Heidi Montag has the kind of delusional self-esteem that leads people to attempt to (unsuccessfully) take over nations. Just no sense of reality. Which means she’s perfect for reality television. Montag has had a delightfully failing music “career.” Which really is much too strong a word, even with the quotations marks. Her first single “Higher” was laughed right off the internet – as was the home-movie video that boyfriend Spencer Pratt filmed for it.

Despite being not just a failure but considered lower than K-Fed in terms of music credibility (and that’s one of the few positions under failure on the success ladder), Montag has decided she wants to put out a new album – a Christian album, no less. The best response I could think of was something Tina Fey’s character said on 30 Rock: “If reality TV has taught us anything it’s that you can’t keep people with no shame down”

“I have been the most religious person since I was 2 years old. I always felt this crazy connection to God,” says Montag, who identifies herself as “kind of non-denominational Baptist.”

Montag — who just released her latest single “Fashion” and frequently reads the Bible — says she even wants to record a Christian album.

She adds that she once planned on devoting her life to God as a missionary in Africa. She and beau Spencer Pratt — who just attacked Mary-Kate Olsen after she said he had a bad temper in high school — will head there in August to “feed children and help build things.”

Of [Lauren] Conrad’s claim that Montag spread those sex tape rumors, Montag says: “God knows the truth in all of this, and at the end of the day, that is the only thing that matters. Jesus was persecuted, and I’m going to get persecuted, ya know?”

[From Us Weekly]

Heidi Montag says she’s the MOST religious person? Out of… who?? The other girls on The Hills? Or the whole world? Or ever? I mean, she is the most.

But you know, this all makes a lot of sense. Jesus was really into fashion. In fact He placed a pretty high level of importance on it in the Bible. I think it’s in the book of Chanel. Here’s the problem: Heidi Montag should not be recording any album. End of story. I’m pretty sure you can find that buried somewhere in the Bible if you look hard enough.

Here’s Heidi and Spencer – as well as Heidi performing with Tracy Morgan at the Boost Mobile Rock Corps at the Gibson Amphitheatre in Los Angeles on June 20th. Images thanks to WENN.