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34 Responses to “Elvira: Tom Jones took my virginity, I needed stitches & he ditched me”

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  1. Bodhi says:

    :shudder:

  2. Carl says:

    Yeah right … She was dancing in a nude Las Vegas revue, and she was a virgin at the time?

    Um … ok … and sign here for the Brooklyn Bridge.

  3. Prissa says:

    Wow! She looks better in the Elvira makeup!

  4. anon says:

    she looks like an older version of Melissa Joan Hart!

  5. Lola says:

    I love the Elvira movie. It was so funny. I had never seen such bad script, acting, casting etc but for some reason, I found it very entertaining.

  6. Jenna says:

    How on earth does she get her boobs to look like they have been digitally remastered or pushed together like that? I must know! I want mine to do that… 😐

  7. Blackalicious says:

    Someone beat me to the Melissa Jona Hart comaprison. True. It’s uncanny.

    Tom Jones is married, for YEARS to the same woman. The London Daily Mail (I know, slop but they have good stories..) had a huge story on her. She is REALLY the antithesis of the nubile groupie sylph you’d think he’s marry. I was shocked when I saw it. She is a little older than him I think; apparently she has massive agoraphobia and stays home and he cheats, she knows it but they have an arrangement. Very interesting article. Oddly it seems he cares deeply for her too, he has chosen to stay married for years – they just have an understanding.

  8. Anna says:

    Stitches after sex? Poor thing. And ewww. I like some of Tom Jones’ tracks, but never in a million years would I have wanted to take the guy home. Not when he was young and certainly not now. Gross.
    I often hear that first times were painful, but this certainly takes the cake. I’m doubly glad it wasn’t like this for me after reading this horror story.

  9. ri23 says:

    Too much information. Stop sharing.

  10. Embee says:

    I literally had to stop eating my lunch after reading this. Great diet plan, though.

  11. Syko says:

    Who knew? I always thought that was a sock.

    I think this story is probably enormously exaggerated.

    And whatever titillating fantasies I may ever have had about Tom Jones (maybe one or two, maybe 100 years ago) have all been wiped out by looking at the picture of him above.

  12. Jack says:

    oh my! I’m grateful I didn’t have someone like Tom as my first. geesh. In my experience blokes don’t know how to be gentle sometimes. I’ve had to tell them off, and they’ve been really shocked. Although not been injured as bad as she was. Poor girl 🙁

  13. Ron says:

    Tom Jones literally ripped her a new one!

  14. xiaoecho says:

    ouch

  15. vdantev says:

    Love her !! She’s hilarious at conventions. But damn, keep it to yourself once in a while.

  16. RhymesWithSilver says:

    I went as Elvira for Halloween…when I was 8. How the hell did I even know who Elvira was? My mother sure as hell didn’t know- she thought she was just making a vampire costume. I put great big slits in the skirt with my safety scissors once I got to school. Man, I was such a wicked little minx in second grade …

  17. Kaiser/ Hippacrat says:

    OMG, Rhymes! I was Elvira for Halloween when I was 8 or 9… it’s sketchy to realize how weird that get-up looks on prepubescent girls.

  18. gg says:

    Jenna, I read a long time ago that Elvira designed a special bra that’s designed to lift and push but doesn’t connect in the front. She was hawking them decades ago.

  19. lola lola says:

    Her afternoon movie show was the funniest thing on TV at the time. I still laugh when I think of some of her comments on the movies she was showing. Hysterical!

  20. Leandra says:

    I think this is true. I can’t see her making something like this up about another person out of the blue……..he’s been married since he was 16 so I guess his wife just turned a blind eye. I did hear years ago that he had a large one…….ewwww on anything with him.

  21. sue mac says:

    Too bad for her.That kind of sex is definitely for a non-virgin.

  22. Jenna says:

    Oh, well I want one. Buy it for me :mrgreen:

  23. Kinkkerbelle says:

    Why the heck would she go back to him the next night if it was horrible and left her torn and wounded?

  24. Jason says:

    I’ve had the pleasure of working with Cassandra quite a few times over the past 5 years and I can say this story is 100% true, with no exaggerations.

  25. Amy says:

    I’ve torn during sex, too, and not even with huge guys. If he’s well-endowed and she was a virgin, this sounds more than plausible. Poor girl. 🙁

  26. cindy says:

    She should consider herself lucky. I would kill to bed him, even now that he is older. He is the sexiest thing that ever lived, in my opinion. I still have dreams about him.

  27. Diane says:

    Tom Jones was good friends with Elvis when he was alive. He was very good looking when he was younger.
    It doesn’t matter how his marrieage is. If they both agree to the arangements. I salute him for staying with her ALL these years. He was a teenager for heavens sakes and they are still together. And many of their friends say he adores her.
    You can say you feel sorry for cassandra but for one thing she knew he was married and another if I would have been torn apart as she had been. I sure wouldn’t go back for seconds.
    Telling tales out of bed. She was probably angry because he was with 2 other back up singers.

  28. H.C says:

    What do you want to bet that Jones didn’t even know she was a virgin, (IF she infact was, being a nude dancer and a virgin don’t usually coincide) in reality she was probably putting on an act of being sexy and experienced just to get him into bed.
    She thought she could handle it and then reality struck. What was she expecting? For some reason I highly doubt it would have been ‘horrible’ for someone who wasn’t a virgin. …or someone who didn’t have unrealistic delusion of everlasting love, got dumped and is spiteful.

  29. Camilla says:

    Tom Jones is looking better now than he ever has. He is the most sexy man that ever walked this earth. And he can sing!
    He sound like a asshole, but i choose to believe that he’s not like that private. 🙂
    Would have done him anyday.
    YOU THE BEST TOM!

  30. Twez says:

    She looks like Allyson Hannigan’s mom with all the work she’s had done.

  31. Jenn says:

    @ Carl: Yes it’s possible to be a revue dancer AND a virgin. One has nothing to do with the other. A Las Vegas dancer isn’t a prostitute.

    How do you explain Adriana Lima, the Victoria Secret model who was a virgin until she married Serbian basketball player (AND FUGLY CROSS-EYED BUTTERFACE) Marko Jarić??? Adriana is a gorgeous girl and she models bras and panties for a living. Yet she was still a virgin in her mid 20s.

    It’s totally possible Cassandra Peterson aka Elvira was inexperienced as well. And obviously she was also EXTREMELY NAIVE, STUPID, AND SUFFERING FROM LOW SELF-ESTEEM TO LET SOME HAIRY PROMISCUOUS FUGLY MANHO DEFLOWER HER.

    Poor girl. I feel bad for her. Tom Jones is a disgusting creature both inside and out.

  32. Seriously says:

    There’s another name for this! – she consented to sex, not brutality. He’s lucky it happened years ago. He might be in a mess if it happened now.

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  34. Alfestar says:

    Same thing happened to my gf when she was a virgin. A guy was driving her home from a party, and wanted something “in return.” He pulled off her knickers, and made her hold her knees to her chest. Then, something that felt like an anaconda was beeing pushed inside her.

    She was bleeding all over the car seat and her clothes, and the next day it was hurting so bad she went to see the doctor, where she got stitches and the morning after pill.