You know how I was kind of making fun of Us Weekly’s Kate Middleton story this week? Well, my bad. It’s actually a really good piece for those of us who love royal gossip and junk. The cover story is very lengthy, so I’m just going to do the highlights:

*Kate will have an entourage from here on out: She used to be able to take a bus or a cab with just her sister, but now she has an entourage. “Now, she has a full entourage in tow,” Katie Nicholl tells Us. “The enormity of what she’s in is finally sinking in.” She’s losing some freedom and independence, but that is “the price she’ll pay for falling in love with the future king.”

*Kate in “encouraged” to have a voice, unlike Princess Diana: “If Kate was to voice something to William or an aide, it would not be ignored. She in encouraged to speak up,” says a senior palace source. “The palace has learned from the past with Diana.”

*The senior palace source also says: “William is determined for this to be the beginning of a new royal family with new ways of doing things. He wants his marriage to last.”

*Since the engagement announcement, Kate has been staying at Clarence House, not Buckingham Palace. Clarence House is the residence of the Prince of Wales (and former residence of the Queen Mum). She has weekly meetings with the royal wedding planners, and she seems to be a “good planner.”

*Her parents are finding it hard to cope with the fact that there’s an armed police car at the end of their driveway.

*Williams is still going to make Kate cook for him and do all of the housework: “they don’t plan on having butlers or valets and Kate will still cook and host dinner parties.” That is, there are no plans for any of that when they are in Wales, for William’s training. While Kate is in London, she’s got a full staff at her disposal.

*Kate plans to make her younger (wild) sister Pippa her lady-in-waiting. Katie Nicholl defined a lady in waiting as: “The Queen has between 3 and 10. She trusts them to help her select outfits, wait in the car with her, pick out her favorite posies and help with her crossword. It’s a rare intimacy. It’s unpaid.”

*Kate and William did a an engagement photo shoot with Mario Testino (“the same acclaimed star photographer who took iconic pictures of Princess Diana shortly before her death.”) It was a “top secret session.” A St. James spokesperson confirmed that the photoshoot took place “privately with Prince William.”

*In the nine years of dating, Kate has “lost her puppy fat.” Since she began dating the future King eight years ago, Middleton has transformed from “a university student into a woman,” Simone Simmons, a close pal of the late Princess Diana, tells Us. “I call it that she lost her puppy fat!”

*Workouts: While in London, Middleton works out regularly at the Clarence House gym — and gets beautified at Richard Ward Hair and Metrospa in the British city’s Sloane Square.

*On curtsying: “When a nonblood royal is with a royal spouse, they take on their spouse’s elevated rank,” according to the mag. If Kate sees Camilla and Charles, Kate has to curtsy, but if Charles is not around and Kate is with William, Camilla has to curtsy. And none of the low debutante dip curtsying! It should be “just a bob down, about 10 centimeters.” And! Kate has to walk a step behind Prince William (just like Prince Philip has to walk behind the Queen.)

*On grooming: “Kate is always perfectly manicured, and she will have blow-dries before she goes out,” says Katie Nicholl, royal watcher and author of William and Harry: Behind the Palace Walls. She adds that Middleton and William, also 28, likely got their teeth whitened in advance of their engagement announcement.

*The Queen has deigned to take an interest in Kate. Nicholl says: “Their relationship is fascinating.” Kate will likely have weekly meetings with the Queen, where she will be encouraged to listen, not talk.

*Once married, Kate and William will likely be given their own apartment in Kensington Palace – maybe even Princess Diana’s old apartment. Creepy.

[From Us Weekly, print and online editions, with an additional transcript from Jezebel]

See? It’s epic. I know most you don’t care, but I can’t get enough. I think very, very, VERY soon we’re going to start seeing bits and pieces of the “real” Kate – the one who isn’t content to just be an “army wife” ignored and alone, without even a bustling staff to do everything for her. My guess is that Kate is going to be spending a great deal of the engagement in London, theoretically to “plan the wedding” but really because she enjoys the staff.

One last thing – HuffPo reports that Kate and Will have to have a “therapy” session with some Church of England priest. Prince William’s spokesperson says: “It’s customary for a priest to meet with the couple before their wedding.” They will discuss how to deal with marital problems, parenthood, etc.