Linnocent will debut her Playboy cover on Ellen next week, but here‘s a preview. [ICYDK]
Brad Pitt, George Clooney & many more do awesome villain videos. [NYT]
Blind items! Khloe Kardashian totally isn‘t a Kardashian. [Dlisted]
Stacy Keibler mentioned babies! It was nice knowing you, Cray-Cray. [LaineyGossip]
State of Play on BBC America! The original, awesome miniseries. [Pajiba]
Kristen Wiig is dating Drew Barrymore‘s ex. [Evil Beet]
Rebecca Gayheart & Eric Dane are still together. [Celebuzz]
Sofia Vergara makes bad faces. Her rack still looks good, though. [The Blemish]
Oh, hello, Nick Ayler. Can I buy you a drink? [A Socialite Life]
OMG, read Mike‘s CRAY CRAY letter to Lauren. [CDAN]
An 8-year-old pwns Michelle Bachmann. [The Frisky]
Queen Latifah covers Essence, talks about body image. [Bossip]
Our current Miss America is a drunk-driving a–hole. [IDLITW]
Sleepy Kitteh just wants to go to sleep right here okay? [OMG Blog]
Alec Baldwin quit Twitter. Because it‘s a rude, vile little pig. [I’m Not Obsessed]
Matt Damon & David Letterman pose for their Christmas card. [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
wtf is with her leg and arm?
Why anyone would pay to see Lindsay spread eagle is beyond me. I hope the magazine dies on the shelf. I know Linnocent already got paid, but maybe if the mag doesn’t sell, it will deter others from doing this again.
Sadly, it’ll probably fly off the shelves and then feed her delusions that the way she’s living her life is acceptable.
Word.
TD
I think you’re right, but I hope were both wrong. I would LOVE for this issue to fail. . . EPICLY!
Faces of meth photo-shopped…lol
No doubt she will be unrecognizable after they photo shop all the meth sores off her body.
Favorite comment!
I am 54…my boobs have age as an excuse to sag that bad.
Maybe the only body double that would agree to the shoot was a 54 year old woman?
Lol, they are a bit saggy. She’s become such a waste. Will she ever just get over herself and snap out of it?
If she actually wanted to have a career then she needs to start sorting herself out.
Nearing 40,well endowed,and my mom told from day one, always wear a bra. Even wear a comfortable one while sleeping. Took her advice. Yes, I’m going to brag a little,my boobs still look great. Girl needs to harness them up, she never wears a bra and its why they’re so saggy.
THIS! It’s really the best advice I’ve ever gotten, I haven’t slept or done anything but shower without my bra on since I was fourteen and it’s totally paid off. I highly recommend it! Now I feel super weird without a bra on.
Father’s stay in your daughters lives, or they may end up spread eagle, badly photo shoped on a non-relevant men’s magazine.
That pic of Lohan coming out of the sea like a mythical creature…TICKLES ME PINK EVERYTIME!!!
I swear I can hear her hissing every time I see it.
“Release the Cracken!”
Ewww. That cover picture makes her look like a dirty whore they cleaned up and put red lipstick on. Oh, wait….
That bunny chair is obviously designed to take your mind off the fact that you’re looking at a skanked-out, cracked-out sack of freckles with boobs so low they can kiss the chair between her legs. If PB was a responsible publication, they’d include a little container of antibiotic eyewash with every copy sold.
It’s truly special to see the “Cracken” photo AND “Pink Fur Hobag” all in the same day!
I hope the photoshop folks get a big, fat Christmas bonus for having to go anywhere near that cess pool. Ewwww.
I hope they burned that chair in a religious ceremony and then did a self-cleansing ritual too. Or maybe the photogs et al were dressed in hazmat suits.
I wish Lindsay would read your comment cause it’s GOLD! LMAO!
Gab
Didn’t you see HAZMAT at the morgue the other day? You’d think thats where they were taking the chair, by no, they were ‘escorting’ (double entendre) Blohan to CS.
The ‘chair’ was taken out back after the shoot, Hef doused it with lighter fluid and struck a match. Problem solved!
HAZMAT returned to PB to delouse the studio where the shoot took place. Again, problem solved!
Omg, I choked on my water. Lol
It looks like she could probably sling her floppy boobs over her shoulders if she wanted. Her face is so photo-shopped you can barely tell its her, which is actually a good thing but they might as well have saved some money by just using another model and p-shopping her to look like LL.
I bet her mother is so proud.
She is. Unfortunately.
The sad thing is the Cracken’s mother is very proud of this PB cover. Don’t forget Dina Lohan is still getting her 20% cut of everything LL earns.
Thank god for photoshop
They should have insisted she dye her hair red as part of the deal. She would have been unique in the photoshoot instead of her bleached mess.
just like to note – it’s not the current Miss America – it’s the former (2010) Miss USA
Does anyone know if guests/celebrities like Lindsay get paid to appear on Ellen/talk shows??
Lindsay probably had to pay Ellen to appear on her show!
Afternoon Mort
LMAO!
No doubt.
Yes, they do. Hubby has done every show except SNL and they all pay pretty well.
Ellen was very cool, BTW.
They do get paid. Not much, though…union (SAG or AFTRA) minimum. So around $400.
She is no longer a member of SAG. How does she get paid now? Any idea ShanKat? Does SAG have the power to set the rates for guests on talk shows? I don’t know much about SAG. Appreciate any information out of curiosity, thanks.
Interesting that the majority of the Playboy covers usually have the women in lingerie and showing more skin, like their belly and such. Whereas Lindsay is covered up by a chair.
Maybe they didn’t have enough money to pay for the photoshop on the cover and the actual spread?
I’m embarassed to say this, but my grandfather still has a subscription to Playboy. He’s had this since my dad was a kid. -_-;
Guess I’ll see this issue hidden under the couch cushions when I go to see him for Christmas.
CR
Whatever you do, DON’T LOOK! You can’t ‘unring the bell’ so to speak. Once you look at that, its all over. You can’t ‘unsee’ what has already been seen.
I’ll be drinking plenty of booze beforehand, and will make sure to be in the bathroom when I look. I can’t help it, I’m curious to see exactly how photoshopped Lindsay will be.
Thankfully Playboy isn’t the more explicit nudie magazine. I don’t think even I would be able to stomach a full on view of Lindsay’s anatomy.
*EDIT* I’ve been looking at this site: http://celebslam.celebuzz.com/2011/12/bfm_enlarged/enlarged-lohan_wardrobe_malfunctions.php?bfm_index=47
Has this girl EVER worn a bra? I never thought implants could sag that bad. And she literally has no areolas. O_o;
CR
Good thinking. Your planning ahead, knowing booze and the loo will need to go together for this fiasco.
As for the ‘sag’. I know I’m in the minority here and have never mentioned it before but I believe her tata’s are natural. She’s ‘sagged’ for so long, with not wearing a bra and all, I just don’t think she’s had implants. I supposed we’ll know when the issue comes out.
I’ll just check out the pics online, PB is crazy if they people will line the streets to see Blohan, nude or not.
As for the ‘photoshop’. We all said from the moment it was first rumored, then confirmed that she’d be photoshopped from here to enternity. Just look at the above photo. Where are her freckles? Her legs are NOT that long. Her saggy tits look about right but thats about it. I won’t even attempt the mug.
Someone save this woman!!
I’m a Playboy fan from way back, and that cover is just bad. Sad that’s the best they could make her look.
Ew. That’s all I have to say.
How can Playboy realistically justify putting L’houdini on their cover when they have all those pretty young blonde toys lined up in old Hugh’s bed? Gross!
Really makes you wonder how desperate Playboy are! And, how on earth did they decide L’houdini would make the stagmag more popular..huh..have we missed something..?
Each copy of Playboy will be sold with a bottle of rubbing alchol to splash into your eyes. To be used either before or after I”m guessing it’s the user’s discretion. Matches sold seperatly.
Hehehe
+1 for you my lady
+ 2
what a gross cover. and how disappointing that ellen would promote this shit; and why would her audience be interested in this skank. i’m sure the nightly shows will watch for the audience reaction and if it’s at all positive, will immediately book her.
i guess ellen is degrading herself by promoting her as lindsay is supposedly a part-time lesbian.
That letter from Mike is TOO much! I do think Lauren was rude (esp. at her age) not to respond to his texts or voicemails but I also think his letter is a clear indication of why.
She definitely shouldnt respond to this email (that would only serve to confirm she received it/another means of him contacting her) but I think a simple text message is in order: “Mike I’m not interested in continuing to date you.”
O M G! is right.
CRACK TAILGATE LADIES, you gotta read this post: OMG, read Mike‘s CRAY CRAY letter to Lauren. [CDAN]
I agree she should ABSOLUTELY NOT RESPOND to his email, but I so disagree with you that she should respond by text.
“but I think a simple text message is in order: “Mike I’m not interested in continuing to date you.”
Kasey, if this woman texted him your quote above, he’d respond with “WHY?” and it would never end.
It stated in the ’email’ that he called, left v/m’s, and texted numerous times. This man is a textbook stalker. He obviously frightened her away. He probably called her THAT NIGHT after the date, first thing in the morning, then at lunchtime, maybe after work. She’s like ‘eff this, I don’t think so’ and thought it best just to leave well enough alone. She probably thought he’d take the hint. ANY contact would only encourage this possibly dangerous man.
He kept repeating himself over and over again for her to contact him. If I were Lauren, I’d stay away from the Philharmonic alone. This man does not sound right in the head, especially after ONE DINNER. Wow, just WOW!
Totally agree. I think I might even change my number.
Hey Madisyn,
It wouldn’t surprise me at all if he did text back “why?” but the fact remains that it’s immature that she didn’t respond to his texts/voicemails (perhaps doing so would have prevented this lengthy novel and he would have been on to the next victim). A simple text that she’s not interested is the least she could do and whatever his response after that is on him. It certainly would end after that because she could feel free to ignore all further communication with a clear conscience.
Personally, I would be kicking myself that I hadn’t formally cut him loose before it got to this and possibly prevented this nonsense. I can’t control what others do but I can certainly make sure my actions are above board.
That’s appropriate for her…spread eagle. It’s probably the only position that feels natural to her.
Ellen: Thought your show had more class.
LMAO
Touche!
WOW!!!
And this is a reshoot…..
This pic doesn’t look hot or good at all….so wonder just how bad the first shoot was….
I’m just sayin’
The SAG!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For her to do playboy she must be at rock bottom.
Its amazing what photoshop can do isn’t it.
Her pose is beyond awkward though.
Jaysus, that doesnt even look like Linnocent!!?!
Photoshopping big time!
Bizarrley I cant wait to see the shots, purely from curiosity and to see how little the shots actually resemble the real Linnocent!!
*waves to all the ladies*
Hey ruby!
Don’t think I’ll be looking at the pics, but I’ll take your word when you tell me how terrifying they are. It may even be like that movie “The Ring,” where you die after seeing it; but instead when you look at her in playboy you immediately catch an STD. So you may want to stock up on precautionary antibiotics 😉
Good advice Morticians, I will be stocking up on super strength anti-biotics and will be also wearing full head to toe radiation prevention suit so no crackie std’s are coming remotely near me!! 😉
& I know I shouldn’t look, but my curiosity is just toooooo strong!!
*Waving back* to Ruby
Not only do they need to photoshop the body but especially the mug. Thats whats going to need the most tweaking. (pun intended)
Lol!! Like the pun! 😉 I know they are going to be vile but so not Linnocent like…am too curious!!
Why debut on Ellen? Isn’t this show on in the early part of the day? (Don’t watch it) Seems like Chelsea Lately would be a more appropriate show. Bet Chelsea would tell her just what she thinks, but Ellen will be all nice. To polite to call a skank a skank. Chelsea wouldn’t have a problem with that.
I think Ellen genuinely feels bad for Lindsay and has decided to throw her one last crack bone in order to help jump start her failing career.
“Do your boobs hang low, do they wobble to and fro, do your boobs hang low? Can you tie em in a knot, can you tie em in a bow, do your boobs hang low. Can you throw em over your shoulder like a Continental soldier, do your boobs hang lowwwww?
Thank you for that. I just snorted out my tea. *goes off to find a tissue*
Your welcome. I learned that little ditty in Girl Scouts about a million years ago. Of course we substituted those words for more boring words. Never thought I could use em on the web though.
I’ll buy it. There hasn’t been a more interesting woman on the cover for a while. Being in Playboy takes a certain celeb, She’s not boring like Kim. It used to be just want to be models selling sex, then actresses who wanted to show the world the were still sexy, then aging actresses showing they were still sexy, then cheesy celebs that just wanted to show they were a woman, now it’s actresses who can’t get any more work. Who’s next?
What an awkward cover,
Pose is weird….
Intensified Mcdonalds color scheme….
awkward…..
The photo looks nothing like her; this bodes well for the rest of the pics….
Wow, at least she got her teeth fixed prior to this shoot because she looked like a dog who chewed on it’s bone for too long with those little, stained, chipped teeth. Now the question is, are her boobs really as droopy as everyone claims? I think not, she’s easy to hate but I’d still do her.
BTW, where is BRB, GC, ILG, and the rest of “that” crew?
BFD hasn’t she used that pose 1000 times already?
At least she doesn’t have her finger in her mouth.
I will be dumbfounded if there isn’t at least one photo of Lohan posing with her finger in her mouth. That’s her signature pose.
Don’t any one notice how out of proportion her head size is compared to her body ..It’s at least 20 % larger then her body..its been photoshopped over the Playboy Title and they did a piss poor job of it…as for the rest my goodness if this is the best they could do it boogles the mind to think what it looked like before… legs have been lengthtened , arms have been altered and they tired to raise those floggy boobs…and the face is almost unrecogiziable…..and last is the freckles …computer must have burnt out before they got half of them…..
All I can think of when I see it is that after this shoot, she went out and crashed that Hollywood party with like Leo DiCaprio and everyone and made people nervous with her crackraziness. Remember? She kept the hair and makeup and took it for a ho-stroll where she wasn’t wanted.
heck, with photoshopping like that, i could be playmate of the year
Oh MADDDDDISSSSSSYYYYNNNNNN!!!!
What do you make of the recent glut of LiLo stories? Just as puzzling as radio silence is the sudden onslaught of radio NOISE. If Hef was in charge, I can’t believe he would’ve signed off on the faux Heath Ledger story, which confirms everyone’s idea of her as a desperate, lying loser…
Hey hey hey Booooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!
As for your first question:
“What do you make of the recent glut of LiLo stories”?
Three words: THE CHECK CLEARED!
As for your next comment:
“If Hef was in charge, I can’t believe he would’ve signed off on the faux Heath Ledger story”
Your right, Hef would NOT have allowed this idiotic story, but Hef’s NOT in charge any more. (see the above, THE CHECK CLEARED)
Of course! I would’ve thought he’d hold it until the mag hit the newsstands, but you’re right! Crackie on the looooooose!
Mad, I agree with you. Linnocent is out of her cage as far as PB is concerned.
What is your guess as to what’s going to happen with the CS on December 14th?
Bess
I’ve stated on a couple of previous threads that I’m conflicted on whether she completed her REQUIRED CS or not, I can make an argument both ways.
As for what will happen, well either one of two things. She finished her 12 CS and 4 PYSCHOtherapy sessions and the judge asks if she brought along a PB for Blohan to autograph and sends her on her merry way. Or she has NOT done as required and goes to jail. For how long, no one knows. Thats it, can’t be anything else, right?
Now that some lackey who works for PB unlocked her cage and you heard Hef over the loud speaker, yell ‘RELEASE THE CRACKEN!’, now the fun begins.
I can only say one word
EW
I like how the article calls her “the Mean Girls star”. Mean Girls came out in 2004. That was SEVEN years ago.
“Good luck with that showing your snatch to the world thing.” –David Spade on a friend’s wife bragging about her upcoming Playboy spread.
Also. Ew. They put someone else’s face on her, gave her Rupaul’s old wig, but the chicken legs and bedraggled boobs look all too frighteningly real.
Your soooooo right Madisyn…..
but you can bet you biffy is wasn’t a million dollars…more like $100,000 if she was lucky…thats the most he would pay and not get a full monte out of the deal….If that cover is any indecation of what the other pictures look like he over payed by $999,99 dollars….cause it would cost him that much to photoshop them enough to show……
Hillbilly
Of course she didn’t get $ 1 Mil, whether she flashed her crab infested vag or not. (sorry people, I’m in a mood) Thats ‘Lohan Inc.’ OVERINFLATING to make people think she’s ‘in demand’. Same with the Philip Plein shoot. She walked around Milan with him for what, two days and this no-name designer paid her half a mil. It would be sad and pathetic if it wasn’t so exaggerated.
This twit is a laughing stock. And EVERYONE will comment on her pics because all will point out (like you did) the intense photoshop that took place. This is not a hermit, this is a famewhore who is photographed almost DAILY with the exception of the last three weeks and will continue to be papp’d contantly in the future. THATS what she REALLY looks like, not these airbrushed to hell and back pictures.
that kid did not pawn Michelle Bachmann. It actually made her look good. That kid looked forced into saying something he didn’t want to, sorry he didn’t pawn her. It’s obvious he was forced into it.
So how is this all going to work out with the photos on December 15? Will all of them be available online when the magazine hits the streets?
I wouldn’t pay to see LL’s girly parts, but I’d look for curiosity’s sake if the photos somehow found their way onto the interwebs for free.
I would look for curiousity sake. Not her ‘girly bits’ but just to see what the ‘masters of photoshop’ guys and girls can do at PB.
Wouldn’t it have been better to release the mag the day BEFORE her court date, instead of after? That way her ‘fans’ could line the courthouse ‘red carpet’ and she could ‘autograph’ their magazines, including Judge Stephanie’s.
Let me just say I hope the people who had to work triple time to do the photoshop work on Linnocent’s PB photos got a MASSIVE Christmas bonus from Hef with some hazard pay thrown in for good measure.
If Linnocent has somehow managed to do all of the required CS & therapy in anticipation of the December 14 court date, look out NYC. The Cracken is out of her cage and will be ready to terrorize all store security guards, waitresses in clubs, paparazzi and innocent bystanders.
I’m going in! cover me! I’m taking a bullet for Celebitchy, I’m going to open the mag and look at her lady bits! I love you all, tell my mother I love her, and I’ll see you on the other side! (I think I’ve had too much coffee this morning!)
It’s Playboys Crack Whore edition.
Well, we’ve seen her boobs already several times, we’ve seen her firecrotch in the past, and she already showed us the playboy make-up months ago, so what’s left for us there to see?
I was just thinking it’s been a while since we’ve heard anything about Blohan – spoke too f**king soon!!
And Mike – what a delusional whackjob! He sounds just as delusional as the Cracken. Maybe they’d be perfect for each other.
Firecrotch! Firecrotch! Everyone gets to see her firecrotch. Ewwwwww….
“And she literally has no areolas.”
I’m pretty that big freckle on her thigh is the missing areola.
H A !!
Sure, I’m pretty sure…brain fart, sorry.
Mad, I don’t have a guess about the CS either. It’s puzzling. On one hand it’s odd that we didn’t have one photo of her arriving or leaving the morgue since the last court date.
On the other, would Linnocent actually want to risk being in the clink for the release of the PB spread (yuck) and Christmas at Mother Crackhead’s and all the NYC club hopping?
Could she have found a way in that the staff told her about, where the paps aren’t allowed and THATS how she’s been doing CS but no photos? I’m sure theres more than one entrance. Its all I can think of.
You have to read ‘OMG Mike’s CRAY CRAY email to Lauren (CDAN)’ Its on the links at the top of the page. If you read it, let me know your thoughts. That goes for all you Tailgate bitches!
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2011/12/lindsay-lohan-not-only-in-playboy-but-ahead-of-schedule-on-community-service.html
Lindsay Lohan is making headlines for her upcoming Playboy centerfold. But law enforcement sources said she’s been quietly putting in her required hours of community service at the L.A. County coroner’s office and is now ahead of schedule for completing the court-ordered service.
Lohan is scheduled to appear before Judge Stephanie Sautner Dec. 14 for a probation update, and those familiar with her community service say she has been doing more than 12 days a month at the county morgue. At this rate she could finish her community service by March in connection with her probation violation on her necklace theft conviction and 2007 driving under the influence conviction.
Last month, the judge sentenced Lohan to 30 days in jail and ordered her to complete her entire community service at the morgue, where she works as a janitor. The jail time amounted to a matter of hours.
Lohan admitted to violating probation by missing required work days and appointments. Lohan missed 12 of 20 scheduled workdays at the Downtown Women’s Center imposed in May when she pleaded guilty to the necklace theft from a Venice jewelry store. Lohan, 25, also canceled 14 of 19 scheduled appointments for court-ordered psychotherapy, they said.
Under the judge’s order, she must also attend 18 psychotherapy sessions. Sautner warned the actress that if she failed to meet the terms of her probation, she will be returned to jail for another 270 days. “This is what we really call putting the keys to the jail in the defendant’s hands,” Sautner told Lohan.
Lohan is required to report to the court each month and was seen last week visiting probation staff. She appears on the cover of next month’s Playboy. Images of the cover have already been leaked. The photos were shot between sessions at the county morgue and court appearance last month.
Did you read that crazy email I recommended to you?
Though I’m not saying she’s not up to speed with her CS, I do find it odd they know ‘she’s ahead of schedule’ but don’t give a firm number?
Again, even I think she’s either done her required days OR done enough and has enough time left to finish any classes that need to be completed by her court date. Remember the judge said, ‘if she’s not in compliance, I’m to be informed IMMEDIATELY, don’t wait for the next hearing’. In other words, technically theres only 3 more possible days she can do of CS. If she needed 4 or more days to complete, she’d be in violation. And we haven’t heard jack about an arrest warrant. Of course, theres still time left for her to f*ck up.
I did read the crazy email. The guy really didn’t know how to take a hint. When she didn’t respond to his other calls or voicemails, he should have just dropped it.
Bess
Its not that he didn’t “know HOW to take a hint’, its that he WOULDN’T take the hint. He got it, he just wouldn’t ‘let go’. SCARY.
What did you think of the theory that if she was in violation, (doesn’t have enough days to complete) there would already be an arrest warrant issued?
Mad,
Would the judge issue the arrest warrant immediately or would she just order that LL appear at the hearing on December 14 and then have her taken into custody?