On Sunday, it was announced that Lindsay Lohan would be hosting an episode of Saturday Night Live in early March. The announcement spelled crack disaster for one and for all, and I can’t even imagine what Lorne Michaels was even thinking. Lindsay, of course, used the promise of this gig to begin her cracked-out re-launch. God, how many re-launches has this crackhead had? She screws it up every single time. She’ll mess up, she’ll claim that she’s changed, she’ll try to re-launch herself and then she messes up again. Rinse and tweak and repeat. Anyway, this is what Team Crackie pushed to Radar yesterday:
With Lindsay Lohan’s legal woes seemingly coming to an end, the actress is ready to step back in front of the camera and get back to work, and on March 3, she’ll be hosting Saturday Night Live, and her rep tells RadarOnline.com exclusively that she is very excited about appearing on the revered NBC late night show.
“Lindsay has been a longtime fan of Saturday Night Live and is incredibly excited to host the show and work with the amazing cast and writers,” her rep, Steve Honig tells RadarOnline.com exclusively.
As RadarOnline.com previously reported, Lindsay will appear in a Los Angeles courtroom this week for a progress hearing in her misdemeanor theft case and will receive a glowing report.
The Mean Girls star, 25, has completed 15 days of court ordered community service at the Los Angeles County Morgue, and 5 therapy sessions, as part of her probation requirements stemming from her no contest plea in the necklace theft case.
“Lindsay is on track and doing very well in fulfilling all terms of her probation, completing her community service at the morgue and her therapy. She is focused and committed to putting this part of her life behind her,” a source close to the actress tells RadarOnline.com.
This could be the beginning of a long anticipated comeback that Lohan and her fans have anticipated. “Lindsay just wants to get back to work. She is almost done with her community service and she is ahead of schedule in finishing before the March 29 deadline. Talks are still underway for her to play Elizabeth Taylor in the Lifetime biopic movie, and she is hopeful that the deal will be signed soon,” an insider tells RadarOnline.com.
[From Radar]
First of all, I guess we’re not supposed to even notice or remark on the cognitive dissonance of being told that the Cracken is doing SO MUCH BETTER and actually seeing her drugged-out, cracked-out appearance at the amFAR gala, and hearing stories about how crazy she was acting. Anyway, I wanted to make a note of that Radar article because that was published early Monday morning – and the claim was that Lohan was still “in talks” to play Elizabeth Taylor in the Lifetime movie. Nevermind that Crackie has been telling everybody that she’s got the part and never mind the Terry Richardson photos where LL poses in a Liz Taylor sweatshirt. So, just hours later, Access Hollywood reported this:
Lindsay Lohan has more than just her upcoming hosting gig on “Saturday Night Live” to celebrate – she’s scored the role of Elizabeth Taylor in the Lifetime TV movie, “Liz and Dick,” a source tells Access Hollywood’s Billy Bush.
But, there is one legal-related caveat: Lindsay needs to stay on the right side of court.
According to the source, if Lohan continues to stick to the judge’s orders, as she has been doing, she will be playing the “Cleopatra” beauty in the Lifetime made-for-TV film about the late actress.
The project, helmed by producer Larry Thompson, has been in development since May 2011.
Following a string of recent legal woes, the 25-year-old appeared in the January/February issue of Playboy. She was last seen on the big screen in “Machete” in 2010 and on the small screen in 2009’s TV movie “Labor Pains.”
She will host “Saturday Night Live” on March 3. Jack White will be the musical guest.
Lohan is due back in court on February 22.
[From Access Hollywood]
A source tells Billy Bush? Did the source smell like tequila and delusion, because this sounds like a maneuver by Mother Crackhead. Outlets are running with this story as a confirmation that LL has gotten the part. I’ll wait for THR or Variety, you know?
Photos courtesy of Terry Richardson’s Diary, PCN, Love Magazine.
God, her lips look so painfully swollen in that last pic! If she cleaned herself up she would be a really pretty girl. Injecting crap into her lips just makes her look scary.
She’s in live with fame and glamour. Too bad both of them are fleeting. I think if she managed to have a substantive, meaningful interest, I’d die of shock.
If that’s true she’s misinterpreted the term “glamour” because she’s the polar opposite of that.
I miss Innocent. Where is Innocent?
I think you mean fame and cocaine…
Morning Dina!
If Lindsay got the Liz Taylor part, was it because of her amazing physical resemblance to Liz, her overwhelming thespian skills, or because of some other talent?
Just askin’, because only one answer really leaps off the page for me.
the girl must give a mean beej or something b/c thats really all she has to offer. Her looks are completely gone. I’ve never seen the talent everyone talks about. she plays herself in most roles, nothing hard about that.
Cracks me up how she considers some of the older guys in the business her “father figures” when they probably just use her the same as any of her other Johns do. Note to LL: just b/c they ask you to call them “daddy” while you’re earning your keep doesnt mean they consider you their daughter or are looking out for you.
@Tierra – That’s the only reason I can think of that she still lands “jobs” at all, even crappy ones: she can suck a mean one. Also perhaps she is simply so insistant and annoying and convinced of her own “stardom” that people give in just to shut her up.
Lots of practise! 😉
OK, my comment makes no sense, dangling here at the bottom. But it was an early reply to an early poster who thought that Lindsay was on the road to an Emmy with this news. Since the news hasn’t been confirmed by a reliable source, I just assumed that the unnamed source and the poster were one and the same (ie Dina). But now that post is gone – would that clan Lohan would do the same.
Your comment still made sense to me. 🙂
It was there this morning…I saw it. Too much delusion too early in the morning. That’s weird that it’s gone now.
Sorry,but this chick is so far from Liz Taylor,it would be an insult.lol at the Emmy award comment
I agree. I see nothing of a resemblance. I wonder if this is all Lohan-Camp propoganda like so many other “jobs” have been in the past. If this isn’t a hoax, I will never watch it. I adore the true memory of Elizabeth Taylor.
My thoughts exactly. She’s no Elizabeth Taylor. I read the post and I thought “who did she blow to get this job?” and how soon will she be out of it for being a junkie? Harsh words but so unfortunately true.
That was my first thought when I read the post (even before clicking on it). Back in her heyday, Elizabeth Taylor was absolutely gorgeous. Who would ever look at Blohan and think “Hey, she would make an excellent Liz Taylor”? Obviously someone as drugged out as Lindsay.
Can’t wait til Crackie screws up again.
And you know she will; it’s in her DNA! *waves @brin*
How many thousands of times have we read “she just wants to get back to work?”. She hasn’t ‘worked,’ meaning ‘acting,’ which is supposedly her chosen legal profession, in years. She consistently chooses to engage in illegal, dangerous pastimes that have made her an industry joke, as well as uninsurable Everything else clearly matters more to her than learning and practicing her profession.
We’ll see.
I see one big Lohan Inc produced and directed disaster in the making…But carry on since they took off all the good soaps on TV and I don’t understand Spanish hee hee…this is the best Soap Opera going…..”As Hollywood Turns” Starring Lindsay and sponsored and paid for by Lohan Inc your Con Artist and Grifters Network…..
Bobby Trendy would make a more believable Liz than Lindsey…was he not available??
Oh my yes! At least he does not have those creepy dead eyes.
Source= Dina Lohan. She’s just stirring up some tabloid drama, still having not learned her lesson that it makes Lindsay professional cyptonite.
BTW, Dina will be appearing on Dr Drew to talk about having a famous child. Oblivious to how that totally undermines Lindsay’s SNL appearance.
She’ll not be playing Liz Taylor.
More sad drama, folks.
Wow first she has morphed herself into a a version of Marilyn so nasty it would be disrespectful to Marilyn & gutter trash to say “gutter trash” version of Marilyn. Now she thinks she is Elizabeth? She really has done too much meth…and her brain is as scrambled as the egg in the “old anti-drug” commercials. Apparently so is her mother’s and her pr team. Oh wait that is her mom.
Its kind of strange seeing a wannabe Marilyn head on a Liz Taylor sweatshirt. Pick one of them to immitate…or here’s an idea, maybe stop trying to live the lives of other famous people, and live your own?
Ahhh…so another page turns in the soap opera that it the crackmeisters life. Can’t wait to see how this turns out.
I think there are tons of people in Hollywood who have a lot of talent.
Why do agents keep on with this talentless crack head?
Is that seriously a picture of someone putting a book next to her head for Liz Taylor comparison (2nd from bottom)? Jeebus, Lindsanity. YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG.
Yeah it’s creepy Terry, can you imagine how wasted they must’ve been to publish this? Was LL too out of it to hold the book herself?
It’s a Lifetime TV movie. I mean, come on. Should we list the other “actresses” that star in TV movies? Tori Spelling, LeAnn Rimes…
You’re on your way back, girl!
I just want to know how you feel about Jeremy Lin trying to TM the name “Linsanity” when you’ve been using that nickname for LL forever?! He can’t have the name!
I think they use “Linnocent” as her name. Ive never seen her referred to Linsanity although it does fit too.
I thought I’ve seen both. Could be wrong.
Every time I see “Linsanity”, I always think it’s about this crackie whore.
Linsanity has been used for the Cracken, as has Linnocent, Crackie von Crackhead, and several other nicknames.
Whenever I read/hear “Linsanity,” my mind automatically thinks “Blohan.”
Me, too! I was telling someone a couple of days ago that the basketball player stole LiLo’s nickname!
No cracktinis?
SNL is stnut casting for ratinfs nothing more. They’re hoping people tune in to see the trainwreck.
The Liz stuff is pure camp Lohan propaganda. Saying she’s git a role doesn’t make it real!
She should be gone soon!
Evemn if the rumors are true, and I hope they are not, this girl is still so into drugs, alchohol and herself it really wom’t matter. She won’t be taken seriously. Now if she were clean and sober then maybe people would look at any “come back” and have faith. 🙂
This kind of makes me laugh. I mean, is a Lifetime movie that big of a deal?? Lifetime is where female C-listers and used-to-be-B-listers end up making watered-down chick flicks. I mean, ok, good for LL for conning someone into giving her a job that involves acting, but let’s not act like she’s opening on Broadway or nominated for an Oscar. I think this kind of puts her in the Hilary Duff/Kristy Swanson/Tori Spelling category of ‘movie actress.’ Yaay???
Amen.
This source must be Dina Lohan – didn’t the same happen with the Gotti role??
I just can’t understand why a serious drug addict and hooker who is being wrongly praised for obeying the court from her law breaking is still being offered roles?!
Thats why it must be Dina or I guess Linnocent has reached some agreement ‘in kind’ for all other cast and crew to secure the role!!
Also yes Linnocent will bring up ratingd but for all the wrong reasons – its to see the mess she is not to admire her ‘fine acting talents’ (which drug use has eroded)
Hey Angel,
Got your message on the last thread. I’m gonna wait for an official announcement before my feathers get ruffled, as I just can’t for the life of me see this happening. I can’t, I won’t!
How many chances has half of Hollywood been given? How many didn’t get any more chances. Given the fame opportunity and money most of us would end up the same way. Pray she makes it and give some support.
In their defense Lifetime has done biopics on Coco Chanel(Shirley MacLaine) and Georgia O’Keefe(Joan Allen) that I really enjoyed watching.
However, I have dumped them as a channel recently because of the bad decisions they seem to be making lately. It appears that they’re now just going for cheap ratings.
Lohan as E. Taylor…I’ll believe it when I see the promos on tv. How many times have we heard of her in this role or that and it never comes about?
Yeah, let’s not throw Lifetime out with the crackie vodka/water!
IF she plays Liz, they will have to dip her in body paint every day to cover up her freckles. Liz had beautiful skin, Blohan, not so much.
Isn’t she a huge insurance risk on any major motion picture, which I assume this will be?
Yes, she’s virtually un-insurable (I believe) at this point. But Lifetime is a cable network channel, not a major studio. (They specialise in women-in-peril movies starring former 90210 & Baywatch actresses.)
This will be no major motion picture; this will be a direct-to-tv/dvd thing, if it even gets made.
I haven’t watched SNL in quite some time, but I’d either tune in or set my DVR for Lohan as host…
Check out the proposed drinking game for Blohan’s SNL gig. It’s on yesterday’s thread.
Does it involve CRACKTINIs?!?!!?
I’m officially a cracktini enthusiast since about 20 mins ago (when I spotted it from you guys on another thread).
The fact that Lifetime has not come out and immediately denied her cracked out claims says a lot. If this is true I will never watch that network again. I will miss my Golden Girls and Will & Grace reruns. Damn!
she was going to be in the Linda Lovelace movie – didn’t happen. She was going to be in the Gotti movie – didn’t happen.
There is still hope.
She’s hosting SNL as well for what I don’t know. But I believe this story of her playing Elizabeth Taylor has got to be false and put out by her camp to make it seem as if LiLo has still got it! Which she clearly does not! Let me know how she is on SNL CB because I won’t be watching.
Oh, she’s such a delight, that Lindsay. I hear that nowadays, it is common practice to put a “don’t fuck up and break any laws” rider on a business contract in Hollywood. I believe Angelina Jolie had a “don’t commit grand larceny” clause, and Reese Witherspoon always get stuck with a “don’t assault anyone with a deadly weapon” clause. Standard.
She was an overrated actress when she was one of Disneys starlets…I just don’t get why people even talk about her. She is talentless. Her only value has been creating headlines.
I know right! Every time i think about that it remind me of the SNL skit they did with Miley and Keenan called Disney Acting School; the exaggerated eye rolls, entering a room loudly, dumb parents smarter kids …. Thats so Raven!
Dear Liz had her problems with substance abuse, so who better to play her than a crack addict. Seriously though, Liz Taylor was a legendary beauty, so how in the hell was crackie offered the role?
My friend is convinced Lilo started her downward spiral after that ‘Georgia’ something movie. i didn’t see it but apparently her character was dark and troubled and she believes Lilo got too immersed in the role and it became her reality. Much like the impression I get now with Lilo and Marilyn. If she’s onto something AND Liz had substance abuse issues that she overcame playing Liz MIGHT actually be a ray of hope for a turnaround for her.
Personally, I think Lilo was talented and had potential, I also remember a side by side of LILO w/ short dark hair and Liz and I thought she channeled her well. If only she’d quit the horrid bleaching and go natural or at least dark! A recent picture of a dark haired Elizabeth Olsen looking like Liz made me think she’d do justice to the role as well.
If I were a famous classic film star like Elizabeth before I passed on I would leave a list of actors who I wouldn’t want to play me. Top of the list: Lilo, followed by Kim K, and P. Hilton
What about LTM films in Canada….how does the Cracken think she be allowed entry into that counrty with the record she has?…..It just turns my stomach everytime I read that she might be playing Dame Taylor.
You can pay the canadian government at the border to “pardon” your American criminal record in order to get into the country. Keith Richards of the Stones comes to Canada all the time by buying a pardon from the Canadian government so that he can go the USA Embassy in Canada to buy a similar pardon so that he can come into the USA. There would be no rock or rap tours in canada if a few criminal convictions was a problem!
That is true, although our government has shown that they will block celebrities sometimes. I keep thinking Paris Hilton was one? Any rate, sometimes they can be selective, and I’m hoping this is one of those times. We certainly don’t need her.
Cash trumps taste – normally, you are not eligible to purchase pardons from the Cdn government unless at least 5 years have passed since your last completed sentence. But if other factors are involved, that can be waived. IF this film is being made, and IF it is being made in Canada, the production company will argue that unless Lohan is allowed into Canada, jobs will be lost. And they will win that argument.
I don’t know about Paris Hilton, but I know if the letter of the law was applied to every pro athlete, musician or actor with a DUI, Canada would be a very dull place!
I think that Sharpton and Farakhan have had problems, as well as some jamaican gangsta musicians, but that was for hate crimes against Jews and homosexuals, not for run of the mill criminality. Which I guess is the last word on Lohan: her criminality, like her career post adolesence, is pretty mediocre.
IF this is true, they just took what could have been an interesting biopic, and made it Z-list with the stroke of a pen.
The ONLY way I see this is possible is if Linds took way less money than the other girls being considered, and that is very possible since she has so much debt. I’m sure her contract also includes some “special favors” to the producers. But how did they manage her on-set insurance? It must be super expensive to insure her!!
My favorite line in this article:
“This could be the beginning of a long anticipated comeback that Lohan and her fans have anticipated.”
Seriously, who are these fans? What planet do they live on? Do they all have the last name Lohan??? Inquiring minds want to know!
This bitch is really grating on my nerves.
She hasn’t worked in YEARS, yet she’s still noted as “Mean Girls star” in write-ups. Her notoriety in the press is overwhelmingly due to her drug use, disregard for the legal system, and desperate acting out to remain relevant.
She is a pathological liar, cheat, a navel-gazing self-obsessed narcissist who ignores the hands held out offering help.
Her resemblance, physical or otherwise, to Marilyn Monroe or Liz Taylor, is NONEXISTENT. Bleaching the shit out of your hair and injecting crap into your lips and mooning about with a pound of costume makeup on does not a starlet make.
It’s entirely obvious why Lifetime is/may be offering her a TV movie role — people will tune in to watch this broad f*ck it up, which is better than having only a handful of people watch Susie Creamcheese play the part really well.
Ugh.
This one-note vapid tramp needs to GO AWAY.
Very well said. I don’t believe that she has any movie part, however. I would be shocked if Lifetime actually gave her this role. Seems to me that her MO is to claim she has roles, b/c she believes that this might actually score her the part, or at least garner her some, “oh, right, Lindsay is an *actress,” attention. If Lifetime has entertained any sort of dialogue with her then that would be there way of getting some free publicity, but that’s a far cry from actually handing her the role.
I mean, she can’t even qualify for insurance nowadays, so I can’t imagine any network putting their neck on the line to that extent.
Very well said. In what alternate universe does Crackzilla even vaguely resemble Liz Taylor? Liz’s ass would make Blohan a Sunday face……
Couldn’t have said it better myself 🙂
May this La Liz movie go the way of the Gotti movie.
“Rinse and tweak and repeat..”
I love it!! LOL!!
I was reading about Nicole and Cate and was struck by the thought that Lohan shouldn’t even be on the same website as those two women. No discernible talent whatsoever. What a joke she has become.
If Crackie gets the part, that is one movie I won’t be watching. The sad part about that is that I love Elizabeth Taylor. I always thought she was the most beautiful woman ever.
Here’s the Cracken SNL Drinking Game:
– Every time she puts her finger in/on her mouth, do a shot.
– Every time we see a coke booger, do two shots.
– When (IF) she’s able to close her mouth, do three shots. And DVR it so we have actual proof she is able to close her mouth. (Bonus bag of “sea jasper” if you do.)
(I think that third one pretty much negates our chance of delusion/alcohol poisoning, as she’s not closed her mouth on camera in years.)
We should totally liveblog it! Imagine how interesting the thread would get. CB?
I’m down! Please, CB? 😀
In other Lohan news, mother of the decade, Dina, is going to be on Dr. Drew tonight to discuss Linnocent’s legal problems and Ali’s controversial modeling career. In other words, in addition to lying and contradicting herself, Dina is going to duck and dodge every question.
I hope the Crack Clique can fill me in on the fun, as I won’t be able to watch it tonight.
I don’t believe this story about the “clause.”
What’s the penalty if she screws up? Oh, everyone else investing and involved suffers. Point being, it’s unenforcible so it’s BS.
I doubt that Elizabeth Taylor (or Marilyn Monroe) had ugly skank tattoos all over her arms and coke boogers in her nose.
after Whitney…hate to rain on the parade…but I am hoping she manages to pull herself together…and not DIE.
TMZ is reporting it’s a done deal. I just emailed Lifetime and told them I am boycotting their station until they drop this dirt bag drug addict loser. La Liz deserves so much better. Ugh.
The SNL job is mind boggling. Just don’ t get it.
LL will screw up again. Just wait.
The SNL episode will probably one of the most watched. Everyone waiting for the train wreck.
If I were one of Liz Taylor’s children I would do everything in my power and the power of her estate to prevent that train wreck of a druggie slut from playing my mother in anything!
If the Cracken gets it together and actually makes the Elizabeth Taylor biopic, then everyone is invited to my home for complimentary all you can drink cracktinis when it premiers on lifetime. BTW, I live in Oakland, but I wouldn’t make your travel arrangements just yet. We’ll have to see if she makes it through SNL and completes her probation. I’m betting some type of pseudo medical issue like the ubiquitous-around-Hollywood “exhaustion,” that will lead to a cancellation of her appearing on SNL and allowing her an excuse to miss her community service. I used to root for Linnocent. Now I’m just being practical and realistic about her situation.
I’m there!
God, I would hate to be on her PR-team, what a nightmare. Every time she goes out she is a mess and contradicts every statement they put out on how hard she’s supposedly working on her sobriety.
Whoever gets picked for this project, they won’t hold a candle to Sherilyn Fenn. She made such a great Elizabeth Taylor.
I too wrote Lifetime and told them that I would never watch their channel again if they hire Crackie Von Cracken.
I think it’s just wrong!
Sherilyn Fenn would be far better,
and don’t think I’m crazy….but I saw a picture of Elizabeth Olson with black hair and she looked pretty.
Just the idea of Lilo’s raspy voice and those floation devices she calls lips….what a nightmare!
Liz was an extraordinary beauty, the only current actress who’s on par with her in terms of looks is Angelina Jolie, really
And now WO has cancelled her interview with Dr. Drew. And she’s negotiating something for Cody. Wonder what’s up?
Hmmmmmmm…
For WO to cancel a tv appearance something must be up. When has that b*tch ever turned down a chance on camera?
Can’t recall. But something is most definitely up!
Liz and Dick? Sound like the basement porn kinda movie that she would be in. Whos is her co-star, Sam Lutfi?
Well, if it turns out to be Dina’s usual delusions – I hope the Lifetime people string her along until she finishes her community service. She seems to need an incentive for each hearing period. Lessee- first it was so she could travel for holidays. Then Hef said he wouldn’t publish her pictures if she was in jail …
How does she continue to get these chances? And how many talented unknown actresses never get a chance because people continue to invest in this dead-eyed waste of space?