Today was Lindsay Lohan’s final court appearance. Except, you know, for all of the court appearances she’ll have to make when she screws up again. But for now, the Cracken is as close as she’s been to freedom as she was back in those halcyon days of… what? 2007? Was that her first arrest? I believe so. So, Lohan was in court for her last progress report for her formal probation. LL is now completely done with all of the DUI stuff, and as for the shoplifting case, she’s sort of done with that too. She’s off of “formal” probation, but she still has some kind of loose “informal” probation which lasts until May 2014. Judge Sautner fell all over herself congratulating the crackhead, but gave her this BS admonishment: “You need to live your life in a more mature way, stop the nightclubbing and focus on your work… I don’t expect to see you again.” Good luck with that, Judge Sautner.
When the proceedings were almost done, Sautner asked Lindsay if she had anything to say, and LL pouted out: “I just want to say thank you your honor for being fair, it’s opened a lot of doors for me and I appreciate it.” And guess what? Crackie wasn’t wearing a bra, I don’t think. TMZ got the ID on her outfit – Givenchy, Celine and The Row – a teal suit and black, high-necked blouse.
So, who wants to take bets on when:
1. Lindsay is arrested again (for DUI, possession, hooking, theft or manslaughter)?
2. The hit-and-run case turns into something major – the victim has already spoken to the LAPD, after all.
3. Lindsay flees America and goes on another international call-girl trip to Europe?
I’m saying “by the end of the year” for all three.
Screepcaps via TMZ’s video feed. Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.
god, that smirk makes me want to slap the b****.
Not a genuine bone in her body. We’ve all known people like her and they never change.
Her smirk wants me to slap that idiotically-incompetent judge!
Co-signed.
It’s infinitely worse than Katie Holmes’ perma-smirk.
Worrrrrd.
I just want to slap her. Just because. (I’d whack her with my car – turnabout’s fair play – but I don’t want Blohan burns on my vehicle. Lord only knows what it would take to disinfect my car!)
Maybe it’s unintentional. I bet she can’t make any other shape with her lips full of filler.
Scrolling through I wondered if she was wearing a bra. Weird. Not a lot of people can pull that off, especially if you’re chesty and prone to weight fluctuations.
She can’t pull it off..
Look how low the girls look in that suit/outfit… Imagine how much better it would have looked if they were supported and up where they’re supposed to be!
They are saline implants–I’d bet my life on it. I had a dancer acquaintance in college who went from a lovely pert A-cup to an E. I saw those puppies up close (she was thrilled)–and they were very good, because you have the perma-firm of the implant, with the sag that makes everyone assume they’re real. My friends’ boobs looked EXACTLY like Lindsay’s (appearance, jiggle, location on chest etc). She never wore a bra, either.
My first post! I enjoy reading everyone’s comments immensely. I got tear-drop shape saline implants & a lift about 10 years ago (I was 28). They look real & have since 4 months after the surgery. I had a size difference that was noticeable and made me self-conscience for years so I got the procedure done. I can go without a bra anytime I want & no sagging, no nipples pointing to the ground. I can’t tell whether hers are real or not but they sure do need some support!
Judge fair??? More like lax in her duties to protect the public.
Echoes of Judge Ito from the Simpson Trial.
PS I give dummy until June to F up.
I’ll give you this, Lohan: nice sunglasses.
Cracktinis are on the house!
And my vodka melon balls are here as well.
Yum!
I’ve got the jello shooters over here,name your flavor!
hmmm…one of each?
Blue, with tequila, please. 🙂
Crack cheers all around ladies!
I just look at the Crackie and I am totally buzzed that’s why I do not read any posts about her until after 12 PM.
She’ll do that to you. Her buzz penetrates the interwebs! lol O_o
I hate myself for saying this, but she doesn’t seem quite as cracked out as usual here. As in, her eyes may/may not actually be able to focus on whoever she’s looking at.
That being said… Holy Bald Spots!
@marlee, she does seem less cracked out but that is because this judge and the whole legal system has been holding her hand and basically leading her step by step through this latest process. It’s when she has to make her own decisions and lets her family guide and influence her that the whole riot starts.
Her therapy is done. Her morgue community service is done. She is done with formal probation. And now she is probably done listening to sane instruction and advice. She is her own worst enemy.
ITA.she is starting to look like her old self,I really hope she pulls it together and gets a shot at a comeback. i enjoy everyone of her movies and she is a surprising high point of the lamest of her movies like labor pains or just my luck
She couldn’t look like her old self if she tried at this point – the face implants and inflatable lips. She’s now got the cheek profile of a Barbie doll, which was distorted on purpose because she’s a 12-inch doll.
The hair color looks immeasurably better however.
Those pants need an inch or two. No matter how expensive the clothes, she can’t help f)king it up and looking trashy. Like never wearing a bra. Can’t take the truck stop outta the hooker.
And her hair is DESTROYED. Everything but her last inch of roots is so over-processed it can’t hold color. And it’s muddy. The half (underneath) that is extensions looks better…but at what point does a person with that little natural hair left, and that much damage to it, finally GIVE IT UP and cut it off?
Have to agree.
Lohan should have wore flats. The hooker heels are too much, for that simple blue pant suit.
A pair of flats would have gave the whole outfit a nice clean simple look. Instead it looks all trashy.
Too much platform to go along with the no bra thing.
And changing her hair color has done wonders, by making her skin look healthy. Even if we all realize she is still knee deep in the crack.
Yeah, she looks like ass.
In other words, a book you can judge by it’s cover?
That suit is hideous and does no favours (in either colour or styling) and she’s going to f*ck up again before the end of the year.
I give her ’til September.
Have to be honest, I like the suit. Not saying LL wears it well, but the suit itself – I’d like it on me. I’d even accessorise with a good quality bra. I think that’s the main problem – a bra would have stopped that nasty button-waist-gathering issue she has.
I’m gonna say all 3, but she’ll flee on the international call girl tour first. After all she is the cracken and drama is part of her life.
Plus, summer is a-comin’ and there’s money to be made in the warm months! Those yachts need some ‘hos to keep their owners busy.
AND we’ve got Cannes and some European Balls to look forward to, don’t we?
Yeah, the international hooka thing is gonna happen. And soon, based on her latest hit & run.
Please let her go play with European balls and leave Canadian ones alone!! (Raises a cold Canadian beer to all the Cracktini ladies) cheers!
torontogal, I don’t wish her on you, believe me. I’d LOVE IT if she would go play with European balls and not come back. 🙂
thank you, judge and gross lips, for sending out a message of inspiration to us all: if you’re a white, rich celeb-you can get away with anything!
bullshit…if you are a RICH CELEBRITY…race doesn’t matter…ever hear of a guy named OJ Simpson?
oj was a beloved athlete everybody was in denial when that happened. some still are
anyway i guess you have a point (look at chris brown) but how is it fair when a rich celeb gets away with anything for committing things that the average joe would be condemned for.
If she makes it through the summer without getting caught (you KNOW she’ll do bad things), I’ll be stunned.
I actually think this is the best she’s looked in a long time. Not her best, obviously, and not good either…but really good for the way she’s been looking the last few years.
Ah, but summer is just beginning, she’ll screw up before it’s over.
You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.
My husband’s version of that saying is “you can’t polish a turd.” Yep, that’s Lindsay.
this hair color looks so much better on her than the blonde look she’s been sporting for the past few years.
Well… She has looked worse
*sigh*
I give it until July. Cracken drama always peaks around the summer. I still have hope for this hit-and-run case… it’s a brief and fleeting hope, but still there.
My feelings exactly. She may not even be worth the energy it would take to do an eyeroll at this point. This would be a whole lot more impressive if she had at least tried to stay out of the damn bars for 5 minutes. But no and now she has this latest (alleged…just being fair, we’ll see) hit and run case. She’s still a massive fool. She barely scraped by with this one and only because the judge broke it down for her into very simple steps (a basic life skill most people learn in high school). Now that she thinks she’s free and clear she’ll go off the cracky rails soon enough, heck Coachella is right around the corner. Sadly I think getting her act together and making a comeback are at least a year maybe two too late.
hell, she’ll be out drinking tonight..hopefully she’s smart enough to get a DD.. ah hahahahahahaha, I forgot who I was talking about, this girl’s dumber than a box of rocks..
Marie-more like an EMPTY box! lol
You’re so right-she’ll be out celebrating tonight looking for some poor unsuspecting nanny walking her baby in charge home who dare try and cross a street….
BRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Free Holley.
I think Sautner is a preener. She’s preening herself because she knew she fancied herself as the only one who would be able to effect this turnaround, and gosh darn, she did it!. She actually believes it is through her balanced wisdom that the crackie has straightened out, for real this time. Heh. Deluded and self-congratulatory, with recklessly low standards, not a good thing in a judge. IMO this was all about the judge, not the evil, narcissistic, depraved freak smirking in front of her. Lohan’s lawyer is a soulless freak too. When someone dies because of Lohan, their blood will be on the hands of these stalwarts for ‘justice’.
And hey, LInds. Call me if you ever become interesting. For me, this was not about you but about justice and protecting humanity from grotesques like you.
As I’ve said repeatedly, she will only face TRUE consequences when (not IF) she seriously hurts/kills someone, probably with a vehicle. (Because we ALL know she won’t end up hurting or killing herself.)
In her case, I don’t think even that would bring her around. She’d somehow justify it and make it someone else’s fault — as per usual.
I’m truly beginning to think she has some delusional complex, aided (thank you) by the judicial system of California and all the hangers-on who deliver her coke, and anyone who wants to make a buck off her train wreck status (SNL).
I feel (almost) guilty saying this, but if she ends up like Winehouse, I won’t feel bad. I still miss Amy, though… 🙁
Oh, Veruca, please don’t get me wrong; I don’t think that would bring Blohan around either. I just think it’s going to take that level of f*ck-up for her to actually be brought to a real-life-level of justice.
Or she’s going to have to screw up in another state, preferably one in the South or Midwest, where they don’t play around. (My apologies in advance to the South [keep her out of Alabama; my daughter lives there] and Midwest.)
And I agree about Amy. She’s an actual loss, whereas Blohan is just expected.
And if anyone believes that Blohan will listen to Judge Starstruck and “stop nightclubbing,” I have some ocean-front property in Montana (Oklahoma??) I’d like to sell you. It’s lovely!
Just want to slap those smug slug lips of hers right off her face. BUT…we all know she will be back to her old shenanigans in no time at all. She hasn’t learned a damn thing.
I give her until the end of summer. September.
She is easy to hate on for so many reasons, but she really is looking way better- her haircolour helps so much. It’s sad that she can never go back to how she was but at least she’s done (for now) with the over bleached hair and rotten teeth. :S
PS- can’t wait to see the pap shots tomorrow of her stumbling out of a club tonight 😉 PARTY TIME
Or on her knees, because the papps “tripped” her. (And “on her knees” is her natural state of being.)
Just like they “surrounded” her and MADE her hit that man & his car, then flee the scene (whilst trading places with her passenger).
I wish there was a “BITCH, PLEASE” big enough to cover this chick.
All of these comments and not 1 of them are addressing those gross painted on “Joan Crawford” eyebrows.
5 bucks says the Cracken was tweakin and over-plucked……(I know someone who did that….lol!)
Hey Kaiser,
I’ll add one more to your list.
While in Canada, will Lindsay will get busted for either… drinking, drugs, hookin’
*on knees, praying* Dear God, at least two of the three. 😉
Hey Ladies
I’d REALLY love to see her picked up for prostitution. That would put the kibosh on all those ‘fans’ who claim, ‘Blohan has money, why would she hook’? Of course, my next best would be for drugs, just so they could test her. It may be the only thing that would keep her (semi) clean for a while, apart from alcohol.
What’s going on with her left eye??
Wow Lindsay, you’re all proud and puffed up for being done with a probation that started in 2007? And now are STILL on probation for stealing that necklace?
Thank heavens for low expectations.
My b-day is Aug. 18, I think she’ll f**k up WAY before then. And I agree about the eyebrows and tweakin’. I knew somebody who did that, too. SHE STILL LOOKS LIKE SHE NEEDS A FRIKKIN’ BATH TO ME!! I just bet she stinks
She says: “Alriiiight, let’s hit the bars now to celebrate, shall we?”
It’s 1:40 in Cali as I type this, which means it’s early. I give her until tonight to screw up/create crack-drama.
Nooooooooooooooo!She got her visa to come work here!!! Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!
Don’t fret Ms. T. Only Camp Crack is saying that. According to the Lifetime website, (I’ve not been there, but others have) it appears the movie is in the early stages of being WRITTEN. Forget where it will filmed, who will be in it. Better question, who will finance a stinker with Blohan at the helm?
Calm down, BREATHE, have a double cracktini . . . or two.
Breathes slowly in and out of the paper bag….big breath in….big breath out. Pours ginormous glass of wine
Thank you Madisyn thank you very much.
Thanks Madisyn, should have known it was bullshit.
What happened to the Hot Guy Friday????? Pajiba is stealing it now!
And doing it RIIIIIGHT! ‘jiaba is the jam
Oh wow, her eyebrows DO look crazy. However, two things are unforgivable when going to court: failure to wear a bra and failure to brush your damn hair. Geez. That’s what I do with my hair to go to the gym.
It’s sad that any other Joe would of been locked up after all the stunts she pulled. Ah the power of celebrity.
That hair! I want to shave her head. Color is not too terrible but hair looks so dirty and destroyed.
And agree with fellow posters who said they’d like to smack that crack smirk off her face… you just know she hasn’t learned a single damn thing.
That pantsuit looks about two sizes too small.
She looks and seems better than in the past, but I just don’t see this playing out well for her given her track record in the past several years. I hope she does not become another Hollywood tragedy.
Is that what lady lawyers wear to court in LA? Put on a jacket or something!