A few days ago, we discussed whether or not George Clooney is banging Julian Assange’s hot lawyer, a woman named Amal Alamuddin. George and Amal were spotted out to dinner with each other in London last week, and considering Amal has a sort of Elisabetta Canalis-look, many of us assumed that George was trying something new. Of course, we knew in our heart of hearts that George would never go for a lady lawyer. She simply has too much going on in her own life. George likes his ladies C-list or below. Which is why I wasn’t surprised when shortly after Amal had been identified, George’s on-again/off-again hookup Monika Jakisic let Us Weekly know that SHE is the one banging Clooney.

So, it was getting complicated. Was George about to sign a contract with Monika, or was he exploring his options with other ladies, trying to vary his girlfriends this time around? Well, George wants us to know that he’s single. Huh.

Since regaining his eligible-bachelor status this past summer after splitting with Stacy Keibler, George Clooney has been linked to a series of single women. In the last month alone, reports have swirled of a relationship with Katie Holmes, a rekindled romance with Croatian model Monika Jakisic and a hot dinner date with London barrister Amal Alamuddin.

So is Clooney really this, well, busy?

“Three different stories in three weeks. I should be an athlete. But, no of course, it’s all made up,” the Gravity actor, 52, tells PEOPLE exclusively.

According to Clooney’s rep, Stan Rosenfield, the actor finally felt moved to put a stop to the gossip.

“George wants this Monika crap to stop. He wants Katie to get a break, and he wants Amal to be able to prosecute cases without being hassled because she had one dinner with George and four others … I even asked George if these [rumors] were true and he said he never comments on his private life, but in the interest of stopping the harassment of all three of these women, he felt he should.”

A source close to the actor says much of the same: “George is not dating, nor has he dated Monika in several years, nor is he dating Katie Holmes – he simply hugged her at a premiere – nor is he the new boyfriend of Amal, who he is working with on a [surveillance] satellite program over Syria.”

In other words, George is still a single guy.

[From People]

I never believed the Katie Holmes thing. That would be too bizarre for Clooney. I was hopeful for Amal to pan out and I rolled my eyes over the Monika thing. Monika is just his type – some C-list model/actress who could easily be at his beck and call if only he would just call. But I guess Clooney doesn’t want to start something right now. Interesting.

You know what just occurred to me? Clooney doesn’t NEED a girlfriend right now. He’s not going to be running an Oscar campaign this awards season. The Monuments Men got pushed back to February, and that was the film most people thought would be George’s big awards contender. So, George is going solo for the next few months because he can. Because he doesn’t need to do a new girlfriend rollout to campaign for an Oscar.

Alternate theory: he still looks like he’s having significant back problems. I do wonder what kind of pain he’s in and what sort of pain management program he’s doing.

Photos courtesy of WENN.