Calvin Harris brings out his thunder in new Armani ads: would you hit it?

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Should I just say what some of us are thinking? Good God, Taylor Swift got really lucky with this one. Emporio Armani released their latest print ads for their campaign starring Calvin Harris. He’s shilling for a wide range of Emporio Armani goods – underwear, clothes, watches, etc. Armani is cashing in on Calvin’s popularity as a producer/DJ (he’s the richest DJ in the world, I believe), plus it doesn’t hurt that Calvin actually looks like a model.

I’ve always found Calvin Harris attractive, sort of in spite of his makeover. Around the release of his 2012 album 18 Months, Calvin started going through a transition from awkwardly-indie club kid to the buff, metrosexual Scottish Thunder we see now. I tend to think he’s veered too far into the “metrosexual” thing and his stubble is just too overwrought. But yes, I would hit it. His body is gorgeous and you know he’s really tall, right? He’s like 6’5”. Swoon.

So, how smug is Taylor Swift right now? I would say “very to extremely.” Her nemesis Katy Perry is going through another breakup with John Mayer, and their on-and-off crap is just another reminder that no one should ever fight over John Mayer’s affections, nor should any woman stick around long enough to break up with John Mayer more than three times. Meanwhile, Swifty is bangin’ this Scottish Thunder. I’ll say it. I’m jealous.

Here’s a little something in case you need to see the thunder in motion.

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Ads courtesy of Armani.

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88 Responses to “Calvin Harris brings out his thunder in new Armani ads: would you hit it?”

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  1. Rainbow says:

    I don’t know. He looks…weird.
    Zero sex appeal. I guess he’s perfect for swifty because she’s cold too.

    • Aussie girl says:

      Yeah, I’m going to have to agree with u on both thoughts. Zero ping factor.

    • Ronda says:

      fully agree.

      which is so weird because both have everything to be super sexy. on paper but it does not translate into a reality.

      they are certainly not ugly but i feel they are like a sports star with a lot of talent that never makes it into the first team in terms of what they have to offer and the end result.

    • kibbles says:

      I was just about to type the same thing. I should like him. He’s attractive enough, but there is nothing sexy about him that gets me turned on. The same way I feel when I look at Taylor Swift. Even though she could be a runway model because she’s tall and skinny, she is so plain and vanilla. Nothing sexy about her that makes me want to be her in any way. She and Harris are perfect for each other.

      • AG-UK says:

        Exactly, I’d take Thom Yorke over him 🙂 He doesn’t ring my bell.

      • WinnieCoopersMom says:

        Neither one of them have that “grit,” for ex., David Beckham or Kate Moss, that brings the sexy. They look and are too clean, prim and proper. Super hot but vacant. We need something to be intrigued by, some gritty mystery..Calvin and Tay are both beautiful but do not have that.

    • Liberty says:

      Agreed. For me, he has what I call undeveloped head with pissy pursed plurp-lips.

      It’s like….an okay body, with something odd glued on top of the neck? I am wondering if it is this photo shoot, as he looked better in the color images of the two of them faffing around.

      Here, he looks like the new guy who is always sulky and thinks everyone else at work is stupid. Or, the guy who has to rotate your tires because his dad owns the place, and he moves slow, and most of the day he is eating Sour Patch Kids and staring out the window.

      Zing factor: zero.

      • Jonesy says:

        This is spot-on about Calvin…and the line about Sour Patch kids made me spit out my coffee with laughter. Thanks!

        I think he looks like the Captain of the S.S. Douche Canoe, and no — I would definitely not “hit it.”

    • Kasia says:

      Exactly, his body is fine, but his face reminds me of…I don’t know… an IT guy? or a German soccer player from the 2000s? Something’s off.

      • Momoftwo says:

        To me he looks like a slighty hotter blonde michael phelps

        But since he’s Scottish…That pushes him over the edge to hot category for me!

      • Liberty says:

        Kasia: LMAO , seriously, I thought of IT guy instantly too. The German soccer player of 2000s take makes me laugh, wow — seriously, who is it? Right?.

        momoftwo — like you, I go seriously skirts-up when it comes to Scottish men, yet ,this guy is totally not pinging for me even on that geo-stance, Nothing. Per this photo (because I am blaming the photo here in a way, he might as well be a soup packet in it), he is like… a dead Fitbit stuck on my wrist. I don’t get it.

    • bluhare says:

      Me too. Don’t get me wrong, he’s attractive enough I guess, but it looks studied. He’s only got one look too; Scottish pout. He’s an outgrown nerd and it shows. He has paid his dues in the gym, though!

      • Liberty says:

        bluhare: “outgrown nerd and it shows:” hahah oh god, how apt.

        His whole photo attitude, IMO, says, “I am just going to lay here reading PEOPLE while you try stuff, ladies. No one has succeeded yet, but, go ahead and try, I guess.”

        and

        “I guess I can come upstairs with you. I dunno. Do you know where I can buy a lotto ticket and some cat litter first?”

    • Pandy says:

      Yeah, not a big fan of his face.

    • zzzz says:

      it’s the dead eyes. perfect for tswift

    • Anna says:

      He looks weird and his neck is extremely long in these pictures

      • MelBelle says:

        I feel like, despite how muscly he is, he seems fussy and void of any masculinity whatsoever. It may be Tay Tay’s thing but it isn’t mine at all.

  2. LB says:

    No I would not hit it. There is something so plastic looking about him. Like he looked at a blonde Ken doll for inspiration and said, “I want to look like him.” Blech.

    Gimme dirty, imperfect hot like Tom Hardy or Colin Farrell over this any day.

  3. Zip says:

    Ugh. Briefs ruin everything.

  4. EEV says:

    Meh/yawn. Not my taste, but to each their own.

  5. tila says:

    No.

  6. Bridget says:

    Empirically he looks good, so why am I cringing when I look at the pics?

    • Size Does Matter says:

      Because the thought of him having sex with Taylor the perma-virgin princess sucked the hotness right out of him. Or maybe that’s just me.

      • Bridget says:

        Perhaps it’s the sheer amount of effort. That is not a man that just rolled out of bed and looked like that.

    • WinnieCoopersMom says:

      Bc he’s like a mannequin; overly-manicured mannequin.

    • Size Does Matter says:

      I like the pic best with the sunglasses. But his head doesn’t seem to go with his body.

  7. Kiddo says:

    His facial expressions made me snort. Or should I say his facial expression (singular) made me snort? He’s trying way too hard to craft ‘fierce’ and it is giving me the giggles.

    He has a swimmers body, which is nice, but the look on his face; sort of hilarious.

  8. boredblond says:

    He’s good looking, but looks uncomfortable in the ads (got the frozen face down though)

    • OrigialTessa says:

      My thoughts exactly. He is fine looking, and I’d probably be into him in a normal setting, but he’s a terrible model. He looks out of his element here. Modeling isn’t for everyone.

      • The Other Katherine says:

        Yep. Nice body, looks good in candids, but his “model face” is NOT working for me.

  9. shannon says:

    Not even with my car. Oh, boy. This ad is going to show up in a Taylor Swift ballad in quite possibly the near future.

    • Elisa the I. says:

      hahahaha.
      I agree, he looks kind of artificial in these pics.

    • Who ARE these people? says:

      What a great line! (Not even with my car.) Thanks for the levity. And no, he just looks like an overly groomed dork to me.

  10. Freddy Spaghetti says:

    I am actually jealous of Taylor Swift. I can’t believe I just typed that. (But, wow does he look hot!)

  11. Mispronounced Name Dropper says:

    Calvin Harris has reached “Would You Hit It?” status?

  12. Jane says:

    He pales in comparison to other models who showcase Armani.

  13. Syko says:

    No. He looks like a horse.

  14. Franca says:

    He was somewhat cute and interesting before the makeover. Now he’s not attractive ( to me) and looks so dull.

  15. GoodNamesAllTaken says:

    No, I wouldn’t even have opened the thread except “brings out his thunder” made my day.

  16. NGBoston says:

    x1000 what LB said and that guy just on here who played Jax on SOA.

  17. Juliet says:

    Eh. He looks like the male version of Taylor – there’s nothing sexy about either of them even though both are attractive. Bland.

  18. Elyse says:

    No, not at all. He look like someone who takes themselves too seriously, and that is not attractive to me.

  19. Ms. Turtle says:

    He’s gorgeous, she’s gorgeous. But neither of them have any sex appeal. I feel the same about Ryan Reynolds. Like, yeah, he’s handsome but does nothing for me. But yes, Taylor’s smug level just went out to the stratosphere.

    • WinnieCoopersMom says:

      Personal Op. – RR personality makes him hot. Have you seen ‘Just Friends?’ Yeah. Quirky-funny kind of hot. (Like Dax Shepard.)

      • kibbles says:

        Agreed. RR isn’t really my type either but he looks WAY better than Calvin Harris and has a lot more sex appeal.

  20. Dawn says:

    Nope, don’t think so.

  21. Kit says:

    He’s not cute, she’s not cute. Perfect couple.

  22. Sarah says:

    If we comparing Scots, I’d rather “hit it” with closer-to-my-age Peter Capaldi.
    #DrWhoForever

  23. Naddie says:

    No. Like it’s been said, he looks good, but… And it’s not like I dig scruffy guys, but this one is just an awkward, ungainly boy who grew up dreaming to be hot, that’s the vibe I get from him.

  24. Cara says:

    It’s like they photoshopped his head onto another body- kind of wrong looking and awkward.
    He just doesn’t have that sexy factor, but that’s probably what Taylor likes about him. 😜

    • Lama Bean says:

      Yesssss! I was just about to say that exact thing. I love swimmers bodies though….so maybe with a paper bag over his head….

  25. Micki says:

    I’d take the body if it’s the same to you Kaiser.
    You can keep the head.

  26. Lynnie says:

    Nah because I don’t have time for hit songs to be written about me from the ex damaging my reputation.

  27. Kristen says:

    This may make me sound old, but I wouldn’t know who this guy was if he didn’t date famous women.

  28. Ella says:

    Perfect body, zero sex appeal. In other words, male version of Taylor.

  29. Tiffany says:

    I don’t know why Taylor should feel smug. Calvin will do the same thing to her that Meyer did. She is not a special snowflake and she will get burned and there will nothing she can do about it.

    • Sarah says:

      Yes, there is something she can do about it. Same thing she always does – write a song about it where his “hidden” identity is crystal clear 🙂

      • Tiffany says:

        And he is not going to hover in a corner and come at her. He has equal footing in the industry, whether people want to believe it or not.

  30. morc says:

    Armani is trash and has always been

    Calvin Harris has zero sex appeal, he is cold oatmeal.
    Compare to Arthur Keller https://youtu.be/OgG2bHwAX1o
    and Aaron O’Connell https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eqs_z7BGFk

  31. Otaku Fairy says:

    Nice. And I thought the same thing: “Taylor Swift is a lucky woman.” I haven’t paid much attention to him before and only know him as the singer who broke up with Rita Ora and is dating Taylor.

  32. I Choose Me says:

    Eh. I just feel like the Swifty has found her perfect Ken doll. Don’t get me wrong, he does have an amazing body but he still rates zero on the sizzle meter for me. Maybe if I hear him speak.

    • kri says:

      Yep thats it.Boy Doll.And to be honest I like my Scots to be a little less polished.Rub some dirt on him and make him sweat.

  33. kri says:

    I see what Im seeing.I’m just not….feeling what I’m seeing.Does that make sense? Yeah props on the bod and all.But where is that smolder? NOT doing it for me.

  34. Corrie says:

    These pics are odd and funny. Maybe because he’s taking this so seriously or that he’s sitting there in his undies that are very brief but there’s 0 buzz or sex appeal here. He’s cute but not sexy.

  35. taxi says:

    Nope. Horsey face reminds me of Pablo Schreiber or Michael Phelps, which isn’t good.

  36. Ange says:

    Sorry but Captain Derpface can stay on the shelf.

  37. Leah says:

    No. Props to his personal trainer and nutritionist. But his face is not model material and he has zero sex appeal.

  38. J. says:

    Looks like he skips leg day.

  39. miasys says:

    I like my men tall, lanky and not overly muscular, yet fit. I should want to bang him like a screen door in a hurricane but can’t muster up any enthusiasm. There’s no spark. Not even a fizzle. He’s a male butterface.

  40. Seraphina says:

    I agree with the majority of the comments here: nice body and zero sex appeal. Give me Fassy any day and looking clean cut or rough and hung over. Fassy looks like he KNOWS how to give a woman a good time.

  41. Mandy says:

    I would most certainly hit it. Very hard and several times.

  42. phlyfiremama says:

    I wouldn’t so much “hit” it as I would slap at it half-heartedly!!