E! Online has excerpts from Bryan Cranston’s new memoir, A Life in Parts, and I have to wonder when he even had the time to write it, or to get help writing it. He’s just so prolific an actor and I keep picturing him in the bathtub writing on a typewriter and smoking like his character in Trumbo. Reviewers on Amazon rave about the book and say that it’s not a tell-all so much as a series of revealing vignettes. Judging by the details on E!, they do get revealing. Cranston muses about murdering an ex whom he calls a stalker, he admits he lost his virginity to a prostitute (he’s said this before but I would presume he gets into more detail) and he says that he has an agreement with his wife that they will go to therapy whenever one of them sees the need. He’s been married to his second wife, Robin Dearden, since 1989 so it must be working. I’ll just include a few of these here, and you can read more on E! or in his book!
Dreaming of Death and Murder: Before meeting and falling in love with his wife Robin Dearden, Bryan dated an ex-girlfriend named “Ava” who he alleges was a stalker. In the book, the actor recounted a gruesome daydream where he imagined taking out his anger on Ava by slamming “her head against the wall with a metronomic consistency. Clumps of hair and bits of skin and brain matter stuck to the brick.”
“I remained calm. I was released from fear and anger. I wasn’t glad or relieved or filled with satisfaction. I felt nothing. I let go of her and the body slid to the floor,” Bryan continued. (page 120)
The Power of Therapy: While he may have played the tough and macho Walter White on Breaking Bad, Bryan has no hesitations about going to therapy. After his dad was gone, his sister Amy suggested all the siblings go to a professional. “I see a therapist from time to time when I’m feeling edgy or anxious, and Robin and I have been to a couples’ therapist periodically,” he admitted. “We have an agreement. If either of us feels like going, the other can’t object. I suggested this system to her before we were even married, and it’s worked for us over the years.” (page 255)
Saying Goodbye to Bryan’s Virginity: During his first trip abroad, Bryan and his buddies found themselves determined to lose their virginity. While two of his friends had no hesitation about paying for sex, Bryan was a bit more hesitant. It also didn’t help that he barely had any money on him. But once a woman was standing over him, all bets were off. “In the room, she indicated I should take off my clothes. This was happening,” he wrote. “There’d been no fireworks. No tenderness. No talking. We never exchanged names. I’d had no idea what I was doing. It was just this stranger and me at the particular moment in time. As uncomplicated as it should be.” (page 47)
[A Life in Parts via E! Online]
Have you dreamed of murdering an ex? I have but I’ve never admitted it before. It just seems so dark, but Cranston isn’t afraid to go there. Is it horribly misogynistic for a man to describe murdering an ex girlfriend in graphic detail or is it ok because it’s just a fantasy? I’m thinking of Eminem’s lyrics and I’m honestly asking because part of me is aghast and the other part realizes I’ve had those thoughts too. Also, it sounds rather practical to have an agreement with your partner to go to therapy whenever one of you feels like you need it. Relationships are work and getting outside help to reconnect can only be a positive thing, especially if you’re imagining scenarios where your partner ends up dead.
I’ve never had dreams of murdering anybody so this seems very dark to me.
I will never understand why people have the need to share their deepest darkest secrets with the world. It’s not like he needs the money.
Well, I had a colleague at work who shared every personal detail with the whole firm (it was a small firm, 10-12 people), so I consider it to be a personal trait, not just a need for money.
I agree that it’s dark. I would say that anyone who has ever had thoughts about this sort of thing was in a dark place at the time. Maybe even desperate. It’s not pleasant. I think some people find things like this to be cathartic. He’s had a “colorful” life and maybe finds it helps him to deal with it by talking about it.
I think everyone at some point has thought about it. The fact that he put pen to paper and the realization that almost EVERYONE does it, even Bryan freaking Cranston might be what’s unsettling. Not that he thought it, but knowing that our creepy thoughts aren’t unique. I was in an abusive relationship and my ex stalked me for over a year and I can’t count how many times I dreamed about taking him out, just so the BS would be over.
I was in an abusive relationship in university, and was also stalked by my ex. I also daydreamed countless times of ways to get rid of him and my ideas were pretty gruesome and graphic. But I’m not that kind of person, and it doesn’t bother me to admit I had those thoughts. Pretty sure it’s normal. Not normal is acting on those thoughts.
Marguerita- I’m with you. In a mature discussion I’m comfortable admitting and even openly sharing it with others that have also dealt with feelings of extreme powerlessness. I’ve always looked at it as my mind’s way of getting the energy out of my system, to “balance the scales” (when I was young I thought life was supposed to be fair) and of using my thoughts to understand my feelings, however dark or grim. I’m a Good person with a gentle soul and at some point learned this was a defense mechanism that helped me to cope with my fear, anger and anxiety. In fact, it probably functioned as a way to NOT act out my inner pain.
As a general rule, I think it’s in the range of normal when the stability of you/your life or those you love are threatened. And I’m with you again in believing it becomes not normal the moment those thoughts become reality.
I don’t think that a man talking about fantasizing about murdering his ex is misogynistic because I think talking about it is probably regarded as socially unacceptable across the board. It would be different if men were held to a different standard on the issue, but this is an area where I believe most people would be happy to just feel uncomfortable talking about it and shut it down whether it was a man or a woman talking about it. I think this is probably one of those things that many people have thought about and a feeling most people have felt but don’t want to admit to.
I have to admit, I thought about it. Not about doing it, but about it happening. Who knows what normal is, honestly. It was an abusive relationship where he was only happy if he was manipulating my feelings, humiliating me, calling me names or creating unnecessary drama and problems just to exercise his power over me. Humiliatingly enough, I’m one of the few people who not only didn’t leave their abusive relationship but actually had my abuser leave me when he got tired of playing the game and it became too easy for him. When we broke up, for a long time I wished awful things on him, including death. That was the only time I ever felt that way, though. I have nothing but the warmest and fondest feelings for my other exes.
I really appreciate his honesty because it’s refreshing. We all know celebrities try their hardest to paint themselves in the most flattering light possible, which is human nature I guess, but it’s nice when people can not only admit their faults, but embrace them and share them. I read an interview with him not long ago where he talked about his childhood and a friend and I talked about how interesting his life seemed.
I have had a fantasy about poison ivy, which my ex is extremely allergic to. Like rubbing it on his undies. I recognized it for the evil thought that it was, and shared it with close friends, just to get it out of my system, rather than let it fester inside me. Any kind of hatred or violence hurts us, and I want to heal, not suffer more.
I totally agree with you! I ultimately came to the same conclusion. “Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.” — so true!
There are countless quotes from wise folks from thousands of years ago on this. Wish I had some handy.
At wedding showers, when asked to write anonymous tips for a successful marriage I always suggest therapy! Recently heard somewhere that new couples should think about having a professional (or a practice) chosen in case of a real emergency. We have all our doctors lined up, why not a therapist? Can’t tell you what it’s done for our family. Only wished we’d started a loooong time ago. 😕
Therapy gets such a bad wrap and I will never understand why. In 2016, one would figure that we would be past the stigma but so many aren’t and just refuse to let go of the negative associations.
Long way to go on the mental health front. I’m a Howard Stern listener and I’ve heard him and several celebrities say that it’s a luxury, obviously, that they couldn’t do without and how it’s a gift to the other people in their lives. So great.
I’m a poor on medicaid and see a wonderful woman who has helped me grow immensely.
Dreaming of murdering someone in this much detail is a sign that person shouldn’t be in your life. It’s one thing to dream about it in the abstract, but to work out how you could do it in such a dispassionate way is a RED flag for the relationship. Romantic or otherwise.
Heard of someone killing off a hated boss in a mystery novel. It happens.
My husband and I have the same deal about therapy, and we have pulled that ‘card’ 3-4 times in our ten years together and 6 years married. Therapy saved our relationship every single time. The fact that we agreed the other cannot balk at the idea means we get into counseling before things go too far, which is key.
Sounds like a proactive way to head things off at the pass (should anyone have the need).
I’ve totally fantasized about killing my ex, though. Not gonna lie.
He had an affair, lied about it, told me I was crazy and my issues with him were because I’m not very close to my father. A month later when his coworker confessed to me that it had been going on for months, he REFUSED to leave our apartment because “I was the one that was trying to break us up.” So I couch crashed a few weeks until I found a place of my own, with him stalking me and calling my job and my friends constantly.
Yep.
I’m not ashamed of having a daydream or two lol
I loooove Brian. I want to hang out with him or have a dinner at his house.