Over the past few weeks especially, it feels like celebrities have been toning down their petty squabbles and beefs. I believe that’s a trend for the year, actually: what’s happening in Washington right now sucks all of the air out of the celebrity-gossip room. Donald Trump is the most unhinged “celebrity” in the world, and so that’s what’s happening: politicians become fixtures of gossip columns, and I’m currently writing a story about two senators engaged in a petty boy-beef. Senator Al Franken has a new book out (Giant of the Senate) and he’s been promoting it by talking sh-t repeatedly about his senate colleague Ted Cruz. As you may remember, I have a massive hate-on for Ted Cruz, who could totally be the Zodiac Killer for all we know. He’s a smarmy, hateful POS. Sen. Franken has a lot to say about what it’s like working alongside Cruz.
There was once a time when Ted Cruz thought he could be President. It’s unclear why, since the nation was not about to elect someone whose full emotional range appeared to only consist of “sad” and “deeply uncomfortable.” And apparently likeability among the American people isn’t Cruz’s only problem – he’s reportedly also disliked by his Senate colleagues across both sides of the aisle.
Al Franken in particular has been having some fun mocking Cruz as of late: a full chapter of his new memoir, Al Franken, Giant of the Senate, is devoted to the subject, including the line, “I like Ted Cruz more than most of my colleagues like Ted Cruz, and I hate Ted Cruz.” In a CNN interview with Anderson Cooper, the Minnesota senator explained that Cruz is “kind of a toxic guy in an office, the guy who microwaves fish.” And during a Wednesday town hall session, he dropped a particularly tragic detail involving Cruz and the Senate’s Secret Santa.
“I’ve had people pick out Cruz’s name and then drop it on the floor. I’ve actually had that happen,” Franken claimed.
Cruz, for his part, responded to Franken’s recent comments with a petty tweet reading, “Covfefe? Hard to say, but I hear Al Franken’s new book is full of it ;)”
Franken is the one who started and organizes the Senate’s annual Secret Santa, and it’s a cute little human-interest story every year about people reaching across the aisle to give their Senate colleagues donuts, personal drawings and more. Senators who have deeply opposed views on everything will stop for a moment and enjoy some holiday cheer with one another. And those people still don’t want to have anything to do with Ted Cruz.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
The sheer pettiness of this nourishes my soul.
Al Franken’s last book was laugh really loud by yourself in the coffee shop like a crazy person funny – I can’t wait to read this one. His interview on Fresh Air the other day was great. And, oh yeah, Ted Cruz is the worst… well, next to worst… well… dang! There are just too many worsts at the moment: Ryan, McConnell, predator-in-chief, etc. such a long list.
Good to know, thank you! Headed to the library shortly after I finish David Sedaris’s new one, which also has me laughing out loud like a loon.
David Sedaris is SO DAMN FUNNY. his books are, indeed, laugh out loud funny.
Okay, how cute is it that Al Franken has started a tradition of Secret Santa in the Senate?
Well, his dad did kill JFK, so I get the hate. 😉
That’s right! Trump said the National Enquirer had proof
Ted Cruz is about as pleasant as a Pap smear. Maybe it’s because I’m a Canadian, but I don’t understand who his base voter group is, if he truly is so disliked, even among Republicans?
People who watched The Handmaid’s Tale and thought it had some pretty good suggestions about how to run a country.
His base voter group is Tea Party Republicans, at least the ones from my neck of the woods who backed him in the primary. They were never Trumpers until they had no choice but to back him even after denouncing him. Awful people, so it makes sense to me that they’d like someone so awful. Birds of a feather.
Texas. They should be allowed to succeed (except for Austin).
Secede. And Houston, San Antonio, El Paso, and Dallas aren’t so bad. We all voted for Hillary in 2016. Our state is red in part because our congressional districts have been gerrymandered to hell. Every democratic vote is watered down by 5 republican votes. You should see the shape of our districts, it’s absurd.
Here’s a link to a slideshow of our districts, if you’re interested: http://m.chron.com/news/politics/texas/article/This-is-how-badly-Republicans-have-gerrymandered-6246509.php#photo-7107656
The gymnastics around Houston and Dallas are insane.
I design/build websites for a living. We had a guy who ran a business in Texas tell us “I know it’s tacky, and you’re going to hate it, but I need the site to be full on patriotic, red white and blue. I can’t run a business in Texas and not go full America if I want to keep customers” so I STILL don’t understand how the so willingly accepted Ted. He must have put on quite a show to get them on his side.
*secede
Autocorrect (and newborn lack of sleep) is (are) my nemesis. And that slideshow is terrifying – thanks for sharing.
But pap smears have a use!
I wouldn’t say Republicans as whole hate him – just the ones who for some unfortunate reason had to meet him (especially ones that had extended interaction) really hate his guts. He grossed out the other lawyers in his firm to the point they could not fill his office when he left. He was also the one lawyer from the Bush v Gore team not to get some kind of federal job offer from Bush. He is somehow much worse in person.
Uh – didn’t Lindsay Graham famously say something like, if someone killed Ted Cruz on the Senate floor, no one would give his body a second glance, or call the cops, or testify against the killer? Sorry, did not Google it, but it’s something along those lines.
Cruz is universally hated in the Senate, by everyone. It’s something all senators can agree on.
I don’t get it either. I do see where he gets voters, certain people would vote for anything if it was anti-abortion and talked about God enough. What I don’t get is how he ever got in a position to be voted for.
Absolutely everyone seems to despise the guy, in every way. No one wants to be around him. To get where he is you have to do a lot of networking, but I don’t see how he managed it. There’s lot’s of awful people in politics, but they all have SOMETHING going for them. If they’re not liked at all, they’re respected or feared or valuable in some way. But Cruz is just universally loathed, and everyone reacts to him like he’s radioactive. It’s baffling.
As revolting as Cruz is, everyone who has met him says he is really really smart. I believe the common theme is he’s scary smart and a f–king a–hole.
I know people that worked in the same law office as Cruz in Texas, and they all HATED him. Apparently no one wanted to inherit his office after he left he was that disliked. They were all mystified that he ran for Congress and won.
It makes you wonder what gross things he was up to in the office. Ugh!
He was hated that much?
I’d go through an extra pap smear over sitting in the same room with Ted Cruz any day. I actually like my gynecologist.
Who wants to give a donut to a zodiac killer whose dad killed JFK?
I didn’t know about the senate Secret Santa tradition, that adds a dimension of humanity I feel like I’ve lost sight of lately. Although I can’t imagine a Republican suggesting it, lol.
I despise Cruz but I have to admit I thought his tweet was pretty funny. I hate myself for that.
I love Senate gossip because I can whip it out whenever people try to say women are dramatic. Trust me ladies, we have nothing on these wrinkly white men.
Lindsey Graham throws more shade than a 100 year old oak tree.
Ted Cruz – proof that not all Canadian’s are sitting around apologizing for potentially causing a minor inconvenience to someone. God, I hate him. I’m not super sorry that he’s not living up here though.
I’d STILL love to know why they lost their ever loving shit over the birther stuff, but Ted Cruz was born in Calgary to a father who was in the US seeking political asylum and who only became a naturalized US citizen in 2005 – and Teddy only renounced his Canadian citizenship in 2014 – and could still run for president. Oh right – Ted Cruz is a wealthy white republican dude.
He must have had dual citizenship (his mother was a US citizen, so he could have been born on the moon and it wouldn’t matter). So it makes sense that he wouldn’t bother to ditch it until he was going to run for President. Dual Canadian/US citizenship is pretty common.
Yeah, but that’s not really the point Erinn was making is it? Obama could have had dual citizenship too but it DID matter for one -fairly- obvious reason.
Awww. Heck, I’d be his secret Santa. Who knew Senators could be so mean?
One of my many problems with Cruise is that every day he makes a mockery of the great institutions where he was educated. He uses his education to twist the basic principles that make our country what it is [was?!?!]
Will be getting the Franken book asap!
These stories about Cruz go all the way back to high school. It is like, he goes out his way to be the most vile person in the room.
I know that there is not always harmony in the workplace, but damn, to just go out of your way to be downright unpleasant in every aspect of your professional life for most of your life, what is wrong with this man.
It is pretty funny. But think if you were his secret santa. You good give him some pretty good sh$!. A giant dildo? Box of tampons. Or my favorite new find, a website called http://www.shipadick.com. You can literally send someone a box of little cardboard penises.
I think a flaming bag of dog poo outside his senate office would be good, too.
Along with some rotten eggs
If I’m reading this correctly everyone hates TC because he’s a socially inept sad sack. But… is being a sad, uncomfortable, socially inept person really that bad? Those things don’t make him a bad person. His politics do! in my opinion but other hard conservatives don’t seem to like him either.
I used to work with a person who was as repugnant and universally despised as Ted Cruz. He was socially inept yet very full of himself because unlike Cruz he was quite handsome. At first I felt sorry for him because everyone so obviously hated him and I’d try being nice but it always came back to bite me. After a few incidents I came to believe that he was actually a sociopath and it would not surprise me to find out that Cruz has the same personality defect.
Not even for the chance to give him a ‘Season’s Greetings’ card with the gift?