I know some/many people have issues with Sam Smith for his music and his whole “blue-eyed soul” deal, but I’ve always liked him and enjoyed him. He seems real to me – sort of messy, prone to misspeaking in public, a little bit silly and lovely and sensitive. He’s had a few minor f–kups and he’s always given thorough apologies afterwards too. One of the things he’s talked about ever since he became famous is body image, his own struggles with weight gain and his own body dysmorphia issues too. Just in the years that he’s been famous, his weight has fluctuated wildly, and frankly, that’s super-relatable. For Sam though, it’s been a lifelong struggle. He sat down for an interview on Jameela Jamil’s new Instagram series I Weigh, and he spoke about his struggles and his sexuality and gender. Some highlights:
On his body image struggles: “I haven’t really found many men talking about this. Especially well-known men… Even doing this chat feels kind of weird, because guys don’t speak about this that much on a big scale.” Smith began by talking about how his struggle with body image began “from since I can remember, like since I was a baby.” As a child, Smith revealed that he was “chubby” and “carried extra estrogen” in his chest, making him self-conscious to wear a bathing suit and opening him up to bullying, including when a classmate grabbed his chest “on the playground in front of all of his friends. I had breasts. I used to get my mom to write a note to the school when I was like 8 so I wouldn’t have to go to swimming lessons. So it’s something that’s been in me forever.”
He had liposuction at the age of 12: “When I was a kid, I was chubby … and then it would get worse and worse and worse and I was holding a lot of weight in my chest. When I hit 11 years old, I went to the doctor’s. I was so self-conscious that it was affecting my mood every day. I had liposuction, I was 12 years old. At the time I think I was very happy about it. It didn’t really change anything. I think I put the weight back on in two weeks because I hadn’t figured out my relationship with food, so it didn’t really change anything. But being 12 years old and having liposuction on your chest is quite a big deal.”
He’s just been sad about his body all his life: “It’s the basis of all my sadness. Literally everything I’ve ever been sad about is my weight. I struggle with it every day. I get very, very dark and very sad.”
On his gender: “I am not male or female. I think I float somewhere in between. I’ve always been very free in terms of thinking about sexuality, so I’ve just tried to change that into my thoughts on gender as well…. Non-binary/genderqueer is that you do not identify in a gender. You are a mixture of all different things. You are your own special creation.”
On the possibility of a sex change: While individuals identifying as non-binary can sometimes prefer the pronoun “they” in place of “he” or “she,” Smith noted he will continue to use male pronouns for the time being. “I’ve sometimes sat and questioned, do I want a sex change? It’s something I still think about: ‘Do I want to?’ I don’t think it is. When I saw the word non-binary, genderqueer, and I read into it, and I heard these people speaking, I was like, ‘F–k, that is me.’”
[From People & Vanity Fair]
I found it interesting that he talked about carrying “extra estrogen” as an explanation for his weight struggles as a kid and he doesn’t bring it up when talking about gender. I think it’s likely all connected, and that Sam has a different kind of hormonal balance (or imbalance) than the majority of cisgendered men. Anyway, I respect Sam so much for talking about these issues in public and doing his part to reduce the stigmas. Liposuction at 12… that’s such a big deal, and his parents must have been so concerned about their son’s depression and body image already. It makes me want to have a good cry with Sam, honestly.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
So sad that a 12 year old felt this way.
I was 10 1/2 when I got my first period, and at that age, you have NO REAL IDEA of the changes your body is going through, what all your hormonal mood swings mean. (My mom had had “the talk” with me, but still, you’re a KID at 10! It doesn’t *quite* resonate). I went straight from wearing an undershirt, to a regular bra (and have always been “chesty”). My girls didn’t need to be “trained”, then apparently knew what to do! I HATED having to change for gym; I always tried to do so in the curtained off cubicles that were reserved for girls that had their periods, or in the toilet stalls (small and hard to maneuver in, but I was SO embarrassed to get undressed in front of the other girls who weren’t developing so young).
It’s pretty traumatic for a young kid to develop before the rest of her/his peers. I know I was mortified to have my chest at 10 1/2-11 yrs. old. I can imagine how traumatizing it is for a boy to, as well.
Same here – I developed very early and it was mortifying. I remember begging my mother to buy me a bra and deodorant because I clearly needed both and she was in denial that I was that far along in puberty in elementary school.
Body image issues are so frustrating…sigh.
One of nature’s cruelest tricks is that “women” begin menstruating (and thus vulnerable to pregnancy) when they are still mentally and emotionally children.
Devon, the same with me. First bra at 10, first period at 11. That was a really difficult time for me–panic attacks, anorexia, fainting, the works.
I had the first period at 10, bra didn’t come along until I was 15 or so. My mom on the other hand was a DD in grade 3. Awesome. She finished out at an F cup by age 14. I didn’t get that but my daughter sure did. DD on a wee human frame. It’s sad to heard about how cruel people are about it. Apparently if you grow boobs while young, you’re a s^^t in the making. Logic right there……
I got teased about my period, unfortunately it was bad enough from day 1 to soak through pads quickly and I wasn’t always able to keep up and had stained jeans more than once.
Man, I do not miss that crap, I gotta tell ya.
He’s a brave guy to open up so deeply to the public about his personal demons. I wish the best for him.
Overweight boys and men have extra estrogen because the adipose tissue produces it and that in turn leads to man boobs. That’s also why overweight girls kickstart puberty early and have menstrual issues.
As for hormones changing your sex or gender, they don’t. I have elevated androgen levels like many women with and without PCOS do and we are all still no less “cis women”.
Thanks for stating this!! I didn’t have the specifics to back it up but was certain it was incorrect as stated.
Go read the article at The Guardian called “Stop Talking About Testosterone”, it’s so so good! There are no “male” and “female” hormones. Men and women have both. In some animals (roosters) it is estrogen that gives the males their “masculine” characteristics. Testosterone is also crucial for many bodily functions such as bone development and heart function that have absolutely nothing to do with sexual development.
@Haapa
Yes, men and women each have testosterone/estrogen. However, we know that men and women need different levels of these hormones to function and there are, in fact, “male and female” hormone levels. A woman with severe PCOS still does not have typical male levels of testosterone.
That article was disingenuous and misleading. Also, humans are not roosters (or clownfish) so it doesn’t make sense to compare how estrogen works in male roosters to how it functions in male humans.
Was gonna put in my Google University-issued endocrinologist hat to say exactly this.
Gender and race are social constructs, and trying to make them biological realities has the eventual effect of pathologizing those who exist outside arbitrary norms. Not saying that Kaiser is pathologizing anything, but thinking more about the movement to allow intersex infants, children, and young people more bodily autonomy and require their informed consent to perform any surgical intervention because it is still a medical standard to attempt to “correct” the appearance/function of the genitalia and sex-related organs of intersex children in order to “normalize” their appearance and thus silo them into the pink or the blue. The adherence to a medical model that says that people *have to* be on the binary in order to be healthy and functional places cosmetic appearance over actual health and functionality. And speculation about why someone identifies as genderqueer or non-binary unintentionally reinforces the supporting concepts of the gender binary by valuing physical characteristics (like hormone levels or appearance) over self-awareness, self-identification, and mental and physical health.
Really great info over here for those who are interested: https://www.opensocietyfoundations.org/voices/growing-movement-intersex-rights
Please, we need to stop conflating gender and sex. Yes, gendered expectations are social constructs. As is the idea of race.
But humans do fall into a sex binary (generally) of male/female. People with Disorders of Sexual Development (or intersex disorders) have asked not to be used as debate material when discussing trans identities. The two issues can overlap, but they are not the same, and that should be respected.
I wasn’t labeling Intersex people as Trans people. I was referring to the unnecessary assignation of those who fall outside the binary as “disordered,” which can happen for any reason someone chooses to self-identify as non-binary. I think that speculation about Smith’s hormone levels isn’t necessary or particularly helpful for the conversation about his gender or lack of gender. In fact, he was talking about his weight and body image when he spoke about his gynocomastia, and we readers conflated the two. And, again, the author of this piece may not have meant to pathologize his gender identity, but it happens when we try to link two things that aren’t necessarily linked. Boys/men can have large breasts, just like girls/women can have no fatty chest tissue, and non-binary people can have either or none. Breast size and estrogen levels don’t determine sex or gender identity, for anyone on the spectrum.
And for the record, the World Health Organization uses the term “Intersex” to avoid doing what you did in your reply to me, which is claiming that not being binary — for any reason — is a disorder of “typical” human functioning. There is nothing except societal expectation that indicates that there is a binary instead of a diverse sex spectrum, and we have inherited misleading medical models created in eras where the majority of the scientific and medical communities were very interested in preserving some oppressive *social* ideas about gender.
As for your point about people wishing to be held apart from a conversation that isn’t about them: That’s actually valid. I was trying to make a larger point about how the ways we use language and ideas can be problematic for reasons that don’t automatically occur to us when we talk about things that aren’t our lived experience, but in doing so *I did it too* because it’s just that easy. And I don’t think Sam Smith came out as Trans in this article, either. He’s currently non-binary and his estrogen levels don’t have anything to do with it.
I guess I misunderstood your point, so thank you for clarifying. I was not attacking you, just pointing out a conflation I see often that I thought you were making. Nor was I trying to imply that any child should be surgically “corrected”. It’s a horrific practice that should not be legal.
Again, sorry I misunderstood, and thanks for your clarification.
No worries, and thank you for clarifying your position as well. I could be clearer in my delivery, as is evident in both of my responses. And I didn’t feel attacked, though I did bristle at the term “disorder of sexual development.”
I have learnt so much from your exchange/discussion! thanks for educating, r grateful 😗🤗
If men get overweight their estrogen increases as it is stored in fat. That is why fat men often have boobs.
Also, one side-effect of smoking pot is man-boobs. Sexy…
My husband smokes weed on a daily basis and no hint of man boobs…lol…what do you base that on
Thank you. My husband is 54 and has smoked/vaped/consumed weed as edibles daily since he was 15. And even at 54 he is svelte, fit, athletic, healthy, and no hint on manboobs. He’s ridiculously good looking (think older Brac Pitt with long hair and minus the boozy & douchebag aspects). The assertion that pot use means manboobs is completely ignorant and outdated.
Gynecomastia is not caused by marijuana use. Marijuana causes “the munchies” which causes some people to gain weight. Please calm your reefer madness. Correlation is not causation.
What he says about weight being the root of his sadness is completely relatable. I’ve been hyper aware of weight from the time I have memories. Sadness is a perfect descriptor for the mindset it creates. That and my hair have taken up so much emotional space. I shaved my head a couple of years ago and haven’t looked back. Nobody seems to get it, but it was like a massive burden was lifted when it wasn’t there to stress about anymore. Doesn’t solve the weight-obsessive issue, as there’s no similar quick fix for healing the way I think of the rest of my body. I appreciate his putting this into words, though. I hope he continues his search for some balance.
Here to commiserate, and offer support and total admiration for your ability to commit to any and all decisions that cut self-inflicted stress out of your life. I feel like weight, hair, and “youth” are the three things I obsess about every day, and though I know we’re not at all alone, it can feel so isolating. You are awesome. I hope we’re all able to find balance and self-acceptance.
I have alopecia and been so tempted to shave my head on bad days. Unfortunately, I’d probably draw worse attention (being female, caucasian and working in a non-artsy field). May we all find balance in times of stress and darkness.
While I didn’t shave my head, I’ve been maintaining a pixie cut for the longest time due to extreme thinning of my hair that happened in my ’40s. It works for me. And I’ve never been interested in wigs.
This also makes me want to have a good cry with him. He seems like such a sweet soul.
I had a male friend in high school get breast reduction surgery. He was overweight and so self conscious of his breasts. I remember him being happy with the results, although I thought his body looked somehow disproportionate with the flat-as-a-board chest afterwards. He ended up losing a lot of weight in college but gained it back. For him, it was key to his “manhood” to not have breasts.
We pretty much never saw eye to eye about politics but he’s a full on MAGAt now. I stopped speaking to him pre-Trump when he would rant about Obama and “Killary.” He might be one of the rarer Gen Xers who got sucked into Faux News.
Stealing other people’s music and passing it off as your own is not a “minor” f*ckup.
I did not expect to read “Literally everything I’ve ever been sad about is my weight” because “literally” is so definitive. I feel for his struggle and his sadness, but if that is the only root of unhappiness in his life I’d say he’s pretty lucky.
As someone who struggles with my weight and shame about my wieght, I can relate to what he’s saying. It’s sad to hear that he has struggled so long and even underwent surgical procedures at at a young age to try to fix it.
It’s interesting to read Sam seems to think he’s sad bc he struggles with his weight, while I have come to believe I struggle with my weight bc l’m sad.
Everyone is different, but eating disorders are often the symptom of deeper issues.
I hope Sam gets the help he needs.
It’s a real condition called “gynecomastia”, and it’s really hard on the self-esteem of young boys and men.