Gabrielle Union gets shamed for Kaavia’s natural hair: ‘She is a year and a half’


Gabrielle Union is speaking out again about self-love. Specifically, teaching her daughter Kaavia, 20 months, and step-daughter Zaya, 13, about loving themselves and by extension having pride in everything “afrocentric” about their hair and features.

This is not surprising as Union has been vocal about the struggles that black actresses experience due to lack of black hairstylists and makeup artists on set. She also recently opened up about her struggle with hairloss after IVF treatments.

Promoting her haircare brand, Flawless by Gabrielle Union, Union says she wants her daughters to be focused more on healthy hair and hair as self-expression versus how hair SHOULD look. She states that growing up as the only black girl in her school, she felt othered because no one had hair like hers. This led her on a years-long journey to hair acceptance.

ā€œYour hair is a part of you and it’s an extension of you, but it has to start with self-love and pride in your Blackness and Afrocentric features, whether that be your hair, your nose, your lips or your body,ā€ Union says.

Union adds that she and husband Dwyane Wade ā€œare constantly reaffirming our kids, especially now, when there are so many external forces that are anti-Black. It is always pride and live your best life and live your best Black life. And let your curls do what they do.ā€

Unionā€™s also brushing off the haters on social media who make disparaging remarks about her toddlerā€™s hair.

ā€œI’ll see comments and people are like, ā€˜Why is her hair never done?ā€™ And I’m like, ā€˜She is a year and a half.ā€™ I don’t want to give her a complex about what is an acceptable style.ā€

Union is determined to let Kaavia and Zaya be the decision-makers when it comes to their hair.

ā€œSome days Kav will hand you her brush and she’ll want a little afro puff. And some days she just wants to wake up and go,” Union says. ā€œAnd Zaya went from pink hair to blonde. If you want to switch it up every day, great. What you do with your hair is your own personal choice. For me, the focus is on healthy hair, not on what you do with it.ā€

Her hope: that ā€œmore folks are going to lean into really celebrating how we are, naturally, because it’s all dope and amazing and beautiful and there’s no one right way or wrong way to exist.ā€

[From People]

It comes as no surprise that Gabrielle is taking this tack in raising her daughters. I believe that encouraging young girls to love their natural selves makes them formidable voices in the world. When the focus becomes more about inner strength and self-love it translates into outer beauty and pride.

As far as mom-shaming women for not “combing” their black daughters’ hair, let it be. Children rough house and play, which makes doing their hair every day a fruitless and tedious task that both mother and daughter will grow to hate. Teaching them to love their hair no matter what removes the need for perfection and is indeed the very definition of “hair love.”

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100 Responses to “Gabrielle Union gets shamed for Kaavia’s natural hair: ‘She is a year and a half’”

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  1. carnivalbaby says:

    All black daughters (including me) have one or many stories about your Mom or someone attempting to comb and subdue your hair into some acceptable style. I follow Union on Insta and never actually gave a thought to that Kaavia’s hair, a child who looks so blessedly happy. So I rebuke all the hair criticizers – let the child and Gabby live, she will have enough hair drama once she turns 5 once the thickness of her curls kicks in.

    • Noki says:

      I follow alot of these blogs on Insta (shaderoom,hollywood unlocked etc) and it be our own people criticising our hair the most. I remember how BET got in trouble teasing Blue Ivys hair.

    • teehee says:

      I seriously don’t see what there is to criticize??? Looks totally fine to me!? Like any toddler, wtf– some people seriously have no position to be criticizing things they have zero clue about. Go look at any young kid, their hair is all over the place no matter how often you brush it LOL

      And yeah – raise your hand if you loved getting squished between moms knees for her to pull knots out of your hair. Nobody liked that …

      • Amy Too says:

        The only reason I do a kidā€™s hair is to get it out of their face so they can see and so it doesnā€™t get peanut butter and jelly in it when theyā€™re eating. Her hair is short and clean and out of her face. Anything beyond that becomes more about ā€œdressing up,ā€ and why would you need to be all dressed up and accessorized to sit at home in your onesie?

      • minx says:

        Exactly. My avatar is my daughter when she was 2. She took a scissors and ā€œcutā€ her bangs (butchered actually). Cut it so short she had a v shape at her hairline. She always had wispy straight hair, I never fussed over it much until she was older because she HATED having her hair combed. HATED it.

      • liz says:

        Mine was nearly egg bald until she was 3. It was so much easier to deal with the peach fuzz on her head. Once it grew in, it was a nightmare, so it was cut short and kept short. My mother had fits over it – “she looks like a boy.” My response was “it means I’m not fighting with her three times a day over getting the knots out.” She’s now 16 and still has short hair – this week it’s also blue.

        Kaavia is a gorgeous child. Her parents are letting her be a child and letting her be her own person. Every kid should have parents as loving and supportive as Gabrielle Union and Dwane Wade.

      • Carol says:

        There is nothing but adorableness about this little girl. She is so cute. How could anyone not just see the joy, beauty and sweetness in this little one is beyond me. People are stupid

      • Carol says:

        There is nothing but adorableness about this little girl. She is so cute. How could anyone not just see the joy, beauty and sweetness in this little one is beyond me. People are stupid

      • Itsme says:

        …raises hand.

    • yinyang says:

      I know in Africa, particulary the muslim countries, a lot of the girl school kids buzz cut their hair to help them focus on school and no upkeep. I love that, all you see is their beautiful faces!

    • Girl_ninja says:

      Amen! šŸ™šŸ¾

    • minx says:

      Who could criticize those girls!? Theyā€™re gorgeous. People need to mind their own business.

  2. JanetDR says:

    OMG what an adorable little girl! Her hair looks fine to me.

    • LahdidahBaby says:

      Isn’t she? And she’s perfect the way she is.

    • Phat girl says:

      That baby’s name should have been personality! Her facial expressions alone say so much. And, I love her hair-it suits her beautifully!

    • whatWHAT? says:

      she really really is. and SO expressive. I love seeing her pics on Instagram. and let the child be! Black or white, kids’ hair gets messed up as they play. it doesn’t have to be “done” all the time, esp NOW when most folks are staying at home anyway.

      I really like Gab Union. I like how she’s not afraid to speak out on injustices, however small some folks think those injustices are. and I love how she loves her bonus daughter so much, and I love how she and Dwayne are so supportive of their kids and each other. dare I say I kinda stan this fam?

    • Agirlandherdog says:

      I know! She makes me so happy! Lord, those expressions…

    • pamspam says:

      Right?? I am smitten with this kid – so cute!!

  3. tempest prognosticator says:

    What an adorable child!

  4. Exactly says:

    I love how great of a mommy Gabrielle isšŸ˜ā™„ļø. It is beyond obvious she was meant to be one and she fought hard to become one. Thank you for sharing that last video. Just made my morning THAT MUCH BETTERā™„ļøā™„ļø. Her love for her daughter reminded me of my momā€™s love.

  5. Lightpurple says:

    When I was Kaaviaā€™s age, I had no hair. Sheā€™s a BABY! Leave her hair alone.

  6. Snazzy says:

    That child is adorable, and her hair is perfect

  7. Priscila says:

    I see nothing wrong with this adorable childĀ“s hair. Growing up in Brasil, I know what is like to have textured hair and getting shamed for it. The urge is always to tame the hair rather than let it be. I cut most of my hair now and I am having it grown naturally and it has been very difficult to do the hair care routine because textured hair needs a lot of attention when it comes to moisture and styling. I frankly only straightened it because it was a once a week effort, but with natural hair you must apply a gel or oil every single day…

    But it does look good. I am thinking about braiding, but not sure. Anyway, the girl is cute, her hair is fine.

  8. Sonja says:

    People are exhausting. Iā€™m not American so havenā€™t ever really understood the comments about natural black hair. I have 4 kids and at various stages of their lives their hair has been horrible. Messy, knotty and depending on what they did that day even smelly. People policing other peopleā€™s kids hair? God Iā€™m so done with everything these days.

    • Scollins says:

      +1

    • SKE says:

      Sonja I don’t get your comment about criticizing natural hair being an American phenomenon. It’s a problem for the entire African diaspora- a commenter above said she experienced hair shaming in Brazil and Chimimanda Ngozi Adichie writes about it in her work when talking about growing up in Africa. Someone please correct me if I’m wrong but I think it’s been black US activists who have been trailblazers in promoting acceptance of natural black hair texture.

      • Priscila says:

        Black americans have been in the upfront yes, but tbh I think she was referring to the “commenting on natural hair” as an american thing. I read it once that american black single mothers were using hair care as a way of expressing their value as mothers and they even had competitions? Apparently there is a lot of shaming in the community about “not” caring for the hair properly? For what I understand, they are also far from united on this. Oprah hairstylist, who came up with the classification of natural hair, openly states 4C hair must be relaxed, so maybe there is also a generational thing going on. Gabrielle seems to be very open minded and I also know a lot of black americans do not appreciate her for this.

        Anyway, love Gaby and her daughter is a cutie!

      • Deedee says:

        I donā€™t think it is fair to say that Afro an American woman have been the trailblazers of natural hair. I am an African woman. I shaved my head in 2008 and have been wearing it natural ever since. It wasnā€™t because I saw someone else do it. I just wanted a change… I didnā€™t start a blog or YouTube channel about it and because I live in the US ppl could easily mistake me to be AA.

        I have been noticing a lot of comments from the African American community towards Africans. African Americans have been pioneers in many things but I feel that it may stem from the need for black people to say ā€œI am not THATĀ  type of black person.Ā ā€ So many people know very little about Africa and it is a shame. African culture, music, style has influenced the entire world but it is rarely given credit.

        There is a conversation to be had about African American legacy for sure but there is also a conversation to be had about African legacy as well (as much as some white people in power would like us to believe it is just a poor continent with nothing to offer.) Which is the furthest thing from the The African Diaspora has influenced the works in various ways and we need to understand that we should not disparage each other in order to stand out. I cannot tell you how many times I google a black person who is naturalized in another country to find a kind of erasure if their country of origin. I am naturalized myself and I like to say that I am Senegalese American. You hear Italian, Irish.. American all the time. But when it comes to African countries the same cannot be said even though we also influence culture on the continent and abroad a great deal.

        This is a very broad conversation… Hair, colorism, class, religion… A conversation about what it means to be black, to be African American, Afro Latino, African etc without losing our sense of support for each other.

        Sorry for the rant…

      • Sonja says:

        My comment was because this is an American site commenting on American posts. I wasnā€™t aware that this was even a bigger issue in black communities or outside America so am grateful to learn. I guess also most social media where I am in out of the US so these would be what I see.

      • Priscila says:

        @Deedee In terms of visibility, I would say african americans are a pretty vocal minority that for sure has a lot of influence- it does not mean others group are not doing their own thing. But it is true that african diaspora means different things for different people- Africa included.

      • A.Key says:

        To be honest, I’m not American either and I only ever heard criticisms revolving around black people’s hair from Americans. Maybe it’s just not talked about in other places, I don’t know, maybe it’s something that’s culturally related to the American experience, I don’t know that either. Not saying racism doesn’t exist all over the world, of course it does, just saying that all this talk about black hair in particular mostly always comes from the USA.

    • whatWHAT? says:

      “and depending on what they did that day even smelly.”

      OMG, thank you for that. Gave me a good laugh. it’s funny because it’s true!

  9. Joanna says:

    I love seeing the love between Gabby and Kaavia. None of our business how Kaavia’s hair is done

  10. JJ McClay says:

    What a ridiculously cute baby. She is adorable.

    I *could* say that her hair looks great (it does) and is totally normal for a toddler (it is), but thatā€™s not the point. Criticising a black childā€™s hair in that way is racist. Plain and simple. RACIST. I love Gabrielleā€™s approach and how she handles it.

    If anyone is interested, ā€˜Don’t Touch My Hair!ā€™ by Sharee Miller is a great picture book that teaches kids about the importance of asking people before touching their hair. Iā€™m ashamed that it took me til I was an adult to understand that thatā€™s a micro aggression. (I have cringey memories of asking a kid in high school if I could touch his hair.) It also took me too long to understand the racial traumas inflicted on Black women because of & through their hair. Iā€™ll be raising my daughter to do better than me!

    • Joanna says:

      I felt like an idiot that I didn’t know that either. I like curly hair, I didn’t realize it could be offensive.

    • Deedee says:

      Sheree Miller has another great book called Princess Hair. It is about all the different natural hairstyles of little black girls. Afros, Bantu knots, braids, twists, braid outs etc. It is a colorful, beautifully illustrated book depicting black girls of all different skin tones doing various things all children do. I recommend it!

    • Anna says:

      So true. It’s truly exhausting being a Black woman in this country. And look how people think they get to touch, have an opinion about even a toddler’s hair. This is why there is “weathering” which means Black women’s internal age is 7-10 years older than white women because of the effect of never-ending racism. God, I am just so effing exhausted. Let us live. Seriously.

      Maybe this is also worsened by social media being this space where everyone feels entitled to an opinion. I’ve been going back and forth during covid especially, turning my social media off and on, turning off comments but then people just go to dms…I want to just delete it but a lot of times, it’s the only way I hear about what’s new with friends, fam, and in the field…

      • Hoot says:

        1) I cannot do social media. Exhausting.
        2) This little girl makes my insides smile. She is sunshine.

  11. Aang says:

    Nothing wrong with that babyā€™s hair

  12. Marjorie says:

    These pictures are a great way to start the day! What a cutie!

  13. Katherine says:

    what does “why is her hair never done?” even mean regarding a one-year old? how do you DO a one-year old’s hair? like, I’m not using hairspray or hot tools there, what are they talking about??

    • Wamama says:

      I think it means taming every piece of frizz, getting it all either gelled or combed into ā€œsubmission.ā€ My youngest is about to turn 5 and finally has enough hair to get into pigtails…it looked like Kaaviaā€™s for a long timeā€”at that length, there is little to ā€œdoā€ to it! But look at KKWā€™s And Kylieā€™s girls, whose hair is ALWAYS ā€œdone,ā€ and in my opinion looks pulled tight and slicked down more than is comfortable and/or necessary for a child that age.

      I am white and my kids are mixed race. I definitely have heard the comments from my Mother-in-law about my daughtersā€™ hair never being ā€œdone.ā€ She never was rude about it, just little comments like ā€œoh I remember at that age my hair was always popping out everywhere too.ā€ I sensitively took it as an assertion that I didnā€™t *know* how to do their hair šŸ™„ (I can braid and also grew up with curly hair). Iā€™ve let it go now.

      • Chelle says:

        I honestly think for some black people, which I am one, itā€™s really not about taming or subduing or some deep nefarious thing. Itā€™s more shallow. Itā€™s about looking cute, stylish and pulled together.

        I agree re: Kaaviaā€™s hair. She doesnā€™t have enough to pull together or grab. The ā€œbestā€ that can be done for her are headbands or throwing a few cute barrettes up there to add color and style. True story: my niece, at that age, had way less hair. Just wisps and tufts. My sister would pull out the baby sized brush, brush my nieceā€™s hair, then tie it down with a headscarf. WTF, you say!?! šŸ™„šŸ¤ŖšŸ˜‚ There it is.

        I was a critic re: Blue Ivyā€™s hair. I just felt like they did her so wrong. Her momaā€™s hair was always combed and styled. Why couldnā€™t Blue Ivyā€™s be? I always felt like ā€œfuc, they must have just picked her up out of the bed, took off her onsie sleeper (the one with the house shoe feet in it) and said ā€œcome on; we got to go.ā€ It wasnā€™t about ā€œnaturalā€ hair. My hair has been ā€œnaturalā€ for over 20 years. It was about styling and her hair, sticking straight up or half braided with the other half taken down, was not a good or becoming ā€œstyleā€ for her. Also, depending on the texture of the kidā€™s hair, the detangling process can go either one of two ways: painful with tears or more painful with even more tears.

        Finally, when I was a kid, you had to ask for permission to wear your hair ā€œdownā€. I mean practically beg. Iā€™m in generation x, so it wasnā€™t that long ago. So, seeing kids with their hair down and not French braided with beads or in ponytails with little bangs or in little Afro-puffs with barrettes and ribbons is still kind of jarring to a lot of us.

        Just a note: Stormi is cute but her hair is atrocious. They could do better Trueā€™s is alright. šŸ¤ŖšŸ˜‚šŸ¤¦šŸ½ā€ā™€ļø

        Peace

  14. Jay says:

    I feel sorry for the person that could look at this baby’s face and see anything wrong.

    People, especially those who have succeeded by rigidly sticking to expected norms, have a weird insistence on making sure others stay in line. Sort of like, “Well, I had to lose weight/change my style/modulate the way I speak/ straighten my hair in order to gain acceptance, what makes you think you can just be you?”
    By FAR the biggest complaint I hear about my kid, who is white, is about her hair – why doesn’t she have a ponytail? Why is it messy? If her hair isn’t long, HOW CAN PEOPLE TELL IF SHE’S A GIRL? This is seemingly a huge source of anxiety for many of my (female) relatives. I always think “What, are you afraid people might accidentally treat her well because they don’t know any better?”

    ETA I know this is not exactly the same conversation. People’s comments are annoying, but not threatening, which is a privilege in itself.

    • Sarah says:

      This comment is so important – thank you.

    • lucy2 says:

      I agree, and I think you’re hitting the nail on the head. When people criticize something like that (especially on a CHILD, FFS) it’s all about their own issues, insecurities, and resentments.

  15. LeaTheFrench says:

    That child is simply adorable.

  16. Daisyfly says:

    She’s adorable, loved, and happy.

    Everyone needing to find something to criticize about her obviously needs to have their diapers changed.

  17. pottymouth pup says:

    IDK who is criticizing that baby girl’s hair but it’s ridiculous 2 do so (and. for the life of me, I can’t figure out what they’re criticizing b/c her hair looks fine)

    That said, Union is gonna have her hands full – Kaavia has an incredibly expressive face & you can tell she does not and will not suffer fools gladly. I think getting the stink-eye from that beautiful face would be soul crushing

    • Onemoretime says:

      Kaavia is such a delightful toddler who is always serving looks! Future super model alert. I follow her instagram and she is a character, too cute. The toddler challenge where parents tell there toddlers not to eat their snacks until mom comes back in the room. My girl Kaavia had no time for Her mommy or that challenge. She ate her cookies and went on about her business. With that type of content who cares about her hair. It looks healthy and neat.
      Some childrenā€™s hair be so tight in pig tails you can see white bumps starting to form.

  18. Louisa says:

    She is one cute baby! And her expressions!

  19. Grumpier than thou says:

    So I have a linked situation which is causing some family friction, and Iā€™d really be interested in hearing some constructive views on how best to approach. I live in the UK, and have a gorgeous mixed race niece of about the same age. Iā€™ve always been very relaxed about my white European kids hair, my son doesnā€™t have a ā€˜boy haircutā€™ although I daresay he will as he gets to school, and my sister has taken the same approach, letting my neices hair do what it will while sheā€™s so little. They all spend a lot of time together and generally have to be chased round the houses just to get them in clothes! There has been a lot of push back from her dads side of the family on this, even to the point where she has come home from visits with her hair in tight braids. My sister has tried to be firm, not wanting to damage such new hair, but itā€™s being taken as being at best culturally insensitive and starting to cause real problems. Any advice? I understand of course that my neiceā€™s hair will need different techniques as she gets older, and totally willing, ready and up for learning for when aunty has her, but I tend to agree that spending a lot of time changing her beautiful natural little self, especially when sheā€™s a fidgety cricket, isnā€™t the best use of time?

    • Chelle says:

      I canā€™t advise. Wonā€™t advise. Shouldnā€™t advise. But I will say this: there are people who will criticize. Iā€™m one of them. I use to shudder when Iā€™d see Blue Ivyā€™s hair. As a matter of fact, I still have flashbacks. However, thatā€™s your sisterā€™s child. She can do anything she wants with her daughterā€™s hair.

      If your sister is looking for language to use or a middle ground to appease instead of going to war on this (cause the issue could be about something else), tell your sister she might say things like the following:

      When X comes home, her hair is so cute but Iā€™m scared it will pull out her edges or mess up her baby hair (the rim of hair around the front) when itā€™s braided that tight. I see so many people (e.g.; Naomi Taylor) whose edges are completely gone because of their hair being braided too tight, or from constantly wearing headbands and wigs. I know sheā€™s just a baby, but still . . . (that edges thing has black people on edge, for real)

      Or

      I donā€™t want her hair braided that tight because I donā€™t want her to become tender-headed. (Theyā€™ll know what that means.)

      That should scare them and/or flashbacks of being tender-headed should gain her some allies. They may pushback and say that she isnā€™t or that her hair needs to be trained. Tell your sister to say that see understands but doesnā€™t want the training to start now.

      Or

      I like the braids (flattery) but if you are going to comb her hair, please put it in ponytails. Sheā€™s cute in ponytails and that way she wonā€™t become tender-headed. (Tell your sister to send over some barrettes, ponytail holders/knick-knockers, and ribbons that match her daughterā€™s outfits.)

      Or

      I appreciate you all doing her hair. I hope BB is still around when X starts high school/secondary school. Sheā€™ll save me a fortune in having to have Xā€™s hair done. But, for now, sheā€™s just a baby and I like it down and loose the way it is for now.

      Once again, itā€™s your sisterā€™s baby. She can do what she wants. She can also consider having her boyfriend/husband/lover tell his family to back off. Finally, when I said other issues, what I meant was they may feel that your sister, as a white woman, doesnā€™t know a thing about ā€œblackā€ hair (styling, upkeep, and maintenance). They could be well-meaning and call themselves being helpful, i.e., providing your sister with examples. They could be doing it from an šŸ™„ perspective (ugh, this girl doesnā€™t know). They could also be doing it from habitā€”combing hair, that is. Are all of the other babies/toddlers/children braided, pony-tailed and/or otherwise bedazzled? Or they could simply be assholes. šŸ¤·šŸ½ā€ā™€ļø. Anyway, good luck to your sister.

      Hope this helps!

      • Anna says:

        These are wonderful suggestions. Thank you for your time in responding.

      • Grumpierthanthou says:

        Thanks Chelsea, for that thoughtful reply. Thatā€™s just the point I think – that she absolutely doesnā€™t want to go in and cause offence talking to black women about black hair, she absolutely wants her relatives to be a massive part of her daughters upbringing and provide support about those things that sheā€™ll experience that my sister just wonā€™t have lived herself, those sound like an excellent starting point. Thank you!

    • yinyang says:

      All those tight braids makes me cringe, and all that combing with the skinny combs. I say put in conditoner in shower, comb while wet, partciulary a brush that has those rubber bristles AND boars hair bristles combined, put up, and dont wash everyday maybe twice a week. JMO I’m no expert, but thats the only kidfriendly I could think of. As for your inlaws, yeesh, I feel for you…set boundries maybe.

  20. grabbyhands says:

    She may only be one and a half, but her mean mugging is already flawless.

    Also, this kid is adorable and her hair is fine.

  21. Mabs A'Mabbin says:

    My kids always got attacked by other women and moms about their messy, long locks. Even from my dad. When my boys were toddlers I let hair flow and never got bent about cuts and styles. And I’m white. I can NOT imagine having to sit through assaults of hair insults every day. Natural hair gone wild is how I exist. It’s what I love. It’s what I admire. And I’ve lived it my entire life. F*ck anyone telling me, you, everyone what we should be doing with our hair and our children’s hair.

  22. josephine says:

    At what age do we start assessing and criticizing a boy’s hair? Pretty much never – once in awhile an adult male might be critiqued for a bad haircut but we seem to leave male children largely alone. (Caveat – I do wonder if boys of color get crap about their hair – I don’t see a lot about that but can imagine it’s true — people seem to think they have a right to comment about anything when it comes to children of color.)

    Let’s do the same for girls – no comments about hair, weight, fashion, anything to do with what they look like. Every kid deserves to think that they are physically perfect exactly how they were made.

    • Hoot says:

      Itā€™s been my experience that boys – throughout all stages of life, from baby to men – do indeed get hassled about their hair. Or maybe it was just that my relatives were weird. Always the comments. I simply ignored it.

  23. Jax Witt says:

    Good for you Gabrielle! Your daughter’s hair is adorable and I love the scarf too. Don’t let anyone shame you for loving what you were given. So happy you are teaching your daughter to rock it and be proud! Hopefully others will follow your excellent example.

    Here’s how another mother I know does it. She traps here two year old in her high chair. She then spends 1 to sometimes 2 HOURS combing it out, braiding it, and putting barrettes in it. If the baby pulls the barrettes out, she gets a spanking. I tell her to her face that I think this is child abuse. She says her mother did it to her and her baby has to learn to endure it in order for her hair to grow out. Soon she is going to put relaxer on this baby’s hair and it will be painful. And so it goes. I’m going to send her these adorable pictures and beg my friend to let her baby be one more time.

    • Guest with Cat says:

      We are supposed to want better for our children than the misguided ideals imposed on us. I am not black but I am multiracial and know the pain of having a standard of beauty that does not reflect my heritage imposed on me. When I was 2 or 3, my white grandmother stuck a blonde wig on me and talked about how beautiful it made me. And yes I remember what that moment felt like 5 decades later. My mother, tired of seeing her flesh and blood rejected so often by the society she married into, talked of getting me plastic surgery so I would be accepted better. I forgave, for my own inner peace, but I will never forget.

      So I am glad you had the courage to speak up. Two year olds should be playing and not strapped down for hours getting their delicate hair messed with. Let alone being spanked over such a thing.

      There’s no excuse for that all. It just teaches an innocent little girl she has no agency whatsoever over what someone else decides to do to her body! And then we wonder why women and girls are afraid to speak out when someone molests them or invades their personal space. We teach them through things like this that they don’t own their own space, their own bodies. That whoever is bigger and stronger has the say.

      Really, it is much more fun and amusing and educational to show a child what options they have for clothes and hair, let them decide, and help them make their choices happen. They learn on their own soon enough what works best for them.

      Sorry I’m off my soap box now. I hope you can get through to this woman before she ruins every memory her daughter will have of her.

      I had come here with the intention of simply gushing over how amazingly cute this baby is. Some beautiful paintings could be made from a couple of her photos. She’s the embodiment of childhood joy. Probably because her mother is just letting her experience the pure happiness of simply existing, just as she is.

      • Jax Witt says:

        Thank you for adding to my arsenal of ammunition why this practice is so damaging. I had never even thought of it teaching them to let others abuse their body and space. Believe me I will be sharing that next time we talk. My friend is a good and loving mother. But she has so much hatred and shame drilled into her over hair. It just gets passed from generation to generation. Not just from her family, her work too. After her daughter was born she was so pressed for time she cut her hair really short. As it grew out, she wore a cute afro. She got reprimanded for being too “casual” when she asked why she had been passed over for a promotion she had earned. It was about this time she went after her daughter’s hair. I really think she thinks she is protecting her from the world. But I keep telling her we need to change the world instead. Not so easy. But it must be done. I am a 65 year old white woman and I have been saying since Rodney King,: This has to change now. Being shocked anew as another and another is murdered and maimed. I bought a half dozen BLM T-shirts and I am wearing them everyday and everywhere. One says :
        WHITE SILENCE IS WHITE CONSENT
        and that is true. To have true change all of us, of every color, but especially whites, have to stand up and say we won’t stand for this anymore. That is the only thing that is going to move our fat, self-satisfied and corrupt
        government to enforce the laws that all men are equal.

        I apologize, I am not lecturing you. I am just so upset watching all this for years and years. Can you imagine what it’s like enduring it?

        So thank for speaking up on the subject. You educated me a little more.

        BLACK LIVES MATTER

    • KatV says:

      Thatā€™s shocking to read. Where Iā€™m from hitting kids is illegal! And then for hair, omg.

  24. BK says:

    That baby is a cutie and there’s nothing wrong with her hair. That being said, this is the stuff what happens when you exploit your children for content, everyone is going to share their crappy opinions. I don’t have much tolerance for celebs who post their kids online incessantly and then complain about the ramifications.

  25. Lizzieb says:

    @ Jax wit. Omg. This breaks my heart. Hopefully your friend stops and chooses not to use relaxer on her baby

  26. emmy says:

    That baby is adorable and the pics are gorgeous. I’ve been reading up on and watching a lot of online content on Black hair (and the beauty world in general). It’s such an important topic and the thing I’ve taken away from it is that people need to f*ck off, as they should with most things, frankly. Natural Black hair is so beautiful and takes so much time to care for, I wish people would appreciate it. How is diversity in beauty not celebrated? It’s so much more interesting and beautiful than having everyone look the damn same. Just to be superficial for a sec. Of course there’s more to it but damn, just on a surface level, let’s just let people do and be whoever they are. How boring this ONE Western notion of beauty is.

  27. SJR says:

    Cutie pie! Lovely, healthy and cheerful baby. Leave her alone, ffs.

  28. Shazze says:

    What a beautiful, happy baby! Clearly good parenting!

  29. I know says:

    These comments are rooted deep into White Supremacy and what it has done to black people – especially with hair. The people who are criticizing Union, did the same thing to Beyonce when she refused to to submit Blue Ivy’s hair into tight plaits or in a million babbles in her hair. We were so ostracized about our natural hair that we’ve equated sabotaging hairstyles with looking “clean.” A baby’s hair should be washed, moisturized, and left alone. PERIOD. I’ve seen young girls with Alopecia and no edges because their mothers have put unnaturally tight hairstyles in their hair. I know I am traumatized from my experience of getting my hair braided weekly.

  30. Prayer Warrior says:

    I have recently come to the conclusion that I like individual humans, but deeply dislike ‘people’

  31. TheOriginalMia says:

    She’s a cutie. Looking like the perfect mix of her parents. People need to mind their own business. Her hair is fine. She’s a baby.

  32. Mia says:

    Those complaining about her childā€™s hair probably have no edges. Iā€™d love to see how all the complainers hair look if they have any.

  33. ChillyWilly says:

    Her curls are so cute…what do the critics want? Her poor little scalp pulled tight in braids? Why put a baby through that torture? Her hair looks so cute and healthy!

  34. Charfromdarock says:

    I canā€™t imagine looking at that adorable baby and seeing anything but perfection.

    Besides, if itā€™s not growing out of you head itā€™s none of your business.

  35. Lala11_7 says:

    Black folks relationship to our hair is SO indoctrinated in Whyte Supremacy…my Mama relaxed my long 4c hair when I was 5 in 1972…when relaxers FIRST hit the market…by 1974 my hair was GONE and the HELL I HAVE GONE THROUGH MY WHOLE LIFE dealing with my hair…WHOA CHILEšŸ˜­ Curls…relaxers…weaves…wigs…in February at 52 years of age…I FINALLY took a pair of scissors and cut OFF my shoulder length relaxed hair…AND I FEEL FREE! I LITERALLY CRIED…because pop culture has made natural hair vogue again…which means my GLORIOUS nappy red afro wasn’t side-eyed at work…and I haven’t worn a wig sinceā£ Of course my 83 year old Mama HATES ITšŸ˜‚ but she’ll be aightšŸ˜†

    • Regina Falangie says:

      Iā€™m so happy for you Lala11_7!! You deserve to be free and happy!!

      PS I always enjoy your comments and your point of view. ā¤ļø

    • Anna says:

      Blessings, sis! I’m sure you look glorious!

  36. StrawberryBlonde says:

    I follow Union and her daughter on IG. Kaavia is absolutely adorable and I love seeing her pictures and video. I’ve never once thought about her hair? That might be because I do not have experience with black hair. I just think she is an awesome little kid and Gabrielle seems like an amazing mom.

  37. Liz version 700 says:

    That sweet baby is gorgeous! I am a white woman so I didnā€™t have the creepy ā€œcontrol ethnic women’sā€™ hairā€ thing that so many African American women face; but my hair is super super curly. As a child and teenager I did get the mob of people telling me my hair was wrong and I should cut it or straighten it. It messed with my head for years. ā€œOh I love you hair do you ever straighten it that would look so good?ā€ ā€œOh your hair is crazy when are you gonna cut it off?ā€ People need to leave children alone about their hair and their bodies and just let them be!

  38. KBeth says:

    That baby is perfect, absolutely beautiful!

  39. Regina Falangie says:

    She is gorgeous. Those cheeks are so kissable!!!

  40. ME says:

    People really need to STFU. She’s a kid. Even if she was a grown woman, her hair is HER hair. She can wear it however she likes. She’s adorable and a total mini-me of her dad !

  41. Lolafalana says:

    I’m sorry – but what could possibly be cuter than that hair? So adorable!

  42. Joh says:

    Gorgeous child.
    My baby sister spent her first 5 years with a very short pixie cut because she hated her hair being brushed or fussed over.
    Every now 60 year old photo of her if she has longer hair she has a snarl of hair.
    I love she already respects her kid.

  43. nicegirl says:

    Iā€™m in love with baby Kaavia.

  44. Onnit says:

    This is a little kid! Please let little kids be little kids.

  45. Bread and Circuses says:

    I am all here for the cute baby photos! Oh, those chubby widdle arms. šŸ™‚

    • Dierski says:

      Came here to say the same – that cute little face!! Made my day to see her posts today. She is obviously such a loving mother.

  46. mew says:

    Seriously people hating young baby’s hair??? What is wrong with this world?? Everyone should be allowed to have their hair as they want, especially so little kids! It’s beyond crazy.

  47. Atti says:

    I just hate mom shaming. I know hair is very very important for black mothers, but keep your eyes on your own kids maybe? Jeez.

  48. Jojo says:

    Her hair looks fine.It doesn’t need to be slicked down with gel or put in tight rubber bands.
    Blue Ivy’s hair also looked fine when she was this age and looks fine now.

  49. Teri Tulk says:

    What’s wrong with her hair? People really have nothing better to do