Amy Schumer posted the photo above of herself with son Gene over the weekend. The photo itself is cute with Gene sitting on a little toy bike and Amy on the floor with her arm around him. She put a heart over Gene’s face to protect his privacy but you can tell he’s smiling. She is too. It isn’t the photo that caught the commenters and media’s attention, though, it was Amy’s caption, which was a raw and honest moment about motherhood and its emotional toll. Amy admitted to feeling constantly guilty and vulnerable in a way she would never get used to and feeling like her heart is “outside your body.” Many of Amy’s celebrity friends jumped in her comments to agree with her.
Amy Schumer is dispensing some musings on motherhood — and many can relate.
The Emmy Award winner, 40, got candid about the bittersweet emotions that come with being a mom, sharing an adorable photo of herself with 2½-year-old son Gene David, sitting on a red toy motorcycle early Sunday morning.
“Being his mom is heaven on earth and also means a constant feeling of guilt and vulnerability I will never get used to,” Schumer wrote in the caption. “Your heart feels like it’s outside your body and you’re too old to drink the feelings away like you used to. When you were in love and scared. Send help!!!”
Her caption sparked an outpouring of sympathy from some fellow celebrity parents. “Amen,” wrote America Ferrera. “Perfectly said and helpful to hear,” Ilana Glazer commented.
“Yep, that’s exactly how it is and feels. It’s beautiful and terrifying,” Tan France added. “Omg it’s how I feel every day I drop him off at preschool,” Amanda Kloots wrote. “There’s no cure,” Debra Messing replied. Kathy Hilton dropped some heart-eye emojis in the comments, while Rosie O’Donnell shared some hearts.
“I’m not a Mom but as an Auntie I hear from my Sisters and sounds like you are right on track with it all,” Debbie Gibson commented. “Ahhh, the love. The guilt too… but, try to drop that girl cuz all of you Moms are doing the most awe inspiring job by virtue of the fact that you are doing it ! Amazing pic. ENJOY!”
I get the sense that these feelings were welling up in Amy and burst the day she decided to post. That’s also a part of parenthood. She does hit several points accurately for such a brief caption. What really struck me was the commenters, specifically the difference in ages of both the parents and their kids. Tan France’s son is just about 10 months old. Amanda Kloot’s son is two. But Debra Messing’s son is 17 and Kathy Hilton and Rosie O’Donnell have adult children (Rosie also has a nine-year-old). It just shows that these feelings of guilt and vulnerability don’t go away with time. But neither does that scary love you fell for your kids, so I guess it balances it out.
Something happened last year that means I never get to call myself good mom ever again. I never thought I was going to win awards, but I used to think I was at least in the plus column. As we are always told, it’s the most important job I’ll ever have, so you can imagine how the discovery hit me. So when moms put out captions like Amy’s, I feel for them. I know it sounds like they’re trying to canonize themselves and the rest of Mommydom, but more often than not, they’re looking for a lifeline. Parenting is terrifying. And with everyone posting their best life on social media, it’s easy for people to judge themselves harshly. I have no idea what prompted Amy to open up like this. For all I know it could have been a huge win and I really hope it was. I hope she felt the warmth of her fellow parents’ approval. It won’t be the last time she feels guilt or vulnerability but I think that means she’s doing it right.
Photo credit:Instagram, InStar Images and Avalon Red
They have the same highlights (natural in him, I’m sure). Soooo cute!
They look very happy. Motherhood is hard and rapturous, she’s right.
I empathize w her. She had endo/adenomyosis. I have it. The health issues come w anxiety from hormone rollercoaster and crazy pain you feel. I know she had a hysterectomy last year and may be doing hormones. or experiencing hormone withdrawal if not. It happens even if you keep your ovaries at a certain level. I just did and came off some, they can make the emotional rollercoaster worse. I can only imagine adding in parenting. Any way hugs to Amy, her journey w this resonates w me.
I’m not always her biggest fan, but as a mom of 4, I absolutely know how she feels. Every little mistake, big or small, adds to the guilt pile. And a lot of those mistakes, we are the only ones that remember them. We have to give ourselves grace sometimes. As long as our kids are safe, happy, and healthy in the long run, that’s what matters! And even if they are not one of those things for a little while, if we are actively trueing to get them back to that state, that’s ok too!
I get such a kick out of Amy and how real she is.
I don’t know what you did to not be a “good mom” but right there with you. I wish you all the unconditional love and empathy in the world.
I saw her and Gene at a playground in Manhattan, she was like a regular mom and I didn’t recognize her until my friend pointed her out. The 6 year old girl I babysit for actually went up to Amy and said “Hi I’m [name] and you should watch me do the monkey bars because I’m really good and then maybe I can teach your baby!” I was with her brother in another area and didn’t hear about it until later hahaha
I’m sorry to hear about your struggle with motherhood but I don’t think you should be so hard on yourself. It’s all peaks and valleys and sometimes the valley parts go on for too too long. I have moments (too many sometimes) where I feel like a complete failure but you just have to try your best and take a breath next time you’re feeling that way. As a mother, at least in my case, I spend the most amount of time with my children so it’s understandable that I mess up more than my husband. My patience wears thin and sometimes I am not the best version of myself.
Everyone has guilt, feels terrified and feels like a shit parent sometimes. Glad Amy spoke on it cause the feeling is universal.
Ps don’t be so hard on yourself Hecate. We are all trying our best ❤️
She perfectly described parenthood. It doesn’t help that the rules and goalposts keep changing (as they should as your child progresses). It’s scary and I feel like I’m doing it wrong all the time. I love my child so much it’s scary but you always don’t want them to go through the pain so you want to correct things so bad and reverse generational trauma. I zero in on all the “Failures” and missed opportunities way more than I should be but I wouldn’t change it or reverse it for anything. I’m 38 soon to be 39 and my son is 4. Some days I truly get it when Murtagh used to say “I’m getting too old for this…” 😀
Well said Amy! My daughter is 24 and I still feel that as soon as I became a Mom, the “Me” part of me shrunk and the “Mom” part of me took over 100%. I have adjusted to this. 😀
But, yeah, I like to joke that of the 6 billion humans on planet Earth She is The One.
Overwhelming feelings of love, generally. lol
Very cute pics of her and son.
My oldest is transitioning out of childhood and it’s so cool to watch. Yes, he’s still my heart walking around outside of my body, and every time he leaves the house it’s briefly terrifying (he’s not yet driving and that is going to be next level scary) but he’s his own person too making his own choices, living his own peaks and valleys (the limited perspective of a teenager is hilarious though, days are like months to them). I have to pull on my many years of perspective to let him have that space and not make his life about me and my choices. It’s tough but I know as an adult I’d never want my parents to feel guilt or responsibility for the many mistakes I’ve made along the way and I also wouldn’t want them making decisions for me even if it meant a “better” choice.
It’s so hard, and it doesn’t get easier as they get older! Mine are 14 and 9 and every age is wonderful, but also terrifying. I beat myself up all the time about things I wish I’d done better, or differently, or more, or less. At the end of the day, I hope I am raising good adults.
Hecate, being a “good mom” doesn’t mean being perfect. It doesn’t mean bad things won’t happen. It means you’re engaged, thoughtful, loving, consistent, patient, and supportive. And it means cutting yourself some slack if you’re over it and want everyone to stop talking at you, touching you, and bothering you so that you can eat your secret chocolate stash in peace! I’m sure you’re a good mom, your love for your family shines through your posts. Give yourself some grace, it’s tough out there!! 💗💗💗
Girl I feel like you dropped a bomb with “never get to call myself good mom ever again.” Please don’t crush my hope that there is some redemption for me, a mom who’s made mistakes and has major flaws. Unless you lost a child, and if that is the case you have my sincere sympathies.
♡Hectate
“I know it sounds like they’re trying to canonize themselves and the rest of Mommydom, but more often than not, they’re looking for a lifeline. Parenting is terrifying”
I feel this so deep in my heart. Sometimes I’m just looking for some words that would let me know that what I’m feeling is not wrong or at least i’m not the only one to feel that way.