King Charles is telling everyone that the Sussexes are banned from the balcony

Over the weekend, Buckingham Palace was desperate for a “reset” following the success of Prince Harry’s Spare, so they announced the itinerary for the three-day coronation-fest in May. We need to come up with a punchy nickname for this too, like we did with “Jubbly” and “Jubbly Shambles.” Until we come up with it, we have to call it the Coronation Weekend, a three-day extravaganza for King Charles III. The itinerary: on Saturday, May 6, the actual coronation at Westminster Abbey. On Sunday (May 7th), there will be two big events: the Coronation Big Lunch and the Coronation Concert at Windsor Castle, which will include “the Coronation Choir, made up of amateur singers and members of Refugee choirs, NHS choirs, LGBTQ+ singing groups and deaf signing choirs across the U.K.” There will also be a drone show called Lighting Up the Nation. The Coronation Big Lunch is KC3 telling the nation to have lunch with their neighbors and make it into a street party. Then on Monday, May 8, is a day of service called The Big Help Out.

I honestly didn’t know that they were going to do the coronation Jubbly-style, like it would be a multi-day affair with a concert and sh-t. Charles really is following the model of his mother’s Platinum Jubbly though, down to preemptively “banning” the Duke and Duchess of Sussex from the Buckingham Palace balcony. The Windsors and the British media made a huge deal about the “balcony ban” last year, even though Harry and Meghan only decided to come to the Jubbly when they were personally invited by QEII. The Windsors made a special effort to “punish” them with the balcony ban, and it looks like the balcony will stay All White for the coronation. That’s the signal the Windsors want to send, this is their own PR, this is BP briefing the media:

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex and the Duke of York are ‘unlikely’ to join the King and Queen Consort on the balcony during the Coronation, The Mail on Sunday understands. Last night Buckingham Palace confirmed that the newly crowned King and Queen will appear at Buckingham Palace after the ceremony in May.

As with the late Queen’s Platinum Jubilee last year, the line-up of Royals alongside them will be restricted to working members of the family. That will exclude Prince Harry, Meghan and Prince Andrew, who no longer carry out official duties. Prince Andrew stepped down from his official role after allegations of sexual abuse in November 2019. He has always denied the accusations.

There is no indication from Buckingham Palace that Harry and Meghan would be barred from attending the event on May 6, which falls on the fourth birthday of their son Archie. Yet even if the couple do attend, a senior Royal insider said that it would be ‘unlikely’ that they would be included in major public appearances, including the balcony moment.

[From The Daily Mail]

Again, Prince Harry has said clearly and repeatedly that he has not confirmed his attendance at the coronation, and that his attendance is contingent upon a sit-down with his father and an apology to him and his wife. Instead of dealing with Harry’s very public terms, Buckingham Palace is now briefing the British media about how Harry and his Black wife won’t be allowed on the palace balcony. It says a lot about how Charles wants to start his reign. Then again, Charles’s first act as king was briefing the media about how he called Harry and banned Meghan from Balmoral. So this shouldn’t come as a surprise.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Instar.

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362 Responses to “King Charles is telling everyone that the Sussexes are banned from the balcony”

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  1. Bklne says:

    Ugh, this coronation.

    You can’t polish a turd. But you sure as hell can roll it in glitter!

    • whatever says:

      Can’t say I’m really surprised.

      Chuck’s first move was to not acknowledge Archie’s and Lili’s titles that they got **automatically** from being grandchildren to the king it was fairly obvious they were going for an all white-people coronation.

    • AnnaKist says:

      And this is his “pared-down” celebration? Wow.

      KC3’s Horrornation.

      If Harry decides they will attend, they should just go to the formal ceremony in Westminster abbey, and then go to the movies or something. Or just get on a plane and go home.

      Charles is understandably pissed off, hence the balcony ban, but can you imagine the media coverage if Harry and Meghan were up there with all those mendacious twats? All eyes would be on Harry and Meghan, and they hate even the thought of it. I hope H & M have got something in the pipeline that will be released just before the horrornation. Now THAT would be glorious and hilarious!

      • Kingston says:

        Good one, @AnnaKist.

        “Horrornation” indeed.

        Kaiser, I think we’ve found the word youre looking for to brand this particular fakakta Carnation (< "carnation" was used by a SSquaddie.)

      • Robert Phillips says:

        I know it can’t happen because of security. But it would be great if Harry & Meaghan could go and just stand at the front of the crowd while Charles and William were on the balcony. And then just see how much air time each gets on camera. They have to think that balcony is magic. The haven’t realized its who is standing there. And the leftovers aren’t that great so I doubt anyone cares.

      • teecee says:

        @Robert Phillips They don’t event have to go to the UK. Just go outside in Montecito to walk their dog, and most of the networks in the US would go split screen.

      • TheFarmer'sWife says:

        While I’d enjoy H&M “doing something public” on Up-Chuck’s Crowning Day, I think they will celebrate their little boy’s birthday at home. Now, no one can stop the paps from being outside their home’s gates taking photos of what I secretly hope is a long stream of A-list of celebrities, and their children, arriving with their vehicle windows rolled down and waving while yelling Happy Birthday, Archie! Of course, H&M would be accused of all sorts of things, but whose photos would be on the front pages of all those cheap bitter British rags? Beyonce, you are the Queen, and your Duchess needs you!

      • Mary Pester says:

        😂😂😂😂😂YOU couldn’t make this sht up. Harry, Megan, Archie and lilibet will be in America so how could they possibly appear with the muppets on the balcony? Harry has already said, VERY clearly that he will not be attending the coronation of King chinless and his mummy, oops sorry, consort unless they apologise to both him and Megan, but hey, it’s the Palace and their press puppies, so they won’t let the truth get in the way of a good bit of Palace PR. Now, as for prince paedo, no, he didn’t STEP DOWN from anything, he was STRIPPED of everything and the wording of this press release makes me think they are indeed trying to ease him back into the public purse. Word of warning Charles the chinless, don’t get to close to the edge of that balcony, because Billy bully and botox barbie are getting impatient!!

      • Margaret says:

        How about painting lipstick on pigs extravaganza.

      • Suusan says:

        I agree. It’s history, I can see Harry wanting to go. I think it should just be him and the kids in the balcony of westminister abbey. I say no megan and no floor pew because the firm doesn’t deserve the press. They wanted Meg to work on their schedule, she didn’t, they tried to bully her, she said no. That’s the end. Its becoming dangerous for Megan now so may as well not play there game.

      • B says:

        I’m 100% sure that if H&M attend, she will show up looking like the classy lady she is.
        But goddamn, if only she would show up in those ripped jeans…..

      • KATHLEEN says:

        I like it. Could we spell it Whore-renation?

      • Pan says:

        Crow-nation?
        Corona-scion?
        Cow-ronation?
        Colonation?
        Kkkoronation?

    • ariel says:

      Someone should project a “whites only” sign on the balcony while the “family” is up there.
      Let’s be clear about what has happened.

    • Ang says:

      “Glitter turd!”

    • Nunyah says:

      Can we call it The Conniption, cos that’s what it sounds like BP is having all the time these days

    • Another Anna says:

      Alright, Glitter Turd Ceremony is on the list of potential nicknames.

    • EM says:

      I will sincerely lose respect for Harry if he goes to the coronation.

    • May Bench says:

      Charles is so pitiful, pathetic, petty and small.

    • Georgia Walker says:

      I’m praying that Harry and Meghan don’t attend Charles and his Rottweiler’s clown show. I hope they stay in California and plan Archie a Hugh birthday party, with all their friends and family. Charles only want Harry and Meghan there so he can get worldwide media coverage. Without Harry and Meghan his clown show would be a Brit affair and no one else would be interested.

    • Noor says:

      What about CoronaX

    • Heat says:

      As long as we call Willy’s coronation The Pegging, I’ll be happy.

  2. Hedgehog says:

    The Crowning Disaster?

  3. Abby says:

    If I were the Sussexes, I wouldn’t even go. They’ll be abused either way–might as well just enjoy their beautiful live in Montecito instead.

    • Chloe says:

      Exactly. Why go if you are going to be excluded at every turn? Not to mention the amount of palace sources that will be briefing. And it’s clear he doesn’t really get on with his family so going for private family moments doesn’t make sense either. Might as well stay in California and enjoy archie’s 4th birthday in the sun.

      I have to laugh at the royals. Harry said very clearly what needs to happen for him to consider going to that coronation: a public apology and accountability. Instead we get 48474939 different ways on how the royals plan to harry and meghan.

    • L84Tea says:

      It’s shaping up to be Jubbly 2.0 in every way. I really really hope they sit this one out and stay home with birthday cake for Archie.

      • Snuffles says:

        The only reason Harry and Meghan showed up to that fakakta Jubbly was because the Queen asked them personally and they wanted her to meet their children before she died. There is no such motivation this time around.

      • lanne says:

        Heck, who would want to have their kids around Camilla? She’d probably sell pictures of them to her tabloid friends. To quote Shakespeare, as Harry was fond of doing in Spare–the only words they need say to Camilla is “Aroint thee, witch! Ya rump-fed runnion!” which is Shakespearean for “Back off, ho!”

      • Gabby says:

        The event will be designed to humiliate H&M in any way possible should they choose to attend. From the military dress to the “working royal” balcony session to whatever reception they will be invited to and then disinvited from. The Jubbly and the funeral slaps were nothing compared to what this will be. I do love that William will have to kneel down to his father. Heheheheheheh.

    • T3PO says:

      Harry should just issue a general well wishes to Charles and England and call it a day. Something about hoping the monarchy can serve the needs of the community, etc etc Congrats.

      • kirk says:

        He already commented on dad’s promotion during the forever funeral. Since he’s said he only wants a relationship with his family (BRF), no need to acknowledge BRFCo.

    • Princessk says:

      Rumour has it that CBS want to hire Harry as a commentator on the day of the Coronation…..

      • Brassy Rebel says:

        I doubt he would do this, but it would serve them all right if he did. Harry as a royal commentator would cause many heads to explode. 🤯 And CBS’s ratings would go through the roof.

        These plans sound pretty boring and redundant. They just did all this last year, and it was also boring and redundant then.

      • lanne says:

        That would be hilarious. Especially if he just did a play-by play with little editorializing. Heads would explode!!! I’m here for it!!

      • Izzy says:

        Harry being the commentator is literally the only way I would even bother to watch the coronation.

      • Mary Pester says:

        Omg, I would love that, can you imagine “and here we have my father and his side peice, walking out to look down their long noses on the poor plebs who paid for this little shin dig, following up behind them is My brother, prince peggington and his wife barbie botox, sorry willy and Kate, only joking (not) it’s just that the last time I saw Kate smile was before her beautician arrived, 5 years ago! Ah look, here’s uncle Eddie playing dress up again in his uniform and beside him is dear aunt Sophie, poor thing had to close down her PR company because she sold out the Royal family and repeated EVERYTHING they had said about mp’s for money. Mind you that wasn’t as bad as her partner offering to get drugs for the fake Sheik. Honest to goodness folks, welcome to the British Royal family, it’s like a rerun of deliverance

    • Vivica says:

      If it were me, I would take Archie and 20 or so military families to Disneyland for the ultimate birthday party as an invictus outreach or something, but I am petty like that.

      • Brassy Rebel says:

        That would be great!

      • Beverley says:

        Yaaassss!

      • Athena says:

        So I googled Chuck E. Cheese near Montecito as a possible party venue for Archie’s birthday, there are a few options within an hour and a half drive, Sun Valley, Brentwood, LA. If anyone knows of one that is closer, please let M&H know so they can book it.

        I wonder which picture would be front page that day, Archie heading into Chuck E Cheese for his party or Chuck’s on the balcony in his silk stockings and breeches.

      • Blithe says:

        Both, Athena! Both! lol

      • Agreatreckoning says:

        That’s a fun idea @Vivica. Polo starts that weekend too at the SB polo club. A fundraising weekend for mental health charities, veterans, children, the homeless etc., with special guest hosts -the Sussex Family-would be cool.

        As entertaining as a bday party would be at Chuck E. Cheese,(it’s been a long time-don’t have fond memories of their pizza-the games were fun), I’d rather have them do something in coordination with McDonald’s. Though, not excited about their fast food either (I’m lying a bit-every now and then I succumb to their chicken McNuggets-I know, I know-bad). I have a personal connection to the Ronald McDonald House Charity and they really do good work and provide great assistance to families of medically needy children.

    • Liz Version 700o says:

      100% I would tell Chuck to shove it

  4. Rapunzel says:

    This is BP’s sneaky way of trying to have their cake and eat it too.

    If the Sussexes come, they get to say they kept them in their place.

    If the Sussexes don’t attend, they can crow that they didn’t attend because they’re attention seeking divas who refused to come unless they were on the balcony.

    It’s a win-win for the BRF. And the press.

    • Tessa says:

      It is a lose lose for the British royal family imo. It puts their dysfunction on display

    • Becks1 says:

      this is where I think the Jubbly works in their favor though. They weren’t on the balcony there, and they still attended. Of course that won’t stop the BP from attacking them, but nothing will.

    • Noli says:

      Also, i believe Andrew is going to be in the balcony. After all the articles about how he is going to challenge his victim and KC is happy for him to pursue this 🙁

      • Suusan says:

        This whole “harry & Meg” thing is about Andrew. I don’t think they want to call so much attention to Andrew so they lead with Meg and harry. If Andrew hadn’t messed up they probably would’ve ran harry back to England in a sinister way. Its all in the timing. Qe2 should’ve banned Andrew from ghauslaine Maxwell before this even happen. Everyone knows her father was a spy.

    • Lorelei says:

      @Rapunzel, you’re right and I HATE IT

    • Annalise says:

      Rapunzel- I don’t think ANYONE believes that the Sussexes have ANY interest in attending the coronation. Even the dumbshit tabloids seem to be aware of the Sussex’s disinterest, which is WHY they keep running these stupid stories about how KC didn’t want to invite them anyway, was totally going to humiliate them if they tried to show.

      And there is one loser here, and it’s KC, because we all know full well that no matter where the Sussexes are on KC’s KKKoronation, the Sussexes will be the only ones anyone is interested in talking about, almost ALL the attention that KC had wanted for himself, will undoubtedly be hijacked by H&M and with no effort on their part whatsoever. They could literally be sitting on their couch watching TV while KC is crowned, and the world will STILL be talking about them more than KC. The ONLY part of the KKKoronation that will have widespread interest, will be the kneeling of the lesser royals. Lol. Can’t wait.

  5. Lady Digby says:

    They are NOT coming to be repeatedly snubbed like they tried at the funeral!!
    Because they aren’t coming AT ALL!

    • Kel says:

      People made definitive statements like this last time and then got mad at Harry and Meghan when they ended up going.
      We have no idea what they will do. All we know are their conditions before going.
      ultimately it’s up to them if they go because they know what’s best for them.
      So many people are complaining that the Sussexes were embarrassed but have they told you that or is projection? Everytime they’ve attended an event there they’ve received tons of public support especially after the funeral because they’ve always been seen as the bigger person.

      • Annalise says:

        I hope I don’t sound combative, but you predicting that people will get mad at Harry and Meghan if they decide to show up for the coronation, is kinda the same as people predicting whether or not Harry and Meghan WILL show at all. We don’t actually know what theyll decide to do, and you don’t actually know how people will react if their prediction is incorrect.
        While I’m sure that there were people who were mad at Harry and Meghan for going to the Queen’s funeral, Im pretty sure that it WASNT their supporters. I guess I’m saying that I find your comment kind of surprising. Did you see commentors HERE who were actually angry at Harry and Meghan for going to the funeral?? I have to say that I find that hard to believe…… again I hope I don’t come off as argumentative, I’m really just curious where u saw this anger towards H&M during the funeral….

      • Becks1 says:

        @Annalise not the funeral, but people here were mad Harry went to the statue unveiling, the Jubbly, that he stopped to visit the Queen before Invictus, etc.

        There will definitely be rumblings among supporters if H&M go to the coronation.

  6. Pinkosaurus says:

    After reading Spare, I now assume all the opinions from sources close to KC3 are Camilla. In addition to being a nonstop gossip, clearly she and all the staff she hired from the Daily Fail are talking nonstop. I used to think she was a passive influence but now I think she’s the one putting her opinion out there and Charles just goes with it.

    • Tessa says:

      Camilla was never passive
      For example the time she had that infamous lunch with lady Diana.

    • Ginny says:

      I agree. There was evident warmth and affection running beneath everything Harry wrote about Charles in “Spare”…which I just struggle to believe would be there if Charles was the primary actor here. I also more suspect Camilla as the one initiating most of this.

      (Not excusing Charles’s passivity in letting Camilla run amok like that!!)

      • Jais says:

        I mean Camilla clearly briefs like crazy but Charles knows this and sanctions it. He gives her his full support so it’s tacit agreement and complicity. Is she technically his AK?

      • Sunday says:

        Charles just seems like an incredibly weak man. I think @Jais is correct, Charles desperately wanted his own AK and so Camilla is ruthless on his (and her own) behalf, and he sees that as her being dedicated and loyal to him and his reign and her actions just feed his ego and make it even harder for him to hold her accountable for any of the damage she creates.

        IMO Harry thinks he can get through to his father (or maybe he just pities him because he sees how weak he is) but Charles will never call Camilla off because in his mind she’s been nothing but loyal, she’s doing what’s necessary for the crown.

    • Lorelei says:

      @Pinkosaurus, I also always thought Camilla was just passively standing there next to Charles, biding her time until she could get back to her own house and grab a drink, hang out with her own kids, whatever— but it’s now clear that she was the driving force behind a lot of the BS.

      At least now we understand why the British press ran headlines for months about why the Palace was so worried about how Camilla would be portrayed when Spare was released.

      • Agreatreckoning says:

        I’ve apologized a few times now here on CB for ever having defended or saying something positive about C&C. It still boggles my mind what jealous whoores these people are. Especially one that is the parent. H&M made the BRF look good and decent.

  7. Tessa says:

    This coronation seems like a disaster in the making given Charles pettiness. Will Kate push her way to the front again

    • Becks1 says:

      Depends on how much she ticks William off. Remember with the second balcony appearance he made her move down.

    • Pinkosaurus says:

      Oh I hope so. My favorite moments on the Jubbly balcony is when Kate refused to move so that others could not even get in behind her 🤣

    • Princessk says:

      It is terrible. Charles has only two children and I can’t understand why he would not want both of them and their families on the balcony on the most momentous day of his life.
      Surely it is about close family and not who is a working royal and who is not. Charles, William and Kate just want to punish the Sussexes because their workload has increased.

      • Chloe says:

        @princessk: their workload has not increased. And everything that was done to the sussexes was first done because of jealousy, and after the sussexes stepped down, it was done because now they actually form a threat and the royals have lost control over them. That is what this is about.

      • SomeChick says:

        they are creating so much more work for themselves by continuing to plant false stories, when shutting up is free! poor sausages.

      • RoyalBlue says:

        The Wales are working less. William is livid that the Sussexes leaving will show up his incompetence and laziness. Harry and Meghan were the ones coming up with the ideas and showed better oratory, leadership and management skills. They were resourceful and industrious workers. The Remainers are vexed because royals are not supposed to work. They are supposed to show up, smile, nod and wave. The Sussexes were getting attention because they added value to their causes and were indirectly reforming the monarchy. Charles and William wanted to keep doing things the old way.

    • Cessily says:

      God it truly is going to be horrible.. do the subjects there not care at all how petty, childish and pathetic these people are my god they are like a geriatric middle school mafia. I truly hope that they do not attend and let the entire storyline be about the absence of the Sussex’s. I have a feeling that this extravagance will not end well for Charles or his heir.

      • Lorelei says:

        “Geriatric Middle School Mafia” is fcking PERFECT, @Cessily

      • Lady D says:

        The entire comment section of the DF are very happy with the actions of the remaining RF members. I like to think the rest of the UK does not think this way. I’ve seen comments disparaging the D & D of Sussex, with over 20K likes.

  8. Maxine Branch says:

    I see no reason for the Sussexes to attend. At this point in their lives they are focusing more on their future and the future of their children. Harry has made his position clear and a more powerful statement re his remarks in his memoir would be to remain in Monticeto.

  9. Lolo86lf says:

    I am confused. In order to attend Harry and Meghan must be invited by the King and he must provided protection for them right.? Actively working for the crown or not, Harry and Meghan are his son and daughter in-law and they deserve to be in the balcony with him along with everyone else. It is cruel and unfair not to allow them on the balcony. It would be public humiliation and not worth the trip to England.

    • Yup, Me says:

      Harry has emerged from the madness of his family to a world where most of us recognize that a balcony is just a balcony. Standing on it is no great honor and not being seen on it is no major snub. Only the people still living in their sparkly Truman show cage think any of this means anything of consequence.

    • Cal says:

      Yip thoughts too!!

  10. girl_ninja says:

    Loser. LOSERS the lot of them. A multi day celebration got an outdated role that will cost millions and people are struggling energy prices and paying rent. Gross.

  11. Laura D says:

    So is this where the narrative changes to “Harry and Meghan throw strop at not being allowed on balcony and refuse to attend father’s coronation” Gawd, these people are so transparent. Harry has said repeatedly that he wants an apology and accountability so, I’m guessing this is Charles and William saying “not a chance we’ve done nothing wrong.” Ah well at least H&M don’t have to worry about making the kids travel on a long haul flight. There’s also the added bonus that the palace won’t be able to leak to their unnamed “sources” that they snubbed another child’s birthday party.

    • C-Shell says:

      Archie’s birthday would get more global attention tbh. I just had a fast fantasy about the HUGE turnout CIII would get if he publicized that the Sussexes would ALL be on the balcony because it’s his beloved grandson’s 4th birthday. Maybe even put them next to him so he could dote on Lili. Can you imagine?!

      • Laura D says:

        @C-Shell – Before we found out the real truth I have to confess I thought Charles would use the event to show how much he loved his grandchildren and bring Archie onto the balcony with him. Now, I’d be very disappointed if H&M let A&L anywhere near that nest of vipers.

      • Princessk says:

        I really wonder if Charles is really interested in his grandchildren, he does appear self centred and want attention for himself. I think it stems from being starved of mother love, which is what Camilla gives him.

      • Tessa says:

        Even among the Wales children, Charles appears to pay the most attention to George, then the other male child Louis. I never saw him hold Charlotte in his lap like he did for George and Louis, in photographs distributed. Charlotte was shunted to one side in the portrait made of the family in 2017. Charles should be ashamed of himself not having a family photo with his sons, daughters in law and all the grandchildren Elizabeth and Philip had family photos distributed some with just the great grandchildren.

      • booboocita says:

        I have a vague recollection of Chucky saying when or just before Charlotte was born that he wanted a granddaughter who would “take care of him” when he was old. Even when he’s (sort of) expressing fondness for the grandkids, it’s really all about how they impact him, not how much he cares for them.

  12. C says:

    Charles.
    They. Do. Not. Care.

    If they didn’t give a shit about the balcony for Elizabeth who Harry had nothing but good things to say about, I absolutely am sure they do not care about this and I highly doubt they’re even coming given Harry himself said he ha a list of conditions that needed to be met, and we all know they won’t meet them.

    • Heather says:

      This!! They don’t give 2 shits about being on some balcony. To these fools, that’s punishment? Eye roll. It only makes the royals look even more petty than they already are. And more racist. Fools.

      Coronation ideas:
      Crowning Chaos
      Crowning So White/Coronation So White

    • Agreatreckoning says:

      This @ C. They do not care about being on the balcony. They Sussexes accepted the Queen’s Jubbly invitation after it was made known they would not be on the balcony. The Bitchish Media doesn’t even care who is on the balcony. They were more focused on exactly where H&M were.

  13. Rapunzel says:

    Re: names for the Jubbly, Part 2, Coronation edition

    The boreanation?
    Thewhoreanation? (Just for Cammy)
    Chucklefest 2023?
    Chuck E. Three’s crowning spectacular, sponsored by Tampax? 😉

  14. Christine says:

    What about the Cuckoo Crowning?

  15. Miranda says:

    Do you think that, at any point in the past 7+ decades, it ever crossed KC’s mind that he might someday have to use the ol’ “break up with him before he breaks up with you” routine to give himself the upper hand over his own son?

    …in this petty, dysfunctional, oblivious family? Yeah, probably. But I bet he didn’t realize that the threat would come from his “spare”. Awkward!

  16. L84Tea says:

    I think we should just call it “The Sad Little Coronation”.

    • Lizzie says:

      This might be the epitaph if this thing draws the attention of Earthshot or Keens Christmas Concert.

  17. Haha says:

    This f*cking balcony. Again. Nobody cares, and this coronation is going to flop HARD internationally.

    • SussexWatcher says:

      Right?! That family keeps trying to threaten the Sussexes with things they don’t care about! We’ll take your titles away!! Oops, Harry tells us they already OFFERED to give them up! We will ban you from the whites-only balcony!! Oops…who said they were coming anyway?! And last time it looked like Meghan was having more fun in the room behind the balcony anyway!

      When will this stupid family get it through their thick, petty heads that Harry and Meghan do not value the things the BRF and RRs value so you can’t threaten to take those things away. That family and their media minions really just doesn’t get it that Harry isn’t trying to make his way back to them. He’s home now. He’s just not that into you. He’s moved on.

    • booboocita says:

      I’m really wondering just how big the crowds in the UK will be. I’m sure there’ll be crowds, of course, and a few days off from work to ensure maximum attendance. But there have been so many events in recent years with carriages and military uniforms and all the fakakta trappings. Hauling them all out again, and in the service and celebration of a man that hardly anyone likes, seems excessive. If I lived in the UK, I’d take my 2-3 days off work and just toddle off to the beach or the countryside.

  18. Snuffles says:

    This is where I’m at today. If Charles wants his big coronation, fine, let him deal with any fallout. Someone on Twitter pointed out that the US has a big inauguration every 4 years for our President. I mean, none of our Presidents demanded a gold carriage, but it’s our US tradition and no one’s questions it. Fair point.

    That said, just leave Harry and Meghan’s name out of it. It’s that simple. If everything hinges on whether they show up or not, it’s just sending a terrible message that Charles isn’t enough. And if Charles needs to send out the message about how unwelcome and unnecessary they are, he’s sending a message to every POC in the Commonwealth that they aren’t welcome either. That they are only valued for what they can do for HIM. As King Charles is supposed to be a unifier, but he’s out of control petty. This is not a leader.

    • L84Tea says:

      Well said!!

    • SussexWatcher says:

      The difference though, about the inauguration, is that we voted for that person! I’m also pretty sure that some/most(?) of the money for all the balls and things is done by fundraising and not from public money. Although, of course there is still public money spent on security. But anyway, we vote for a president, so I don’t know how good the comparison is.

      As to your second paragraph, I agree 100%. Chuck is a weak, petty, cruel man. Hopefully before the Whites-only Knickerbocker-free Coronation more CW countries will declare they’re planning to vote for independence and remove The Tampon King as head of state.

      • Snuffles says:

        I was going to bring up the voting point, but let’s be real, nearly half of the country didn’t vote for the President, but even if they didn’t, most respect the results and the symbolic process of the changing of the guard. Well, at least they used to.

    • C says:

      An inauguration and a ceremony involving a pure-gold carriage and being anointed with holy oil are, uh, a tad bit different.
      Truly, his coronation SHOULD be more like a presidential inauguration, in this day and age.

      • Lauren says:

        Thats what all the other European monarchies have done, in most of the countries you don’t ever see the crowns worn let alone placed on the monarchs head in a crowning ceremony. Also the spouse has no role, unlike Camilla who will get her own portion of the coronation ceremony.

    • ThatsNotOkay says:

      Our President doesn’t give himself (yeah, that pronoun was a CHOICE) a big birthday party at the tax payer’s expense each year. So the way I see it, Charles can have a once-in-a-lifetime Corona19tion, and a once-in-a-deathtime funebration, or yearly look-at-me parties. Take your pick.

    • Lizzie says:

      The US inauguration is not tax funded it’s funded by donations.

    • HeatherC says:

      There’s no bank holiday for US inaugurations. Inaugurations are not 3 days tax payer funded party. Plus we voted for the president, so its very different than sliding out of the right womb at the right time so give me a party king thing.

  19. C-Shell says:

    While CIII and Camilla, and their flunkies inside and outside of the freaking palace, see this as a “snub” and punishment, I don’t believe Harry or Meghan treasures the balcony moments of adoration from the monarchy’s subjects. I wonder if Harry even feels pride for his Pa finally outliving Harry’s “much loved” grandmother and making the Fakakta Crowning into a three-day posh spectacle. The echo chamber these people occupy is not only out of touch, it’s not even in this century.

    • Monica says:

      He’s worried that he won’t live long enough to have any sort of jubbly, so this is to make up for it.

    • ThatsNotOkay says:

      If Meghan goes, she should dress in rainbow. Every damn color all at once.

  20. Ginger says:

    The reaction from the public is very telling. No one wants this. People didn’t care for the Jubilee and they care even less for this coronation. No one cares that a 74 year old man finally got promoted. There are too many issues going on in the UK and this party is tone deaf as hell.

    • Milo's Mom says:

      Unless millions of people protest in the streets up and down the length of the country, then sadly, the powers that be will continue to do as they have always done.

    • Roo says:

      @Ginger,

      All of it is so tone-deaf, not just the guilded coronation itself. 1) This man has the audacity to suggest a street luncheon party when people are worried about feeding their families amidst rising prices for food and energy. I can’t imagine the economy will be so much better when this weekend comes about. 2) While the day of service is a great idea in theory, I can’t imagine the RF will be out and about serving their country. At most, they will turn up, smile and wave while the regular folk actually add value.

  21. Tessa says:

    Charles obsession over who stands on that balcony. So pathetic

  22. Zapp Brannigan says:

    Dear Gossip Gods and Miss Karma,

    it is me Zapp, the past few years have been financially and emotionally tough for many people, we have struggled with our health and mental well-being. The world has lost those that brought joy, kindness and care to their communities, yet you have seen fit to leave us with the Windsors. I kindly ask you all to re-balance the world a small fraction and have the FBI release documents that name and shame Prince Andrew in no uncertain terms, I also ask that definitive proof of KC3 money laundering is also brought to light in such a way that his people cannot ignore it. Heck I would even settle for thunder and heavy rain to besmirch his golden carriage, just whatever it is please let it overshadow this coronation.

    Peace out,
    Zapp B.

  23. Wendy says:

    With a Big Lunch and a Big Help, obviously this is a Big Boy Party. Time to celebrate a big boy, everyone! Big boy finally got his mummy’s job!

    • Mrs. Smith says:

      Wasn’t Kate’s embarrassing survey called 5 Big Questions?? It’s weird they want to tag all the coronation activities with the same unimaginative descriptor. “It’s Big!!” That’s all they have?

    • CheChe says:

      Big boy should stay home and let the adults fix the nation’s troubles . How a nation with economic hardships can celebrate while people are hurting sums up a bigger problem than whether Harry & Meghan attend this Cornball Weekend. Charles is too busy wanting to put on his “party clothes and showing off” to consider the real optics of not being able to have peace with his son.

    • Kate’s Jeggings says:

      Yes, Charles (finally) In Charge.

    • Agreatreckoning says:

      Hmmm…The Big Help Out. Encouraging British citizens to volunteer for a day. Will the Drab Four be seen spending an 8 hour day volunteering?

  24. Cathy says:

    I don’t know why they are worried about having the Sussexes on the balcony as they should be more worried about Kate considering her habit of planting herself in the prime position and refusing to budge.

  25. GreenEyes says:

    Title? Coroner-ation celebration of dying establishment. Too dark??

  26. Becks1 says:

    This reminds me of an article a few months ago, about how Charles needed to mend things with Harry just because of the optics. I think we’re seeing that now. It is SUCH a bad look for the King to be petty and small minded like this and obsessed with who is on the balcony and who isn’t and to use what is a supposedly a cause for celebration (his coronation) to punish his son.

    Charles is petty and small minded so I don’t think any of us are surprised, but damn, its a bad look.

    • Jul says:

      If they announce H&M would be there, the interest in the balcony appearance would skyrocket- without them, let’s see how many people show up. anyone from UK who can tell if the public really do support the new King and if people will show up ?

      • brighidg says:

        Oh, I think there’s interest from tons of people. And I think they’ll come out in droves.

        They’ll be 90% protesters but hey!

        (Another reason I would support Harry and Meghan celebrating Archie’s birthday at home.)

      • Kellen says:

        People will show up just because of the hoopla around it being a “historic event” and there are still lots of monarchists.
        Also by starting the hype train early they peek peoples interest that’s why I wish people would stop talking about it and giving engagement to it on social media especially if you’re a fan of the Sussexes. You’re just helping them advertise the coronation.

        The talked nonstop about Spare thinking they would sabotage it but thankfully it skyrocketed sales.

      • Polo says:

        @bright they can’t protest in the Uk anymore. If you even hold up a sign saying “abolish the monarchy” you will get detained.

    • Lizzie says:

      It is a bad look. Face it, the media will be at least 50% about the Sussex, whether they go or don’t go. It would be so much better if Chuck took the lead, talked with Harry and Meghan, and told the rest of the family to get on board. But Harry and Meghan were in England twice last year and Chuck let the opportunity slip away.

    • Tiny says:

      History will record HIS OWN SON WASN’T THERE

      It’s what he deserves

  27. lleepar says:

    Re: The Balcony Issue
    There was some scuttlebutt that the REAL reason H&M were kept off the balcony during the Jubbly had more to do with security than status or relationships. I had saved the following tweet as an example of the buzz …

    “Royal Protection Officer admits it was them who advised the Royals that Harry & Meghan being in close vicinity to the Queen during up & coming Jubilee celebrations, that Harry and Meghan should stay away. Major security risk from Terrorists against them.”
    — @GavinBurrowsPI · Apr 27, 2022

    • Lorelei says:

      That is exactly what crossed my mind when I first saw this post— I’d be terrified to be out on that balcony if I were Harry or Meghan. Completely exposed. Not remotely worth the risk, imo.

    • Well Wisher says:

      @lleepar
      The alleged threat was to “off” the entire occupants of the balcony if necessary, to get Harry.

      Some people in the security business even advised against attending all together.

    • Cal says:

      I don’t believe that for one second. There are always excuses frm them to cover . If their security could not protect Garry then it definately could not have protected the queen!

  28. Cel2495 says:

    Ugh , hope they don’t go. Who needs this BS and the stress? Better to celebrate their kids bday in peace surrounded by love and the people who love them. F the RF and the BM

  29. Jais says:

    KC3, the Petty King, wants a jubbly too! So a Chubbly?

    • TangerineTree says:

      Chubbly!!

    • Kate’s Jeggings says:

      The howl I howled! 🤣 The Chubbly is perfect.

      • JD says:

        I was laughing so hard my husband literally came in from the other room to make sure I was ok. And then I had to explain Chubbly… He also thinks it’s perfect. Thanks for the laugh.

    • Agreatreckoning says:

      @Jais, Chubbly is kind of perfect. Charles has been waiting most of his life for his Big Hat Day. He’s been thinking and anticipating this day forevs. It’s coming into his line of sight. He becomes more excited as each day inches closer. He’s about to pop a Chubbly.

      And, with that, here’s some bleach to clean our eyeballs. The potential memes with Chubbly are endless.

  30. Lightpurple says:

    The Crowning

  31. Alexandria says:

    If they cared about balcony and coronations they wouldn’t have left the royal “institution”. Just put your pedos up there.

  32. Chantal says:

    Dysfunction Junction is still trying to pretend like we don’t know its them …
    Coronation Carnival? Carnival of Fools? Circus Circus?
    C-Rex is too selfish and vindictive to understand what a photo of the entire Windsor clan would mean
    A) as a sign of his benevolence (I’m king but also a loving patriarch and here are the members of my family)
    B) for posterity (KC3 began his wise and noble reign…), and
    C) for the invisible contract/RR (ka-ching). I wonder if he’ll get any marching orders re appearances like the RR did to the Keens.

    His pettiness does achieve 2 things, it keeps Meghan from easily outshining Cam and Kate, and it keeps Andrew and his daughters off the balcony. But it will also vividly show the public just how the number of working royals have dwindled but the cost of supporting them has not.

    • SomeChick says:

      it’s all about keeping Andrew off the balcony. they know how bad that would look. they’re still using Harry as a shield. despite that he has made a definitive statement about his position.

      it’s kind of amazing. he came out and said this is how they operate. they all heard it and are continuing to operate the same way. it’s apparently all they can think to do.

      so if this is in the Fail, it’s Camzilla speaking then?

  33. Eurydice says:

    What an idiot. Charles doesn’t want to share the limelight, but here he’s gone and pulled H&M front and center. And I’m hoping H&M will stay silent until the very last minute, so that the BM will spend the next 3 months overshadowing Charles with articles about “will they or won’t they.”

  34. WiththeAmericann says:

    Burn Book Balcony
    mean girls of Windsor
    Chuck and Cams: from home wreckers to head of church, buy your Tampax tea towels here!
    The Crowening
    Pens, Mattresses and Toilets: the coronation story of a very fussy 75 year old toddler
    3 People in this Marriage, 3 Days to Crown Him
    Cruckles, the coronation
    KC3 it’s all about MEEEEE

    • AnneL says:

      They need to sell commemorative boxes of tampons with King Chuck and Queen Cam on there. Or someone needs to.

      • WiththeAmericann says:

        Yes I would pay for this, as well as the floating tampon mentioned above. Get yer commemorative coronation tampon here!

  35. Tea4Two says:

    The
    White Carnation

    • Surly Gale says:

      ‘White carnations are widely known as a symbol of innocence. It is said that the Greek goddess Diana once rejected a Shephard boy who died from misery, and the tears he shed eventually led to the blooming of white carnations—signifying purity and innocence. The pure white color of the white carnation petals represents simplicity and genuineness.’

      I get where you were going with this, but as a flower person, this is not a good moniker IMO

  36. Tarte au Citron says:

    How insecure is King Chuck?! Seriously.

    He’s the actual king, and he’s worried about being upstaged by his 2nd son & his wife who probably won’t even attend.

    I would bet if Diana were still alive, the British media would be howling about her going to the Coronation too. (Or not!)

    • Izzy says:

      The biggest laugh here is that by not attending, they will overshadow Tampon King because it’s all the media will talk about. If they are there but not on the balcony, the snub is all anyone will talk about. By doing anything other than “they are the son and DIL of the king and are welcome as family at all coronation events,” the palace vipers created this situation themselves. Now they can sit and rot in it.

      • Canada should leave the Commonwealth says:

        Izzy – sharp analysis and well said! How dumb are CRex and his “palace vipers”?

  37. Timi says:

    The crown con lying

  38. Izzy says:

    Coronation Catastrophe. Coronation Clusterf*ck.

    Bold of them to assume that the Sussexes will even be there. If I were managing the Sussexes’ PR and schedule, I would take this opportunity to announce a big project or trip for an initiative that coincides with the coronation. To make it perfectly clear that an invitation to the thing is neither wanted nor relevant.

  39. Amy Bee says:

    I’d be very surprised if Harry and Meghan went to the coronation because it doesn’t seem like the Royal Family is willing to apologize to them

  40. Paulkid says:

    Let us have a worldwide “Archie is 4!” street party and acts of volunteerism in his name. Feed a chicken, read books and practice politeness while ignoring the whiny wimp putting on a crown beside the Worst Woman In The World.

    • C says:

      Honestly, I second this. Let’s take that day to spotlight Archewell charities in Archie’s honor.

  41. what's inside says:

    C-Rexup.

  42. nutella toast says:

    Con End (literally using the beginning and the end of Coronation Weekend)…please let it be the end.

    Also,
    Prince Andrew WAS FORCED OUT OF his official role (BUT NOT HIS HOUSE OR SUBSTANTIAL BANK ACCOUNT AND PERSONAL SECURITY) after HIS MOMMY PAID OUT MILLIONS OF POUNDS TO SHUT EVERYONE UP FROM TALKING ABOUT HIS sexual abuse in November 2019. He has always denied the accusations BUT NOONE PAYS OUT THAT KIND OF MONEY UNLESS THEY’RE GUILTY AS SIN.

    There. Fixed it.

  43. RiaH says:

    All H and M have to do is release a photo of Archie for his birthday, and everyone will forget the coronation. It’s ridiculous not letting them on the balcony.

    • Cal says:

      Personally I don’t want to see those kids there or H & M! That family are way too dangerous for my liking

  44. Pope Archibald says:

    Crony Weekend! Cronyfest!

    Or the aforementioned Chuckfest certainly made me chuckle!!

  45. Red Weather Tiger says:

    Of course Chuck is stuck. If H&M are on the stupid balcony, they will be the focus instead of the unattractive, ill-tempered monarch and his grimacing sidepiece. If they are not, all commentary will focus on the fact that H&M are NOT there, and their absence will overshadow Chuckle’s Big Weekend. His trying to pretend he is in control is sad and pathetic and hoghlights what a weak, petty, awful little “king” he is.

    I saw a video clip from when Harry was a toddler. The RF was on the dumb balcony, and all the older folks finished waving and were walking back in to BP. Harry had barely been able to see over the balcony, so Diana him up, he saw the crowds, and he waved. The crowd broke out in cheers, and all the seniors thought the crowd was cheering for them…then they realized it was love for darling Harry. Making attendance on that balcony into some sort of reward or status symbol was the dumbest move ever, and par for the course for the Petty Fools of Windsor.

  46. Louise177 says:

    These people are so dumb. Harry already said that they probably won’t be invited and likely wouldn’t go if they were. Also do the Royals and media know what banned is? It would be to specifically single out Harry and Meghan. Since it’s only working Royals, most of the family won’t be on balcony.

  47. Mooney says:

    It’s always a pleasant sight to watch a pretty young woman adorned with jewels in a beautiful gown. That’s why Betty’s coronation was eventful because of the above factors and maintained that royal fairytale with a handsome prince by the side. Now Chuck and Chucky bride…. well… two seventy year somethings with ugly faces and and an equally ugly past.

    If Chuck wants his big hat day to be only about him, tell his media lapdogs absolutely to NOT talk about the Montecito royals, whether they’re there or not. And if they are there, follow the jubbly rule and do not insult the Sussexes when they’re there. Give them full security and recognise the children’s titles. And keep the Witches of Windsor far far away from Meghan.

    PS: If they really attend, I hope Meghan wears the Spencer tiara. Imagine the seething 😁🤣

    • Vivian says:

      If Spare was indeed Harry’s truth and the Sussexes believed they were running for their lives when fleeing the UK, I do not understand why they would attend Charles’s coronation.

      Also, I do not believe Charles Spencer would loan the Spencer tiara to Meghan, since she is not a Spencer.

      • Tessa says:

        I doubt anybody will use the Spencer tiara at the Coronation. Meghan is the wife of Charles spencer’s nephew and Diana is the grandmother of Meghan and Harry’s children. So she is part of the Spencer clan.

      • Cal says:

        Have you forgotten that Harry is a progeny of the Spencer’s???
        And Meghsn is married to him that would make her Diana daughter in law!

      • Lady Esther says:

        Harry said in Spare that the Spencer family offered Meghan the Spencer tiara for their wedding (probably to increase its value for sale, not out of any particular good feeling towards her), to the point that Meghan designed her scalloped veil to match the tiara. But yeah, I don’t think it would be appropriate for the Coronation. If Meghan was to wear a tiara it should be something from the Royal collection, either her wedding tiara or a new (for her) one. But there are a lot of things that “should be” done properly for Meghan and aren’t; I’m sure Charles will pull the “not a working royal” bullshit so she can’t wear one, just as Harry won’t be allowed to wear his military uniform.

        Can’t wait for tiara speculation posts though!

    • Lorelei says:

      His “Big Hat Day” 😂

  48. TheWigletOfWails says:

    The Coranation? (Cora is a brand of tampons)

  49. Sunday says:

    All these events called “The Big” whatever just remind me of Seinfeld and The Big Salad. You’ve been planning this for how long and you couldn’t come up with catchier, more regal sounding event names? Really? You’ve got The Big Lunch and The Big Clean Up?

    Add basic marketing skills to the neverending list of things the Windsors are f*king terrible at.

    And my Lord, the balcony again. It’s so frustrating that the press can be revealed to be complete frauds just spinning a web of lies to prop up the royal family as they just were in Harry’s book and …nothing happens, they just keep on spinning, shoving the same tired narratives down the throat of the public.

    • Harper says:

      @Sunday I can’t stand their use of The Big This and The Big That. I think it is really juvenile. All I can think of is The Big Gulp from 7-11! Also, it feels like they don’t have any confidence that people will actually come out and volunteer or come out and have lunch with their neighbors, so they call it the Big Thing to make you think everyone is doing it and you will totally miss out. Lame. Childish. Weak.

      So the weekend is: The Big Lunch. The Big Help Out. And the coronation ceremony is The Big Mistake.

      • Lorelei says:

        Right? Calling everything “big” is what I’d expect from a three-year-old with a limited vocabulary.
        They’ve had how many years to plan this event and this is the best they can come up with? FFS

    • Lady Esther says:

      They need to bring over Neil Patrick Harris to really sell it. Oh yes it’s Bigger!
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbQulg8LogY

  50. Saschafrom76 says:

    I genuinely feel that all media and individual people who support the Sussexes, should watch none of the coronation live. None of it. Cover it post- event, after rewatching. I personally don’t care and won’t watchor read one thing until it’s completely over. I wish we all would so their numbers would be embarrassingly low.

    • Paulkid says:

      I agree with this. Charles is unpopular, as is the monarchy in general. Perhaps the media will stop shoving the Conanation, (my favorite term thusfar) at us, if we treat it as blank space.

  51. Puppy1 says:

    Con-a-Nation

    • Serenity says:

      💯👆 @puppy: I like this one a lot!!

      But oh my God, this *family*. I feel so sorry for the people of the UK, being forced to submit and pay for such horribly cruel *humans* (this is debatable). They STILL don’t understand that the world is watching Charles do this 💩 to his own son.

      • Lady D says:

        And flashing the gold carriage around town. At today’s gold prices, that coach could gift every one of those 66 million people $3+ million each. Every Single Person.

      • Mary Pester says:

        Believe me there are a lot of people in the UK who are sick to the back teeth of this motley crew. Why should our tax money be used to subsidise one of the wealthiest families in the world, when we have families relying on food banks, (even our doctors and nurses), we have people and the elderly having to decide whether to eat or heat their homes and this bloody useless shower are draining the public purse for nothing more than one big vanity project. Their tame media lackeys are lapping it up but I for one would love that bloody balcony to collapse (without the little ones on it).

    • Jojo says:

      Con-a-Nation

      That’s the one.

      I’m a mixed-race British woman. Born & bred here.

      …but where am I REALLY from some people might ask (and they do)…. yeah, still the UK unfortunately 😂…

      Anyway, I am simultaneously disgusted, embarrassed and mortified by what the POS KC, his pug-ugly, Diana torturing mistress and Diana’s eldest son are doing (because it’s still, unbelievably ongoing) to Harry and even more so to Meghan. I’ve been so sadly ashamed of my country throughout the relentlessly cruel palace, press & sycophants’ displays of elitist, racist, gaslighting, misogynistic vitriol.

      Since reading Spare ‘conned’ is exactly how I feel as a taxpayer. Con-a-Nation describes exactly what this institution the gutter press and Royal ‘journalists’ have been doing their entire existence.

      Harry and his family shouldn’t even consider soiling their shoe leather setting foot on any balcony that these evil minded frauds and popinjays frequent.

  52. Milo's Mom says:

    The royals are using (and will continue to use) Harry and Megan to distract from the financial cost of this sordid spectacle. The british government will use the coronation to distract how much of a mess the country is in. And the disgusting media will report on it all in order to make lots of ££££

  53. TIFFANY says:

    Chucklenation.

    That’s my suggestion.

  54. AmelieOriginal says:

    If the only people on that balcony are Charles, Camilla, the Wales, and their kids, then it’s just a repeat of the Jubilee minus the Queen? The entire family is excluded, not just the Sussexes. But of course the British tabloids want to make it all about them.

    We could just call it the Catastrophe Weekend and be done with it, because that’s what all this Coronation nonsense is basically.

    • Dee says:

      Corona-weekend

      • AmelieOriginal says:

        I was actually thinking of covid/coronavirus and coronation haha. It is called coronavirus because corona means crown and the spike proteins which give the virus their appearance look like crown-like protrusions!

      • Feeshalori says:

        I said something similar upthread with corona fest, but this works well too.

  55. DrinkerOfTea says:

    The Cornetto. Like the ice cream treat.

  56. RJ says:

    My vote is for Chucklefest! (upthread)

  57. EZBurns says:

    The only thing I can come up with this the Brat in a Hat Ball

  58. aquarius64 says:

    There has to be a worry in US networks if Americans will watch the Coronation, especially after the drop of Spare. Face it, the Windors don’t look good. Having Harry on guarantees ratings for the network. Harry puts the condition no redo of Spare, Archie gets a birthday shot out.

    • Becks1 says:

      I would be surprised if a lot of Americans watch it. I can think of a few people I know who would probably watch the whole thing, but most other people who have ANY interest in it will just wait to see clips later, or go on social media to see what people are wearing etc.

      I don’t think that many people will tune in to watch the whole thing over here. It just sounds boring and unnecessary.

      • Lorelei says:

        I think it’s just like the Queen’s funeral: people (well, Americans at least) will pay attention not because they particularly care about the participants, but because it’s a huge historical event. And many are still drawn to the (I hate this word by now) pomp. But only a small group of heavily invested people will watch the entire thing, and absolutely no one wants to hear about this crap for a full THREE DAYS. I imagine most people will tune out as soon as the crown is placed on Chuck’s head.

        It will be interesting to see what the turnout is like for the BIG street parties KFC is hoping for.

      • WiththeAmericann says:

        I’m sure that is exactly how it will play out. many who do watch it will be because the channel they’re watching will cover it.

        But for myself and I’d imagine others who were never royal watchers before, I’ve only watched a few royal events live. There is absolutely no one to tune in for in this mess, no one interesting, no one with great fashion sense.

        A meh production.

    • Emily_C says:

      I’ll see clips maybe. I only watched part of the funeral to see Harry and Meghan, and I turned that off and went back to bed pretty quickly. No way am I staying up late or getting up early for this nonsense. Even if it was at a time I’m normally awake — meh, not interested. British “pomp” is so dull.

    • Agreatreckoning says:

      @aquarius64, could you explain further why there ‘has to be worry in US networks if people will watch the Coronation’? IMO, the worry is on the BRF & BM that they may not have an active US viewership or general interest. Could be wrong. I believe a lot the different network commentators are concerned if they get the short straw and have to cover the coronation.

      May 6th is also Kentucky Derby Day. It’s huge. A lot of Americans are spending time getting ready for Derby parties. Most major networks are talking about it, interviewing people and sharing Derby Day recipes throughout the morning. Derby Day has had global coverage for a long time. NBC has the contract for the Derby races coverage(Friday and Saturday). I’ve turned the tv on at 6am on Derby Day and have seen the techniques to make a proper Mint Julep, Hot Brown sandwich and burgoo.

      OMG, if the Sussexes were to be in a private box at the Derby with their adorable children-that would be the big get. I would pay some money to see that happen. The last royal to be at the Derby was in 2007. The Queen. Now I’m dreaming. Would love to see/hear someone ask Harry how he felt about his father’s coronation and Harry responding, “Absolutely thrilled.”. Like them assholes answered upon H&M’s engagement.

  59. Lizzie says:

    The media will lie of course, but I really don’t think the coronation will be anywhere near as big a deal as the Jubbly. It’s just a fact that Charles has never been as popular as his mother, and many people will never forgive Camilla. I have a feeling it could approach Kate’s Keen Christmas concert level of dud.

  60. kelleybelle says:

    He really is a cunt, isn’t he?

  61. RoyalBlue says:

    Possible names:

    The Colon-ation. Cause it’s full of $h*t.

    Charles’ big big party. Because he gets to have nice things too.

  62. MsDoe says:

    This Chuck Fest is such a bad look; it’s so tone deaf and inappropriate, the only reason that H&M would associate themselves with it is love and devotion to CIII and family, which is non-existent judging from the recent funeral. CIII crossed the line with what he said to Harry about Meghan being unwelcome at Balmoral. CIII hasn’t fixed that, and never will, because he it too weak and is being led by Camilla, who has a superiority complex and a mean streak a mile wide.

    Harry and Meghan are unlikely to attend, and all the focus will be on them not being there, instead of on CIII and Camilla. The Firm doesn’t have the emotional intelligence to resolve this in a way that will make the BRF look good. And that’s the point. It will be a major flop, with low enthusiasm, low attendance, but high costs in a time of great suffering for so many.

  63. trillion says:

    How timely, with the “Year of the Nepo Baby”, which literally describes the entire concept of “royalty”.

  64. Izzy says:

    I’d be really surprised if Harry and Meghan went to the Clownfest Coronation, but if they do, I hope Meghan shows up in a bold, bright hue. Turquoise. Or purple. Or red. But no more beige, or greige, or camel, or whatever. No more trying to dim her light to please those pasty, dusty racists.

  65. Constance says:

    Charles has done the “mommy doesn’t love me” whine since he learned to whine. Or whinge as they say…but how the British public can swallow H&M being treated the same as Andrew the rapist is unreal..

  66. Tessa says:

    I only hope that the festivities do not get “cute” with a Teddy Bear Skit with Charles for entertainment. Sitting around a table with his favorite bear and having the marmalade sandwiches.

    • Mary Pester says:

      I hope it absolutely psses down ALL DAY they maybe we can get chinless Charlie on microphone doing a “Harry made it rain on me”, well chinless Charlie, if I had my way it’s the only kind of reign you will have

  67. LovelyRita says:

    I think it’s completely idle chat that Harry and Meagan might go. They had to go for Granny, given Harry’s love and respect for her. And for laying her to rest. Harry wouldn’t miss those events.

    But this? For “Pa”? Without security? Or even with security, he wouldn’t put Meg through the mean girl/boy thrashing she took at the walkabout. Kate came at her like the Wicked Witch of the West. That had to be horribly re-traumatizing. She looked terrified and humiliated, all at once.

    • MsDoe says:

      That was horrible, and I would love to know what that was all about, Kate physically threatened Meghan. The look on Meghan’s face…! And the glares and shunning by Sophie et al after the funeral service — that was horrid too. To know that CIII said disgusting things about her to Harry, as to why she wasn’t coming… Just don’t see a reason to come.

      The BRF can’t admit it, but the Sussexes made them relevant. Without them, this will be a poorly attended event, and media focus will be on the Sussexes, not Chuck. He’s unappealing, and an anachronism. His time is long gone. If the British find Willy and Kate appealing, well, leave them to it.

      And have heard no word that the ban on the Sussexes providing their own security has been lifted, so until it is, it’s not safe for them to come. Is there an update on that?

      • Lady Esther says:

        I believe the Sussexes can bring their own security to the UK, but they can’t be armed and they will not receive intelligence from the UK security services/police. Only when they are with members of the RF who have taxpayer funded security will they be protected in the same way. That’s the issue Harry is suing over; he wants to be able to come and go to the UK and be with or without the RF with his own security that has the same level of protection as UK royal security. But I’m sure others will correct me if I’m wrong…

  68. Caty says:

    I would just call it “Chuck’s Corny extravaganza”.

  69. tamsin says:

    Charles is a pathetic little man who appears to not have the character to overcome his father’s harsh parenting and his mother’s neglect. I feel that, because the Queen lived so long, his time has already passed. It’s really disorienting, if not absurd, to see this 70+ year old man riding around in two gold coaches with a crown on top of a uniform in the year 2023. This back to the past thing is really out of touch, and tells the world that pomp and pageantry is all Britain has left- and it’s an empty show post Brexit. Instead of talk abut the role of monarchy in the 21st
    Century, and how it should evolve to remain of service to the people, there is all this puerile talk about who can appear on a balcony. But then, monarchy has never been about “service” to the people, but about its own survival. However, many people still love a spectacle, whether they support monarchy or not, so there will be crowds and cheering, and I hope that warms Charles’s sad little ego.

  70. L4Frimaire says:

    Charles really thinks he can prop up his reign by using the Sussexes and continuing to attack them. Once this coronation’s over, then what? Trooping, Christmas? Is everything going to be about him banning the Sussexes. At some point they’ll just ignore all this. Once Charles is crowned, then what? He is such a petty person, he and that tattered consort of his. Terrible leadership and an inability to move forward.

    • Lorelei says:

      @L4Frimaire, I honestly hadn’t even thought that far ahead, but you’re right. Dangling the “Will they or won’t the Sussexes attend (insert event)?!” is, seemingly, all they have left. It’s their entire playbook. So as soon as the coronation is over, they’ll probably start it all over again re: Trooping. Then Remembrance Day. Then Christmas. Etc. etc.

      The thing is, this is going to get old fast (it already has for all of us here)— especially if H&M never attend another event again after the Queen’s funeral.

      Instead of constantly harping on what the Sussexes are or are not doing, they need to be brainstorming how to make themselves relevant WITHOUT MENTIONING H&M ever again.

      We’ve seen how this brain trust operates, so I’m not holding my breath. Since the Netflix series and Spare were both released so recently; I can see them being able to drag out the Sussex angle for a while longer. But at some point, after a year or more of zero contact from Harry to the BRF, they’ll have to move on. How many years in a row can they keep up this “will they or won’t they attend” after it’s crystal fcking clear that they will not??

      And I don’t think they have a single clue about how to pivot and move forward with the Sussexes completely out of the picture. They’ve tried the “Magnificent Seven” (LMFAO), then the “New Fab Four” with Chuck, Camilla, Willy, and Kate, and both were roundly mocked.

      Anyway, I’m glad it’s not my job to try to keep people interested in that dull, criminal family going forward 🥰

  71. hangonamin says:

    why does harry even want to go? I feel like he should have just said, at this point i am unlikely to attend as it is my son’s birthday and I am no longer a working royal? since they walked away from it all, why even be there to crown another oppressor…and to celebrate what exactly? the monarchy that he hates so much and abused his wife? I read the book and have trouble understanding how harry can say he believes in the monarchy in interviews and supports it but the book is dripping in absolute disdain for the institution. he makes a distinction in the book that he loves his father and the crown he hates…so the coronation is supporting the king and not his father. honestly chuck can implement whatever he wants for the balcony…he probably doesn’t want to have andrew next to him either and used the blanket working royals only bs. you can’t have your pie and eat it to chuckie. easy solution: have Charles come visit him in Cali if he wants to make up and skip the coronation.

  72. TL says:

    I keep referring to it as The Coronary

  73. Lee says:

    I will be shocked if Harry and Megan attend that event, it just won’t make sense at all.

    • L4Frimaire says:

      I can see them attending the actual service as observers but that’s it. Of course it will be a media mess but the Sussexes know the drill with these clowns so get in, get out, get on with your life when it comes to dealing with the UK. That country is giving verge of collapse just before the fascists take over vibes.

  74. PunkPrincessPhD says:

    Panem et circenses.

    Ooops, sorry Britain – we’re all out of bread.

  75. QuiteContrary says:

    Let’s just call it Archie’s Birthday.

    Erase Chuck completely. Because all everyone is going to be talking about are the Sussexes. And all Chuck cares about is getting attention.

  76. Lizzie says:

    If I were Harry, my non-negotiable would-be Meghan wearing a tiara, on the balcony, seeing nothing but smiles from the rest of the family. Make that happen Chuck.

  77. KM says:

    If I were them, I’d ditch the coronation but make sure I was seen the very next week up in Liverpool for the Eurovision Song Contest out of pure spite and petty. And at least the ESC will be entertaining.

  78. Jaded says:

    Weekend at Chuckie’s.

  79. Flying fish says:

    I won’t be watching.

  80. eminem says:

    The colonoscopy

  81. MerryGirl says:

    Kaiser, I vote for “Horrornation” as submitted by @AnnaKist above.

  82. lanne says:

    Charles gets one shot. one coronation. He’s such a weak man that he’s running the risk of his coronation being completely overshadowed by his pettiness, which will look mean and stupid and embarrassing for future generations. I guess he’s aiming to be the monarch that people forget ever existed, like William 4th (Victoria’s uncle). People will remember him due to Diana, Harry, and Meghan, which is exactly what he deserves.

  83. Saucy&Sassy says:

    If I assume that Harry’s conditions have been met for reconciliation, and the Sussexes go to this party, I can’t imagine why they would want to be on the balcony. What they did at the Jubbly was the minimum, but I think they did what was important to QE2. Since I don’t think reconciliation will happen, I anticipate the Sussexes won’t go.

    I keep thinking the ‘White Feather Ceremony’ would be most appropriate, but it’s rather long.

  84. Michelle says:

    After Harry’s horrible family has stirred up so much hate for Meghan and Harry, it is unlikely they feel safe on the balcony or anywhere in the UK. Combined with the fact they would be treated like garbage by the *family* it seems like a long shot they will attend. If KC3 had a brain he would make up w/his son and DIL. In Harry’s book he is more than kind to Charles, William. So sad.

    • Vivian says:

      There is no way they will miss this global event.

      • C says:

        Elizabeth’s funeral was a global event due to her age. Charles’s coronation will not be a global event. Coronations aren’t even global events, they’re big deals but they are religious ceremonies that have nothing to do with any other country except possibly the warped remains of their “empire” and what members of other royal families decide to go, he’s not yet done anything with other heads of state as King, and times have changed.

      • Emily_C says:

        It is not a global event. The sun set on the British Empire a long time ago.

      • Lizzie says:

        Eh, as C and Emily_C point out it’s not really a global event. Regardless, you are implying that H&M are chasing fame through the rf. Clearly, they are doing okay on that front all on their own. Not sure if you noticed Harry was breaking records and was everywhere this month. I do think that the coronation will be shown on US cable news but that’s about it for the weekend. US won’t show a protected days or even hours long event live.

      • NightOwl says:

        Is there even such a thing as a global event these days, with the exception of perhaps something like the Olympics? This “event” is merely a symbolic passing of the torch in a country that long ago, had true global power and influence. Is the passing of the torch in ANY country really a global event?

      • Beverley says:

        Nope. Not global. Americans don’t care that much. Here in America, we don’t admire the Crown. We started and won a war for our independence. Sure, American media will cover it, and people will go to social media to see the photos. But it’s doubtful the broadcast would get wide viewership.

  85. Miss Kitty says:

    Shiny Hat Ho-Down aka SHH as in we’re tired of hearing about mess already?

  86. Choklit_latte says:

    Hello. Long time reader, first post.

    I’m calling it The ClusterChuck

  87. Leigh_s says:

    C-Rex’s White Party?

  88. emi_5 says:

    The Constipation

  89. RoyalBlue says:

    The future’s so white, we got to wear shades.
    Chuck-E-three’s special day.
    The Remainers bore-a-nation.

  90. Paulkid says:

    I have thoroughly enjoyed these ideas! While I think Con-a-nation is most apt, the term Whoranation is exactly what the consort deserves, with the bonus of it ignoring Charles at his BIG, BIG, BIG party. I will always laugh at the balcony shots going forward, Adulterer’s Row!

  91. Mary S says:

    I wonder if Harry could close down this circus by sending congratulations to KC3 and diplomatically indicating that he and Meghan will attend only family functions as they no longer represent the Crown or participate in matters of state. Maybe this could put an end to all of this unnecessary intrigue.

    Just a thought.

    • Saucy&Sassy says:

      Mary S, it’s a good idea, except does Harry want to return for family events if there has been no meaningful talks, apologies and reconciliation?

    • kirk says:

      I’m taking Harry at his word – he wants relationships with his family, not BRFCo. So it’s ok he’s mum on the BRFCo event (Cona-Whora-nation 😝).

  92. NotSoSocialB says:

    The Clowning of KC3.

  93. lucy2 says:

    LOL come on Chucky, we all know they don’t want to attend.

    M&H should spend a quite day in their lovely home with their lovely kids, or go to lunch with friends, or go volunteer at some charity. As if it’s any other day.

    • Lizzie says:

      Isn’t it Archie’s birthday? Have a party and please, please, please release the pic’s the day after the 3-day coronation weekend.

  94. HennyO says:

    Crowing of Chuck the tampon:
    The Tamponation.
    The Tamponade (an exiting word too)

  95. heatherthyme says:

    I hope that Harry and Meghan stay away from this disgraceful spectacle. If they go, they will only be humiliated by the Royal Family in every way conceiveable, as they were at the Queen’s funeral.

    • Peep says:

      Someone mentioned this earlier and it bares repeating. Who said they were humiliated or is this projection?
      Why are people projecting shame on them? What is there to be humiliated about?

      • Emily_C says:

        This. They were not at all humiliated. The BRF tried to humiliate Harry and only succeeded in making him look better. Kate glaring at Meghan was humiliating to Kate, not to Meghan.

  96. Marley says:

    The Moron-ation, if it hasn’t already been suggested.

  97. JanetDR says:

    When I think of all the grace Harry gave him in his book….. 😵 😠 😣

  98. NoKphlyfiremama says:

    The corrugation you mean?!?! Real kingly attitude you got working there, king upchuck. So mature, and wise, and kingly. 🤣🤣🤣

  99. HarryforLife says:

    These comments gave me life today, laughing out loud!

    I love Chubbly above!

    My vote: Coward-nation.

    Here’s hoping the crown falls off his head (literally and figuratively)

  100. Paulkid says:

    Similar to Drumpf’s Inauguration, does anyone else feel that the woke conglomeration of ordinary choir subjects might be because no BIG celebrity wants their name tied to this egocentric extravaganza?

  101. JosephineD says:

    The Coronoscopy

  102. Saucy&Sassy says:

    I still think Chokli_latte has the best name: ClusterChuck.

  103. Lizzie says:

    Let’s stack up the last year. Wails, Flop Caribbean Tour where they got fired live on tv, Earthshot – rating so low I don’t even think they published them, Kate’s Christmas Concert – see Earthshot.
    Sussex, Archetypes podcast – pushed Joe Rogan out of the top spot, Harry and Meghan docuseries – broke Netflix records, Spare – keeps breaking nonfiction sales records.
    Now, think carefully Chuck, who do you want on the balcony?

  104. Sass says:

    This reminds me of the time the high school reunion committee informed me I was not invited to the reunion because I didn’t graduate. I was like “I didn’t ask.” They were so mad I didn’t gaf 🤣

  105. Kate’s Jeggings says:

    Jubbly 2: The Chuckening
    Charles in Charge
    The Nast and the Spurious: Windsor Grift

  106. ChattyCath says:

    Balcony Bore Bonanza Cam n Chuck’s Cheesefest

  107. Caroline Johnson says:

    Cojonation Wee-kend. Because these wee people have a lot of cojones.

  108. Noor says:

    They have always treated Meghan as an outsider… hence the excessive usage of the insulting word “ban”.

    Meghan was banned from…
    wearing tiara in Fiji
    wearing certain royal jewellery
    lining up at the balcony
    sitting on the front row at the jubilee, etc

    They wanted to ban her from wearing royal tiara at the wedding but relented at the last minute to prevent her from wearing Princess Diana Spenser tiara

  109. Noor says:

    What about CoronaX

  110. PNWer says:

    The kkkoronation? My apologies if someone came up with that already….

  111. Feebee says:

    This whole thing is more Coro Street than Coronation Weekend.

    Co-sign whoever said he’s invited, he’s just not welcome. I doubt they’ll be there because Charlie will be incapable of sitting down with Harry. With or without Meghan present.

    All that aside… of course the Sussexes wouldn’t be allowed on the balcony. Why would they allow diamonds to stand next to their dusty cubic zirconia asses?

  112. robin samuels says:

    I agree with creating a name for KC3 to stop giving him traction, and I suggest the event is named the Con-A-Nation.
    Harry has endured a lifetime of disrespect. Losing the respect of an individual he has never met will not significantly impact his life. Supporting does not mean controlling. People should stop projecting their feelings and opinions on Harry and Meghan and let them live as they see fit.
    Engaging in various events on May 6 other than watching the Con-A-Nation is perfect.
    Charles is so tone-deaf. The tabloid media will be the death of his reputation. He’s not a person who sympathizes with the condition of his subjects. NHS workers are striking for lack of decent wages, but he wants them to go and perform at his glitzy coronation. He wants the people struggling to heat their homes and many needing the services of a foodbank to sponsor a street party and clean up.
    The balcony will repeat the Jubilee, but this time they’ll be sure neither Harry nor Meghan will get near that window, though I don’t expect they’ll attend. Harry is serious about accountability and apologizing, and bowing to Camilla could be a tremendous setback. Suppose they’re willing to show that they will not be held accountable nor apologize to Meghan for the brutal smear. In that case, it will send the loudest message to the Commonwealth nations and hopefully the UK’s black and brown subjects.
    It’s time for the British monarchy to cancel the invisible contract and join the 21st century.

  113. Anna says:

    I hope H&M stay home and post a picture of Archie celebrating his birthday on the coronation day. And that this picture will be on front pages, not 70yo man putting a crown on his head.

  114. Cathy says:

    Call it what it is… “a day off in May”

    That’s all it will be to many people.

  115. alexis says:

    If Charles wants to dominate the balcony then he should ban Kate. Kate is one inch shorter than Charles yet she tries to take over every photo by presenting herself to be at least a foot taller than everyone else, other than William. Does she demand to stand on a platform every time to make her appear to be much taller, or is she really over 6 foot tall, not 5 foot 9 inches as stated publicly. The Queen’s jubilee balcony photo, focussing on Kate dressed in bright white and appearing to be massively taller than the Queen and Prince Charles, was insulting to the entire family. In general it appears that 6 inch heels are her standard plus wiglets, which enable her to be taller than most people and to believe that she is superior by looming over the top of the lowly people.

  116. Deanna says:

    CrownFest
    (Rhymes with ClownFesf)

    Could some Brits please explain the allure of a street luncheon/street party.