In Possible Hook Up News: Revolting Edition, Page Six is gleefully reporting that Colorado Representative Lauren Boebert and Sleazeball Representative Kid Rock may have bumped uglies (literally, in this case) the night of the inauguration. Well, they don’t say that outright. In fact, the outlet is very careful to say they have no evidence to support that something definitely happened; they’re just relaying the fact that Boebert hopped into a cab with Rock at 2:30 am, and then letting us filthy beasts run wild with our imaginations. And oh, what imagery that invokes. Please enjoy this hilarious blurb from Page Six:
Perhaps they were going somewhere to discuss the Second Amendment.
Page Six spies spotted Kid Rock and Rep. Lauren Boebert getting into a cab together in Washington, DC, at 2:30 a.m. as the parties celebrating the beginning of Donald Trump’s second term wound down.
While our (rather tawdry!) source suggested the pair planned to, er, keep the inaugural balls swinging into the wee hours, we have no evidence to suggest that was the case.
It’s perfectly possible that the “Bawitdaba” recording artist might have been, for example, dropping the Colorado congresswoman off at her hotel.
TMZ posted a story about the pair the day after the Jan. 20 events, when Rock, 54, and Boebert, 38, were photographed chatting at one of the inaugural bashes.
“Lauren was totally transfixed by the rock star, yapping away, doing a little dance, and clapping like she was front row at his concert — basically giving Kid Rock all the hype he needed,” the site said.
Either way, they have much in common.
Both are among Trump’s most die-hard supporters, and they’re both enthusiastic gun-toters (even by rural Republican standards).
They’re also both veterans of the novelty restaurant biz.
She owned Shooters, a Colorado eatery where servers were encouraged to carry guns, and he is the proud proprietor of Kid Rock’s Big Ass Honky Tonk and Rock & Roll Steakhouse in Nashville, Tenn.
Of course, Boebert’s horniness is legend.
The lady from Colorado was famously booted from a performance of the musical “Beetlejuice,” in part for an amorous auditorium encounter with her date.
Boebert filed for divorce from husband Jayson in 2023.
Rock has reportedly been engaged to Audrey Berry since 2017.
“They’re also both veterans of the novelty restaurant biz.” YOU GUYS. That’s it, I’m dead. Death by understatement. Never has a collection of nine words so effortlessly caused such damage while being assembled in an innocuous-seeming sentence. Plus it’s educational, as I, for one, did not know these two MAGAts shared that in common! Honestly, I can’t believe a Rupert Murdoch-owned publication put out such a snarky article on two Republicans, but I’ll take it. I’d also question why they’re branding the story as an “exclusive”… three weeks after TMZ first talked about it, but I’ll chalk it up to Page Six holding the (alleged) love news in time for Valentine’s Day. If anything happened, my guess is that it was a one night affair of two straight white people basking in the euphoria of their team about to dismantle the American experiment. (We already know Kid Rock was feeling amorous that day.) But should this turn out to be a romance that lasts longer than intermission, I know this is what my late father would say of the match: “It’s really considerate of them to take each other out of circulation.”
photos credit: IMAGO/Annabelle Gordon/CNP/MediaPunch/Avalon, Rod Lamkey/CNP/INSTARimages, Backgrid, Ron Sachs/CNP for NY Post/INSTARimages
That poor poor taxi driver is the person I feel most for here.
Ewww! That’s all I got.
Ew is an understatement, although I’d like to point out that Kid Rock doesn’t actually own that bar. He licensed his name to be used, same as people like Jason Aldean and Morgan Wallen. And he’s actually been kicked out of that bar because he was acting like a drunk asshat on stage there one night (he also stomped angrily out of another Nashville bar last week because he was mad people weren’t excited to see him)
If you ever do visit Nashville, I’d recommend staying out of the bars that have licensed MAGA artist names. They have a really bad reputation of people getting roofied in them.
‘It’s really considerate of them to take each other out of circulation.’ Definitely going in my burn book. Hehehe
Same. hahahaha it made me laugh out loud, K.
Me, three! Hilarious
This is hilarious. They will both need copious amounts of antibiotics and RFK Jr won’t let them. They will have to settle for dog worm meds and A Summer Of Syphilis. Richly deserved.
I was already regretting clicking on this during my lunch break and nearly spit my soup out at your comment. Thank you, I think.
Whew. That cab must have stank. Poor driver.
Grossest couple.
Too distracted with celebratory white trash hookups and changing the names on maps, MAGA hasn’t noticed they aren’t the political movement in charge anymore. It’s the Yarvin tech bro crowd that’s the new right with the real power.
It’s just a fling until she given him a hand job at the matinee of the Beetlejuice musical.
Water seeks its own level.
Why is this even in the news. I get that they’re MAGA supporters but still what two adults do on their own time is their business
Because when you run around spouting family values billsh*t and then hook up with the skankiest of skanks you are hypocrite and should be exposed.
And the award for most disgusting couple goes to….
The real question is did she charge him after the tryst like she is rumored to have done back in the day.
Bet she didn’t even take off her glasses….
Kid probably paid extra for that.
stay classy, BoBo
Good to know, grannies just want have fun too.
Kismet, this article is great, but the comments are a close second. Thanks to Celebitchy for providing it.
Trashiest woman in the USA, most stupid woman is reserved for Marjorie Taylor Greene, and second pastiest man in the USA hookup. Gross and not surprising.
Priceless snark. But I would’ve loved an ellipsis to really drive it home. “They’re also both veterans…of the novelty restaurant biz.”
You can just imagine what super strains of STDs would be combined into one gross connection *shudders
I’m not letting my imagination run on this one, I don’t want to have nightmares about the grossness of it all.