When describing Kelly Ripa, people might use the words “willowy” or “reedy.” An English commentator recently described my favorite tennis player as “built like a drain pipe,” so now that description is rattling around in my head. The point is that Ripa is not a curvy, voluptuous woman. I wouldn’t know anything about that! I’ve been stacked like a brick sh-thouse since my teens. I’ve always wondered what it feels like to be able to wear any blouse, any sweater, any dress and just have the clothing hang perfectly, in an “elegant” way. But obviously, many women want what they don’t have. Those of us with big bazongas wish we were smaller, and ladies with itty-bitty bazongas wonder what it’s like to not feel so flat. Ripa discussed all of this on a recent podcast:

There are no boob jobs in Kelly Ripa’s future — even though she’s been tempted. The Live with Kelly and Mark host says that even though she’s had consultations with surgeons for a breast augmentation, she always gets scared off by potential complications.

“I have no boobs,” Ripa, 54, said on the July 15 episode of the Not Skinny But Not Fat podcast. “We know that I’m flat-chested. It’s not a mystery at this point. It’s almost a point of pride.”

She shared that her breast size did get “mildly” impacted after she had children. Ripa and husband Mark Consuelos share three children: Joaquin, 22, Lola, 24, and Michael, 28. “I nursed what was in there away. So now I just have, like, nipples that hang lower. I went from an A to an A long,” Ripa quipped.

“Did ever make you feel insecure — like, you wanted bigger boobs at any point in your life?” asked host Amanda Hirsch.

“I’ve gone to more breast augmentation consults than I would like to admit. Like, every time I hear about the new boob guy, I go and I have a consult,” Ripa said. “And I’m like, ‘What? What will you do?’ And they always, like, say all the right things and do all the right things. And, you know, because our cell phones listen to us … It pops up. And I scroll through, like, so many horror stories of boob jobs.”

Ripa shared that she ends up reading about surgeries that “turn out not good” or “people that have had complications…It, like, talks me right out of it,” she shared.

Her age — and the inevitability of follow-up surgeries to replace implants as they get older — is another factor, she said. “Here’s the reality, because all of my friends — or a majority of my friends — have had breast augmentation. And they’ve had multiple because, like, every ten years or so, you have to, like, swap them out. So let’s say I get them at 55. Right? That means at 65, I have to swap them out. At 75, I’m on my second pair? Let’s say I live to 85, I’m going under the knife again?“

“I’m good. Nobody’s talking to these except for Mark, and even he seems like he’s on a ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy with them.,” Ripa said. “He’s like, ‘We’re good. I’m fine.’”

[From People]

That’s interesting that she’s gone to lots of plastic surgery consults. She’s talked before about how much Botox she gets, so it’s not like she’s against cosmetic work entirely, but she stops short of going under the knife. While I wouldn’t know what it’s like at any level, it seems to me that the time to get implants, for Ripa and most small-bazonga’d women, is after they’re done having babies and nursing. I think that’s much more common in Hollywood and beyond than most people admit. In fact, it feels like Ripa might be the outlier for her generation/status. Still, I think if she ever got implants, she’d probably be pretty disappointed. Most of her clothes wouldn’t fit or they wouldn’t hang the right way.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.