Evan Rachel Wood opens up about self harming and suffering abuse

Evan Rachel Wood is posting to Instagram using the #IamNotOk tag, which helps bring awareness to domestic violence. She’s posting photos and details about a time in her life she was trapped in an abusive relationship, when she was underweight and self harming with cutting. While I don’t think that Evan has previously disclosed the fact that she was in an abusive relationship, last month she penned an essay about her stay in a mental hospital at the age of 22. She’s gradually opening up about that difficult time. Here are the posts she’s made about this.

That Gucci campaign was from 2010, right around the time Rachel sought mental health treatment and right around the time she called off her engagement to a certain shock rocker. She’s telling us who abused her without using his name. I hope she’s ok now. She’s surely helped a lot of other women by being so open about what she’s gone through. There’s strength in revealing the worst times.

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#IAmNotOk @iamnotokmvmt

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This is Evan performing at A Bowie Celebration last month. Badass.


photos credit: WENN and Backgrid

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22 Responses to “Evan Rachel Wood opens up about self harming and suffering abuse”

  1. Alex says:

    Yeah that is straight up Manson era.

    • SKF says:

      I just want to point out that he openly said some extremely disturbing things about Evan and everyone kind of collectively shrugged at the time. She was 18 when they got together and had been a child star – she clearly had some issues to unpack. It was always an unhealthy dynamic between them – starting with the fact that he was 18 years older than her.

      Then he went out into the world and said he fantasised about killing her every day and everyone just laughed it off as part of his dark persona – because the world is accustomed to minimising and ignoring clear signs of domestic abuse. The following is excerpted from a Glamour article that was published last year (I’ve cut out a lot):

      “The song ‘I Want to Kill You Like They Do in The Movies’ is about my fantasies,” Marilyn Manson told a Spin reporter in 2009. Responding to a question about his relationship with [now] ex [at the time girlfriend], Evan Rachel Wood, Manson continued, “I have fantasies every day about smashing her skull in with a sledgehammer.”

      Speculations aside, Manson explicitly confessed to having violent fantasies toward Wood. He even describes a gruesome pattern of emotional abuse, pointing to Christmas Day in 2008, which he describes as a low point of their relationship: “Every time I called her that day—I called 158 times—I took a razor blade and I cut myself on my face or on my hands.” He continued, “I wanted to show her the pain she put me through. It was like, ‘I want you to physically see what you’ve done.’

      But back in 2009 nobody even batted an eyelash at these overt admissions of violence. People brushed it off as a part of Manson’s murderous image, with some outlets claiming Wood was “smart to break up” with Manson, designating him a “damaged dude,” rather than calling him exactly what he was admitting to being: an abuser. Other media outlets made blithe jokes like, “Anyone got a spare straight jacket?” There were no protections for Wood, little sympathy, and a shocking lack of actual concern for her safety.

      [So he said that in 2009 and they split up in 2011. NO ONE CARED. Those quotes were dug up again by a few female reporters and by Patricia Arquette when #metoo came about and when Evan testified testified in front of Congress last year] and detailed a harrowing account of sexual and physical abuse with an intimate partner. The heart-wrenching testimony was part of a push for more states to adopt the Sexual Assault Survivors’ Bill of Rights Act. Sitting among fellow activists against sexual violence, Wood courageously told the congressional committee, “I was not fine, and I am not fine.”

      [A]ccording to Wood’s testimony, the abusive experiences she described happened “a decade ago” and seem parallel to Manson’s admissions. She recounted “sick rituals” of “binding me up by my hands and feet to be mentally and physically tortured until my abuser felt I had proven my love for them.” The actress added, “In this moment, while I was tied up and being beaten and told unspeakable things, I truly felt like I could die. Not just because my abuser said to me, ‘I could kill you right now,’ but because in that moment I felt like I left my body and I was too afraid to run. He would find me.”… “So often we speak of these assaults as no more than a few minutes of awfulness, but the scars last a lifetime,” Wood said. “Even though these experiences happened a decade ago, I still struggle with the aftermath.”


      So, there you have it. What a piece of sh*t. And a close friend of Jonny Depp who defended him against Amber Heard’s accusations – how surprising.

      I very much admire Evan, I hope she is very much on the road to happiness and moving past what happened to her.

  2. MCV says:

    She was 19 or 20 and he was like 40 so yeah, not suprising. I hope she’s okay now. People are super condescending telling her to name him, she doesn’t owe us anything, i’m sure she has her motives not to.

    • Steff says:

      She doesn’t have to name him for people to know who it is. I think people want some repercussions brought down on him but it’s really her decision to make.

    • SKF says:

      Yeah one of the reasons older men go for very young women is that there is an element of control in those relationships. You are guiding your partner, you have more life experience, you have power over them in many ways. Its very paternalistic. It was very telling that he left a strong woman for a naive, Hollywood-damaged child star in her teens and then turned her into a mini-version of his recent ex-wife. That he bullied and abused her is not surprising at all. I’m so glad she is in a good place now and can speak about it. Being able to speak openly about something like that is a very important thing and a big step towards healing.

  3. dahlia6 says:

    Anyone surprised it was that shithead? Remember when he bullied and shamed Christina Ricci and bragged that his girlfriend was skinnier than her? And now we know what hell that girlfriend was going through at the time. God, what a bastard.

    • laulau says:

      He did WHAT? That is so sad. I find both Christina and Evan, even Dita very talented and it makes it seem like he picks on people he’s jealous of. Wasn’t he trying to act for a while (playing a Native American hit man I think).

    • InsertNameHere says:

      It also brings up some interesting thoughts about his relationship with Rose McGowan. We now know that she had suffered trauma previously, so it isn’t a stretch to think that she also may have had some issues with icky latex pants man as well. It would be unsurprising given the cyclical nature of abuse and abusive relationships. Good for ERW for telling her story – it may help others work through theirs (potentially with the same person).

  4. BaronSamedi says:

    Yeah, it’s obvious who it is so there’s really no need for her to name and shame. There might NDA’s involved since she is carefully only talking about herself. Or she dealt with it on her own and came out the other side to tell her side of the story now and doesn’t feel the need to give him one second of her time.

    I appreciate the fact that she is being vocal.

  5. MoreSalt says:

    Huh, and he’s someone that’s vehemently defended Johnny Depp against Amber’s accusations.


  6. Lucy2 says:

    Evan really speaks up on a number of issues, and I applaud her for that.

    She had a very rough couple of years there, I hope she is doing much better now.

  7. Lucy says:

    This reeks of MM. I remember her back then. She always looked like a fembot to me, and way older than 19. Now she looks happy and full of life, completely different from back then. I feel for her and what she’s been through.

  8. Darla says:

    I saw this yesterday as I follow her on twitter. I don’t know if any of you on twitter follow Imani Gandy (aka, angry black lady). Evan retweeted some claims against Gandy that I found very disturbing. I also follow her, and if these are true, and I think they likely are, it is a real blow.

    • Valiantly Varnished says:

      What kind of claims?

      • Darla says:

        That Imanis roommate is a serial abuser of women and Imani covers up for him, defends him in court, and bullies his victims, including the accuser who tweeted this. What bothers me is she also claimed he owes her thousands of dollars which she says is part of domestic abuse. And I remember Imani talking about her roommate who she said she lets live in her place rent free because he’s going through a hard time, and there was a car accident or something? I think he hit her car, something like that, and Imani did an online fundraiser for him to be able to pay for her repairs. So her story tracks with some some stuff I was already vaguely aware of.

  9. Case says:

    Marilyn Manson, good friend of Johnny Depp, is an abuser? Shocking, I tell you!

    So happy to see that Evan appears to be so much healthier and happier these days. She’s gorgeous, smart, and so talented.

  10. Ferdinand says:

    I didn’t know she even dated Manson.
    When I first read this I believed it was Jamie she was referring about.

    I’m just glad it’s not him.

  11. dj says:

    Oh man. I remember when she dated this abuser. I took one look at her and knew she was being abused. He dressed her up just like his ex and dyed her hair black. ERW looked emaciated and had a terrible vacate zombie look in her eyes. It was bad. I am glad she is in a better place now.

  12. Mash says:

    well…. its kinda weird because she (AND manson) literally broke up manson and ditas marriage to the point where dita in an interview was shaking and on the verge of tears when discussing their affair and how at that time Manson and Evan was pretty much flaunting their relationship and evan had morphed into a baby dita aesthetically. ….all in all i think Manson is douchey and of course abusive, but evan DEF ran towards it continuously at the expense of another woman.

    (All of which this site well documented—during the time)
    I feel sad for her and yet sideeye what they did to dita

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