Tina Brown can be so hit-or-miss these days, but her Fresh Hell Substack this week was well-written and interesting. She devoted her entire column (“How Virginia Giuffre Finally Vanquished Prince Andrew”) to the situation with Prince Andrew, the late Virginia Giuffre, and the left-behind Windsors. Brown spends a good chunk of the piece focused on Andrew’s living arrangements at Royal Lodge, and how he absolutely needs to be moved to some other property, out of sight and out of mind. There’s some interesting stuff about how the Prince and Princess of Wales feel about it too.

But how do you disappear a 6-foot-tall, 190-pound, 65-year-old man in robust good health who has an iron-clad contract to live in the Queen Mother’s former mansion, a short neigh from Windsor Castle and just four miles from the new “forever” home of Prince William and Kate, who can’t abide him? In 2019, his mother, Queen Elizabeth, had already reluctantly stripped him of his military honors, his HRH title, and his royal duties. So this time, he lost the cherished title of Duke of York, plus a few remaining grand honorifics. Now, there is nothing left to deprive him of but his electric toothbrush.

The erstwhile Duke of Dross also relinquished the oldest chivalric medal of Most Noble Order of the Garter, which is marked by a procession at which creaking establishment honorees wear full ceremonial rig, including huge feathery Lady Bracknell hats—an odd sight, for instance, on Tony Blair. But that occasion has zero relevance to the British public, who mostly think of the garter ceremony, if they think about it at all, as some poncey royal excuse for dressing up. (William, who hates any kind of costume change, is looking forward, I am told, to getting rid of the garter flummery when he is calling the shots.)

So, in lieu of a Tower of London solution, unless Andrew can be persuaded to banish himself to a cottage on the Balmoral estate or a cushy villa on a Dubai golf course, his scowly, jowly visage will keep seeping back into the national consciousness.

On Friday, The Times reported that Andrew will not be invited to William’s coronation, whenever that occurs. The thornier question, perhaps approaching faster than anyone is indelicate enough to discuss, is whether, in the fullness of time, Andrew will be allowed to attend his brother, the king’s, funeral.

[From Tina Brown’s Fresh Hell]

Oh, so NOW William and Kate can’t “abide” Andrew? People keep bringing up these 2023 comments by Jennie Bond, in which she claimed that the Waleses “absolutely supported” Charles in his eviction of the Sussex family from Frogmore Cottage. The reason why they supported the eviction, according to Bond, was that Will and Kate “would rather have Andrew than Meghan and Harry as neighbours.” Now, the truth of it is that Will and Kate were already gunning for Royal Lodge for themselves, because Adelaide Cottage was always supposed to be the temporary solution for the issue of Kate’s separation house.

Anyway, I think Brown’s comment about King Charles’s funeral is an interesting one – will Scooter King allow Andrew to attend his brother’s funeral? You know what, I would actually be on Scooter’s side if he banned Andrew from all family funerals. It’s literally the least Scooter could do.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.