34 year-old rocker Alanis Morissette has a new interview in People Magazine in which she gives some pretty candid answers about her life. She won’t go into specifics about who the songs are about on her latest album, but says that “some are obvious.” Morissette sounds happy and at peace with things and although she doesn’t talk about her current boyfriend she does talk about how she “was loving women up” when she was in her 20s, calling it “an experimental stage.”
Thinking back to your kiss with Sarah Jessica Parker in Sex and the City, did you ever think, “Screw men, I’m going to date a woman”?
Yeah! I went through my experimental stage in my 20s where I was loving women up. I actually think it’s a rite of passage, [but] there’s some great growth and healing for me in dating a man.Tell us about the new man in your life.
Everything is slower and much gentler. Really it’s less about who shows up and more about where I am.You’re 34. Do you still want kids?
I always imagined having kids in my late 30s. I’m in no rush.There’s been some scrutiny about your weight lately. Having moved past your bulimia and anorexia successfully?
I know a lot of people – because I had a record out at 19 – are used to one thing. I feel very feminine and comfortable in my own body, but I have to stop taking feedback.
[From People Magazine, print edition, July 28, 2008, via ONTD]
There’s a real theme of taking it easy and taking time to heal in this interview, and Alanis seems to come back to those subjects often. The changes in the artist are also reflected in her music. She said that her music is softer and more sensitive now because she deliberately worked on not writing angry songs and not being upset in general:
You really got in touch with your sensitive side on these songs
Anger is so easy for me. Not immediately going to rage was huge. I eventually hot there. [laughs] I don’t write for the sake of revenge. If I wanted to seek revenge I could come up with a lot of sh**ty things.
I like how she said that the public has expectations of her body size based on knowing her for 15 years and that she’s not the same person she was then. She’s not angry or super skinny anymore and she seems really content with that.
Morissette is about halfway through writing a memoir that focuses on challenges that women face. It will feature chapters that cover themes such as sexuality, self image and relationships. I wonder if she’ll tell any good stories about her “experimental phase,” as she puts it.
Alanis’ new album “Flavors of Entanglement” is not doing that well on the charts. It’s number 58 on the Billboard 200 after five weeks and has sold about 270,00 copies.
Alanis is shown shopping in Cologne, Germany on 7/10/08. Credit: WENN. She is also shown performing in London on 6/19/08. Credit: WENN/Ben Yacobi
I love how people just assume they can have kids in their late 30’s, and they won’t have any fertility problems.
That’s true – the fertility isn’t always there. Having been to fertility docs myself, here’s a little known fact: Caffeine consumption (think coffee especially) will stop ovulation. I stopped the coffee, got pregnant the next month. So simple, yet hardly discussed by many fertility docs. They want to stick you straight on Clomid to stimulate the ovaries. And of course, obesity will stop ovulation too, a big problem in this country in particular. The fertilty pharmaceutical makers are in hog heaven, so to speak, with all the heavy women seeking treatment when the answer is as natural as losing weight to produce ovulation.
Alanis rocks. Literally. The new album is actually surprisingly good, IMHO.
megan, what is to you?! what an incredibly obnoxious thing to say!!! and from a woman!
actually sassyspank, megan is right. Even though medicine makes it ‘easier’ to have children- the older you are the harder it is. I didn’t find that terribly obnoxious.
Yes, I am a woman and yes I have children.
I don’t understand why folks are having children so much later on in life. I certainly don’t want to be 60 when my kid is just going into college?? Ugh.
That whole “experimental” thing irks me. Not the act itself, or the interest in experimenting. BUT, my gay and lesbian friends have had to deal with many a hearthache over people who “experiment”. It’s possible that she only tried it with others who were experimenting too, or those just interested in a fling. But I worry that the cavalier attitude towards it will encourage others to think that it’s a normal right of passage. But it can really mess with people’s hearts.
Sorry sassyspank, I’m with Megan. If you have to have science help you, you’re too old to be having babies. I hate the attitude of “I’ll just wait till I’m done partying and having fun and being immature, I’ll be able to take drugs and have procedures and still have babies so I’m in no rush.”
Shane, are you a male or female? In other words, should I stop drinking soda, or make my fiance stop drinking coffee?
“I don’t understand why folks are having children so much later on in life.”
I had my kids at 33 and 35. I do envy my friends who had theirs at 25. But it took me that long to get the right guy in place. I figure it’s better for the kids to have slightly older happy committed parents than a struggling young single mom.
And what’s wrong with having the kids start college when I’m 60? If I follow my aunts’ lead, I’ll be heading back to college for another degree myself. You don’t need to be done your life when you’re 60.
But wif, that’s what your 20s are FOR, experimenting and getting your heart broken.
(Sorry for all the commenting) BUT Elisha what about science helping a 25 year old have a baby? Is that okay? Where do you draw the line, 30, 35, 40?
I do understand your point though, some people postpone children for very selfish reasons, but your post isn’t very compassionate. If a woman wants to have children and can’t, then (having known many and seeing the anguish they go through) I can only feel sad for her. Not think that she deserved it.
Wow Shane. I’m impressed you know so much about…ovulation.
It’s true though. And they did a recent study that a lot of plastic residue has affected fertility so much in the last 40 years. I’ll have to pick up that magazine if I can remember the name of it. And chances are that she won’t have any problems getting pregnant later on in her thirties.
I loved her “My Humps” parody. Being a nineties child I remember my Canadian friend I met in Daytona, Florida had her tape and we would play it on my oh so cool boombox at the time and drive everyone in the hotel bonkers. Ah memories.
Well I want to have kids one day (I’m 26) but I don’t think I can cut out coffee. Me or my fiance. And I’d like to have kids sooner rather than later, but my mom was 37 when she had me. I was a “surprise” baby & she didn’t have any problems with me at all.
Yawn…
She was never that great to begin with. I am not surprised her latest is not selling well. I don’t understand what people like about her; she is just not very talented.
Isn’t the lady who is having Clay Aiken’s child like 50? Mini Driver is 38, Halle Berry is 41…It’s become the norm. Women have come along way from being 15, barefoot and pregnant…I think its more money driven now, women are putting career first, and especially in an environment when looks are EVERYTHING..More power to them, have children whenever you are ready, just as long as you can give them the attention and love they need – that is all that matters.
Yeah SO selfish to wait till you are in a stable relationship and have the financial means to support a child not to mention the maturity. These comments are exactly why less people should have children…maybe your stupid genes should not be passed on.
. . . I don’t understand. Why is it selfish to wait and have a child after you’re done “partying . . . and being immature”?
While there is everything right about waiting until one is financially secure and feeling like one is in a stable secure and loving relationship, there comes with age, the increased risk of having a child with downs syndrome, spinabifida (sp?). At 32 (which I considered fairly young), my odds were really high and that was really scary.
That’s my only concern about having babies late in life.
I didn’t find the right guy until I was 32, and we got married when I was 35. That’s just the way it worked for me. So, Jann, I know the risks, and they’re scary. But the odds are still in my favor. Life is about risk and tradeoffs, and too many people don’t seem to recognize that. I guess I could have tried to have a child in my twenties just on principle, but off the top of my head I’m not sure what that principle would have been.
Back to the main topic, hopefully Alanis won’t have any problems with meeting her life goals. I don’t have strong feelings one way or the other, but I certainly don’t wish fertility issues on anyone.
Also, I forgot to mention that the older our female bodies get, the harder it is for them to ‘bounce’ back if you know what I mean. We were meant to have babies earlier rather than later. That’s just my view- I know we all share differing opinions on the matter.
When I am 60, I plan to be enjoying my grandchildren, and traveling- not taking my kids to college. I never thought life ended at 60, but ya ain’t getting any younger.
and is now going through a period where she’s willing to say anything to make headlines.
Sorry if I offended anyone, I just find it funny now how women assume they’ll be able to get pregnant easily when they’re in their late 30’s, especially when there’s so much evidence that suggests after you’re 35 your fertility decreases significantly. It’s great if it happens naturally, but I think some women are in for a shock when they wait until their late 30’s to get pregnant and then find that they can’t.
Some women are in for a shock, Megan, and plenty of others already know about decreased fertility with age. Maybe it’s an issue of tone rather than message.
Can’t…stop…commenting…
Firstly, yeah, geronimo, you’re right. I wish I had more abandon in my 20’s. I just always feel bad for my friends who think that they’ve met someone really great only to have them say, “sorry, I was just experimenting.” This has happened time and again to them. It’s rough.
Secondly, the other negative thing about waiting late to start the family is that apparently the body at 40ish year old woman lactating for the first time is ripe for the start of breast cancer. I read a three page article about it in the Toronto Star about 3 years ago (sorry I don’t have any more specific data than my memory.) It’s something about the hormonal changes at that time of life paired with consistency differences in the 1st time pregnant breast tissue. What a time to get a diagonosis, when you’re first expecting! And then to have to make decisions about chemo and radiation while you’re carrying a new baby that you’ve waited so long for. Brutal!
I know it sounds like I’m flip flopping on the issue (from my previous posts) I just think that the person’s right to wait should be respected BUT accurate medical information should be common knowledge rather than just making the assumption that because movie stars get pregnant at 41 that it’s the best choice for everyone.
Who wants to bet money on whether I’ll comment again or not 😉
the whole right of passage, experimental phase thing irks me a bit. i’m sure it’s not her intention, but it’s comments like this that end up giving the impression that female homosexuality isn’t legitimate. as a queer girl, i find the idea that it’s a phase i’ll grow out of rather offensive.
Megan, I am with you. Many women forget that u like men we don’t produce eggs throughout our life. We are born with all the eggs we will ever have. We are meant to progreate in late teens and early 20s (from a biological stand point). This whole, my career, my time, my success…well notice it all has to do with “me.” Mother nature doesn’t give two licks about finding yourself. So if you do need “me” time be realistic about it and do not indulge too much or you will be the woman on Oprah crying because you have a wonderful income, home, life and no babies to fill it. It is quite sad.
Re: the whole caffeine debate: Elisha, please ask your doctor for specifics re: consumption of caffeine and not a message board- this will avoid bullshit answers.
That said, when I got pregnant it was fast (we did not long at all and I am 34) but I asked my dr. about continuing to drink coffee. It was fine, in moderation. One, two cups a day would be no harm to the baby. Drinking coffee/caffeine is not solely responsible for difficulty conceiving. There are so many factors involved. So use moderation (again, my dr. gave this advice) and no need for you or your fiance to go cold turkey there.
Back in the day my parents and grandparents drank coffee all the time, drank wine, etc. and some of them smoked and they did not have as many problems with fertility issues it seemed. I think maybe other environmental factors could be responsible for that now, who the hell knows.
I have four kids, and that includes a set of twins. I had all of them by the age of 28. I’m a good parent and I’m glad I had them when I did. One of my good friends just had her first at 42. And that is up to her! I’m not going to start slagging her for having her child later in life. Its whenever you think you are ready, not when other people or society in general does.
At 42 my oldest two are grown, my twins are almost 14. I’ve had a lot of fun in my thirties and early forties…
Alanis rocks…always has, always will.
People can live their lives the way they want, if she wants to wait until she’s fifty to have kids that’s her biz. No one else has to raise those children but Alanis and partner, and in the end its her life. Same goes for all of us…
What I’d like to know is how you make a leap of logical thought from when someone says “I’m going to wait until I’m in my late thirties to have children…” to “Oh well…you might not be able to, you might have fertility problems…don’t just assume you can!”
How informative and supportive…
WTF…..if it’s not weight it’s breeders! STFU……..
Gosh, this post is like the feminist movement never happened. I was unaware that by going to college and not having kids at 22, I was going against nature by not toting around a baby. Who knew?
I’m sure she is well aware of the risks of waiting until later in life to have a baby. I’m also sure she has heard of something called ‘adoption’ if she can’t get pregnant.
“This whole, my career, my time, my success…well notice it all has to do with “me.” ” – KPC
I kind of figured that it would be a good idea to have a job and a house before popping out a baseball team of babies. Who knew that being responsible was selfish?
Why does she even need to be skinny? She doesn’t, all she needs to do is be herself.
Or have kids? I don’t have any and I’m already 30. I don’t get people having kids in their 20’s. They’re still kids and figuring themselves out. I am still doing that too.
Meg…haaaaaaaa-I’m laughing cause it’s true.
Sorry I wasn’t more clear regarding the role of caffeine in fertility.
Caffeine suppresses ovulation in some women.
Give up the coffee/ soda/ chocolate, you might just get pregnant. It worked for me.
All those women you see getting pregnant in their early forties probably had IVF help. Women you see getting pregnant in their mid-forties had an egg donor. That is- they had to use the egg of a much younger woman in order to conceive. I’m an IVF nurse, and you’d be surprised how much of older Hollywood has had “help”.
Hey, just saw the thread. So, to respond – the part that really f’ing irritated me was the “I love how people just assume” they can get pregnant in their late 30s remark – totally obnoxious!!!
My mother had me at 35. A close friend of the family had her first child at 41 and the second at 43 — Perfectly healthy children! I do think that if you’re going to have kids, that it’s best for all involved not to wait too late . . . for a variety of reasons. But it really ticks me off when I hear comments like the one I responded to – basically saying women better hop to it, or say bye bye to the chance of having kids by a certain age. Men don’t have that limitation, do they? Anytime before 43 is perfectly acceptable – and if you have a problem with it, then don’t have one.
Bonjour, I think you might want to read this PR over at http://www.prlog.org/10512741-comparing-spinal-cord-injuries-above-and-below-the-age-of-70.html
Can’t find information like this all the time. Good stuff.
::Gasp:: elisha: I hate the attitude of “I’ll just wait till I’m done partying and having fun and being immature, I’ll be able to take drugs and have procedures and still have babies so I’m in no rush.” How about, I will wait until I am finished with my education and am settled in my career? How about I will wait until I am finished with medical or veterinary school, start working, and am financially stable enough to support a child? Just because someone does not want to have kids young does not mean that they are out partying and being immature.
I think it’s funny that you’re all passing judgement on someone elses life.. as long as it’s a safe environment for a child to be raised who the hell cares at what age she wants to have a baby or ADOPT a baby if she can’t get pregnant. There are so many ways to have a child these days it’s not your place to tell women at what age and in what way they can have their child. Mind your own damn business..