This week’s tabloids and competing stories


The National Enquirer: Lisa Marie’s secret shame
This week’s National Enquirer has Lisa Marie Presley on the cover about her “secret shame.” The article is about Lisa Marie’s half-brother, who reportedly has a drug problem, and is the son of recent Dancing with the Stars contestant Priscilla Presley. Navarone Garibaldi lives in a filthy rented house in the woods on Boulder Creek, California, where he grows pot and is said to smoke a lot of it along with smoking heroin. The Enquirer has photos of his house featuring drying marijuana hanging in the closet, a growing room in the basement, and dirty dishes in the sink. This is Lisa Marie’s third Enquirer cover since March. The previous two concerned her weight gain/pregnancy.

Ellen and Portia: An expensive dress for a small wedding
The upcoming wedding of Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi gets coverage in both National Enquirer and In Touch. The Enquirer reports that Portia has probably found her bridal gown, a “cream-colored beaded” Monique Lhuillier worth more than $15,000. Ellen is said to have watched Portia try on several dresses and the two agreed on the Lhuillier design, but decided to take a few days to make their decision. In Touch says the couple have scaled back their elaborate wedding plans to a small, romantic ceremony. “Only immediate family” will be invited, according to In Touch, and Ellen and Portia rethought their plans when their guest list reached over 200.


Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s twins get all sorts of coverage. In Touch has the photos Brad has threatened to sue over, taken with a telephoto lens at the family’s rented home in France. The cover of the rag exclaims it has FIRST PHOTOS (caps are theirs), but there are no actual pictures of the new twins in this issue. This is Brangie’s 8th cover for In Touch since March 31.

Is Angelina happy or stressed after the birth of the twins?
More coverage is given to Angelina’s mental state following the birth. In Touch and Star say Angie is happy. In Touch reports, “Angie’s happier than she has been in months. Now that she’s back home, she’s on top of the world.” Star says the family situation is “joyful bedlam.” However, National Enquirer says Angie is exhausted as all of her kids battle for her affections. They claim she yelled “You are all driving me nuts” and that she’s “overwhelmed” trying to care for the twins and give attention to her four other children, who missed her while she was at the hospital. Angelina is said to be at the center of a “kiddie whirlwind.” You would suspect she’s exhausted and happy, it just depends on which stance the tabloids want to take.

Note by Celebitchy: Please welcome Sammie, our new guest writer. Sammie reads a lot of magazines and tabloids every week and will be sharing some of the lesser-reported stories with us.

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23 Responses to “This week’s tabloids and competing stories”

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  1. daisy424 says:

    Welcome to the ‘jungle’ Sammie 🙂

  2. Bodhi says:

    I know, right?

    Why is the Enquirer chasing after Lisa Marie? Its not like she is some big time attention getter. And I bet Pricilla smokes a bunch of herb too!

  3. duda says:

    If you got it, smoke it!

    how can a rag mag brag about pics they dont have?

  4. geronimo says:

    Looks like my house. Minus the dirty dishes. I never have dirty dishes.

    Are we supposed to be confused enough by the ‘First Photos’ claim on the front of In Touch to mistake that cheap plastic doll in pink for new baby Viv?

  5. CandyKay says:

    Glad to have this feature. Both the Enquirer and the Star block their sites outside of the US, so it’ll be great to know what’s going on.

  6. Anna says:

    Isn’t the Lynne Spears story from years ago? I hate how they put that in the present tense, even if it truly is a horrible piece of news.

    Welcome to the madhouse Sammie! 🙂

  7. Celebitchy says:

    CandyKay go to proxify.net to view those sites – that’s how I check them out because they’re blocked for me too. They don’t have all the stories online though.

  8. Anne says:

    Welcome, Sammie!

  9. Kaiser says:

    I agree with Sammie (Woohooo! Welcome!) that it is possible for Angelina – nay, every woman – to be both happy and exhausted at the same time.

    P.S. I would love to be the one to write those exploitative Enquirer headlines. Examples:

    ANGELINA SNAPS… fresh green beans.
    BRAD STORMS OUT… to get more diapers.

  10. Anne says:

    Thanks Celebitchy for mentioning the proxify website, off to check that out right now.

  11. daisy424 says:

    Great teasers Kaiser 😉

  12. Kaiser says:

    HEY! People.com is reporting that Matt Damon & Lucy are expecting another girl!

    Break out the pink binkies!

  13. Syko says:

    I’m shocked about Lisa Marie’s druggie brother, mostly because the last I recall hearing of him, he was about 9 months old and an adorable fat smiling little guy. Wow! Time flies when you’re having fun!

  14. Mairead says:

    Sad I know – but why would it be Lisa Marie’s secret “shame”? Surely it would be Priscilla’s? Unless NE has a problem with Lisa Marie after she went for them over her pregnancy pics?

    But doesn’t Brad have a right ould Robert Redford head on him in that pic?

    Oooh can I try the headline thing too?

    Angelina Yells at Brad…. to turn down the telly
    Shiloh’s secret torment … over dolly’s lost shoe.

    Ms Z’s secret torment… over whether to invade Poland first or last 😆 😈

  15. Jaundice Machine says:

    I’d love to be a houseguest at Lisa Marie’s brother’s house. Just so long as Lisa Marie doesn’t show up. She seems like she’d be a major buzzkill, pregnancy notwithstanding.

  16. Syko says:

    I agree with you, Mairead. Having a family member be a drug addict is no one’s secret shame, it’s their sorrow. Sad situations requiring much work to fix.

    Love your Ms. Z headline!

  17. Bodhi says:

    😆 Maddox has a secret… love of lima beans…

  18. Snowblood says:

    Welcome, Sammi! Very cool to have a new writer join the fray, welcome!

    Kaiser, I love your headline teasers! 😆 You started a pretty fun little game, now I gotta think up some — Hmm. Thinking…

    So right, Jaundice Machine, Lisa Marie P. totally gives me that vibe, as well. She’s got permanent bitch-face. Very much a buzzkill…

  19. Because I say So says:

    How about this headline:

    ANGIE SHOPS FOR WEDDING DRESS… for Malibu barbie

  20. Kaiser says:

    SHILOH’S TEARS… over strict “no cookies before dinner” policy

    ANGELINA BREAKS DOWN… a cardboard box, for the recyling

    BRAD’S RAGE…over Georgian-style achitecture.

  21. CelebitchyFAN says:

    Uh, I’m a single mother of a 5 year old boy, I yell “You are driving me nuts” all the time. LOL My son now thinks it’s funny and only grows louder and louder with this craziness. That’s why I love my baby so much!

  22. SolitaryAngel says:

    Great teasers, Kaiser!

    Welcome, Sammie!!

  23. Sammie323 says:

    Thanks for the welcome! It will be nice to put my tabloid vice to good use 🙂

    The fake headlines are great.

    Here’s one that could be from this week’s Star:

    Sarah Jessica Parker’s husband caught cheating … at solitaire!

    🙂