I was reading through this profile of Lena Dunham in the New York Times last night for the hell of it. I thought it was just going to be another bewildering, eye-rolly, gushing piece about how Lena Dunham is the brightest, most amazing talent ever, complete with comparisons to Joan Didion (I kid you not), Woody Allen (ha), Dorothy Parker (NO), Nora Ephron (you’re joking) and Helen Gurley Brown (ugh). I didn’t believe it was worth covering until I got to some particular quotes and anecdotes that caught me off-guard. Like, Lena Dunham slept in her parents’ bed until she was 12 years old. She used to hallucinate on Ambien… when she was a young child. And when people complain about how Girls is just about privileged white girls with connections who are horrible people, Lena now says that was her intention all along. Wow. You can read the full NYT piece here (it’s a mind-numbing portrait of privilege) and here are some highlights:
When she was a kid, her mom gave her Ambien: “Once, before I got on medication, I was so freaked out and O.C.D.’d…. But sometimes if you stay up too long on the Ambien, it makes you hallucinate. So I started saying insane stuff to my parents like, ‘I’m a basket of oranges being thrown over a wall!’ And my dad was like, ‘Oh, my God, this is the moment when her neuroses have turned into full-blown mental illness.’ But I was just having a weird reaction. And the next day I went to see a psycho-pharmacologist, and we were able to figure things out. But I think there’s a part of my parents and a part of me that is consistently excited and surprised that I am in any way functional.”
In her book, she writes about sleeping with her parents: “Around 1 a.m, once my parents were finally asleep, I would creep into their room and kick my father out of bed, settling into the warmth of his spot and passing out beside my mother, the brief guilt of displacing him far outweighed by the joy of no longer being alone.” Dunham stopped sleeping with her parents at 12, at which point Grace, who is six years younger, began crawling into bed with Dunham, an arrangement that lasted until she left for college (and resumed whenever she returned home).
Lena’s book tour is going to be highly political: “I find the idea of doing anything but this version of the tour embarrassing. And probably if I examined the reason for that, I would see that I want to make clear that the utterly self-involved, politically disengaged character I play on ‘Girls’ is not who I am.”
Being criticized for Girls’ lack of diversity: “It doesn’t feel good to be criticized, obviously. But I was really grateful that so many people had a way to communicate their feelings and that I had a way to hear them. Still, it was frustrating that some of the people who were defending me had really flawed logic. People were like, ‘There weren’t any black people on “Friends”!’ Well, that’s a problem, too.”
Maybe I’m neurotic in the complete opposite way, because I’ve always loved being alone. As an only child, it sometimes felt like I was conditioned at an early age to amuse myself and love my independence. It would be hell for me to NOT be alone with my thoughts for hours every day. I like the quiet. I hate sleeping in close quarters with someone else and yeah, I find it weird that Lena was SO attached to her parents that she slept with them throughout her childhood and into her tween years. As for the rest of it… Lena exhausts me. I know she wants a reaction, she wants to inspire rabid hatred or rabid love, but she just exhausts me.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
That’s funny she mentions Ambien, because it feels like I just took a dart gun of Ambien to the jugular while reading the NYT’s piece.
LOL!
I don’t know what to say…I’m trying not to judge, but….till TWELVE years old????
Yikes.
The sleeping thing doesn’t bug me as much as the fact that her mom gave her Ambien when she was a kid. WTF?
Yeah now that I’m reading some of the explanations, I think I get it. I never had anxiety or OCD as a kid, so I can’t imagine sleeping with my parents at that age.
I suppose parents just do what they need to do to comfort their children.
I don’t get the Ambien thing, but maybe that’s something her parents did out of desperation, thinking it would help her? I don’t know…
@Esmom – that shocked me too. Ambien for a child. But after having read the article, her parents seemed to have a handle on her needs for medical solutions for her OCD/anxiety issues. But I’m still shocked at the Ambien use. I’ve tried it and I ended up sleepwalking around the house. No memory, just PunkyDaddy relating my behavior.
My 10-yr-old has a cold so was in here last night. She’s young for her age, and very innocent (coddled? quite possibly) and would be in here every night if I’d let her. It’s one of those things that seems strange until you live it. There’s such a range in 10-11 year olds–some have cellphones, running around taking photos, yelling “hash tag selfie!”, others like my kid are still into stuffed animals, Legos etc.
So the little sister (Grace) slept alone, while the big sister (Lena) slept with the parents until seventh grade.
This doesn’t bother anybody?
I think even if parents have a handle on their kid(s)’ medical issues, they still shouldn’t give meds to them without consulting a doctor. My son got hit very hard with anxiety and depression last fall and having experienced it before with him I knew what he needed but it just never occurred to me to “go rogue” and treat him with my own meds (although they likely might have helped him). We had to suffer through some horrible dark despair until he could finally get in to the doc. In fact his therapist told me there’s a shortage of child and adolescent psychiatrists/psychopharmacology specialists because of the high levels of potential liability involved in prescribing meds to kids and teens.
Still, I get feeling desperate to help your kid when he/she is in pain, it’s horrible.
@Esmom – yes, you’re right. I wish your family well. xo
PunkyMomma, thank you, you are sweet. We are in a very good place now, happy to report. Knock on wood!
Lol! Me too, Abbott. 12 years? Omg
They probably gave her the Ambien to shut her up. As for the co-sleeping, why am I not surprised? Everything about her screams “SELf-INDULGENT!”
Why am I surprised to find her having a sibling? If she took up so much emotional and physical space in her parents’ lives can you imagine being her sister? Sad. Exhausting.
I was an only child for 12 years and i used to sleep with my parents too. Until my sisters came when i was 12 and 16. They quickly replaced me!
I slept with my parents as a child but I was an “active sleeper” and got kicked out by my father, I was about five when I was banished from their bed. My parents divorced when I was 12 and I slept with my mother when we then moved into a new house. Then my stepfather appeared and I was kicked out again, about a year later. Life happened, now I’m 47, my stepfather passed away about ten years ago and my 77 year old mother loves it if I sleep with her when I visit. I have seen her through illness and surgery and stuff that had me be in her bed, vs the guest room. I prefer being in the guest room but she was a wonderful mother to me as a child and it makes her so happy when I stay with her. What can I say? I’m a big baby and babies sleep with their parents, especially when they want you to.
Aww. This is so sweet. You’re a great daughter.
I get you, Kaiser. I’m also an only child and cannot understand people who can’t be alone.
As for Lena, I really believe she is just trolling people now for a reaction. I don’t get what is so talented about her at all.
I’m NOT an only child, and I still cannot understand people who can’t be alone.
^ This
This + 1000! I’m the oldest child and I have always loved being alone. Heck, I live alone now (unless you count my cat) and have no complaints.
Yep, totally agree. I have three brothers and sisters and used to lock myself in the bathroom for a bit of peace and quiet with a book. Only room in the house with locks! And to this day I cherish my solo time
Same. Middle child of 3.
Honestly, sometimes I wish I could be alone more often.
I love the Kelly Clarkson lyric, “doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone”.
Me, too. 2 brothers, 1 sister. I couldn’t WAIT to have my first apartment alone. And I still need a lot of alone time.
Oldest of four here and I completely agree.
I cherish my alone time.
Amen
+1 I can never be alone enough.
I have a younger sister and I like to be by myself most of the time. Too bad I still share the same room with her and because of my low salary, I couldn’t even move out of my parents’ house 🙁
I dont get that either and Im not an only child. although I cant say my sister and I were ever close even tho she is only a cpl yrs older than me.
I absolutely love my alone time and my independence. I always need a break in between people activities as well. maybe Im weird but I just cant deal with being around a lot of people for any long period of time or the same person all the time.
I’m right there with you.
Ditto here. I looove time alone too. I have a
very stressful job and so look forward to
silence when I get home. It really helps me
decompress and recharge for family/ friend
activities.
Neither my brother or myself ever slept with M & D and never wanted to. It was understood that that was their room and their time together. We did however, crawl in with Mum early in the morning after Dad went to work.
Okay, can you PLEASE have a talk with my husbands best friend? He’s an only child and I swear, he cannot be alone. Especially once he went to college and was living with a bunch of guys (he just graduated) – he just needs constant attention from other people. I like the guy, but sometimes it’d be nice for him not to be so needy and for him to just go home.
Now, I understand not liking being alone – I was the oldest child of a mother who was on and off work, and a father who worked such an early shift that he’d be home by 2PM M-F then have weekends off. I do love my space though, and enjoy just being alone sometimes. I just get creeped out in an empty house when it’s long lengths of alone time.
I was even unnerved that I had to sleep in the same room with my brother until my teens… Parents? I was in my bed at six months…
Some people are introverts, some are extroverts. My sister is like that, she hates to be alone, while I need some alone time quite often. She’s also much more outgoing than me, she a “life of the party” kind of a person, while I’ll rather blend with the wallpaper. We’re not all the same.
Introvert and extrovert–but don’t forget about those of us who fall in-between.
I’m also the “life of the party” but I need my alone time to re-charge.
I would describe myself as a “social loner” in the sense that I love spending time with my friends but I can only socialize for so much time before I burn out. Maybe it’s because I go full-force when I am social…I find that I get drained if I too that for too many days in a row. I guess I’d say that I enjoy being alone and being around others equally.
TOK, you are describing me to a tee. Social loner is a great term for it.
As far as I understand from the reading I’ve done, introversion versus extraversion relates primarily to how you recharge your psychological/emotional batteries, rather than how you interact socially. As such it is possible to be a shy extrovert or an outgoing introvert.
The main test is how you cope when you are emotionally drained, ie: do you hang out at home alone or go out. I’m pretty chatty and outgoing in social situation but need alone time for my sanity, a good friend of mine is fine hanging out alone but needs social time to recharge.
I had always assumed it was because I was not an only child that I craved solitude.
Me too! I’m an introverted only child of quiet, introverted parents. Being alone was just how I rolled. Not to say I don’t get lonely sometimes, but being happy by yourself is such a wonderful, freeing thing. I love my friends and I enjoy being social, but if I don’t get time to myself I’m miserable.
Me too – also a middle child of 3 and as an adult I CRAVE alone time.
I don’t get what people see in her either. Call me mean, but I don’t see talent, grace, charizma, or anything to attract viewers or fans. I see a very homely young woman who likes to be seen as “different” when the fact is, the only different about her compared to other young actresses is her averageness. When she first started giving interviews, somebody must have told her she was cool for being different and now it’s all try hard to be different. If it’s contrived, I just find it annoying. And yes, sleeping with you parents ’til your 12 is unhealthy and something that you better not start with your kid on any kind of regular basis, or you will end up doing every single night because they are no longer used to sleeping alone and it will freak them out. It’s not that way in every society, but in our society, sad or not, you have to teach kids to learn to sleep alone or they won’t feel safe away from their parents. It’s also not healthy for parents to sleep apart on a regular basis.
She’s very intelligent. Now, that doesn’t mean she has common sense or is well developed socially.
Her show and her act are no longer original. All she has is to make people attack her by saying things she knows will spark a response where she can have the higher ground. Debating is her strength.
It seems though everyone has caught on. She’s saying things to provoke an attack and no one is taking the bait. She’s only seen as a troll.
I too am quite puzzled by Ms. Dunham’s “fame”. I don’t get it. Why is she famous?
Amusing? No. Talented? Haven’t noticed any talent that is striking out for notice.
Dances well? . Sings well? . Charisma and a stage presence? No not really.
Famous because of a network of PR people who market average as “relatable” to others? Perhaps that is the success? Here is what average looks like. Dull, boring, relatable, no personality, noticeable talent or stage presence required,.
Mary Mary
What I consider fame-worthy may not be what you consider fame-worthy. We all have different tastes. And last I checked most performers that sing and dance to entertain can’t actually sing or dance. You can be famous for anything and not actually know how to do those things you’re famous for.
She didn’t really have a fleet of PR people pushing her like others have. She built a following and that was helped by her being wealthy.
And she’s smart. She really is. It may not be in a way you perceive her intelligence, but the girl can write. Her topics might make some roll their eyes, but just look at her feminism essays hat have been discussed here. She has a solid grasp on it and depth to her understanding.
And lastly. She’s famous because she’s created a show with insight to the hipster lifestyle. Personally, I live very close to a University that his a Hipster capital. I can’t stand them at this point, but they are watching. Like I said above you don’t have to like what is popular at the moment, but enough people think it’s good to elevate someone’s fame.
I’m pretty sick of people saying she isn’t talented because they don’t like what she offers. I think she’s trolling us hard for pr/attention and I can’t stand her show, but I can put that aside and admit she’s a talented writer (even though I don’t like what she writes about).
I really don’t think she would have a television show (thus any fame) if her parents weren’t artists with a million connections…she strikes me as the type of person who was always told how brilliant and creative she was as a child, but she never grew out of it enough to make any decent art. She’s an overgrown precocious child, eager to tap dance for her
I really don’t think she would have a television show (thus any fame) if her parents weren’t artists with a million connections…she strikes me as the type of person who was always told how brilliant and creative she was as a child, but she never grew out of it enough to make any decent art. She’s an overgrown precocious child, eager to tap dance for her parents’ friends in the living room after dinner.
MaryMary…Lena Dunham is a writer/actress/producer on Girls, a popular show on HBO, which is a cable-subscription television network. (Thanks, Google!)
Katenotkatie: irrespective of your opinion of her talent, no one keeps a show on TV on connections.
They might receive a pilot based upon connections, but clearly audiences like her if her ratings are any indication, and ratings keep the show on air.
Her connections aren’t keeping the ratings going, especially on a cable subscription channel.
I’m one of eight, and that’s WHY I have to have loads of alone-time now! When I was a kid, I used to go into the bathroom just to have some solitude (I never, ever had my own room). My mother thought I must have a bowel disorder because of all the time I spent in there perched on the porcelain peace-and-quiet of the pissoir, so she used to rap on the bathroom door with a can of Senecot in hand, saying, “Come out, it’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Meanwhile, I was in there reading Pride and Prejudice or mentally designing the interior architecture of the one-room hermit-hovel on a mountainside that I planned to live in one day.
This had me laughing out loud. I think it was the image of your mom /w the Senecot. 🙂
Yep. I’m an only child too. I actually like spending time on my own to contemplate life. I can’t stand it when people try to make me feel like a loner (read loser) for not having people around me 24/7.
I have two older brothers, I am the only girl and the baby, I have been relentlessly bossed around by my father, mother and two older brothers my entire life. I love being alone. I love doing what I want without someone saying, “you should do this or that” or “do this or that”. I love silence. I love my sweet un-bossy husband who has the bossiest mother on the planet.
I used to have nightmares and would often crawl into bed with my parents….but at around the same age (12) i just stopped and I felt to old to do that….and haven’t wanted to since!!!
Some kids are just more anxious and wake up more often I think…
Lena Dunham was pampered and coddled as a child? You don’t say. And yeah Friends lacked diversity. In the 90s. That’s fair criticism but two decades later it’s time to evolve.
She had some serious issues, I wouldn’t call that pampering.
#firstworldproblems. Anxiety/neurosis aren’t uncommon in tweens but sleeping with your parents is extreme (and not necessarily beneficial to instilling self confidence and independence).
bettyrose is right. Having anxiety and neurosis are reasons not to let your child sleep with you, let alone every night. That’s moving dangerously close into the same zone as “my kid has anxiety and doesn’t make friends easy, so I let him quit school and I home school him now.” You can’t do that. You’re pouring gas on a fire. Obviously, she’s grown now, it’s over and nobody died or anything, but that doesn’t mean it was the right way to handle it either.
Also, many children who have anxiety and neurosis have it because their parents are overly sensitive to their needs and cave in to their every demand lest they have a melt down. Part of being a secure child is accepting “no” sometimes. Lack of boundaries, indulging, cossetting makes for children who don’t respect boundaries, won’t make themselves do anything unpleasant or out of their comfort zone. It makes for a vicious cycle.
Bettyrose, Jennifer Justice
OMG. How true this is. I’m a college professor, and it’s only in the last…not even 5 years, I’d say, that all of a sudden “anxiety” has become my students’ go-to excuse for everything.
Unsurprisingly, this is especially true when it comes to trying to get out of oral presentations. I understand that public speaking is hard, and some people may have legitimate anxiety disorders that would require me to accommodate them in various ways. But these would be (and are required to be, for accommodations) medically documented. I have yet to have a student provide me with such documentation. They just whine and throw “anxiety” around like it’s the catch-all term to solve their problems. And they do it in an entitled, expectant way that tells me it’s worked for them in the past.
As someone with a spouse and a close friend who suffer from legitimate, medically treated anxiety issues, I can certainly tell the difference between a student who will, without a doubt, throw up or pass out, or otherwise experience a physical, bodily reaction if forced to speak in front of the class, and one who is using today’s buzzword to get out of doing something mildly unpleasant.
I’m currently in college and while oral presentations are not common here, oral exams are. And I have huge problems with them. I can’t sleep for a few days before them, I usually throw up in the bathroom before them, I once had such sever chest pain I thought I was having a heartattack, and if I don’t know the answer to the first question I will totally black out. Unfortunately, the chance of someone accomodating you in that situation is almost non existent.
Charlie
Oral exams would stress anyone out. I well recall the ball of nerves I was the week of my oral exams during my PhD!
I’m talking about your run-of-the-mill 5-10 minute prepared presentation with visuals, etc in front of your teacher and your peers (my classes are capped at 35, and I don’t really know any profs who teach the large lectures of 90-500 students who find presentations feasible in such a setting). So you’re presenting to a relatively small, sympathetic audience who what you to do well. If you’re afraid to speak in front of a group, this is the ideal situation in which to gain some confidence!
Oral exams don’t bother me. Rectal, yes.
Anyone remember that skit Tina Fey did with Lena? Tina was an exchange student from a 3rd world country with real problems. That was funny, but only because Tina was in it.
Starting with a parent giving Ambien to a child.
Tina was from Albania ( 2nd world country, I believe). God, that skit was funny.
Lena’s “reason” as to why Girls, which I never have and don’t intend to watch, is just another TV show that is devoid of diversity is a classic logical fallacy. X does/did it too so there’s no problem.
Thats not her “reason”. She was admitting her defenders that use that excuse is a problem. Ugh. People that don’t watch her show or get her yet reflexively criticize are annoying. I suggest you watch. You might actually like it.
I like her. She obviously had, or still has some issues, and she worked trough them. Good for her.
Oscar Levant.2
It’s the circle, the circle of liiiiiife
Haha, no one will get your reference, but I’m long in the tooth, thanks for the laugh.
That explains a lot.
That was my first thought too, LOL.
She inspires rabid boredom in me. FFS, where does she get this sh*t?
+1
Is this stuff in her book? Like has she filled chapter after chapter with this kind of nonsense….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz snore zzzzzzzzzz
I dont know what it is about her but she just annoys me, and thats without ever watching her on TV and only reading about her here. She just always has such a smug look on a face, like someone I’d like to slap.
Thank you! That completely sums up how I feel. I tried to watch Girls but found it so boring I gave up. She just annoys the crap out of me for some reason and I don’t find her in the least bit funny.
That show makes me sympathetic only to the boys that have to put up those those girls.
My yougest brother slept with me from the time he was 2, and my parents kicked him out of their bed, until he was eight and I left for college. My youngest daughter slept with her sister until she was 6 and her friend’s mom died of cancer. She started sleeping with me then and didn’t move back to her own bed until she was 12. My nephews 11 and 13 sleep together even though they each have their own bedroom. I don’t think it is weird to sleep with your parents/kids/siblings/cousins whatever.
Neither do I. The norm in our family. Pillow fights, chocolate on the sheets. Scary TV shows.
I think it’s normal in most families, not everybody can afford big houses with rooms for everyone, sharing a bed is a part of family life.
So because there were no PoC on Friends, that makes it…I don’t want to use the word “ok” but to have it be alright in an area as diverse as NYC in 2014 to have just white people in it? I know that’s not her logic, her defenders (she has those?) logic but it still boggles me.
I can’t/don’t watch the show because I watched 2 episodes and rolled my eyes so hard I saw back into the Ming Dynasty.
I have two daughters, my oldest is extremely indepenent in her studies and daytime life, but at night she has horrible anxiety and winds up sleeping with me. My youngest (two years younger) is more dependent during the daylight hours, but come bed time she wants the lights out, the curtains drawn and to be alone. She can’t sleep with a light on (even streetlights outside bother her) and she CAN NOT sleep with someone else in bed. For a twee things she likes to spread out! lol Once, during a rare tornado threat I moved both kids into my bed for ease of getting them to safety should we need to and she layed there huffing for an hour until the warning was over. lol
Her mom looks great in those pics 😉
LOL
My parents would straight up tell me to get lost if I wanted to crawl in their bed..the rare time I wanted too. And as a parent I totally get it and will do the same. So far, my three year old is perfectly content in his own bed. There’s no reason why a child/preteen cannot sleep on their own. Being alone, in a dark room, with only your thoughts is important. To shut down and be alone is, IMO, a very important part of being a well rounded, developed human being.
Yes to everything you said.
My parents were the type of parents that really valued *their time* which included (shudders) time in their bed.
Alone.
Gross.
But even in the evenings after dinner, they would have time together, just enjoying their own company and us kids would be ordered to leave them the f*ck alone.
It was time for them to focus on each other and foster their marriage and I totally get it. In the end, it really benefitted us because it helped solidify their marriage and maintain a solid foundation for me and my brother.
That’s awesome and so healthy, good for them and you. I am extremely guilty of neglecting my husband in favor of my kids. It’s not fair to him or healthy for the kids. I know that yet I haven’t figured out the balance. Sigh.
I was just thinking – way to ruin your parents relationship.
This was my family: We’re all on the on introvert scale, so while we enjoyed our time together, we also needed alone time. And Mom and Dad needed their time. Not that we didn’t have our issues, especially my middle sister, and occasionally need professional help, but I can’t imagine my parents letting any us of spending that many years sleeping in their bed.
We were also lucky enough that by the time I was in preschool we had the room that we could all have our separate space, even if it was a small separate space.
Esmom–I’m having the same struggle as you I totally put my kids first, and it has been difficult for my husband. But mine are still young–3 and 8 months–so I don’t feel too bad about doting on them. I do hope to find a better balance once they are school age, though.
I can’t stand her. There is something annoying about her.
Another only child and raging introvert here. I totally identify with your comments, Kaiser.
I find her really, really boring. Couldn’t even read all the quotings.
She didn’t sleep w her parents; she kicked her dad out of bed and slept w her mom!
Exactly. It doesn’t sound as though her parents encouraged it. She waited until they were asleep and moved in. Historically humans slept close together like other social animals. It’s not surprising that some feel such a strong need for it today. The modern idea of babies and children sleeping alone in separate beds is actually rather odd. Some adapt but others don’t. I wonder if the root is our cultural difficulty with children being aware that their parents have sex? I don’t think that was always an issue in other times and places.
Too many kids, so I never had the opportunity to have a room alone, never slept in my parent’s bed, but I still kind of like her. But full disclosure: I’m an introverted bushel of apples slowly rolling down a hill into an arsenic-laced compost heap, who has never watched her show. She has had opinions that I’ve agreed with, some I haven’t, but she seems pretty smart and mostly reasonable on a lot of subjects and she appears able to laugh at herself or make herself the butt of jokes. Maybe if you don’t have the connection with her to the show, she is more tolerable? Maybe not, it could just be that I have an affinity for those who are immensely disliked, but have done nothing radically bad. Or the arsenic is clouding my judgement.
“I’m an introverted bushel of apples slowly rolling down a hill into an arsenic-laced compost heap”
What the—? You sound like my friend when she mixes opiates with tequila.
I was just riffing on the “basket of oranges” over the wall quote. No Franc-O shots yet this AM. I have to wait for moobzillif to show up and throw them at me.
Lol. Haven’t heard that one, either. Kiddo, I was with you until about the arsenic part.
Ohhhh, now I see what you what you did there.
I was going to ask to mimif to drive you to the ER so you can get your stomach pumped, then I realized that it’s 7:45 pacific time and she’s probably drunk already.
Ah, Kiddo, got it. I’m clearly not very swift on the uptake. Her “basket of oranges” quote actually cracked me up, although in reality it was probably a frightening situation.
“I have an affinity for those who are immensely disliked but have done nothing radically bad”.
Ditto, Kiddo. But I draw the line at the entitled upper middle class.
Whoever gave her that haircut and color needs to have their license revoked. Atrocious.
As for her comments, IMO she is overrated and obnoxious.
I try to understand where she comes from, but she just annoys the h*** out of me.
I want to shake her really hard and order her to stop (although I realize how irrational that is, liberty of speech and everything)
Cheese and crackers, that’s a horrible look.
Yes Lena, of course Lena, you’re so edgy and artsy and special and talented and unique….eyeroll.
My friend’s only child, a daughter, slept with her most of the time after her divorce up until about 12, and even some after. She’s now in college and is very self-possessed and independent, and even started a business on her own on the side which is doing great.
Yeah, after her divorce. She didn’t kick her father out of bed like Lena. Even my kitten is not allowed to sleep in bed with us, neither was our doggie. As children, mum would stay in our room if sick, we never slept with our parents, even as babies.
I agree with you, it’s not sleeping in the parental bed, it’s kicking out her father, bad news.
I really don’t care for Lena Dunham at all, but I don’t necessarily see her sleeping with her parents as an issue. My son is 12 years old and occasionally climbs into bed with me at night to talk about his day or just read a book while I’m reading. He usually falls asleep and then when my husband comes to bed, he just picks him up and takes him to his room.
I think I take issue more with the fact that she was allowed to kick her dad out of bed and take his place. But if he was fine with it, then I suppose not much more can be said. My mom always allowed the same with my little sister (who was coddled and is a dysfunctional mess), and it just made my dad resentful (understandably).
Her only motivation seems to be how she feels. She didn’t feel like sleeping on her own, so she didn’t and her parents never stopped her. Her first response to the lack of diversity question is to inform us all of how she feels. She’s all about her feelings. Doesn’t seem like she sees past anything else, and it looks like no one ever told her she should. That bothers me more than it should.
Edit: Uhg. I tried to read the NYT piece. In the opening paragraph she uses the term “queer poetry reading”. just…no. I’m actually kinda mad now.
Edit #2: She considers her sister to be an extension of herself??? She came out to their parents for her?? wow. There is nothing at all cute or funny about any of this like the NYT is trying to play it. And LD admits that she left out the part in her book where her sister was PO’d about it for years. Seriously? Narcissist.
I wonder if Lena really is as “neurotic” as she seems to think she is. Like did she really have so many problems like that as a child, or were her parents the hippy artists types who fostered and nurtured any perceived problem Lena “might” have had? Am I making sense here? I don’t want to seem like I’m being flippant about mental health (because I am a huge supporter of treating mental health problems), but Lena just seems so fake and made up and overly precious most of the time. It’s like being “OCD” is cool to her, and makes her oh so interesting and unique – she was OCD when she was a kid, waaaaaay before WE were all OCD.
Side note – my only problem with kids sleeping with their parents until their tweens is that it definitely affects the parents relationship. As for kids sleeping together, my sister slept in the same bed growing up, and even when we eventually lived together as adults we’d sometimes still sleep in the same bed for comfort. May be weird to some, but it was normal to us.
I question any parent who feeds their child Ambien. If you think your child needs help, see professionals but please, for the sake of your child, do not give them mind altering prescriptions without good cause.
Nah I totally get what you’re saying, and I think you could be right. She seems extremely fascinated with herself, you do get the feeling she is insisting on her uniqueness. It’s something I’d expect from a much younger person. I don’t think she’s horrible though, just sheltered and boring.
I used to live with a girl like that. God she was the most exhausting person on the planet, always making up maladies and neuroses because then her parents would fawn over her like the precious, dainty and misunderstood flower she was. There was never anything wrong with her of course, it was just embarrassing to watch.
I think Ms. Dunham is very talented but I cannot help but be repelled by her. She seems far too self centered and focused on her personal issues when there is a whole world out there that could use some attention as well. She is like Woody Allen in that regard so maybe I am being sexist for disliking her and loving Woody Allen (his movies anyway.) I suppose she is doing more good in the world than harm but most people do not grow up in such prioviledged circumstances that they can obsess about themselves the way she does. Most of us are trying to survive and have to wait for the navel gazing
ummmmmmmmmm………… is all I have to say
Both my daughters love sleeping in oir bed and if they want to, they can – our bed is huge and as we don’t see much of them during the day we enjoy the company – they smell so lovely and I love to hear them breathe and talk in their sleep. The will be grown up quickly, so we enjoy the little time we have them raelly close. And btw, they (10 & 5) are both well balanced, inpedendent and very sociable. 🙂
This hair cut and color is awfully unattractive on her. I never understood the hype with Girls, I watched the first 2 seasons on demand while pregnant on bed rest last year and I just didn’t get it. I kept watching thinking maybe I had to get a few episodes in to like it and only continued watching because I had exhausted my DVR, Netflix and movie collection.
Also an only child, and I too have always enjoyed being alone and am pretty good at entertaining myself.
Sidenote: That hairstyle is so very awful on her. Honestly I don’t think it would look good on anyone. I would wear a wig until it grew out.
My kids are 14 years apart and both slept in my bed. One till he was 9 and the other now 9 still does. I’ve been told it will bring them “sleep issues” later in life. Both are seriously independent, confident, get great grades, sleep just fine…
What they failed to tell me is that the ones that develop “sleep issues” are the parents.
I do have sleep issues but it has nothing to do with sleeping in my parents bed as a child.
I hate it when a show uses a person of color just so they can say they used a person of color. I’d rather see an all white cast just to avoid the discomfort. Girls had a short lived African American love interest for Dunham’s character. It was so awful and clear she could not write this character. You have to write what you know and she says she was not exposed to POC, that’s why her show is so white. I believe it. If you want ethnic diversity, then choose show runners who are POC or are familiar with POC. I love Girls and am glad it exists, but I don’t think it’s fair to ask her to insert POC into her show if that’s not what the show is about.
I understand what everyone is saying about 12 being a little old to be sleeping with ones parents. I get it. But you are not talking about an average 12 year old here. You are talking about a child with severe o.c.d. and other neuroses. I don’t really think you can lump all 12 year olds into a pile and say they should all act this way at a certain age. I have a daughter with Asperger’s. She is 20. She likes to be alone. The problem is she likes to be alone way too much. She has no friends and she never leaves the house. She doesn’t have a job and college is a real struggle for her. As annoying as sum of you find Lena, at least she was able to find her way and become a productive adult. Sometimes it just takes others a little longer to figure it out.
Sorry, anxiety disorders do not require sleeping in your parents bed until you are 12, it hardly fosters independence or confidence.
The ONLY time I allowed by son to sleep with me was at age three when he shattered a finger joint. I could only give him Tylenol, and he was whimpering with pain. It happened on a Friday evening, the emergency room doctor said he needed a hand surgeon, we found one who would come into his office on Saturday to see him.
Good for friggin you. But why are you judging other people for their choices? Some might say YOU have withheld affection and security from your child by not allowing him into your bed unless he has a broken finger. If I were judgemental, I would say that. But I’m not so I won’t.
F-Me! Ugh I thought I would get my kid out of my bed in the 6 months or so she is 2 1/2 she will be in bed with us til high school
Every child (person) is different and some do need a little more cuddling and coddling but they all grow up eventually and then you’ll miss them trying to weasel into your bed, haha.
Is it just me or does Lena Dunham look like Ishmael from the movie Kingpin??
I can see it.
I just can’t get over the hair. It makes her look like a clown.
One of the most off-putting celebrities in the world. In every way imaginable.
Is that why she’s bat s**t crazy? I wondered. Briefly.
Eh, I slept in my parents’ bed well into middle school. It was only ever during thunderstorms. They terrified me and I could not be alone in my room during them or if I woke up from a nightmare. It wasn’t a nightly occurrence either. I eventually grew out of it. We all develop at different rates. Congratulations if you were no longer sleeping in your parents’ bed at age 8. Some of us hold on for a little while longer. 🙂
I’m an only child, and I was a sleep walker, and usually ended up in my parents bed when I did. It probably stopped by 10ish I guess but it never felt like I shouldn’t be in my parent’s bed, even after they split if my Mom or I were upset we’d sometimes sleep together when I was a teen. No biggie. I like being alone generally though. Lena had major issues though I do get the feeling it was all very NYC uber mollycoddled, the medication thing is tricky because I know it helps a lot of kids but there is no question Adderall is overprescribed in America. Ambien is a pretty heavy drug to give a kid, I find that a bit off. Hyper kids went and climbed a tree thirty yrs ago, now they pop a pill and sit in front of a video game for hours on end. A kid being encouraged to psychoanalyze themselves so much with Lena’s ocd tendencies is not something I’m convinced is the answer. Of course psychological problems require treatment, but I can’t help but think encouraging activities that bring the child out of their own head more, physically, would be possibly as helpful. Armchair psychologist I know, I do think mental illness is sadly misunderstood but I feel like sending a neurotic child to therapy to talk it out several times a week didn’t seem to help Lena all that much in the short term anyway.
My son slept in my bed until he was almost 10 yrs old. I “weaned” him because he snores. He is 11 now and occasionally comes over when he had a nightmare and my boyfriend isn’t there. He is confident and plenty independent in his daily life so no problem.
Jesus. STFU Lena, this crap isn’t interesting except to your therapist. I think Lena is truly talented, and prefer to a Nora Ephron for instance. Why can’t she just speak through her scripts?
I am sure her therapist does not find her crap interesting either.
I always knew that there was something
Seriously wrong with her..