There’s a lot of mean things I’ll say about Tom Cruise. Most of them I won’t publish, but I’ll say a whole lot of defamatory things about him when no lawyers are around to hear it. Apparently In Touch magazine has a pretty similar rumor. They’ve gone all-out and hired an investigator to look into Tom Cruise’s sexuality. And you’ll be shocked by what they found. I’m talking scraping your jaw off the floor.

The magazine’s headline reads “FINALLY THE TRUTH.” And we all know how the Scientologist are fans of free speech and really encourage speaking the truth, especially when it comes to their golden boy. Or should I saw paid spokeswhore. Not shockingly, In Touch’s highly respected private detective (a former porn star, no less) has come to the irrefutable conclusion that Tom’s straight as an arrow. An arrow that’s pointing at another guy’s butt.

He’s been married three times and has also been romantically linked with some of Hollywood’s most desirable women. Yet for nearly his entire career, Tom Cruise has been subject to pervasive rumors that he’s gay. Though Tom’s camp has repeatedly denied the talk, it has persisted over the years, with two men even claiming to have had affairs with him — tales which Tom was willing to challenge in a court of law. Now, after conducting an extensive investigation of the gay rumors, porn star-turned-private investigator Paul Barresi is speaking to In Touch about his findings. “Everything I’ve found and everything I know points to Tom being heterosexual,” Paul tells In Touch.

[From In Touch]

Not surprisingly, In Touch is making us wait until the issue hits the stands to learn all the reasons Tom is straight. I’m guessing it’s going to be like “He’s been married 3 times. Only straight men marry women.” “He likes boobs.” “Scientology loves gay people – if Tom were gay, he’d be open about it.” Tom’s just too… something. It’s hard to put your finger on. It’s not like he actively shows any of the stereotypical traits we’ve come to associate with gay people. There’s just something artificial about the way he interacts with women he’s supposedly sexually interested in. While I love Nicole Kidman, I could maybe excuse that one – she seems a little cold. But Katie Holmes? I wouldn’t kick her out of bed, and I’m a straight woman. Or maybe not. Maybe they should send this former porn star detective after me, and see what my issues are. Something tells me Tom was able to bribe Paul Barresi with things only Tom can provide. Wait was Barresi a gay porn star? Let’s go with yes, that makes this funnier. So happy Thanksgiving, and Tom Cruise is not gay. That’s almost as good as extra mashed potatoes.

Important Note by Celebitchy: This story is a complete turnaround from earlier claims by Baressi. The guy wrote a book, segments of which were published online in September 2006, saying that he spoke with a male hooker who had a bizarre wrestling jerk-off session with Tom in the late 90s toward the end of his relationship with Kidman. We covered this extensively at the time.

Then a guy claiming to be the hooker who wrestled with Tom Cruise contacted me and we had an extended e-mail exchange. He was extremely wary of telling his story and never did in the end, just giving vague statements that Baressi’s account, which again at that time was that Cruise was indeed gay or at least had gay experiences, was not true.

So the hooker guy, who was reluctant and could not be convinced to tell his story, e-mailed me and made hints that it didn’t happen that way and that Cruise wasn’t gay. (Believe me, I wish it went the other way with this guy, but it didn’t. It’s possible he was a plant by someone, but he was so evasive with me, and so unprofessional about it, that I would say he just got scared in the end and didn’t tell the whole story, which he suggested was less incriminating toward Tom.)

I spent a week e-mailing with a guy who claims to be “Big Red,” the male hooker that supposedly had a rather tame gay wrestling romp with Tom in the late 90s. The guy didn’t tell me his story and I kept e-mailing with him back and forth, hoping that he would write something I could publish.

He claimed that the story told by another guy, Barresi that we published here was inaccurate, and that it didn’t go down like it was claimed, but the guy wasted my time and didn’t give any details. Here’s the relevant part of our e-mail exchange. Again, I cannot verify that this is the person he claims to be or that this is anything more than a person who strung me along via e-mail for a week, but here’s what he said:

———————————
Segment of one e-mail toward the end of our exchange: I just do not think the story I have to tell is what you are looking for but I will think about it.

Another e-mail: I am actually looking to build Tom Cruise up not break him down

Last one I received: I’m not getting a good vibe from this at the moment – – I think I will wait and I may neveer publish the real story – – afterall, I believe in Karma and Barresi will have to deal with his.
———————————
It sounds like whatever happened, it was even less sensational than was claimed, at least according to this person who contacted me and got my hopes up about running this big exclusive. (I even contacted a lawyer and a cult expert about how to proceed, which may be why he got a bad vibe. You can’t be too careful with the c0s.) This guy claims to live in Europe now. The book by Barresi says that he left the states after the news of his supposed romp with Cruise got out, but I can’t be certain what’s true at this point. Tom Cruise is weird and is involved in a harmful freaky cult, but whether he actually had a gay wrestling session is up to question.

[I wrote this, it was originally published on Celebitchy in November, 2006]

So now this same guy Baressi is all “Oh, Tom Cruise isn’t gay.” What happened?

Meanwhile Cruise biographer Andrew Morton, who has a supposedly explosive unauthorized biography of Cruise coming out this January, has sold his house and is now in an undisclosed location after extensive harassment by Scientology thugs defending Tom’s character. Perhaps Baressi was engaged in a little character-saving PR of his own, if he’s so quick to switch his story. Maybe the hooker guy was right and it was never true in the first place. Either way, I’ll be reading Mr. Morton’s book with wide-eyed interest.

Update 2: Baressi has commented specifically on this post, and clarifies that he never claimed in his book to have checked out Big Red’s claims, and that it was now-jailed celebrity lawyer Anthony Pellicano who told him the story checked out. Pellicano was a notorious double-dealer, and routinely dug up dirt on celebrities in order to secure deals representing them. I re-read the chapter online of Baressi’s book that I referred to, and he’s right – he never claimed to have checked out Big Red personally, he was just quoting Pellicano, who told The Enquirer that the story wasn’t true, while telling Baressi that it checked out. Our apologies to Mr. Baressi for misunderstanding and misrepresenting his earlier position. One thing Mr. Baressi did say was that “He [Big Red] spoke with such conviction, I truly believed his story,” but once he investigated, it didn’t pan out. We will issue a full story with correction after Mr. Baressi answers some questions we have for him in the comments.

Here are his comments on this story:

To clarify: In first draft of my book, Pellicano’s Enforcer/the “Seeing Red” chapter, I write, “Red survived (Anthony) Pellicano’s brutal questioning. Anthony later pulled me aside and said, “I think this kid’s telling the truth. I find him to be credible.” Just to clarify, it was Pellicano who said this; not I.

As written in chapter, subsequently, (Anthony Pellicano) phoned me at home to let me know, “So far, all the information Red gave him seemed to be checking out.” Again, this is Pellicano talking; not I.

Also, it is clear in chapter that it is Pellicano; not I, who claimed, “Tom Cruise had, indeed, been in London shooting Eyes Wide Shut on the days Red alleged to have been there and that he did have a body guard named Mickey.” And, it is clear in chapter that it is Pellicano; not I who made the claim that (Cruise’s alleged body guard, Mickey) “happened to be currently doing time for murder. (and he told me that) He expected to receive a mug shot shortly.”

If you go back and read the chapter, you’ll read I said, “It all sounded so convoluted and bizarre to me.”

So happens, I was right, it was all convoluted. Pellicano was not telling me the truth.

I conducted my own investigation and discovered Cruise was not in London at time Red alleged to have met him as Pellicano claimed. I also found out that the line Pellicano gave me about the body guard Mickey being in prison for murder was all a sham as well.

My investigation of the Cruise gay rumors continued long after Pellicano was arrested, right up until very recently.

I concluded my findings only a short while ago– after which I decided to give the interview to IN TOUCH.

This will all be explained in great detail in the FINAL DRAFT of book.

[Comment by Paul Baressi on this post]