Kourtney Kardashian defends co-sleeping with her baby

41463, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - Thursday June 10, 2010. Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian finish making an appearance on LA radio station's KIIS-FM and afterwards head straight over to the Jimmy Kimmel Live studios. Khloe shows off her curves in a skintight beige dress and Louboutin heels while sister Kourtney rocks the mama-in-heels look wearing a ruffled beige frilly skirt and blazer, with baby Mason. Photograph: Anthony, PacificCoastNews.com

Did you know that Kourtney Kardashian got a gig writing bullsh-t for People Magazine? True story. I was all prepared to hate on her and her writing when CB sent this to me, but the wind got knocked out of my sails. Kourtney isn’t a half-bad writer. It’s kind of a personal essay, all about how she’s “controversial” for eschewing the popular belief that babied should not co-sleep in their parents’ bed.

When Mason first came home from the hospital, he slept in a bassinet right next to my bed. I remember those early days when he was often up all night and asleep all day. Scott and I would take turns staying up with him, singing to him, rocking him, doing anything and everything to get the little angel to sleep.

I was told that Mason would eventually switch around on his own — so he’d be awake during the day and sleeping at night — which he finally did.

When I was pregnant, a few of my friends told me that their babies slept in bed with them. I remember thinking how crazy that was. Then I started reading up on it and decided it was something I actually wanted to try.

I know that having Mason sleep in my bed might be a controversial topic. But I have to be honest: I just love that time. I especially love how when you sleep with your baby, you breathe together on the same pattern. I’ve been able to bond with Mason so much more. Even if I’ve had a busy day, I always look forward to every night and us spending time together when we sleep.

Mason still sleeps in the bed right now. We take all the pillows off the bed to make it as safe as we can. I try to have him take naps in his crib if we’re home. When we’re on the go, he naps in his car seat and he loves that.

I really have mixed feelings about the whole topic. Some people say co-sleeping for the first two years is good, but now people are telling me the longer he sleeps in the bed with us, the harder it will be to get him to sleep on his own down the line. Of course, ultimately I want what is best for Mason, so I’m really battling with it right now.

[From Kourtney’s essay, People Magazine]

Many, many cultures embrace co-sleeping, not only as perfectly healthy for the baby, but as a must because of space and economic concerns, especially in parts of Asia. My mother told me that she coslept with me, and look how great I turned out? Twitch. Ha, jokes. So what’s the big deal? I think in the 1960s and 1970s, so-called child experts began warning new moms away from it because of fears that the baby would get rolled on by one of the parents, or that the baby would roll off the bed. Plus, there was the belief that co-sleeping might have associations with SIDS, but new studies are showing that co-sleeping might prevent SIDS in fact. My single, childfree advice to Kourtney, for what it’s worth, is to not worry about it when Mason is this little. My take is that when the baby begins to get weaned off the breast, that’s when he begin to be weaned off of sleeping in the parents’ bed. Of course, I have zero clue what I’m talking about, so judge away moms.

40075, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - Saturday May 1 2010. Kourtney Kardashian and her mother take turns with Kourtney's baby Mason during a shopping trip in Beverley Hills. Kourtney's half sisters, Kendall and Kylie, also accompanied them on the family outing. They all went to eat a 'Nate n Al's' on Beverly Drive and then went shopping at Ralph Lauren. Photograph: Sam Sharma/PacificCoastNews.com

41463, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - Thursday June 10, 2010. Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian finish making an appearance on LA radio station's KIIS-FM and afterwards head straight over to the Jimmy Kimmel Live studios. Khloe shows off her curves in a skintight beige dress and Louboutin heels while sister Kourtney rocks the mama-in-heels look wearing a ruffled beige frilly skirt and blazer, with baby Mason. Photograph: Anthony, PacificCoastNews.com

June 28, 2010 - Hollywood, California, U.S. - Kourtney Kardashian.press conference to announce the opening of kardashian khoas store at the Mirage Resort & Casino Las Vegas, Nevada 06-28-2010. 2010.K65272EG. © Red Carpet Pictures

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98 Responses to “Kourtney Kardashian defends co-sleeping with her baby”

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  1. denise says:

    I didn’t know that sleeping in the same bed with your newborn baby was shunned upon. I could see that it may be unsafe but who has’nt done it once or twice.

    On another note, I don’t know how Kourtney can stomach that “man”of hers, he seems so arrogant and fake. He is such a wannabe.

  2. Eileen Yover says:

    Oh man-this is a big controversy and I never give out opinions on something so personal and important but my very close friend recently lost one of her twins co-sleeping. She woke up the next morning and he was rolled up in his blanket with her pillow blocking his face…and was gone. Please please please be careful if you cosleep! It has truly devastated her and she has literally had to learn to operate and live again for his twin sister and older sister to have a mother.

  3. Melanie says:

    in the UK you’re advised to not do co-sleep if you or your partner smoke or if you’ve had any alcohol at all.

    You’re also advised against it if your baby was a low birth weight.

    I loved breastfeeding my son early in the morning then lying him next to me for a couple of hours extra snoozing after my husband left to go to work

  4. denise says:

    @ Eileen

    That is so sad. I am so sorry for her loss. As a mother, I would be totally devastated. My heart goes out to her and her family. God bless them and keep them strong.

  5. Corina says:

    Physically and psychologically it is HIGHLY unlikely that you will roll over onto your baby when co-sleeping. It’s an evolutionary, parental instinct sorta thing (don’t remember the exact name for this but definitely learned about it in my psych classes). Essentially as a parent your conscious and unconscious self is aware that protecting your baby is a priority and you won’t smush or smother them. There is a risk of SIDS but I’ve read that the risk is the same if not lower as if your baby sleeps in a crib. Not sure if that is accurate but makes sense. Anyway I think co-sleeping is a wonderful experience for baby and parents, and if it works for your family, go for it! But yes, remove pillows and excess bedding, put up guardrails, and don’t take any heavy sleeping pills or drugs/alcohol that could impair your basic functioning or normal sleep patterns.

  6. danielle says:

    I also know a woman whose child died co-sleeping. Please be careful.

  7. gabs says:

    As long as you remove pillows and sheets I think its safe. Id do it for naps but not the nighttime sleep.

  8. Sarah says:

    There’s a fear that people can roll over and suffocate their babies, however, I co-slept with my boys when they were babies. Not all the time but a lot. They are 5 and 9 now and still sometimes sleep in bed with me and their dad. Some of the best sleep I’ve ever gotten was cuddled up next to them. I loved sleeping next to them when they were babies. It made me feel secure and that they were safe. I can understand how some people would feel this isn’t safe and there are reports of people rolling over and suffocating the young one in their sleep.

    @Eileen, that is truly devastating to hear. I agree that people need to be very careful if that’s their choice.

  9. Ashley says:

    In her case, its very dangerous because Scott is such a drunk, seriously! No telling how many times the poor kid has been rolled on. She needs to take her baby with her on all trips. I just don’t trust that guy!

  10. Eileen Yover says:

    She only had one pillow on the bed but she sleeps with her arm under her pillow and it somehow moved when she took her arm out from underneath while sleeping. Its a freak accident-but still can happen so if you choose to cosleep, just be aware that something could go wrong. Having the worst possible scenario happen and you loose your child…and you were responsible (in your mind) is so hard to live with-she was on suicide watch. I’m a writer for children items and there is an attachment for co-sleeping that fits right onto the bed if anyone wants to consider it. Just an idea-my friend speaks to mommy groups in the National MOMS Club and promotes it as well. Not trying to be Debbie Downer but seeing what she’s gone through–I wouldn’t wish it on ANYONE!

  11. denise says:

    I second that Ashley.

  12. Jillian says:

    I co-slept for about 3 yrs. I learned to stay in one position all night when mine was really little. It’s great for nursing too.

  13. Johanna says:

    Well most of you already commented my sentiments on the subject so on another topic, I HATE the way they all carry that baby. Like if he was this huge baby they can barely hold.

  14. NayNay says:

    I find that might be very dangerous. The baby could be suffocated by a pillow, or even by Kourtney accidentally rolling on top of him. It could happen.

  15. sdca says:

    please oh please tell me people are not still clueless about this?
    it’s a non issue.
    in fact, SIDS is more likely to happen when babies sleep alone in their own room.

    anyway, whateva….i love(d) co sleeping-and we are a very happy, close family. Works for us!

    To each his own.

    But this neandrethal/victorian era idea that we should all be separated and that babies are so fragile, or it’s unhealthy emotionally to be, gasp!, close to one’s parents via cosleeping-

    Get a clue, people.

    Babies literally respond to mother’s heartrate. This is scientific fact.
    Anyway, i cannot believe this is a discussion point in society.

    Those who ‘discuss’ and worry about it being unhealthy or unsafe, I feel a little sorry for you, actually.

    There are bigger fish to fry in the world, and our modern psyche certainly isn’t the epitome of health, as far as this discussion goes…. Let’s see where co-slept children are in 20 or 30 yrs, same with homeschooled…before we bash it, okay???

    I don’t think freud really had it all figured out.

  16. Larissa says:

    Co-sleeping is all around easier for us moms, however whilist there are many pro´s, the con´s MUST not be taken lightly, the “it won´t happen to me” thought is the cause of most incidents to new and second/third time parents. It´s not because it never happened before there it will never happen!!!

  17. Mrs Odie 2 says:

    There will always be terrible tragic stories like Eileen’s, and those mothers deserve our utmost compassion. The fact is, however, that far more babies die in cribs and bassinets than in beds with their moms. Co-sleeping has to be done safely. Khloe hopefully keeps Mason on her side of the bed, with a guardrail and away from Disick (the s is silent). Daddies, even non-douchey ones, don’t have the same instinctual awareness of where the baby is in the bed as moms do. Not just my experience, also proven by research. I co-sleep with my 14 month old daughter. It makes sleep easier for me. She rolls to me, nurses, rolls over and goes back to sleep. When she was tiny, we had a sidecar co-sleeper, but I couldn’t sleep for checking on her every 2 minutes. When I finally brought her into my bed, I slept easier, hearing her breathing and feeling her warmth. Someday she won’t co-sleep with us anymore, and I’m not worried about it. Most people object to co-sleeping for the same reason they object to breastfeeding: beds and breasts are for SEX! How do you have SEX with a baby in the bed??? Our culture prioritizes the sexual needs of men above the needs of children and families. My husband and I kove our “Family Bed” and we have sex about as much as your average couple with a 1 year old. Just not when she’s in the bed.

  18. judyjudy says:

    I know several parents whose babies died in cribs.

  19. Twez says:

    I happened across an episode of HBO’s “The Autopsy Files” several years ago where Dr. Baden determined that the reason the poor devastated woman who was the subject of the show had lost three (!) infants was because of rolling over on them during co-sleeping. I’ll never forget the look on that woman’s face when she realized what he was telling her. That being said, I do realize it is a complicated issue with pros and cons on both sides. I’d like to think all parents are responsible enough to realize whether or not they are good candidates for co-sleeping, but I’ve also seen people completely ignore evidence that their sleep patterns are significantly different than what they believe. I don’t know.

  20. bellaluna says:

    We’ve been co-sleeping with our one-year-old off and on since we brought him home from the hospital. Because my husband is a sound sleeper, when the baby was still very small, I slept in the middle of the bed and put the baby on my side, between me and a body pillow. I’m a very light sleeper, so I don’t feel my little one is in any danger by being in bed with us.

    Since he’s now 1, I nurse him to sleep and we then put him in his crib (usually!) – with the monitor on, of course.

    @ Mrs. Odie 2 – You’re so funny! I’d say we have more sex than the average couple (with or without children), also not with the baby in our bed. Aren’t some people so weird about this stuff?

  21. Jeri says:

    Some friends of mine had their baby die of SIDS while sleeping in bed with them. I don’t pretend to know if that caused it or not.

    It’s hard to get the baby to sleep on his/her own once they are used to the communal bed (ala Jolie-Pitts). Not to mention no privacy unless you are willing to share that also.

  22. Persistent Cat says:

    @sdca, calm down, take a breath before joining the discussion. Understand that there are other opinions besides your own.

    Eileen, I can’t believe that happened to your friend, that is truly tragic.

    My sister-in-law kept her son in her bed and he never outgrew it. At 11, he was still wandering into her bed at night. Just a cautionary tale.

  23. moo says:

    It’s hard not to, when you are tired and nursing in bed… and it would be hella better than sleeping with Scott!

  24. Scarlet Vixen says:

    Co-sleeping (and breastfeeding) are kinda pet subjects of mine, so it’s interesting to see it being discussed in the mainstream. I’m a big fan of co-sleeping, but must admit that it’s not for everyone. I co-slept with my son for 6mos, then in his own crib. I absolutely slept the best when co-sleeping. I nursed, so having my baby in my bed was super-convenient (just roll over and food is right there 🙂 ). And I think we both bonded so much better having that skin-to-skin contact, learning each other’s scent, breathing pattern and heartrate, etc. I’m an extremely light sleeper who barely moves in bed to begin with, so I had no concern about smothering. When I was about 12 I was very close to a baby in my church who passed away from SIDS at about 1yr old, so I’ve always been terribly afraid of SIDS. For that reason, I felt so much more secure with my baby in bed with me. When my ex-husband insisted we move my son to a different room at 6mos old I barely slept and checked on my son several times a nite. But again, co-sleeping isn’t for everyone. Some people are more sound sleepers, or don’t have that physical instinct to stay in one place all nite.

    I am not a fan (I pesonally detest the entire Kardashian family), but good for Kourtney for being brave and stating that she is making a sound parenting decision for good reasons, no matter what society (aka mostly non-parents) say. I think it’s kinda ridiculous–but also makes me angry–that so many non-parents think they’re experts on parenting techniqes, etc. I’m not a doctor, so I don’t presume to tell them how to do their job! People with no kids, please refrain from doing the same. Good parents do the research and determine what works best for them and their children. *End rant*

  25. irishserra says:

    I am concerned about co-sleeping as well. I work in the Children’s Services arena and have had to deal with cases of parents who inadvertently smother their children to death while sleeping. It happens too often. It’s heart breaking to see these parents who were so devoted to their children lose them in such a way. Please PLEASE wait until your children are a little older to co-sleep!!

  26. Whatever says:

    I’ve coslept with all my kids and it is safe, if you take some precautions. Experts advise no pillows, blankets, and no drugs or alcohol. Also, crib sleeping babies die of SIDS a lot more than cosleeping babies. Should we outlaw cribs? Most of the cases of babies being rolled on and smothered are not SIDS, but an accidental death. Very sad, but still really rare.

    In most of the world, babies routinely sleep with their parents, as they have through most of human history. There are studies by Dr. James McKenna that show cosleeping cultures have a much lower rate of SIDS than the US, in some places it is almost non existant. Of course, there are probably no comforters or pillows and other soft bedding used in the developing world.

  27. Guest says:

    It is interesting that Angie and Brad talk alot about co – sleeping (they all sleep in one bed)but I have never heard that they were concerned about this. Obviously the kids are older now but I think that they did it alot even when they were babies (at least according to the interviews they gave). Isn’t it amazing that a Kardashian is a deeper thinker then than Angie/Brad.

    Research does indicate that SIDs is higher with co-sleeping as well as other injuries. This is making the pediatric society state that co-sleeping is not safe.

    Good for her for bringing a very interesting and important topic to light. perhaps Angie/Brad should learn abit more about the Kardashian’s and their thoughts on raising children.

  28. Novaraen says:

    Co-sleeping is VERY unsafe. I know a couple that had their baby between them and woke up with the baby not breathing. Ended up in the hospital and they thought the baby was brain dead. Eventually with a lot of effort the little guy was saved….but let me tell you that the couple learned a valuable lesson.

    It is extremely dangerous.

  29. marie says:

    I co-slept with my son, but he had a special little “container” that went in the bed to prevent any accidents. I hated being away from him at all, but this way, I didn’t have to worry as much about safety. Once he got bigger, I took it out of the bed, and he slept with me until he was about a year old. It was wonderful. I recommend it to anyone who’d be interested in such a thing.

  30. lula says:

    I let my son sleep with me as a baby because it was just easier to breastfeed him at night that way. But I have to say that if I have anymore kids, I’m not sure if I will repeat that, because it was a HUGE undertaking to get him to sleep in his own bed. We finally accomplished that, and now we’ve moved on to getting him to sleep in his own ROOM. He’s almost 4 and it’s taken almost 2 years to get him to this point.

  31. hzl says:

    My three-week old baby sleeps with us. I couldn’t have it any other way – hearing her breath, being able to reach out and touch her. Its a must for breastfeeding. My now two-year-old son also slept in our bed until he was about four months old. We had no problems getting him out of the bed when the time came. We use a “Snuggle Nest” in the middle of our bed.

  32. LOVE ANGELINA says:

    I co slept with a baby once. I was baby-sitting and needless to say it was a ghetto ass situation. I was young, like 15 or so, the kids were never allowed on the bed. It was a mix of foster kids and kids who lived there. I was watching a baby and he was in a car seat, pretty much the whole time because its foster care and they don’t have time to hold babies, they didn’t wanna spoil him and get him used to being held, so any way night time rolls around, and I have a pallet on the floor sleeping next to the baby. He would not shut up. I realized that he, like most normal people couldn’t sleep in that car seat. So I took him out and laid him next to me on the pallet. He went to slumber land right way. I closed my eyes but didn’t sleep, not like a deep sleep. I knew I wouldn’t roll on him, I just knew it. So while the baby remained safe, I was still really tired, tense, and stressed about his safety.Sure he wouldn’t fall off anything but someone could step on him, something could crawl on him, idk. I can’t imagine ever wanting to co sleep with a tiny baby for any reason. Bonding with your baby my ass…you are asleep…your bonding with your pillow. I think maybe a nap or something is fine but to do it every night…hell no. Its dangerous. Its stressful and if you can afford a bassinet/crib, put the kid in it and keep it in your room with you. Not in the same bed. There are so many things that can go wrong, why take the risk?

  33. Rosanna says:

    I would NEVER cosleep with my baby. I don’t think it’s good for him or me.

  34. marge says:

    I take my 3 month son to bed after his 6am 1st breakfast, usually on the weekend. I keep him very close to me so my husband won’t roll over and I put him on these bby sleeping bags.
    It’s just wonderful; I sleep my best and he loves it, and we all stay in bed till 11am even! Sometimes the cat crawls in.

  35. KJ says:

    @Corina-It is true as far as MOMS being aware of their baby in the bed next to them-but Dads?-not so much. I am a newborn nurse and have heard more cases-not all ending tragically-of the Dad rolling on the baby. Bottom line is this-if you are a sound sleeper, have been drinking (and should not be breastfeeding anyway!) or have any reason to believe you will not be aware of your infant-just don’t do it. People are going to do what they want with their babies regardless of what anyone else posts.

  36. buenavissta says:

    I co-slept with #2 (difficult baby) and not with #1(easy baby). It was a matter of what was best for the individual, which I think is the only response to this issue. Good of KK to speak openly about it.

    Ironically, #2 transitioned to his own bed with no problems and #1 has only begun staying in her own bed this past year and she’s 9. It’s all a bit of a crapshoot!

  37. Wif says:

    Co-sleeping was a necessity for me. My first wouldn’t sleep for any longer than 15 minutes if she didn’t have her belly touching me somewhere. That went on for 3 weeks, with me getting no more than 10 minutes sleep at a time, until I finally gave in and pulled her into the bed where we could both sleep. I was honestly afraid of what would happen to us if I didn’t make that choice.

    Eileen, I’m so sorry about what happened to your friend. I don’t know her story, but maybe her baby would have died of SIDS in her own bed too, I mean, those little noses can be wedged into a breast nursing for an hour and continue breathing fine throughout. I’m so sorry for your friend’s grief, but I think a tired mom doing what she needs to do to make it through the night is blameless in these circumstances. Parenting is hard.

  38. Rosalind says:

    Both of my daughters slept in my bed when they were babies-I loved it.

  39. Keirelle says:

    I co-slept with my son until he was nearly 2. And no, I didn’t have a single problem getting him to sleep in his own bed and stay there either. Co sleeping worked very well for us because I was nursing, and therefore the only one that could feed him- I actually got a lot of sleep as a new mom, it was great.

    For the naysayers, well, you really have to have sense about co sleeping. Kids die in cribs just as much as with co-sleeping, and almost ALL of these incidents are preventable. When you co sleep you don’t keep any extra pillows or blankets around at all. If either parent is a smoker, one probably shouldn’t cosleep. If one is a heavy sleeper, then definitely not. It’s all basic common sense. And a huge percentage of the deaths you do hear about are almost all because of a stupid preventable reason.

  40. ctkat says:

    I don’t have children, but my close friend recently adopted an infant, and they co-slept with him until very recently (he’s 5 months now). They did it for the bonding aspect- because she didn’t carry him in utero or give birth to him, she really loved the closeness of the breathing and the heartbeat and everything that has already been said…

    For her, it was a really important part of the bonding process (and I think a bit about the eight year wait for the little guy!)

  41. BrandyMc says:

    All three of my children slept with me when they was first born. I liked the fact that I could hear them breathing. I am currently 4 months pregnant and I will allow this one to sleep with me as well. It is a bonding experience.

  42. yes please says:

    i have slept with my baby since the day she was born, it a lot easier to cope, however i am aware of how dangerouse it can be if you are a deep sleeper, being a new mom is hard and sometime you are worn out, accidents could happen.. so please be careful.

  43. Cletus says:

    I tried the co sleeping thing, and it was a total bust for both my daughter and for me. I was too obsessed with her. I messed with her all night. If she breathed too loud, I’d freak out. If she breathed too quietly, then I’d REALLY freak out. Every grunt, poot, and nose-whistle from that kid had me wide awake and then I had to poke her to make sure she was alive. I had to separate us because sleep deprivation was making me even MORE paranoid.

    But hey, if you wanna sleep with your kid and you don’t mess with it all the time, go for it. Just, you know, don’t be mad when the kid is older (and bigger) and can’t sleep anywhere but next to you. That’s all I’m saying.

  44. andrea says:

    @eileen – oh, that is so scary. i hope your friend is doing better. that thing you mentioned that attaches to the bed sounds like a great idea.

  45. H says:

    My son, my 1st, slept with us for about 6 weeks, then he became a light sleeper who would awaken if the bed moved at all. So it was a no brainer to move him to his own bed in our room. My daughter was a premmie I was terrified she was going to stop breathing so she slept with me for the 1st 6 months. When she started to roll, I moved her to a bassinet in my room for a bit and then to a crib in her room. Like some have said I dont’ move much in my sleep I usally awake in the same position I fall asleep in. So did my daughter and we slept belly to belly. It is a personal choice and one that should be well researched if you choose to do it.

    @ Eileen, my heart goes out to your friend, that is a loss you never get over.

  46. Mrs Odie 2 says:

    I saw that episode of The Autopsy Files. The mother was a black out drunk. She came home from a night of boozing, got in bed with her little children and smothered them.

    SIDS is not suffocation. The cause of SIDS is unknown.

  47. nnn says:

    Most african women sleep with their babies. It may be uncomfortable but they get use to it and know how to avoid accidents.

    Accidents are just that, some people have lost their babies by sleeping with them, others have lost their babies regretting not having slept with them to perceive that they were in trouble and found their dead baby in the morning.

    My best friend had lived the worst experience or a mother. She slept, left the baby in her own bed and her husband who was doing extra time came later. He went to see the baby sleeping before going ti kiss his wife and found the little one who had stopped breathing.

    The ambulance was there in three minutes and they needed 45 minutes to revive her. Since then, they slept with the little one until she turned 2 during which they found she had a severe condition in breathing which was cured.

  48. Boombeeba says:

    Lol the baby looks like Robby

  49. viper says:

    I am so glad I was never co-slept with. I had dents and eventually bite marks in my crib I was just such a violent sleeper. And I remeber they wernt nightmares I was fighting monsters and loving it. My grandmothers wanted my mom to take me to a preist for the longest time. It just wasnt natural to have a kid NOT afraid and actually seeking otu scary things lol

  50. jc126 says:

    Cosleeping sounds like a great idea, but I read an article on 11 babies last year dying in my state while sleeping with their parents because the parents rolled over and smothered them while sleeping. It’s not a chance I would take, as tempting as the idea is (and it sounds like great bonding and togetherness.)
    Safe for some, obviously, but I wouldn’t trust myself not to roll over.

  51. Corina says:

    @KJ – that is good to know! I couldn’t recall for sure if it applied to daddies as well but my own dad got all bristly when I mentioned it. Had to make sure I knew he was too self aware to ever roll over onto one of his kids I guess. 🙂 I wonder if it is biological thing linked to actually having given birth to a child, or more a maternal instinct that transcends that? The psych major in me is pondering how it applies to adoptive parents vs biological, lesbian & gay parents, etc. The cultural differences & strong opinions on it are fascinating either way!

    I would hope that nobody is taking a Kardashian’s word on taking care of babies as gospel anyway! Also yes, can someone please support that poor kid’s head? He looks like he’s preparing for a nose dive right out of K’s arms up there!

  52. jc126 says:

    Lol @26 – society is “mostly non-parents”? How is that possible?

  53. Anon says:

    There is a kind of bassinet, which attaches to the underside of your bed so it is right beside you, and allows you to ‘co-sleep’ with your child while they are safely in their own bed.
    $200.00 for peace-of-mind? Sounds good to me.

  54. Majosha says:

    buenavissta: I cosign everything you said. Co-sleeping, like nearly every other aspect of raising a child, is a personal choice based on the needs of both the child(ren) and the parents, and families shouldn’t be chastised for opting for either one. My second child slept with us for a while, whereas his older brother was perfectly content in his bassinet.

    I kind of have a love/hate relationship with parent-related threads only because certain people feel compelled to declare her approach as the one and only “correct” method. Or you get as*holes like “sdca” who belittle people for having legitimate concerns. Especially after reading Eileen’s heart-wrenching account of her friend’s horrible tragedy.

  55. girl says:

    @Twez. I remember that episode. It is quite heartbreaking but as I remember that woman was rather large. Being large is one of the indications that one should not co-sleep, as well as a person who is heavily medicated. I can’t imagine someone having to tell her that co-sleeping *at her size* was what may have caused her babies to die.

    Just as there are unsafe co-sleeping practices, there are unsafe crib-sleeping practices but for some reason we never hear about those.

  56. Crash2GO2 says:

    I coslept with my daughter. I literally learned to sleep motionless on my side with no pillow. Falling asleep with her on my breast. I loved it.

    I read many studies on the subject, and what I came away with was that in general, babies who sleep in their parent’s beds die of SIDS less often than babies left alone in cribs to sleep. It may be due to a faulty ‘arousal’ system – that system that tells the body when the CO2 levels in the blood are getting too high and the baby needs to take a breath. Sleeping with a parent enriches the night time environment with the sound of the mother’s breathing, heart beat and movements. They have found that sleeping babies will even turn their faces toward their sleeping mother’s face to catch the tickle of her exhalations. The mother acts as the baby’s arousal system (so the theory goes) in cases where there is a faulty one, thus saving the baby from otherwise dying of SIDS.

    Also, babies are completely helpless and at some level know this. They need to be with a caregiver, even at night. To me this seems obvious, but perhaps it is not so to others. And yes, certainly if you are blotto, you should NOT be sleeping with your baby.

    Eileen Yover: My heart goes out to your friend 1000 times over.

  57. sunnyjyl says:

    In my family co-sleeping and breast feeding are the norm. The co-sleeping can last up to 4 years, depending on the child. Same with breast feeding. That’s just us, but I’ve never understood why some people think it is such a big deal.

  58. Aussie Mama says:

    A lot of these rules are there, to break the bond of Mother & Child. It all depends on what sort of sleeper you are. Once my head hits that pillow I am dead to the world, I never heard a thunder storm, nothing, but my children make the slightest noise and I’m up like a rocket. Bizzare. I always slept with my kids, my husband and I enjoyed it so much, beautiful. Once asleep they would always be moved to their cott, bed etc. They never had a problem adjusting. Enjoy your kids people, they grow up so fast, there will come a day where they will want nothing to do with you, so suck it up. I find my kids are a lot more affectionate, still sloth in our laps, have no problem giving us a kiss and hug at school. 12(boy)years old and 10 (girl), my boy or girl will walk through the shops with their arm over my shoulders, or around me. Where most of their friends wouldn’t be seen dead doing that. The Africans wear their babes in a sling on them all day long. Thats devotion. I find a lot of parents are too me, me, me and wouldn’t know the first thing about putting their little one first. Selfishness and Motherhood do not make for well adjusted adults down the track.

  59. Aussie Mama says:

    I agree with what you say, I did the same.
    On the SIDS comment; Japan cut out immunisation for their babies 10 years ago. No child starts the immunisation schedule, until the age of 2 years of age. Since making this change, they have no SIDS. None. They realised years ago, the onslaught of live viruses in a babies newborn, pure system, was killing their children.
    I know there will be people that will argue this, but it is a fact. SIDS is directly related to immunisation.
    The Amish are the same, they don’t have this amongst their children and their kids do not have Autism either, not a case, amongst 10,000 Amish. Why you ask? They don’t immunise their kids either. Now when we have 1 in 100 of our kids diagnosed with Autism, you cannot call this coincidence. The proof is there, but fear is so pushed on us, we don’t even see the truth.

  60. Eileen Yover says:

    I actually co-slept with my first born and never thought once about it. But I didn’t co-sleep with my son, mainly because I did the Babywise method and you don’t co-sleep with them. But after her little angel passed it definitely made me research things further. I’d never write anything on here judging what anyone does as a parent, but to not share the warnings from seeing it first hand would be hard! No mother can stand watching another mother go through what she has. We’ve actually had to pull her off his grave in the middle of the night after she slept there for several nights. Just total out of your mind grief that in her mind she was the reason he’s gone. That kind of grief can happen regardless of how you loose your child-its just a total tragedy.

  61. GatsbyGal says:

    Honestly, babies die so easily that they’re probably just as likely to go sleeping in their crib as they are in bed with mom and dad. This is why I’m so frightened of when I have a kid. You can be the most careful mother on the entire planet, it doesn’t matter – all it takes is one godawful freak accident to kill your baby.

  62. Sarah says:

    Its all about personal choice. Educate yourself then make an informed decision about how you want to sleep and what works for you and your child. I personally would not co sleep but have no judgement on women who choose to do so. Women need to be less judgemental and more supportive of one another.

    Personally my 5 month old has just moved to his own room and we no longer wake him by rolling over etc (he previously had a cot in our room) so he is sleeping much better and so am I. Its also better for my partner and i, we get to talk after he is in bed and have sex more.

  63. Crash2GO2 says:

    @GatsbyGal: Babies really aren’t fragile. And life is tenuous at ANY age. I would argue that babies are hardier than humans at most other ages, simply because they had to be as we were evolving. Have you ever experienced the baby ‘death grip’? They can hang onto you (your hair, necklace – whatever is handy) like a dang rhesus monkey from just a few days old – keeps them from being falling over.

  64. canadianchick says:

    To each her own, but my son matters too much to me to risk it.

  65. annaloo says:

    I thought you were talking about her man in the title of this post.

  66. Cakes says:

    I napped with my youngest god-child on my chest when she was a baby. She went thru a stage of not wanting to be put down and had to constantly be held. Thats where I personally draw the line. I would not be comfortable having a baby with me in the bed overnight. I dont know if I can trust my babies life on an instinct that I may or may not have.

  67. Missfit says:

    Everyone has a good point, co sleeping or not. To each their own. I’ve heard of babies dieing both ways. I even had a friend who lost her baby at 6 months, by getting her head caught in her crib somehow and suffocated. All we can do is the best we can as a parent. I usually have my baby sleep in the same room with me in the first stages of their life, I have their crib and bassinet in my room. In the beginning, I’ll put them in their bassinet, but close to my bed, so I can just wake up and check on them, to make sure they are okay, regardless if they are crying or not. I like to wake up and make sure they are still breathing. I would hate to wake them up for any movement, if I get up to pee or get a drink in the middle of the night. But having the bassinet right next to my bed (like I said) is good enough for me to have a peace of mind. I usually give them a slight touch to make sure I see them move or to see their chest moving, I don’t wake them and then I feel better just knowing. Then when they are a few months older or grow out of the bassinet, I’ll put them in their crib, yet it’s still in my room, so I can still get up and check on them whenever I want. I’m very paranoid and I still check on my kids now that they are older, but whatever makes me feel better and “sleep better” at night, right? It’s kinda funny I say that, cause I’m a very light sleeper,lol.

  68. Confuzzle says:

    She’s very shiny and orange looking. Is she a mannequin?

  69. texasmom says:

    I involuntarily co-slept with my “hard” baby — she was so active in her sleep that she was constantly slamming into the end of the crib and waking up hurt and alarmed. I was awake ALL THE TIME. I vividly remember her rising up in her sleep into a little bunny crouch and launching herself, still asleep, head-first into the headboard of the crib. I had her in bed with me. There she was in a bigger space and didn’t slam into anything (also because I would wake in time to catch her). I still got horrible sleep. But at least we were able to get back to sleep a lot faster than after a major head-slam. I have to say that this was a low period of my life. I NEED SLEEP!!!!

  70. Veema says:

    I remember talking about this in a psych class. Your subconscious just knows the baby is there and it is very unlikely that you will roll over on the baby.

    Can any of you recall the last time you rolled out of bed while you were sleeping? It is similar to that.

  71. KateNonymous says:

    @Gatsby Girl (#59), babies don’t really die that easily. If they did, the species would have ceased to exist long ago.

    Our daughter sleeps in the room with us, but not in the bed. We’ll move her into her crib in another room when she outgrows her current sleeping space, and I’m pretty sure we’ll be sad about that.

    Come to think of it, I did accidentally co-sleep in the hospital. I was nursing her in bed because changing position was very difficult for me, and we both fell asleep.

  72. Mrs Odie 2 says:

    Veema beat me too it! But I just want to second how we don’t roll out of bed. I also never roll onto my husband, so why would I roll onto my baby?

    GatsbyGal, kids are actually very resilient and SIDS is rare. More baby boys die from complications of circumcisions than die from SIDS.

  73. Lardy Chops says:

    A friend of mine tried co-sleeping with her first and wound up with a child who wouldn’t go to sleep unless his mother was in bed with him. For nearly 3 years. Kind of inconvenient.

  74. embertine says:

    I have no particular view on co-sleeping, as I don’t have kids, but it sounds to me like a typical case of society vilifying mothers no matter what they do.

    Can’t breastfeed? Bad mother. Breastfeed in public? Disgusting. Want to go back to work? Bad mother. Don’t want to go back to work? Bad role model.

    As women we can’t win.

  75. SamSam says:

    Shocked and amazed its THIS woman who seems to be the face of attachment parenting.

    Please don’t let her ruin it…

  76. viper says:

    Women win all the time you just have to accept that women cant win EVERYTHING.

  77. Crash2GO2 says:

    @Aussie Mamma: There IS Autism amongst the Amish.


    These cases are also illustrative of the complex and multiple causes of autism.

    Vaccines have been carefully researched and cleared of causing autism over and over again. People can refuse to see the facts if they so chose.

  78. just me says:

    I see nothing wrong with having the baby in the bed with you.

    That baby looks nothing, I mean nothing like his dad…wow.

  79. MissyA says:

    I nanny for a little boy (from 3mos to 14mos) and we always snuggle in for his mid afternoon nap.

    Now, I’ve taken quite a few naps in my day, but never quite like the rest I’ve had with the little guy. I think I keep getting caught between stage 2 and 3 of REM wherein I’m asleep and “dreaming” but salient to the fact I’m not at home in my bed. It’s hard to explain, but I’m always aware there’s an infant at my side or on my chest.

    I know napping isn’t the same as experiencing full night of REM, but for what it’s worth, I’m fairly impressed that as a woman with no children I’m still instinctively aware of a sleeping baby in my proximity.

    Just my contribution to the conversation. Others had far more insightful and sometimes tragic observations (my heart goes out to your friend Eileen).

  80. bored says:

    Co sleeping and extended nursing on demand worked for the first 200,000 years humans were around. Surprisingly, it still works for me and my baby.

  81. Jen says:

    @Aussie Mom — Please stop spreading paranoia. “A lot of these rules are there, to break the bond of Mother & Child.” Whose evil mastermind plot is it to break the mother-child bond? Do you really think co-sleepers are the only mothers who bond with their kids? And what makes sleeping with a baby selfless and putting him in a crib self-centered? I was rocked to sleep at night as a baby and I have a lot of difficulty sleeping, so I wanted to make sure my child developed the skills to fall asleep on his own. It’s worked out great for us.

    And your facts about Autism and vaccines are inaccurate.

  82. nj says:

    In 1976, my little sister stopped breathing in her bassinet during a nap. If I had not been a bad 2 year old and jumped on my parents’ bed, and had my cousin not been a snitch and told on me, my dad would not have checked her and found her blue. He and my uncle pulled the fire alarm while my mother and aunt worked on her (they were R.N.s). She was revived and there was no damage, she’s 34 now. It never happened again, and there was no cause-no loose bedding, no defective crib. It was a true SIDS case, we were lucky.
    Sometimes life is a crapshoot, and there is nothing you can do about it.

  83. Amy says:

    Good for her! I, for one, am shocked that this rich “socialite” is advocating breastfeeding and attachment parenting instead of having her child being cared for by an army of nannies.

  84. Majosha says:

    @AussieMama: You are honestly proclaiming that SIDS — a condition that has confounded doctors for decades — is a direct result of immunizations? People like you are dangerous. Uneducated hysterics in tin foil hats who latch onto bullsh*t theories and endorse them as if they were indisputable facts. I pray nobody takes your foolish ramblings seriously.

  85. Isa says:

    I still think more research needs to be done on this. I coslept with my daughter until she was 7 months old then we moved her to her own bed.
    When she was first born we just couldn’t sleep with her in the bassinet. My husband kept jumping up out of deep sleep just to check on her. We didn’t have a lot of money or else I would have bought one of those co-sleepers.
    But when my daughter was one I thought she could have a blanket in her crib. Big mistake, she was asleep and I was dozing off when I woke up and HAD to check on her. I found her with her blanket wrapped around her head. She was fine, but if she had turned over once or twice it would have wrapped tighter.
    I’m still beating myself up over that mistake.
    Also, I read somewhere once that keeping a fan on in the room helps prevent SIDs. Not sure if it’s been backed up but it’s something we’ve always done.

  86. Aussie Mama says:

    Majosha with sincere respect, look up google what japan has done. it’s there for everybody to read, it is a fact. i didn’t say they don’t immunise, i said they delay it until the kiddies are 2 ok.
    maybe read, then decide for yourself, like i did.
    whilst we live in a free country the choice is ours ok. judgement on any level, is anything but fair. my kids, just like every other kid in our family and it’s a bloody big family let me tell ya. not one case of asthma, eczema, peanut allergies, cancer in the oldies, arthritis, MS, parkinsons, alzeimers, colds are very rare, no childhood diseases such as mumps, chicken pox, measles, epilepsy, no obesity, no depression, no common diseases at all. on that note; i’d say we are all doing something right.for us, that is doing, eating etc, like our great grandparents, granparents and parents do and did. by the way i am 40 and still have both sets of great grandparents. so before you become so harsh, maybe we are actually onto something. hell my grandads dog is 24. never been fed dog food, only family leftovers, no shots, no health problems and still as sprightly as ever.
    Uneducated? you would be surprised, the complete opposite. we are in the millions, so i am not alone. thinktwice.com and people like jenny mccarthy are heros that are letting brainwashed people hear the truth, sometimes for the first time.
    if you are in the u.s your opinion doesn’t surprise me a bit. your tv programming, is called programming for a reason. the media there is just another part of government and stopped speaking the truth long ago. europe and a lot of the western world, knows whats going on, we are pist for being lied to, for so many years and we research things ourselves. tell me if medicine were so fabo, why do the royals, only use homeopathic medicine and practitioners? because western medicine is for the plebs, not good enuf for them. if our doc’s can’t burn it, cut it out, radiate it into oblivion, they’re lost. they never even attempt to go to the core of the problem, whish is lifestyle and nutrition. doctors only learn about nutrition for 6 weeks, out of the 6 years they study? why, because nutrition has nothing to do with anything!!! how ridiculous. cancer is just a chronic eating disorder. our water and food is being poisoned on purpose. who would make money if we were all healthy. disease is great business. the most powerful companies in the world are the pharmaceutical companies, for this reason. doctors have become mere prescription drug pushers, for huge kick backs from the pharaceutical companies. as a hobby, start to read, with an open mind. raed stories about mothers, whose children died within hours of being immunised with too much too young. this is called in medical terms an acceptable loss. is it acceptable if it’s your child?

  87. Aussie Mama says:

    Jen; I quoted accurate figures.
    Crash; The more modern/younger generation of Amish, who are immunising their children are now experiencing this just like us. Prior to this, un heard of. Also, you are right babies are tuff little nuts, I mean what is rougher than childbirth?
    Oldie; the circumcision comments. 32 baby boys died in australia in 2009, due to complications from circumcisions. personally i’d ban it, just like for the girls. there is no medical reason, it is barbaric and un-necessary. Again my opinion only.
    Our opinions will differ and whilst we live in the society we do, thank god for that.
    Me personally, when I looked into the ingredients of every shot for my child, it didn’t sit rigt with me eg;thimerosal (mercury disinfectant/preservative), aluminum (additive to promote antibody response), formaldehyde (disinfectant), ethylene glycol (antifreeze) phenol (disinfectant, dye) benzethonium chloride (antiseptic) and methylparaben (antifungal, preservative),mumps vaxes are made in chicken eggs, hence the reason those with egg sensitivity may be allergic to them. Some are made with genetically altered yeast. Polio inoculations are created in monkey kidney cells. Hepatitis A, RotaTeq, Varicella (chickenpox), Rubella, and Mumps vaccines are cultured in human diploid cells that come from aborted human fetal tissue, as in a dead baby–the lungs to be exact.
    I knew my baby didn’t need a Hep B shot, a disease common in intraveanous drug users and prostitues, at 4 days of age. My child, my choice. Thanks for the discussion, awesome.

  88. Crash2GO2 says:

    OK Aussie Mamma, you had your chance. Now the gloves are off. You are an absolute raving lunatic. Either back up your insane claims or stand ready to be ridiculed. Because you deserve it.

    I notice you chose to ignore my perfectly reasonable response to your completely unfounded claim that the Amish have zero cases of Autism.

  89. Aussie Mama says:

    Crash, sorry to offend, I truly mean that. I did address your reply on the Amish. I have watched many doco’s on the Amish; Devils Playground, ABC stories, Discovery, Four Corners etc. There have been many doco’s on these people, their health in connection to their lifestyle and it gives a lot of food for thought.
    We differ in opinions and that’s fine by me. There are thousands of papers, thesiss’s, studies, from all parts of the world, medical journals etc, where this info. is freely available. You just need to read it, as I have, then combine this with parents experiences, facts, true stories. You don’t know a thing about me, my job, my qualifications, my background, so to refer to me as a lunatic, bears no signifigance at all. Believe me.
    I will tell you, when people speak off the record, people who are in medicine, it’s amazing the stories they tell, the difference in opinion they have, for the well being of their own families, as opposed to the people who are nothing to them, the ones they treat, their patients. There is a protocol to be followed in every job out there, doesn’t mean it’s right, but none the less, you have to stick to the guidelines. When you listen to the account of a mother, who’s once placid baby, screamed in agony for two weeks, immediately after immunisation, in horrific pain, being told to give the child tylenol by the doctor, it’s nothing to worry about, then that child literally fading away to skin and bone,over the weeks, before finally bleeding profusely from the mouth and then finally passing away, I don’t know that anyone but an ignoramus cannot at least look into this “huge coincidence”. the site; mothers against immunisation, or thinktwice isn’t a hippy site. It is a site where families have lost chilren as a direct result from immunisation. read the stories, plenty of doctors on there too and tell me then to ignore, what i know in my gut is right.
    There’s always two sides to every story and then there’s the truth.
    In Australia here, there was a survey for oncologists in 2009. 72% of ALL oncologists here said, they would not go through chemo themselves, nor let a loved one go through it.
    “I don’t want to offend anyone” non-speech that has been adopted as routine by our politicians and mega corporations. what we really need is some down-to-earth truth-telling that pulls no punches and boldly states the simple truths. these debates bring to the table precisely the kind of uncompromising attitude that we now need to get past the current age of mass deception and move forward into a new era of empowered people who question the government, the media and the corporations.
    can you imagine how different our world would be? the fed would be running scared, and big pharma would be trying every trick in the book to silence us all.
    remember the government backed studies are financed by the culprits themselves, so how on earth can you ever know the truth, unless you look at the independant studies, that aren’t reliant of the big bux?
    no hard feelings x

  90. Aussie Mama says:

    before attacking again, i suggest you at least read the below, it takes two minutes. only then, get back to me;


    best wishes.

  91. Ileana says:

    I am Cuban and both my children slept in the bed with us and they both turned out fine. I loved having them there. Do what feels right for you. Parenting is an individual thing what works for some doesn’t for others. I have a really close bond with my 14 and 17 year old children and still when they do not feel well they wll be like mom lay with me and snuggle.

  92. Christina says:

    I slept with all 4 babiesafter much research, and here are my thoughts:

    cosleeping should be part of a very baby centered lifestyle that not everyone is able to commit to. The crib has its own issues and benefits- newborns are vulnerable. period.
    The ideal situation is healthy normal weight mom, healthy full term baby, breastfeeding, no meds(ibuprofen, not demerol) no alcohol,no smoking.
    If mom is really tired due to work, odd hours, unhelpful husband whatever- it won’t work.If she switches to the bottle too soon, she will lose her physical, natural perception that allows this natural act to work as it should.If she feels any postpartum depression or reluctance at her role as mom, this is not the best choice.
    The bed must be carefully prepared with thin blanket,mesh siderail and a little travel pillow for mom. Baby should not be by dad until older-like 8 -12 mos, he has love but few instincts.
    If this all sounds like heaven, this is a great choice for you. If you are scowling, then feel no guilt and buy a crib. But keep it nearby.

  93. Majosha says:

    AussieMama: A link to an article on the Huffington Post? That’s the best thing you can come up with to support your argument? Good god. Well, here are just a few studies I found in the National Library of Medicine’s online database regarding the theory that early immunizations have been found to DECREASE SIDS. This site contains studies conducted in the US and around the globe (by real doctors and scientists, not playboy centerfolds).



  94. Crash2GO2 says:

    @Aussie Mamma: Did you read my link? Fair is fair.

    ‘docos’ are full of misinformation. I know first hand. They are packaged for the average audience who has no knowledge or background about a subject, they are not required to check their sources or be to be factual. That is why you should always go straight to the source – to the people who actually do the research, not the ones who package it up and report it with their own little spin (or BIG spin).

    I pray that when the measles or diptherea rampage through your family, no one dies. But then I suppose you would blame that on science somehow too.

  95. Aussie Mama says:

    Diptheria deaths in Australia 2009, zero, not one death in fact since 1991,that’s pretty good for a population of 23 million. But lets immunise all the babies anyway?
    The main advances in combating disease over 200 years have been better food and clean drinking water. Improved sanitation, less overcrowded and better living conditions have contributed.
    Measles; In Australia One adult death was recorded from measles in the Northern Territory, Queensland, South Australia and Western Australia for the years 2003 to 2009. However, on further investigation this was found to be due to subacute sclerosing panencephalitis, a rare sequela of childhood infection, that was not picked up earlier. All of the 4 deaths were Aboriginal men.
    Lets hope Fort Worth Texas Military base doesn’t unleash another horse flu, swine flu, bird flu, pig flu, foot n mouth, SARS again hey, all in the name of mass vaccination, that is untrialed and we have no idea on the potential long term effects. I know far too much to be anybodies guinea pig.
    I am politely bowing out. It was good to chat. We will agree to disagree. For the record, I am a biostatistician, I’ve seen it all and let me tell you, most of it is a disgrace.
    All the best crash x

  96. mama of 4 says:

    I think cosleeping is a personal choice . I work with a baby mother group and know a mother who co slept with her first 2 kids and with her third suffered the tragic loss from co sleeping ( gone wrong as she says) i also know a family who lost thier baby due to SIDS I will not go into details about either family or case out of respect for them … but it can happen even if you did with your first 2 or your parents did with you.. Some people simply think it won’t happen to me i ahve taken all percautions I am ideal for this and it just won’t happen but sadly death can occur… i am not condeming any one who does it i just hope they know that it can happen to them