I’m pretty sure that this Drew Barrymore photo shoot and cover profile has been at least partially seen in an American edition of Marie Claire a few months ago. Or maybe I’m just thinking about her Elle cover? That could be it. Because the photos look pretty similar, and she says some of the same stuff. Anyway, in the interview, Drew won’t confirm or deny that she and The Vadge Whisperer, Justin Long, are broken up or still together, but of course Drew has to go on and on about love and relationships. Because that’s who Drew is. She’s the girl who loves to talk about love. Sigh – I want Drew to talk about something else.

Drew Barrymore on love:
‘I’m happy to say that, at 35 years old, I feel I know less than ever,’ she says with a smile. ‘But in a liberating way. I’m trying to figure out how to make relationships work. The only thing I know is that there aren’t any rules. There should be no infrastructure on how a couple is supposed to work. Life isn’t like that.’

She calls herself an old-fashioned romantic, exasperated by today’s texting, Tweeting, Facebooking culture. She wants to be swept off her feet; she wants to receive handwritten letters and hand-made gifts, to hear someone’s voice.

‘The fact that I’m begging for a phone call is pathetic in this age of technology,’ she admits. ‘Plans are made by text – I can’t stand it. My ex, Fabrizio [Moretti, drummer with The Strokes], and I used to always make each other things for Valentine’s Day. I loved that. I know it was something we looked forward to and was really cool. I encourage people to make things for each other – it’s so beautiful.’

She says she collects old typewriters, loves the written word. She has a computer, but fears how technology is changing the way we interact with each other.

‘I just don’t like this compulsive, instantaneous, over- information, lack-of-privacy, weirdo aspect of the world,’ she says. ‘If you meet someone, they already know everything. What about showing up on the date and saying, “What do you do for a living? Who are your friends?” Yes, you can avoid maybe a serial killer, but who f-cking knows? I am a romantic and it scares me…’

I ask Barrymore what she actually wants from a relationship and, without a beat, she says, ‘definitely laughter’. I ask her what love is and she pauses, closes her eyes and grasps for the ungraspable.

‘It smells good – like somebody’s skin,’ she says eventually. ‘It’s amazing to me that, when you fall in love with someone, you just start to love the way they smell. If I have to go away from someone, I say, “Wear this T-shirt for five days in a row, then I’m going to take it with me.”’

She knows what love should sound like, what it should feel like, clearly what it should smell like, but she’s still grasping for what it actually is. ‘I’m not an aficionado on the subject right now,’ she admits. ‘Some of the things I thought were a certain way have revealed themselves to be quite different, so I feel very awake and very open-hearted and open-minded. I’d like to approach certain things differently. I feel like I’m learning a lot right now. I’m not the teacher, I’m the student – I want to try new things.’

Drew Barrymore on Sex & relationships
‘Oh, I’ve had successful phone sex – it can work,’ she says with a twinkle in her eye. ‘I think it’s f-cking weird – it’s super weird. I totally tried it, though, with a little success at one point in my life, but it was just a thing you try, like wearing orange for a while. I don’t think it’s something I could live my life with. What makes me happy right now is something very tangible and that’s the people I know that I really, really like and love and get such a sense of happiness from. My tribe.’

‘Notice how much f-cking easier friendships are – because expectations are the mother of deformity. And, also, the minute you have sex, it changes everything.’

[From Marie Claire UK]

“Expectations are the mother of deformity…” WTF? I’m not going to be able to get that out of my head now. Oh, and “the minute you have sex, it changes everything”? Thank you, Dr. Barrymore, I only learned that when I was 14 years old!

Don’t get the wrong idea – I actually like Drew. I just want her to portray herself as a bit more grown up in interviews, you know? That’s my biggest complaint about her. She’s a successful producer, an in-demand actress, a survivor of the industry. I get that she’s an optimist and a romantic, but enough, Drew. For real.

Photos courtesy of Marie Claire UK.