Javier Bardem clarifies his beautiful, homoerotic comments on Brad Pitt


In a recent Elle Magazine profile, Javier Bardem kind of went overboard – in a really sweet way – about his love of Brad Pitt. Brad is the executive producer on Eat, Pray, Love, but Javier’s comments didn’t come across like some kiss-ass sort of move from an actor to a producer. It sounds more like a boy-to-boy crush, and you know how much I love the homoeroticism with Javier Bardem. After all, in my mind, Javi is Daniel Craig’s imaginary lover. I can do it for Javi and Brad too, that fine. Here are Javi’s original comments in Elle (the full piece is good too):

Ask if he’s ever been strongly pursued by a costar after a film wrapped and he replies, “No, no. I’m not Brad Pitt.” Adding, “I had the great opportunity to meet Brad a couple of times…what a beauty! He is beautiful and his physicality is so amazing to see. But the beauty really comes from different places—the way he talks, the way he’s interested in what you’re saying. And that body is like—wow! It’s amazing, no? He really made me feel very, like…I don’t know, like, I could fall in love with him! Like a teenager girl getting crazy and going [screams] like that. I met him only twice, but so nice, so…generous and very true to himself, and I don’t know him that well, but I would say it’s a good self. And that is when the beauty comes voom! And if you have a body besides that, then it’s like, f-ck!”

[From Elle]

Yes, my Javi. It’s exactly like “f-ck”. And I’m really hoping Angelina Jolie will cosign this, because the world needs some hot Javi and Brad action. OMG, I just had an image of Javi kissing Brad on the neck and I almost wet myself! GAH. But isn’t it sweet how Javi turns into a teenage girl with a crush when he talks about Brad? That’s a man who is really comfortable with his sexuality.

Anyway, apparently Javi has been fielding some questions about the Brad-love that dare not speak its hot, homoerotic name. Javi was still feeling it, although he did make himself sound like a dirty whore willing to sleep with Brad for a part. Oh, God. THAT is another great fantasy, ladies:

We suppose Javier Bardem makes a valid point. During his Tonight Show appearance on Thursday, the Oscar winner was asked by Jay Leno to explain the man-crush he was recently quoted as having on Brad Pitt…

“I mean, who doesn’t have it?” Javier said with a laugh. “I had the chance to meet him and he’s very nice, very sweet. I mean, great body, great face. I was like, alright!”

But rather than just let such a, er, manly moment go, the newly married actor decided to put those amorous feelings to good use.

“He was a producer of Eat Pray Love, so I was flirting with him so I could get a job,” he explained. “I wanted to make him believe that I could fall in love with him so he would give me a job.”

Not surprisingly, it worked. Now Javier’s got a little extra spending cash to go and replace that undoubtedly worn-out copy of Troy.

[From E! News]

Best story ever, right? I wish I was a Hollywood producer so Javi would flirt with me. I wish I was Penelope Cruz. No – I wish I was Brad at this moment. Because Javi seems WAY more into Brad than Penelope.

Homoerotic fan-fiction: Brad walks in the hotel room. Javi already has a drink. Brad motions to the bed. “What would you do for the part?” Brad asks Javi directly, meeting his eyes. The flicker of desire flashes on Javi’s face. “You are a beautiful man, but I’m married… I can’t…” Brad: “Then what are doing here?” Brad walks to Javi, and runs two fingers down his dark face. “Yes,” Javi whispers. He slowly moves his hands up Brad’s body…

19 July 2010 - Hollywood, California - Brad Pitt. Salt Los Angeles Premiere held at Grauman's Chinese Theatre. Photo Credit: Byron Purvis/AdMedia

Javier Bardem attending the Palme d'Or Award Photocall held at the Palais des Festivals during the 63rd Annual Cannes Film Festival on May 23, 2010. Photo by Calo-MF-Ollivier-MF/ABACAPRESS.COM Photo via Newscom


Javi and Brad in Cannes in 2010 and 2008, respectively. Credit: WENN.

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46 Responses to “Javier Bardem clarifies his beautiful, homoerotic comments on Brad Pitt”

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  1. lilred says:

    Kaiser you crack me up!

  2. Praise St. Angie! says:

    always love your homoerotic fan fiction…HOT HOT HOT!

  3. Beth says:

    This is awesome. So where can I find the link to the rest of your Brad-on-Javier fan fiction?

  4. Elianau says:

    “What would you do for the part?” You should write a book. Your homoerotic little novel was fantastic!

  5. Sumodo1 says:

    Bardem is just explaining Brad’s appeal. In a European way. You would LOSE IT if you heard European men describe full-figured women. (I love it!)

  6. Toe says:

    LOOOOL…Brad’s body is indeed awesome.

  7. Katalina76 says:

    The first comment sounds like backpedaling to me. His answer to the original question about hooking up with a costar after a movie could be misconstrued as a dig at Brangelina. So then he gushes about Brad to make it all better. Am I making any sense? Ugh, I am no good with the words today!

  8. sandy says:

    kaiser I love you .

  9. Toe says:

    @ Katalina76. I thought the same thing. I don’t think he meant it that way, but i’m sure the one asking the question did.

  10. gretchen says:

    @ Katalina76, yes i noticed that as well 😉

  11. TQB says:

    His confidence in his manliness is unbearably sexy. Really, that’s the Javi thing – it’s all the sexy grin, the attitude, the eye twinkle. He should be a role model for dudes everywhere: hotness comes from within!!!

  12. JD says:

    Well,I see on many levels this is out of the box thinking.

  13. OC lady says:

    Haha. Very funny piece, Kaiser.

  14. tutu says:

    No wonder Angelina can not stop gushing about him.

  15. Bonfire Beach says:

    Oh good Lord, YES!

  16. bizzy says:

    ok, the rest of that better be on lj somewhere.

  17. Spacie says:

    Oh the hotness!!!
    I got wet all over…..

  18. Annie says:

    Kaiser- Are you a guy? Cause in the year I’ve visited this site, I thought you were a chick. I must know, because it changes everything I read from you from now on.

    Updated: Disregard. I see you are a woman. This entire post doesn’t make sense to me any longer.

  19. Jazmin says:

    Hate to break your love bubble, but to me Brad Pitt is nothing more than a low rent Robert Redford in his heyday… as for Javier, if your are Spanish like me, there is one just like him in every bodega, selling you malangas.

  20. V says:

    This is the best piece of literature I have read in a while.

  21. cat says:

    I think he speaks pretty good english but he gets lost in translation, he thought chick flick was a porn movie. By the way Kaiser I thought your story would make a better movie than EPL.

  22. dj says:

    I agree that he’s describing B.P. in European way. Unfortunately, he is backpedaling with Leno but I think on the inside he’s saying “Of course, puritanical, homophobic Americans would sadly make a big deal of this! I don’t get it but I’m over it.” I wouldn’t want to continue to talk about this over and over again on every talk/publicity outlet for months.

  23. Cleo says:

    Spaniards can get away with saying stuff like Almodovar films.

  24. bizzy says:

    @Jazmin: if your are Spanish like me, there is one just like him in every bodega

    haha, yeah, that’s how i feel about being irish and jonathan rhys meyers. there’s at least one like him working in every pub in dublin.

  25. Sans says:


    Cillian Murphy is Irish, do you have any more if him in Ireland. He was in 28 days later and in Inception.
    Let me know, I’ll book my flight.

    Good fan fiction Kaiser. Got a good laugh.

  26. Sans says:

    @ bizzy High cheek bones, ice blue eyes, dark hair, full lips, and melo. Like Cillian…let me know.
    I know you don’t have that running around, like it’s nothing.

  27. GatsbyGal says:

    Kaiser, I love you, let’s get gay-married. <3

  28. bizzy says:

    @Sans: i think cillian’s eyes are too far apart. but if he rocks your boat, seriously, those looks are pretty standard ‘black-irish’ (this is completely different from ‘black-american’). ireland has *really* good-looking guys. they’re a bunch of drunken cheats, but they’re really good-looking.

  29. Solveig says:

    @Katalina76, my same thoughts.

    @Jazmin, are there Iker Casillas, Jesùs Navas and Xavi Alonso’s look-alike too?

    Probably I’m blind or unlucky but when I visited Spain and Ireland I never met some of those doubles selling mangalas or cockles and mussels (alive, alive, oh).

  30. Chicoulina says:

    Brad still has it baby!!!Wow!!He’s looking good!!

  31. Sans says:

    @ bizzy he rocks my boat so hard he flips it over. Honestly it’s hard to really fantasize when he’s married, with kids,and not to mention I’ve never had a conversation with the person. I do enjoy his distinctive look, talent, and him being a private person.

    Hey it’s cool they’re dogs, go there for a flirtation and hot make-out session.

    I’m going to check out this whole black Irish thing.

  32. beth says:

    OMG, best commentary, and fantasy suggestion of the decade – Brad and Javier… what I would give to see those two rolling in the… er, actually the studios should consider making a film with these two leads as characters in love… I can see the thunderstorm of $$$ even from this distance… But I don’t want Brokeback Mountain 2. Between these two, this film better end happily ever after. Oh yeah, while, we’re at it, why don’t we throw in Benicio Del Toro… 😀

  33. Theuth says:

    Uh, Kaiser, you rock XD next time you should wrote the entire story, not just a tease! My panties are still on! ;D

  34. nel says:

    lol kaiser you are obsessed with homoerotic fan fiction! HOT

    anyway, as MK’s horny aunty would said “Javier BADAAYYUMMMMM”

  35. Jazmin says:

    @bizzy: What exactly is a black Irish?

    @Solveig: Yes, they are there, just stay away from touristy areas & you’ll find them. Word of caution: most–(not all) pretty men in Spain are jerks with foul mouths,including the Portuguese, unlike pretty boy Brad which seems to be a nice guy. A rough looking man like Javier will probably treat you better.

  36. canadianchick says:

    Hot! *steam clouding my blackberry*.. thanks Kaiser.

  37. Kitty2000 says:

    @bizzy. So true, and actually even if those Irish boys don’t really LOOK like the goods, they can talk your goddamn pants off. I went out with a fellow from Sligo who looked a bit like a ferret but he remains to this day one of the sexiest men I’ve ever met.

  38. Sans says:

    Y’all need to stop. I’m going to fly over to Ireland. I’m moving to NYC soon, I’m going to find out where they hang, my black Irish. Light eyes and dark hair. Beautiful.

  39. canadianchick says:

    Question for those in the know about Irish men, as per Ben Affleck in the film Good Will Hunting, is it true about the Irish curse/p*nis size? I have long admired Black Irish and want to know if they have the goods to back it up.

  40. Kim says:

    Katalina76 Didn’t Javier fall in love with Penelope while filming a movie?

  41. Sans says:

    LOL ….this is the best post ever, discussing the black Irish. Lord knows I hope to find out canadianchic. I have always lusted for men with dark hair and light eyes. The black Irish consist of 40% of the Irish population.

    I hope bizzy comes back and gives us some more juice.

  42. archiepelago says:

    Jazmin, Black Irish is a term that goes back in history to when the Spanish invaded Britain and raped and pillaged the women to create what is now called ‘Black Irish’ (think Colin Farrell with the dark hair, eyes and skin, almost swarthy). There are a lot of Scottish people with these kinds of features too so it cracks me up that Hollywood makes them all ginger and freckly.

  43. Mairead says:

    How the hell did I miss this post? 😯
    Bizzy, I’ll need to join sans to find out these mythically gorgeous Irish fellas. 😆 But for those of you planning a pilgrimage, be warned, Irish fellas come with Irish mammies in tow. 😐 Or in the case of Kitty2000’s ex, a Sligo accent *shudder*.

    I disagree slightly with Archiepelago on the Black Irish thing – the Spanish didn’t invade, exactly as the Spanish Armada during the Elizabethan period failed. All other contact with Spaniards was via trade – although there are much closer links with France – many people in the West of Ireland look quite French. Ireland was far closer to mainland Europe in terms of trade than with England up until the second half of the 18th century and later the Act of Union in 1801 made us completely subservient. There is also a strong genetic link with the Basque region of Spain and France going much further back.

    So the standard Irish look bizzy talks about isn’t really black Irish, but it is generic. The majority of Irish people have dark hair, pasty skin and blue eyes. And big-ass eyebrows for men. Like Mel Gibson, who’s looking more and more like a middle aged Irish bloke who worked on the building sites for 30 years and drank away every last drop of his wages.

    For those amazing Cillian eyes, I found in Co. Cork a number of people have those striking blue eyes. If you go you’ll realise that the slightly-arrogant air Cillian and Jonathan give off is inbred; they know that they’re from the best patch of land on the planet and nothing will change their minds 😆

  44. becca says:

    Ooooooo. I saw this on tv and it was awesome. 🙂

    I luff guys that are so comfortable in their masculinity that they can proclaim their man-crushes. ‘Tis sexy! 😀

  45. Sans says:

    Thank you Mairead….LOL. Sounds good to me. I can tell Cillian is confident, in a good way.

  46. crista says:

    Jumping in on the Irish conversation. Cillian is pretty/creepy Jonathan Rhys Meyers is gorgeous and sexy. They are similar in some ways but Meyers is sex on legs, Cillian so very not.
    Both are good actors