Paris Hilton’s cokevadge vows to return to Japan

LAS VEGAS - SEPTEMBER 20: Paris Hilton appears in court at the Clark County Regional Justice Center September 20, 2010 in Las Vegas, Nevada. Hilton pleaded guilty to two misdemeanors, drug possession and obstructing an officer, as part of a plea deal worked out with prosecutors following her August 27 arrest for cocaine possession on the Las Vegas Strip. As part of the agreement, Hilton will serve a year of probation, pay a USD 2,000 fine, serve 200 hours of community service and must complete a drug abuse program in order to avoid jail time and a felony conviction. (Photo by Isaac Brekken/Getty Images)

I’m a bit of a World War II nerd (and these are difficult days to be a WWII nerd, what with everyone raping history just to call people they disagree with “like Hitler” or “like Stalin”). So when I saw the headlines “Paris to Japan: I Shall Return,” I got a chill. Thankfully, Paris Hilton has no idea who General Douglas MacArthur was, so I don’t think we should worry. Anyway, after Paris Hilton’s little wonkblocked jaunt to Japan, she has vowed – on Twitter – that she will return at some point to visit all of her Asian fans. Note to Asia: Do NOT encourage this.

Sayonara, Paris. The controversial socialite was spotted Wednesday at Narita Tokyo Airport in Japan after being kicked out of the country because of her recent drug arrest in the U.S.

“I’m going back home, and I look forward to coming back to Japan in the future,” Hilton- wearing a black baseball cap and a navy sweat suit-told reporters before departing on her private jet.

“I’m really tired,” she added.

As RadarOnline.com was first to report, Hilton, 29, was detained and questioned for several hours over two days after arriving in Japan late Tuesday. Japan has strict immigration laws that bar entry to those convicted of drug offenses, although exceptions are occasionally granted.

Only a day before she arrived in Japan, Hilton copped a plea stemming from her arrest in Las Vegas last month on cocaine charges. In exchange for prosecutors dropping a felony charge, Paris pleaded guilty to two misdemeanors and was given a suspended sentence, fined and ordered to perform community service.

Hilton was to appear Wednesday at a news conference in Tokyo to promote her fashion and fragrance lines. In addition to canceling that appearance, Hilton also abruptly nixed planned appearances in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, and Jakarta, Indonesia. Her publicist, Dawn Miller, said Hilton plans to make the trips at a later date.

“Paris is very disappointed and fought hard to keep her business commitments and see her fans, but she is forced to postpone her commitments in Asia,” she said in a statement. “Paris understands and respects the rules and laws of the immigration authorities in Japan and fully wishes to cooperate with them.”

Just before taking off, Hilton tweeted a message to her fans.

“Going home now. So disappointed to miss my fans in Asia. I promise to come back soon. I love you all! Love Paris xoxo.”

[From Radar]

I do feel slightly bad for Paris, only because you know that flight was long and hellish, and you know it sucks hard to get right back on the plane for another long flight home. Still, it’s Paris, so she deserves it. And good on Japan. You know what I don’t understand though – why did she have to cancel her whole Asian tour? Those other countries don’t have the same laws as Japan – I bet Malaysia and Indonesia would let her come in. Another brilliant plan. I bet it didn’t even occur to her that she could skip Japan and still do the other countries. Paris thinks, “If my cokevadge can’t go to Japan, that must be the rule for all of the not white countries.”

Also, have we talked about this yet: When did Paris’s boobs get so f-cking big?

Paris Hilton listens to the judge at the Regional Justice Center in Las Vegas, Nevada September 20, 2010. Hilton pled guilty to charges stemming from her arrest for cocaine possession last month at the Wynn Las Vegas. REUTERS/Las Vegas Sun/Steve Marcus (UNITED STATES - Tags: ENTERTAINMENT CRIME LAW)

LAS VEGAS - SEPTEMBER 20: Paris Hilton appears in court at the Clark County Regional Justice Center September 20, 2010 in Las Vegas, Nevada. Hilton pleaded guilty to two misdemeanors, drug possession and obstructing an officer, as part of a plea deal worked out with prosecutors following her August 27 arrest for cocaine possession on the Las Vegas Strip. As part of the agreement, Hilton will serve a year of probation, pay a USD 2,000 fine, serve 200 hours of community service and must complete a drug abuse program in order to avoid jail time and a felony conviction. (Photo by Isaac Brekken/Getty Images)

Paris Hilton waits in the courtroom at the Regional Justice Center in Las Vegas, Nevada September 20, 2010. Hilton pled guilty to charges stemming from her arrest for cocaine possession last month at the Wynn Las Vegas. REUTERS/Las Vegas Sun/Steve Marcus (UNITED STATES - Tags: ENTERTAINMENT CRIME LAW IMAGES OF THE DAY)

Paris Hilton waits in the courtroom at the Regional Justice Center in Las Vegas, Nevada September 20, 2010. Hilton pled guilty to charges stemming from her arrest for cocaine possession last month at the Wynn Las Vegas. REUTERS/Las Vegas Sun/Steve Marcus (UNITED STATES - Tags: ENTERTAINMENT CRIME LAW)

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32 Responses to “Paris Hilton’s cokevadge vows to return to Japan”

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  1. Sumodo1 says:

    Yeah, especially Indonesia and Malaysia! Japan blocks you, and if you think the “morally” strict nations will let you in, you are sadly mistaken.

    This will happen elsewhere. I am old enough to remember when John Lennon had a hard time getting a US Visa (not the charge card, c’mon, people) once and then, his famous troubles getting a US “green card.”

    Paris’s rude awakening is just starting. She’s no Co-Kate Moss!

  2. si says:

    I think she believes Japan is Asia. She does not know there are other countries.

  3. Kaboom says:

    I remember that some of the Rolling Stones and Paul McCartney were refused to enter Japan over admitted druig use (McC was even caught with pot at Narita airport, afaik), so good luck for a nobody like Paris to ever set foot on those islands again.

  4. Tuatara says:

    Hope she loses a pile of money by being forced to cancel this trip.

    And I doubt her trip was “long and hellish”. Didn’t she arrive in a private jet?

  5. TaylorB says:

    Kaiser wrote: “Anyway, after Paris Hilton’s little wonkblocked jaunt to Japan, she has vowed – on Twitter – that she will return at some point to visit all of her Asian fans. Note to Asia: Do NOT encourage this.”

    I agree, first we hit them with ‘Fat Man’ and ‘Little Boy’, which was horrific on so many levels, we can not allow them to be hit by the ‘Skinny, Entitled, Rich, Self Important, Coked up, Brat’ bomb as well.

  6. Super Sleuth says:

    Her boobs are definitely bigger and I don’t think it’s the bra. I’m thinking boob job.

  7. Liz says:

    I know she’s rich, but my God she looks trashy like a trailerpark chick. Remember when the elite sent their kids to ivy league universities? That oil baron Brandon guy, Paris, the majority of the Kardashians- what happened to getting an education and carrying on a business? Why don’t these families encourage respectable young adult behavior anymore?

  8. Liz says:

    Btw I know the rich always partied, but at least they used to wrap it in a facade of respectability and intelligence

  9. mollination says:

    I know everyone is going to hate me, but I can’t explain why: I’m starting to think Paris is prettier than I used to. I always thought she was nasty but lately she’s looking better. Sorry.

  10. hairball says:

    I was thinking Paris is definitely starting to lose her youthful look and looking older. NOT old, but definitely not 21 anymore. For someone like her, that is probably killing her.

  11. Is it bad that I’m taking great pleasure in this whole debacle?

  12. Cam says:

    @si: “I think she believes Japan is Asia. She does not know there are other countries.”

    THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY.

  13. hairball says:

    And also, thank you to Japan for being the only ‘person’ in the world apparently that tells Paris using cocaine is not acceptable and will not be tolerated. (ie: Her behavior has consequences)

    I LOVE Japan at the moment.

  14. minnie says:

    come on! a hellish flight on her PRIVATE jet?!?!? have you seen the inside of that thing? its an aerial mansion!

  15. Juliette says:

    The thing about her boobs is because she probably has a very well padded push up bra on.

    I have a friend w/ the smallest boobs and when she wears her double push up bra you would swear they’re DD.

    Amazing what a little foam and some material can do for a girl’s ta tas.

  16. original kate says:

    the japanaese people bravely battled godzilla and the wonk-eyed beast vowed to return and wreak havoc on the island nation – just like paris!

    parilla? godaris?

  17. OC lady says:

    Hey Paris. I heard North Korea LOVES useless party girl/socialites! Kim Jong-il has tons of the good stuff and he always shares. Why don’t you go there? Oh please, pretty please, go to North Korea! 🙂

  18. No Sensei says:

    “I agree, first we hit them with ‘Fat Man’ and ‘Little Boy’, which was horrific on so many levels, we can not allow them to be hit by the ‘Skinny, Entitled, Rich, Self Important, Coked up, Brat’ bomb as well.”

    lmfao!

  19. dorothy says:

    I’m so bummed. I was really hoping they would keep her.

  20. Green Is Good says:

    @original kate:

    “the japanaese people bravely battled godzilla and the wonk-eyed beast vowed to return and wreak havoc on the island nation – just like paris!

    parilla? godaris?”

    **************************************

    Pariszilla!

    With her tugboat-sized feet, she could wipe out Tokyo with one stomp of her kunty Clydesdale stompers.

    And it must have been HELL traveling in her private jet. The horror, the horror….

  21. wonderful says:

    I find it funny that one of the days she chose to wear her magic push-up bra is a day she went before her male judge in court. That stuff only works in the movies, Paris.

  22. Chris says:

    Paris Hilton uses coke? OMG! Nearly everyone in Hollywood and the music industry has used coke too. A few of you seem to think it’s okay to take drugs as long as no one knows about it. Why is that so important?

  23. nag says:

    Those other countries Paris is not visiting now have penalties for drug possession of death by firing squad. Their rationale is that you are taking a life when supplying drugs. So you should lose yours as well to deter others. They don’t think of drugs as recreational at all.

  24. Molly. says:

    Sadly enough, I’ve perused this bitch’s twitpics and her private jet (or jetS) all have the same kind of beds saved for luxury hotel rooms.

    I wouldn’t feel too bad about her having to get back on the plane for another flight. Dumbass deserves it.

  25. Jane Q. Doe says:

    I’ve never noticed it before, but she’s got GIANT hands! In one of those pics, they look larger than her head…shudder.

  26. wunderkindt says:

    Good for Japan!

    Japan just saved ‘Asia’.

  27. Lia says:

    Just because Americans act silly and make a big deal out of celebrities doesn’t mean that other countries could give a rat’s ass about them. Paris Hilton is just an Ugly American to them. In our country, we are stupid in the way we worship celebrities. The rest of the world laughs at us for it.

  28. Kloops says:

    Holy crap! You’re right. Those hands ARE disproportionately huge.

  29. Lolly says:

    Paris should thank her lucky, lucky stars she didn’t get caught with her ‘gum’ in Indonesia.

    Indonesia (and Malaysia and Japan) are very anti-drugs and will give out lengthy jail sentences to be served in not very nice places – google Schapelle Corby, Scott Rush and Kerobokan prison if you’re interested

  30. Chris says:

    Where else should a woman try to hide her coke from the po-pos at short notice?

  31. TaylorB says:

    Chris wrote: “Where else should a woman try to hide her coke from the po-pos at short notice?”

    Good point.

    Those poor TSA cops, can you imagine the converstaion TSA Boss: ‘Officer you must root about in Paris Hiltons vadge’… Officer on duty:F*ck you, I would rather die and if I do it I just might’ Granted at least she didn’t shove it up her rear end, that adds yet another layer of disgusting to the entire process.

    Do they give purple hearts to TSA officers that do body cavity searches?

  32. The Bobster says:

    Cokevadge? Wouldn’t that make it numb?