Breaking: The Situation’s situation is miniscule. Or: “Code Red: Ridiculous Reality Star Faces Reductions (In His Pants).” Or: “Jersey Boy Disappoints in the Dong Department.” I could keep going, but I won’t. Star Magazine has an “exclusive” (Jesus Christ, Star!) with a girl who boned The Situation (Jersey Shore’s Mike Sorrentino). The girl “tells all” to Star about what The Situation was like in bed, and when I say “tells all,” I mean it. I’m surprised she didn’t draw a pictogram.
Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino may dazzle the ladies with his amazing abs, but another area of his anatomy is much less impressive!
In the Oct. 11 issue of Star, on sale now, one of his conquests dishes about her not-so-hot night with Dancing with the Stars and Jersey Shore star — complete with details about his, um, tiny manbits.
“I wouldn’t even call it a one-night stand, because he only lasted a few minutes,” Florida club promoter Melody Eckerson tells Star about their tryst in the Jersey Shore cast’s Miami Beach party pad.
Things started out normal enough and Melody admits she was even imagining what it would be like to be his girlfriend. But she got a huge surprise when the reality TV star dropped his pants and revealed — a very tiny Situation!
“Let’s just say, I’m thinking of my pinky,” Melody tells Star.
[From Star Magazine]
A pinky?!? Jesus. Sure, I’ll buy that Mr. Situation’s Little Situation is small. Isn’t he, like, a petite guy? He seems short in photos. He’s probably less than five and a half feet tall. And he has such pretty little features! So, yes, I would guess that if everything is proportional, he’s not very well endowed. But a pinky? That’s cold, bitch.
Why am I defending Mr. Situation, by the way? I have no idea. I just think this piece is rather mean!
The Situation on Sept. 20 & 22, 2010. Credit: WENN.