Radar reports that Kelly Preston will be giving birth very, very soon, and that she is planning to give birth using the Scientologist’s favorite form of maternal torture, “the silent birth”. This is not the first time I’ve heard about the Church of Scientology’s “silent birth” mandate, nor would John Travolta and Kelly Preston be the first Scientologists or friends-of-Hubbard who decided to try the “silent birth.” It was reported that Katie Holmes had a “silent birth” with Suri – and Jennifer Lopez might have tried it too. The whole idea behind it is babies remember EVERYTHING (or something) and that the whole act of being born is very traumatizing, and that when they come into this world with everybody shouting and crying and bitches be trippin’, it scars the baby’s soul, and haunts them forever and ever. Except, you know, in CoS-speak. Something about holograms and thought waves. Anyway, as some of the official keepers of the faith, Travolta and Preston are all about the silent birth:

John Travolta and wife Kelly Preston have been keeping silent about their joyous pregnancy, and RadarOnline.com has learned the superstar couple could be even quieter at the birth. While Hollywood awaits the Travolta’s baby, that is expected to be delivered imminently, the one thing for certain already is that the pair’s religious faith will play a major role.

Travolta and Preston are both members of the Church of Scientology and are likely to follow the group’s ‘silent birth’ guidelines when Preston finally does go into labor. That means no music and no talking during the birth, and no screaming during the pains of labor!

“One is meant to be as silent as possible so as to not give the child a ‘birth engram’ with ‘hypnotic’ type phrases and sounds that will re-stimulate him later in life,” a former high-profile leader of the Church, Amy Scobee, told RadarOnline.com.

Engram is a term used in Scientology that refers to a ‘recording’ of a past painful event not normally accessible to the conscious mind.

According to the Scientology theology shared by Travolta and Preston – whose son Jett, 16, died last year after he suffered a seizure hitting in the Bahamas – babies should not be subjected to any discomfort via sensory experiences after the birthing process. The apparent reasoning is because they’ve already endured so much pain being born and further distress could haunt them in the future.

This will be the third child for Travolta and Preston. After the death of Jett, the couple was plagued by controversy when the Grease star testified during an extortion case that his son was autistic, a disease the organization does not recognize, thus placing him in contradiction with views of Scientology.

Preston told Redbook she tried to follow the Scientology guidelines during the birth of her daughter Ella Bleu, but said, “It got hard core at the end because she was so big.”

After 13 hours of labor at their home, she asked her husband to take her to the hospital because she “want[ed] an epidural!” but traffic was so bad, the Travoltas never made it. Preston has not been seen in public in over a month, with her last appearance being at the Casino Jack premiere during the Toronto International Film Festival in September. A rep for the couple told RadarOnline.com there was no news yet to report about their pregnancy.

[From Radar]

Yeah… don’t get me wrong, I admire women who go through labor naturally and who are at all capable of bringing a baby into the world in a very peaceful and graceful way. God bless. But I need drugs just thinking about something that big coming out of me. Like, seriously, I’m sitting here thinking about how I need a drink just because I’m writing about this. I hate pain. I cannot deal with pain. I know that about myself, and I’m fine with being a wuss. Give me the drugs and let me scream and cry.