“The Love Guru” is so bad they should pay you to see it

Critics say that “The Love Guru,” Mike Myers’ asinine riff on new age spiritualism, is so bad and so soul-sucking that it’s hard to even describe how awful a movie-going experience it is. Reviewers at The NY Times, Slate, and other outlets say they’re at a loss to explain how truly awful it is and how uncomfortable, angry and depressed they were after sitting through it. While Austin Powers was arguably funny, Myers’ first film in 5 years just falls flat, digs a hole, craps in it, and expects you to think it’s funny.

Slate: “the most joy-draining 88 minutes I’ve ever spent outside a hospital waiting room”

There are good movies. There are bad movies. There are movies so bad they’re good (though, strangely, not the reverse). And once in a while there is a movie so bad that it takes you to a place beyond good and evil and abandons you there, shivering and alone. Watching The Love Guru (Paramount Pictures) is a spiritual experience of a sort, but not the sort that its creator and star, Mike Myers, intended. This tale of a guru who brings joy to all who meet him is the most joy-draining 88 minutes I’ve ever spent outside a hospital waiting room. In the course of those long minutes, Myers leads you on a journey deep inside himself, to the source from whence his comedy springs—and it’s about as much fun as a tour of someone’s large intestine.

[From Slate]

NY Times: it will “make you wonder if you will ever laugh again”

Which might sum up “The Love Guru” in its entirety but only at the risk of grievously understating the movie’s awfulness. A whole new vocabulary seems to be required. To say that the movie is not funny is merely to affirm the obvious. The word “unfunny” surely applies to Mr. Myers’s obnoxious attempts to find mirth in physical and cultural differences but does not quite capture the strenuous unpleasantness of his performance. No, “The Love Guru” is downright antifunny, an experience that makes you wonder if you will ever laugh again.

[From The NY Times]

Video Hound: “the kind of cultural and comedic offense that audiences should demand retribution after seeing.”

Someone needs to be punished. The Love Guru isn’t just your average bad movie. Smoothly limbo-ing below already low expectations, this “alleged” comedy is the kind of cultural and comedic offense that audiences should demand retribution after seeing. And just giving them back their money won’t do. Mike Myers and Jessica Alba are the main cinematic war criminals in question here, but they’ll probably get away with this disaster and move on unscathed to commit more comedic terrorism. Justin Timberlake is bulletproof, but poor Romany Malco and Meagan Good should be worried. Of course, they’re not to blame. Every single flaw of The Love Guru falls at the feet of the once-talented, but clearly now completely delusional, Mike Myers. This week’s Entertainment Weekly contains a shockingly harsh article about Myers that inspired me to think that he must have been a total prick when the mag interviewed him back in April. Why else would they run such a negative piece about a movie the week of its release? Now I know. They saw the movie and, like me, they’re angry.

[From Video Hound]

Chicago Sun Times, Roger Ebert: “a dreary experience”

Myers has made some funny movies, but this film could have been written on toilet walls by callow adolescents. Every reference to a human sex organ or process of defecation is not automatically funny simply because it is naughty, but Myers seems to labor under that delusion. He acts as if he’s getting away with something, but in fact all he’s getting away with is selling tickets to a dreary experience.

[From Chicago Sun Times]

There’s one character who is getting praise – critics say Justin Timberlake’s cameo as a French Canadian hockey player is pretty funny, but in no way worth sitting through even ten minutes more of the movie.

The Love Guru is up against Get Smart for opening weekend winner at the box office. Love Guru currently has a 15% aggregate critic’s rating on Rotten Tomatoes while Get Smart, with Steve Carrell and Anne Hathaway, has a more respectable 52%. Neither is a great film, but one is clearly more awful.

Stills below are from The Love Guru thanks to All Movie Photo. Thanks to The Huffington Post for the idea for this article.

Here are the trailers for The Love Guru and Get Smart

Love Guru

Get Smart

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24 Responses to ““The Love Guru” is so bad they should pay you to see it”

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  1. devilgirl says:

    Could it be worse than Lohan’s “I know Who Killed Me”, or M.Knights “The Village”- If it is, then there should be some sort of compensatory measure for theater goers. I can’t imgine anything being worse than the two I mentioned. Ishtar has nothing on them!

  2. mollination says:

    Devilgirl- I’ll admit “The Village” was an abomination of M.Night’s career, but doesn’t “The Happening” look scary as hell??

  3. devilgirl says:

    @Mollination I wouldn’t mind seeing The Happening, Wahlberg is in it, so that alone makes it worth while for me. I normally like M.Knight’s movies, but his last few have been dogs!

  4. Ron says:

    Oh save your money! I saw a screening of the Happening at Fox last week. 2 hours I am so pissed off I will never get back! M Night needs to find another kind of vehicle. The best they can say is the movie is R rated…think about it. As far as the Love Guru goes, even the trailers are bad. I am amazed he got so many decent people to do the film really. So that leaves Get Smart this weekend.

  5. Donaldo says:

    M. Night Shamalamadingdong thinks his audience is stupid, and it’s even more apparent with his recent Not Happening movie. It got rightfully panned, and then Night has the nerve to come out and say that it’s supposed to be a B-movie. Even if it was, it sux!!!

  6. squeaky says:

    Rule of Thumb: any movie with jessica alba is going to suck, unless you just put her in a bikini and don’t let her speak. that poor girl cannot act. I feel bad for Romany Malco; I love him in Weeds; he deserves better.

  7. Mairead says:

    Plus a voice-cameo by the “In A Wurrrrld Guy” (aka The Voice Over Guy)

    And Ben Kingsley?!?! 😯

  8. Leah says:

    My boyfriend usually loves Mike Myers (though God knows why), but after watching this movie, he said, “Well, that’s 90 minutes of my life that I can never get back.” Not a single person in the theatre laughed, giggled, chortled, or even said “ha” the entire time. Half-way through, everyone just started talking and yelling at the screen, like it was a midnight showing of “Rocky Horror,” except that the only funny dialogue going on was in the audience.

  9. Banana Boat says:

    Haha! I saw a ‘day in the life’ of the ‘In A WUUURLLD…” Movie voice over guy. The man has a limo pick him up and drop him off when he is done from projects.. he gets paid. Looks like a regular guy, I swear he has the best job ever.

    Shymalan’s The Village was so bad I was talking back to the screen (we rented it so I didn’t piss off an audience) it was so terrible. That line they said ‘The name we shall not speak” or what not. My husband referred to it as “That movie whose name we shall not say..” SUCK!

    I like Glitter, Clash of the Titans, Any movie by Steven Seagal and ‘Crossroads’ That Britney movie) as hilarious crap movies to watch and talk back to. Sometimes it’s fun. usually alcohol needs to be involved.

  10. Jack says:

    they show best bits in the trailor. that was dire.

  11. Diva says:

    So glad I saw this before taking the kids to see it, they love Mike Myers… we’re going to Get Smart!

  12. Dingles says:

    Um, I really liked “The Village.” Joaquin Phoenix can do no wrong in my eyes.

    Considering this movie stars Mike Myers, Jessica Alba and Justing effing Timberlake, can anyone be surprised that it’s terrible?? Like really.

  13. vdantev says:

    I knew this movie was a sh*tty idea when I first read the premise behind it. Midgets by themselves aren’t funny unless you’re 12 years old. Justin Timberf*ck is unwatchable in any capacity. Jessica Alba, while pretty to look at, is the kiss of death to any movie as well. She needs to go ahead and take her top off already at this point.

  14. Because I say So says:

    LOL @ Leah, Vdantev, & Squeaky.

    …still trying to figure out why MiserAlba gets hired. I don’t think she’s anything special to look at, and lawd knows the mannequin can’t act….so I just don’t get it.

    Plus, why, oh WHY, do people put JT in movies? His voice is annoying enough when he sings! How can we be expected to listen to him when he talks???!

  15. paris herpes says:

    It was painful to even watch the preview. Hopefully this 15 year old girl that I mentor won’t want to see it because we just saw the Zohan movie and I think I laughed only twice.

  16. sassyspank says:

    “The Guru” is banned in India (for obvious reasons) Won’t be lining up to see that movie, also – can somebody tell me why you hated “The Village” so much? I’m not a big fan of his – though “6th Sense” was excellent. “The Village” was by no means, a “great” movie – but I thought the story line was fairly clever… more thought was put into it than a lot of other movies coming out as of late.

  17. Kris says:

    Actually, I saw Get Smart and I enjoyed it, as most of the theater did as well. People that came out of Love Guru were pissed and complaining – so we can see who’s going to come out on top this weekend at the box office.

  18. Persistent Cat says:

    Although part of me is a little happy to see hockey getting some attention, the Leafs suck and Mike Myers just has to be stopped.

  19. Diva says:

    My car blew the head gasket on the way to the cinema so I didn’t get to make my stand against Myers and go see Get Smart with the kids…. I feel robbed!


  20. Dame says:

    It cant be worse than the village. Shamalama is the worst writer ever…

  21. Mandy says:

    In 2nd grade, my class had to read a book called “Running Out of Time.” It’s about a girl who thinks she’s living in the 19th century, but it’s just a reenactment village and none of the parents tell their kids. Then there’s a diphtheria epidemic, and they send the girl out into the real world to get medicine. Now doesn’t that plot seem familiar…? 😕

  22. Amy says:

    I’m not surprised — the trailer looks so terrible. Austin Powers was funny a million years ago, but got old quickly and didn’t warrant those terrible sequels.

    I loved So I Married an Axe Murderer — not a bodily function in the whole thing, as I recall. Has he regressed?

    Also, I think Myers is trying to be Peter Sellers, but fails miserably.

  23. Maja says:

    Eurgh, the trailers to both movies look terrible. I loved Mike Myers in the Austin Powers movies, and Wayne’s World, but seriously man, the love guru looks like a pile of pig sh*t. The fact that they put the best parts into the trailer and there wasn’t ANYTHING good in them? That’s really bad. The Happening was absolutely awful. I didn’t like the plot, and it was pretty sad, because there were some great actors in there, but they had nothing to work with. And M.Knight’s movies are usually really fantastic, so that made me even sadder that he had regressed so much (like Myers). I haven’t seen Get Smart, and I don’t plan on it, because both Anne Hathaway and Steve Carrel are probably my least favourite actors ever. Jessica Alba, although admittedly not a fantastic actress, shouldn’t be submitted to the disgusting things people have said about her (vdantev, I’m talking to you). Just say no. We live in the 21st century, f*ckers.

  24. silly lilly says:

    well maybe he will pull a kid rock and urge everyone to illegally download it or something.