Okay, I know she’s 68 and I know she’s a legend and I know I reenact Private Dancer whenever I’m alone and cleaning the house, but can we talk about this for a minute:
This is Tina Turner in Paris, France receiving the distinguished ‘Legion D’Honneur Award‘… wearing green glitter slinky and hair that would make the cast of Steel Magnolias jealous.
Now before you start with me about how she’s an eight time Grammy winner, is the reigning “Queen of Rock and Roll”, is the most successful female rock artist of all time and has sold more concert tickets than any other solo performer in history, I’d like to point out that in the Los Angeles garment district, green glitter slinky runs about $2.99 a yard.
With all her hundreds of millions she couldn’t have someone bring her a dress that cost at least $20 to wear to a ceremony that has been preceded by such notables as Dwight D. Eisenhower, Josephine Baker, Winston Churchill, Barbra Streisand, Victor Hugo and Julia Child? (I love me a notable that’s a culinary goddess.)
I mean I KNOW her skin is freakin’ porcelain and her blush is the perfect shade of warm apricot and she’s got fabulous cleavage and gams for days, but you’re a Buddhist Tina Turner: Your hair doesn’t have to be closer to God!
She can’t always look like this:
But can’t we tone down that Coral-From-Hell lip color, lose that knock-off Heart of the Ocean necklace someone picked up at Lane Bryant and be a Proud Mary in hopes that death by fashion suicide isn’t what is beyond Thunderdome?
Header photos and images below with Giorgio Armani are from WENN. Second photo from Topwomen.org
There are no words…..
……yes there are; I know as people age they are sometimes obliged to wear the adult version of nappies…..BUT ON THE OUTSIDE??? 😯
…and why the fuck is she getting the legion of honour? What did she ever do for France?
That – for sure – is definitely NOT the most flattering photograph of her.
But she rocks just the same.
She’s 68? Amazing woman. I can’t even bring myself to say a single negative word about anything she does.
I imagine she did for France what she did for everyone else: She danced and sang her heart out.
PROUD MARY!
She looks fine. Not sure what you’re talking about.
If it were a shin length dress, it would have been fine. I like her wig and her makeup. It’s Tina, for Pete’s sake.
I like everything except the, uh, garment. I can’t believe she is 68 – wow!
For her age, she looks great. I hope when I am 68 I look half as good. So she had a bad hair day, haven’t we all? The outfit, well it looks like she was wading flood waters and it isn’t the least bit figure flattering.
She looks amazing for her age, but I’m not a fan of her outfit as well. Maybe she didn’t want to wear something skin tight that day. But I wouldn’t exactly call her skin porcelain, radiant and glowing, yes, but not Casper.
she looks like an elephant’s bottom from the “waist” (wherever that’s hiding) down.
Ok, I’ll give you porcelain *could* mean transluscent and very smooth, not necessarily pale, which wouldn’t be as lovely as Tina’s colouring.
Her wig is fine. The outfit is cringe worthy but she’s Tina Turner so she’s cool no matter what she does.
don’t nobody talk no smack about my Tina, you hear?!?!
Nice padded nasty comment on large women. Micah. Kudos. Very clever. I am assuming I am not the first person to say you are a *$$hole.
FYI – Fashionistas – such as yourself- have convinced large women who are likely to shop at Lane Bryant that they can detract attention from their girth by wearing huge crap jewelry.
Free free to have me banned .. but that Lane Bryant comment was offensive as hell – and was completely included to slam large women who try to look pretty by wearing crap fashion types tell them they need to wear to be acceptable to society.
Think I am wrong or too harsh? Think for yourself – Why did he say Lane Bryant specifically and not HSN or QVC or some other brand that would suggest tacky? He used that particular brand associated with large women for a reason.
tina turner could wear a purple glitter trash bag for a dress and she’d still be the hottest thing in the room. girl can sing, girl can strut, girl looks fabulous for 68! go tina!
While I’m not a fan of the outfit she chose. There is no way Tina shops at the local Lane Bryant. They don’t even carry sizes that small. Very rude to suggest that Miss Tina is plus sized. Or to suggest that people who shop at Lane Bryant are lower class. CB should be ashamed of themselves. Completely uncalled for, I’m disgusted and disappointed.
bad outfit, but otherwise she looks great!
Well Armani doesn’t seem too bothered by her ‘cheap’ dress and ‘knock-off’ necklace, but then he’s probably not as shallow as some people… 🙄
Fabulous!
WTF? Go back to your hair spray, Micah! Give us the LADIES any day.
“She looks fine” my ass…why not just call it what it is…a Fashion Victim.
Is it a dress?…is it a unitard?…WTF would you call that thing she’s wearing??
I don’t care for the dress, but I’m also ticked at the Lane Bryant remark. FYI, Micah, Lane Bryant is not cheap. It’s not haute couture, but it’s nice clothes for women size 16 and over, and I’d bet there are more women that size than little ones. So you’re ticking off a lot of women here.
I shop at Lane Bryant myself. Just recently paid $50 for a pair of summer slacks and $40 for a shirt to go with them. Oh – and the underpants were on sale at $5 a pair so I bought five pair. This is not cheap and trashy clothing. Back off.
LOVE her. Is it just me or, in the close-up shot, does she look like Martha Stewart? Same hair and smile. . . . just saying.
Ban Micah, hire Wil 🙂
Oh, and for some reason I need to state that I am not ‘plus sized’ so it’s not that. The article was just snippy and too mean spirited for this blog.
One night battered and bloodied from an all night punching session by her husband Ike Turner, Tina walked away with 38 cents in her pocket to become an original R&B goddess who still rocks harder than performers half her age- so all your critics and haters can kiss her ass.
She got the medal because she f*cking deserves it- unlike you critics who’ve done NOTHING with your lives of note.
Come on, this is why medals have become meaningless. This was a medal created by Napoleon for bravery in battle, and they’re giving it to Tina Turner? I’m not saying she doesn’t deserve awards… but this one? Let’s put Angelina Jolie up for the Medal of Honor while we’re at it.
Granted, those clashes with Ike were more combat than any Frenchman has seen since World War I, but it just doesn’t seem to mesh with the sentiments of the award.
Can we all agree that we should just abolish all existing awards and start from scratch? It’s not special when EVERYONE has them. Yasser Arafat has a Nobel Peace prize for Christ’s sake. And Bono too right? In fact, lets make that a law. Any award Bono has been a recipient of should be abolished without delay. That’s the least we can do for our grandchildren.
Oh, and the fat thing? Seriously? Granted, I know dick about fashion, but the entire article was about how tacky she was looking right? So why would that ONE reference be to fat, instead of tacky? Unwind those extra-wide briefs folks, they’re cutting off blood flow to your brain. I suppose we can’t make fun of McDonalds either without insulting fat people?
Now who’s really pigeonholing fat people here? Cause it seems an awful lot like it was you who made the connection that Lane Bryant = fat, not him.
Whatever, Scott. No-one said she deserved the award. She lives in France though doesn’t she, maybe she does a crap load of humanitarian work there. Regardless, awards are silly. No-one really cares what it is or is about. I really think you have to be a woman to understand the significance of Tina’s life story and why we would defend her. Also, you probably need to be woman to understand why Micah’s article is annoying.
In the first pic, I thought that was Paula Abdul. Are they sharing the same plastic surgeon? I’ve loved Tina since I was 5 years-old. She’s dressing for her age, why does she need to wear Saran wrap in order to look good? She looks fine.
Re: The Lane Bryant comment. Micah talked about the jewelry at Lane Bryant, not the clothing. At no point did he ever call Tina “fat,” make any intimation that she was heavy, or even say the dress looked like it was from Lane Bryant. He said the dress was made of cheap glitter fabric – and look at it, it does have an, um, very unflattering shape. Yes she is fabulous, and he said that five different ways at the beginning. I also agree that she is really looking amazing.
Here’s what he said, again about her necklace:
“lose that knock-off Heart of the Ocean necklace someone picked up at Lane Bryant.”
He also talked about how great she looked:
“I mean I KNOW her skin is freakin’ porcelain and her blush is the perfect shade of warm apricot and she’s got fabulous cleavage and gams for days, but you’re a Buddhist Tina Turner: Your hair doesn’t have to be closer to God!”
I spoke to Micah and he said “It wasn’t a slam on Lane Bryant or large women. It was strictly a comment from my experience of shopping there. Honestly I know plenty of people who shop at QVC or HSN and would be offended by anyone calling QVC/HSN jewelry tacky.”
He is a snarkier writer and will try his best to go easy on people, but I honestly believe that you are reading into what he wrote incorrectly. He is saying he doesn’t like the jewelry at Lane Bryant. Is that a criticism of larger sizes or did he ever even insinuate that Tina is heavy? He is focusing on her hair and clothing, and on the clothing issue I think he’s right. That dress is not that great. But you know, a lot of you are right and she is damn Tina Turner and can do no wrong.
Well maybe Micah should save his snark for those that deserve it.
First Ed Harris, dismissed for the most pathetic of reasons plus no clue on Harris’s movie credentials (too busy bitching to do some research?) Now Tina Turner, iconic in every way, trivialised because of how she looks on a day when she’s being appreciated by everyone else (and I haven’t a clue who Lane Bryant are, so it wasn’t about size implications for me.) Poor judgement.
Who’s next? Nelson Mandela and his ‘tacky’ shirts and poor posture?
snarky can be fun at times.
i swear i thought it was paula abdul too. I thought the author was joking until i got to the second paragraph.. then I realized it really wasn’t paula but tina.. whoa.
Forget the green glitter and the helmut hair…whats up with her tying her dress around her knees??? Looks like she just came back from skipping rocks on the pond.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but Armani was getting the Légion d’Honneur that day. Tina Turner was only attending and wearing her “Officier des Arts et des Lettres” medal, on what was, after all a formal occasion (where else do you get to wear medals?)
That she should get that art medal is quite appropriate… that Armani should get France’s the Légion d’honneur is questionnable…
She looks lovely and very elegant.
She looks better at almost 70 than Lohan at 22!!!! Now-the blue garment would look good on absolutely no one. Her hair/wig frames her face-lovely.
she already won the award.. years ago.
she could have looked better yeah… but get the details right
retard
Anna Mae Bullock is the queen! Forget Aretha Franklin! Tina Turner’s still got IT, and she looks great no matter what she’s wearing! Stop hatin’!
And Georgio Armani is one hot-looking grandpa! I’d definitely hit it!
Im a huge fan and Tina looks great no matter what she wears, So the haters need to just sit their ass down.
Oh and it wasnt Tina that was being honored it was Armani she was just there.
The outfit was actually designed for her by Armani. I agree it’s not flatering from the waist down at all. And it’s Armani who is receiving the award not Tina.
I’m a big fan, love her to bits, though I agree not the best outfit. The hair is ok in my opinion.
ok, for all you bitching and complaining about the author’s comment on her “dress,” i offer you this proposal. i will personally give you $100 (+ costs) if you can replicate this (imo) pre-tickle fight playboy mansion pajama party outfit. after its completion, you will then have to wear it at a formal gathering whether it be a funeral, a wedding, or any soiree as long as it’s considered “formal,” as was the occasion at which she wore this thing, a “frock.” i’m still at a loss as to what to actually call it. you must also videotape said occasion as evidence. other than her hair the author’s only complaint was this thing she decided to don, which we all have to be honest, is quite hideous. anyone up to the challenge? i didn’t think so! so shut yer yap and stop visiting a site called celebitchy if you’re gonna get your panties in a bunch over it. which looks like what this did to ms. turner btw. snap. and she’s still looking damn fine too.
The jumpsuit was designed by Armani himself. Get over it.