I tend to think Ryan Phillippe is a douche. I can’t really put my finger on it, though, like I can with someone like John Mayer. Ryan’s douche seems like a culmination of his rumored wandering eye, his general aura of sleaze, his habit of going for the youngest available blonde… yeah, so maybe I can put my finger on it. Anyway, one of the (few) things I like about Ryan is that he and his ex-wife Reese Witherspoon seems to be solid as ex-spouses who put their children first. You never really hear anything about Reese and Ryan fighting about their kids, and it seems like they’ve got the whole shared custody thing figured out. While Ryan will talk in detail about his exes – including some choice bitching about his split from Reese – I like that neither of them really disrespects the other’s girlfriend/boyfriend. Reese never said a thing about Abby Cornish, and Ryan rarely said anything but simple well-wishes to Jake Gyllenhaal, when Jake and Reese were dating.
So Ryan decided to issue a statement about Reese’s engagement to Jim Toth. While the words sound nice, I am detecting an undercurrent of…something else. Once again, I can’t exactly put my finger on it:
Reese Witherspoon’s first husband more than approves of the man about to be her second. Ryan Phillippe, who was wed to Witherspoon for seven years until 2008, is praising the actress’ recent engagement to CAA agent Jim Toth.
“I’m very happy for both Reese and Jim,” the actor tells the Daily News in a statement. “I wish nothing but the best for the mother of my children.”
Phillippe and Witherspoon have two kids together – Ava, 11, and Deacon, 7. The former couple met and fell in love while working on the 1999 film “Cruel Intentions.” Since their split, both stars have gone on to high-profile relationships: Witherspoon with Jake Gyllenhaal, and later Toth, and Phillippe with Abbie Cornish. The “Crash” star is now dating Amanda Seyfried, whom he was first linked to in late October.
In the May issue of Men’s Health, Phillippe said he still had “sadness and complicated feelings about my divorce,” but wondered, “how beneficial is it to keep hanging onto those feelings?”
The month before, he spoke highly of his current relations with Witherspoon on Howard Stern’s Sirius XM radio show, revealing they have “gotten to a place where we’re great friends and great co-parents.”
He also said that their children weren’t too interested in their parents’ love lives.
“If the kids care about mom dad, and if that’s consistent and they feel protected that way, they don’t they don’t really care so much about who the parent is dating,” he said. “They just don’t.”
[From The NY Daily News]
“I wish nothing but the best for the mother of my children.” Is that a weird way to say it? It would be perhaps too impersonal to say “I wish nothing but the best for my ex-wife.” And maybe he didn’t want to just say “I’m so happy for Reese.” But to just identify her as “the mother of my children”. It’s weird, right? Or am I nit-picking? It just struck me as strange.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
Not a weird comment at all.
My ex husband, a super guy I will always love, is the father of my sons.
(Father of my girls is my current hubby.)
It is a special title.
This was the chad lowe thing. or the ethan hawke thing. wife got more famous/rising star.
however, he has never seemed douchey to me at all. i never got why people thought htat. but i dont really pay much atten tion to him. saw him in igby goes down and was surprised that he’s a pretty good actor.
also, abbie cornish is not blonde, and reese wasn’t back then either, according to these pics-so he is not alwys going after the ‘youngest avaible blonde’-it would appear….
I like reese as a brunette better-she looks more washed up as a blonde.
oh, and I didn’t think his comments were weird-i thought he was very respectful, paying her regards that she is the mother of his children, which is a more substantial role than ‘ex wife’.
Frankly, motherhood is not a legal contract, or necessarily a spiritual one. It’s something else-something that is only initially a choice [to have a child/get pregnant, even subconsciously]-and after that, you cannot ‘get out of it’-you are related. lol
I mean, mother of my children to me is deferring to Reese, with utmost respect. That’s my take on it.
Well… maybe that’s really what he feels is the only remaining connection between the two of them.
Ashton Kutcher looks like he borrowed his sister’s clothes – head to toe.
While I don’t really care for Phillippe, it sounds to me like he’s simply acknowledging her significance in his life. No longer husband and wife, perhaps not even friends, but her importance is solidified by the common bond of offspring.
I realize that sounds a tad obvious, but far too many divorced couples lose sight of the impact their attitude towards one another can have on their children.
Just maybe it is his way of giving her respect as the mother of his children. Both kids are gorgeous and well-behaved. Very sweet and well-adjusted children. They seem to be good parents. He can’t be all bad. There is much worse out there.
@Ash – that’s exactly how I read it. They’re not involved romantically, but she will always be an important person in his life – as the mother of his children.
Hmm. Maybe he wanted to stress that’s how he views her first and foremost? Not in relation to their failed marriage, but as the woman who is momma to his kids.
I dunno..
They looked so cute as a couple in the early years. If he had truly wished the best for the mother of his children he wouldn’t have cheated on her. Since he did, the words ring hollow, although I’m sure both are trying to be civil for the sake of their children.
Hmmmmm.. Its almost as if he’s saying he has to be happy for her BECAUSE she’s the mother of his children??
Or! She’s the mother of my children Jim Toth! MY CHILDREN!
I dunno… We’re both over thinking this. :-p
I think as an actor he is trying to kiss some CAA ass.
It is a little weird sounding, but maybe he didn’t want to use the words “ex wife” because ex is just so negative.
That’s what she is “the mother of his kids” Would it be better if he said “I wish the best for the ex-wife I cheated on” They are not friends they are co parents.That’s their relationship.
Kiki – LOL, I think we are overthinking it! It just struck me as a weird way to congratulate Reese, but I think we’re kind of alone!
He almost sounds noble compared to some of these other dbags out there.
They’ve been divorced for a while so I’m sure it’s all good between them.
I agree with Ash.
I think ‘mother of my children’ speaks to the role Reese will ALWAYS have in his life.
I think its a sign of respect. I really admire the way the handled things in regards to their children especially because the divorce happened as a result of infidelity.
But you know what i am starting to wonder of the young blonde starlets are not going after him because he seems to have the “magic touch”. You know every woman he is with ends up being more successful than him. HA, yeah i think he is a douche to Kaiser.
she looks gorgeous in that top pic. i’ve heard she’s a real tart though
His comments are very respectful. A far cry from the Charlie Sheens, Jesse James and Kelsey Grammars of this world.
He is a douche. I think on a personal level they went through a lot and grew up together so he genuinely loved her at one point when he wasn’t as much of a jerk, and was probably more faithful to her than he’ll ever be to anyone else. So my verdict this is as close to a classy,sentimental statement he can make.
I really don’t understand why his statement would require the secret decoder ring treatment. A co-parent relationship is a permanent bond and any successful co-parent would want the other to be happy if only for the kids’ sake. And I agree he has a kind of douche-y vibe!
I don’t see anything wrong with what he said, I actually admire those two. They’ve really remained amicable and co-parent really well. The children seem happy and comfortable.
It sounds a bit passive-aggressive to me. Like “yeah she’s going to marry you, but dude she had MY babies”
Weird and Sleezy. His life and career sure doesn’t seem to have improved since the divorce. Now he can’t blame Reese for his career short-comings.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Reese has more children with Jim. She seems really into family.
I actually detect a hint of posessiveness in his words. It’s almost as if he is reiterating the fact that he is the father of her children. Ir’s actually kind of cute. I do agree with whoever said that he is definitely making sure not to piss CAA off which is a smart move in my opinion. Kinda miss them as a couple though.
Have you seen him in Gosford Park? Paired with his motionless face the given statement could be one of the lines of his character in the film. I think that whatever is on his mind, he sees this approach as the most polite. It’s OK, he’s been through hard times while young and in all media he came out of the divorce as the villain. He deserves some slack.
he’s definitely a hard read. but here’s my take…motherhood kills the sexy for some men…like ryan.
ben affleck (his name always makes me think of that duck quacking aflac) & tiger woods immediately come to mind.
so they have their other women…vices…etc. but this is the vibe, me thinks, he’s putting out there with that statement. like a backhanded compliment.
what Ryan said about Reese is taking the high road. kind of like how Paul Newman’s first wife has never said anything negative about him in the press though he left her for a good friend of hers to whom he was married for nealry 51 years. of course he and Jacqui Witt had three children together one of whom died of a drug overdose in 1978 & he and Joanne Woodward nearly had 4 together though she miscarried their first. something hopefully Reese never experiences
I think that state is sweet really. Regardless of what happened She IS the MOTHER of his children. Children he seems to love and actually spend time with. I recall an interview and he said he was heading somewhere because his son was missing him.
I find respect when men say of their ex. the mother of my children. That is a title no other woman has in his life. He and Reese were VERY young when they married. Maybe it was too much too soon for him. Anyway People grow up and some people actually can Divorce and get along. They have a connection that neither has with anyone else right now.. 2 in fact: Ava and Deacon (their children)
For some men that means something. Others we have seen (won’t name names) don’t seem to give sh** about the woman that brought their children in the world judging by the way they all act in public.
Maybe he put that in there so people realize why he’s commenting? So he doesn’t seem like a famewhore about it.
Hmm. I always find it a bit dehumanizing and possessive… like, the kids are his property and she was the ‘thing’ that bestowed them unto him– when someone says that. Also when a woman refers to the man that way.
Children arent possessions and even so are the children of both people- so at least say “our” children or “as my/our childrens mother” is somehow still more likeable than ‘mother of—‘ its like grasping at straws when it comes to saying something nice. That puts a huge gap to differentiate between joint parents and individual ‘producers’ of the children, and then further to signify ownership or control entitelment… he can only respect her because she has to be respected as she is related to his kids?? Otherwise he would entirely blot her from his life? I can pick at this for hours LOL 🙂
I don’t think it was weird at all. He probably obviously still cares about her but not in a romantic way, therefore he said he’s happy for the mother of his children. Sounds legit to me! 🙂
I think it is a respectful way to congratulate them. I hope my ex-husband feels that way about me someday…
I asked my mom about this, because I hear older people use this terminology more often, and the gist is this: Amongst older divorced people especially, this is a sign of respect. Referencing someone as the co-parent of your children is a way of saying that you’ll always treat them respectfully because of that relationship. i.e. that person gave you your kids – that person will therefore always be special and worthy of kindness. I really think this was just a simple statement that he intended to mean “Congratulations, have a ball” in a not snarky or underhanded way. While I also see the douche being strong with this one, I think this particular statement is above board.
“Mother of my children” sounds possessive to some, but so would “MY EX-wife” to others. And “her” can be just as dismissive. Some would say just saying “Reese” is too business like…
Either way, he WAS her first husband/baby daddy, so what could he have said to make it seem any less passive aggressive, mean/bitter, trite, etc? And clearly both have moved on from each other (and not their co-parenting), so he wouldn’t win with someone on this.
What he said was fine. To the point. Reading anything further into this is from personal experience/taste.
teehee – LMAO. It is fun to pick at it, and yes, I think it was the “MY children” that bothered me, and that I couldn’t put my finger on. Perhaps he should have said “OUR children”.
I think that the way both Reese and Ryan have conducted their lives post-divorce has been with ultimate privacy, dignity and grace. There may have been some minor complaining, but no real animosity.
I love that they are a team for their children, supporting them unconditionally, no matter what is happening in their personal lives, and being together with them as much as possible. These two could teach a few of Hollywood’s divorced couples a thing or two about grace.
Ryan’s congratulations on Reese’s engagement is simple, to the point, and I see nothing hidden behind the words themselves.
nice commentary from him and OMG Reese W looks really better as brunette
I don’t find it respectful at all.
I see it as him saying – and only because he’s expected to say something pleasant ala Hollywood weird rules-
Congratulations to the mother of my children or in other words – you may be marrying her but I had her first and we had children and I will always be in her life so FU!!! … muhahahahaha
Then again, I tend to read into things. 🙂
@ Lisa!!! Well put girl!!! He’s a good guy!
@ guesty –
Hot cappucino moving through one’s sinuses is painful. I discovered this when reading your Affleck/Aflac reference.
Just thought I’d share.
I agree that he has a douche factor, but it is nice to see a couple able to put their crap aside and do what is right for the kids. Whatever may have happened between them, it is wonderful for the children to be raised without the animosity and revenge seeking behavior. Nice to see the grown ups acting as such.
come on, that’s strange….
in my ears I can hear: marry her….but still, Mom of my children… we’re always be linked together
*ring ring*
would I wanted to be named *mother of someone’s children*??? NEVER!
ex-wife, friend, co-parent….whatever….
he just could have put in her name….not *mother of my children*
THANKS FOR THE REMINDER RYAN. 😀
Ooooh Ryan Phillippe is sooooo pretty! I feel like I’m 10 again watching Cruel Intentions *sigh
Well, what the hell was he supposed to say? I think he did fine. Said the best thing he could.
I think you are nitpicking!! She is the mother of his children and he’s the father of her children. That’s the truth. What else was he suppose to say?
To me he will always be an awful person because of what he did to Reese but that’s not important since Ryan is not exactly an A-List actor and, therefore, not worthy of my dislike. He is dead to me!!
P.S.: What has happen to Ms. Abby Cornish’s career since she broke up the marriage of Princess Reese? Haven’t heard much from her in quite a while. What a terrible mistake she made by falling for such a lowlife!!
she looks gorgeous in that top pic. i’ve heard she’s a real tart though
*********
Reese? I’ve never heard anything of the sort and I’m often around film sets where the gossip flows like wine (not that I buy most of it anyway.)
@Courtney: Is every post a game of “Six Degrees of Paul Newman” to you?
“Mother of my children” is old fashioned, but very respectful. My ex has never addressed me that way nor has he treated me that way. Even when we were married, it was like I was some sort of surrogate or hired hand.
I think you are nit-picking Kaiser 🙂
That comment struck me as well but I think it depends on his tone…
i.e. it could be possessive, like he’s trying to assert his continued role in her life, or it could be more like “well of COURSE I wish her the best, she’s the mother of my children!”
They have always had a civil relationship after their divorce. Good for them because it is about the kids and 2 parents who hate each other and bad mouth each other do nothing but traumatize the kids.
@Liana: @Courtney: Is every post a game of “Six Degrees of Paul Newman” to you?
er yes 🙂 I have read others mention the same thing at other sites.
@REALIST, I agree, it was used and is more respectful, even if you don’t stay together it is a good thing to be respectful as possible about the children’s other parent who is their family.
He’s too stupid to be that cleverly passive-agressive.
I’m all for pointing out the douche element of dear Ryan (I was just SO IN LOVE with him in the early 2000s!), but I don’t think that there is anything here. We could find something wrong with virtually anything he or his agent wrote. I honestly think it’s a nice gesture. He was likely getting hounded left and right by media for his take on it, and he killed two birds with one stone by releasing a simple, supportive statement.
@someone else…LOL!
If he would have said “the mother of our children”, wouldn’t it sound like if he still has feelings for her or to remind people he is the father?
I’ve heard (mostly women) make that comment and they never mean it in a bad way. My boss refers to his ex-wife as the mother of his only two sons and he’s married now and all parties get along well
If he’s anything like John Mayer then he must have kept it on the DL because I can’t remember reading anything about other women except of course when they got divorced
Ryan is so gorgeous so I don’t really care about what he said, I forgot about it all as soon as I saw the pics. buuut, if I remember, it seemed that he was being respectful. He didn’t need to release that statement and I think it’s nice that he did.
Sure he wants the best for her. If his acting onscreen were half that good, he’d have her Oscar. Speaking of which, the timing of their breakup is one thing that makes him seem a tad douchey.
Oscars sure bring out the divorces and break ups when the other party fancies themself an entertainer too (Julia Roberts, Halle Berry, Kim Bassinger, Sandra Bullock, going way back Sally Field said Burt wouldn’t allow the t.v. on during her award show). Know there are more, can’t think of them all. If he wanted the best for her, that Oscar thing sure could have helped the marriage out.
“he is dead to me!!”
made me choke on my froot loops. what an odd odd thing to say.
no it isn’t those two happen to be my favorite set of married actors and in some ways Resse reminds me of Joanne when she was younger that’s all.
I agree it was off and not the best way to offer congratulations. True, former spouses refer to the father/mother of their children, but not in organized press releases. He was passively-aggressively announcing that she was his first. You may be the father of her children, Ryan, but Jim wins.
I’d be a lot more sympathetic to this guy if he didn’t always look so sullen and morose. But to give him credit, RW has always spoken of his being a good father to their children in various interviews over the years, so that counts for a lot.
I thought about the phrasing and decided that in this instance actions speak louder than words. Publicly he has acted with grace about the split and he clearly remains an involved parent. Based on that, I’d say this statement is in that same vein.
BTW, he gives me the douche vibe as well.
Doesn’t seem weird at all, it means more than anything else he could have called her. It very respectful, I thought.
I think the douche vibe comes from the way he seems to purse his lips while talking.
It’s great Ryan preempted any ridiculous tab story about raging jealously, etc., and to probably protect his kids from enduring any garbage related to that (or perhaps it wasn’t a calculated PR move and truly from the heart), he made a very respectful, thoughtful, classy statement. Imagine exes getting along. Wow. People could learn from these two.
Jennifer Simpleton could learn a thing or three from these two. This is how it’d done. Classy and with style. He’s not a douche. He just was always prettier than Reese, the future Jen Aniston.
“or it could be more like “well of COURSE I wish her the best, she’s the mother of my children!” ”
This is exactly how I read it.
Well… Moommy’s boyfriends will come and go. But your dad will always be with you. That’s what you can say about their children.
I’t hard for kids. Remember when she “dated” Jake and they were coming out every day. All four of them. And they were so cute. And everyone thought that Reese and Jake will marry. Imagine how is it for kids when suddenly mom brings home boyfriend for a year or two and they have to spend with him every day. And the like the guy. They love him… And then whoof – one second and he is gone and they never see him again.
And then again mommy brings home another guy and they have to love him and spend every day with him…. At least this one will get marry and stay for some time. And who knows – they could break up in few years.
i would have said i thought it was odd that he couldn’t have said “i’m happy for reese” but reading other comments maybe he really is just giving her an important title?
I am slightly bother by it too, but I don’t know why… maybe it’s because the impact of Reese in his life is “downgraded” to being the mother of his children “only”? I think saying “she is my ex-wife” acknowledges more the emotional past between them… the “mother of my kids” sounds more like equating a woman to her procreation results.
I admit I don’t like him – but not in the douchey sense, more in the “boring” sense 😉
Every divorced guy who I work with says, “the mother of my children”. It is a very common phrase.
his lips say one thing but his perma-doucheface tells me he never wishes the best for anyone, ever.
Agree with MeMyself and Ash. My ex is nothing to me any more but he will always be the father of my son.
Ryan doesn’t deserve to comment on this marriage. His opinions are rendered moot.