Katie Price (aka “glamour model” Jordan) really doesn’t seem to have any idea that she’s not part of the upper echelon of society. I can’t claim to be totally in the know about who’s who in the U.K., but I’m pretty sure that if each one of your fake breasts is bigger than your head, you’re not going to be considered A-list anywhere. It’s a worldwide thing.

Katie is absolutely livid that she wasn’t invited to attend the Cartier Polo International match last weekend. To be fair, it wasn’t the most elite event: 35,000 other people were invited. But in Cartier’s defense, if Jordan came they would have had to cut the guest list down to 33,000 to make enough room for her boobs.

Jordan wrote a very upset piece for the Times Online in which she complains about being told she was “not the sort of person” Cartier wanted at the event. Here’s a few excerpts:

…I’m a successful author and businesswoman, a rider, I am learning to play polo and I compete in dressage events. I rode my first horse when I was 7, and saved up to rent my first pony, Star, when I was 11. He was the ugliest, hairiest pony in the yard but I adored him. My mum couldn’t afford for me to go to Pony Club but it didn’t stop me going to gymkhanas. I just wanted to beat all those smart little girls in their perfect jodphurs and jackets.

All my life I’ve been surrounded by horses, I earned my pocket money sweeping out stables and I now have six horses. I’ve been invited to take part in the Royal Horse of the Year show, I’ve even played a charity polo match at Cowdray Park.

My book Perfect Ponies: My Pony Care Book was shortlisted for the WHSmith children’s prize and I have written a bestselling series of stories about ponies. I know more about fetlocks and forelocks than most of the celebrities invited by Cartier and the Chinawhite nightclub. I’ve certainly mucked out more horses.

It’s pure snobbery. However good a horsewoman I may be, I’m also a glamour model. That embarrassed the organisers. I paid Chinawhite £6,000 for my table, but my manager was told that I was not the sort of person they wanted. Eliza Doolittle went to the races with Henry Higgins after a few elocution lessons, In Pretty Woman Julia Roberts went to the polo straight from Sunset Boulevard, but in the 21st century we have become even more class-ridden. Unless you are a toff or an aspiring actress, they don’t want you.

Polo should be for people who love horses, not a media charade. It should be about the sport. Horses are a wonderful hobby, one that gets you outside and keeps you fit. They should be for everyone – little girls, glamour girls, working-class girls like me. No one should be excluded.

[From the Times Online]

When I started writing this article I was translating all the British slang and equine terms in [brackets] above. But there’s so much of it that I’m just going to summarize: Katie Price is pissed. And she knows some big horse words to back it up. It annoys the crap out of me, but she actually has a really good point, especially at the end. I understand that Cartier and Jordan mix together like oil and water. But Katie Price clearly loves horses and has talked about it for a long time – even aiming for the Olympic equestrian team.

I never thought I’d defend Jordan, but she does have a successful career she built from nothing; she worked hard even as a little girl to be around horses and she hasn’t outgrown that love. She paid a lot of money like everyone else, only to hear that her $12,000 wasn’t good enough. I hope Cartier doesn’t make the same mistake next year. Because I really don’t ever want to agree with Katie Price again.

Here’s Katie Price promoting her new bedding range at Matalan Milton Keynes, England on Wednesday. Photographer: Vince Maher; Images thanks to WENN.