Heidi & Spencer want to adopt; compare themselves to Brangelina

Heidi Montag. Ew. Spencer Pratt. Double ew. I really don’t even need to write the rest of this story. I can pretty much just mix up the following words in a semi-coherent jumble and it’ll apply to absolutely anything Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt ever do: horses, over-exposed, fashion, beaches, John McCain, photo op, reality television, cheesy grin, narcissism, pimping, self-centered, sex tape, entitlement, video, chiclet teeth, handbags, undeserved, flowing hair, guns, designer, money, attention whores, feuds, faux, gross, bad music. That’s really all you need to write about Heidi and Spencer.

And today in empty Speidi news, the pair say they want to adopt, a la Brangelina. And they’re a little frustrated that John McCain isn’t thinking about them as much as they’d like, but everything considered they’re being pretty gracious about the snub.

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag may have called off their engagement, but the reality-star lovebirds are still talking babies. They’re looking to Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt for inspiration. “I think I’d rather adopt than have kids,” Pratt said when I caught up with the two this morning. “There are so many kids that need homes.” A few minutes later, Pratt, 25, clarified that he doesn’t just want to adopt. “I wanna do both,” he explained. “We’ll pull an Angelina and Brad and have a whole clan.”

Montag, 21, cooed, “We’d be so lucky to have a clan like that.” And yes, that clan could include a child from Africa… “I used to want to be a missionary [in Africa],” Montag says. “That’s something I’ve always really wanted to do. Go to the U.N. for World Hunger and really, you know, not just go there for a safari, but go there to actually help.”

Although they’re not attending the Republican National Convention next month, they’re still hoping to do some campaigning for John McCain before Election Day. And speaking of McCain, whatever happened to their much-publicized plan—with the help of the presidential hopeful’s team—to visit the troops in Iraq?

“I don’t know what’s going on,” Pratt says. “I think they’re so focused on the campaign, they kinda lost the momentum.”

[From E! News]

F’ing John McCain losing his momentum. What a jerk. Focusing on trying to become the next president of the United States instead of helping some Q-list reality “stars” (and I use that word as loosely as possible) fly to Iraq on the taxpayer’s dime wearing specially made (and adorably matching) faux-combat suits. Okay I realize they didn’t say that. But it was implied.

Heidi also talked to E! about her new single “Overdosing” and how it’s just about being in love with Spencer and overdosing on all the happiness. And then little bubblegum hearts floated out of Montag’s mouth when she hiccuped on all the love flowing through her. Seriously I can’t take any more of this nauseating crap. But I will let you listen to the song. Because music shouldn’t be punished.

Here’s Heidi and Spencer leaving STK restaurant after having dinner with their families on August 9th. Images thanks to WENN.

Note by Celebitchy: If all this wasn’t enough from these two, and I reached the saturation point for them months ago, they’re planning to get married on live TV.

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51 Responses to “Heidi & Spencer want to adopt; compare themselves to Brangelina”

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  1. Syko says:

    They both make me want to puke. Especially him.

  2. SolitaryAngel says:


  3. geronimo says:

    Remember that great scene in Fargo where Peter Stormare is feeding Steve Buscemi’s leg into the woodchipper? That’s what I’d like to see happen to these two.

  4. SeVen says:

    If they’re brangie then I’m fecking Madonna

    Like a virgin – HEY!

    Twit and Twat

  5. Megan says:

    Actually, it’s not what these two do that annoys me the most, it’s SPENCER’S FACE.

  6. Nan says:

    It’s bad enough that we have a friend who is a horseface who is so into herself & so important while we sneakily snark behind her back…there’s always a delusional horseface in any company you work for-but now we have to look at it in a celebrity blog. Ugh!

  7. daisy424 says:

    Malibu Barbie & Beavis need to disappear, I agree with Geronimo ala the wood chipper.

    Having those two morons stumping for the McCain is as bad as Roseanne backing Obama. The candidates need to distance themselves from these dumbasses.

    Yes you two, go to Africa. Maybe poachers witll mistake them for gorillas and we will never hear about them again.

    Good morning everyone 😉

  8. Nouvel says:

    GROSS!!!!!!! They are so disgusting. I mean they have to be the most annoying and wierd couple EVER.. GO AWAY !!

  9. Tammy says:

    Can I just make a personal plea to never ever report or gossip about these two again so that they will stop selling photos and just go away. PLEASE??? They make me want to puke like no one I have ever seen. They aren’t even famous, I really don’t get it. Even Paris Hilton makes more sense than these two. And it is so sad that I had to just say that.

  10. Anna says:

    First thought when I saw the headline:


    I wonder what they see when they look in the mirror.

    Love the quote about her wanting to be a missionary. It made me laugh but only proves my first thought:


  11. Syko says:

    Megan, I am with you 100%! She is, at least, nice looking. There’s something really repellant about him. If everyone in the world except he and I died, and the two of us were alone on a desert island, I’d have to drown him. If I could figure a way to do it without actually touching him.

  12. reasonstobecheerfulpart2 says:

    Trying out the gravatar thingy.

    It works 🙂

  13. Cassie says:

    I agree with Anna: delusional.

    While any humanitarian work is admirable, I have a feeling they won’t go through with it. I’m sure their income is only enough to keep designer clothes on Heidi’s horseish back. I doubt she’s willing to sacrifice any of it for starving children.

  14. daisy424 says:

    Reasontobe; Try a bigger photo. Is the icon flowers? 🙂

    Syko; Include me on that island, I’ll kill him for you.

  15. Jacqueline says:

    obviously have NO IDEA at all how incredibly hard Brad & Angelina work!!! both with their children and their humanitarian projects.
    This is just another “soundbite” to get media attention.

  16. Jess Doherty says:

    I think their comments were misconstrued. They probably meant they wanted to start a KLAN.

  17. Kaiser says:


    Seriously? These douchebags are the poster children for the out-of-touch Republican Party.

    @Geronimo – The woodchipper is a good idea, but saline will go all over the place when you get to Heidi’s obscene implants.

  18. Syko says:

    Kaiser, I think it would be worth ruining a good woodchipper with saline, just to see those two chopped into hamburger. Go for it, Geronimo!

  19. Kaiser says:

    @Syko & Geronimo – maybe the woodchipper is too nice. Perhaps something out of “A Clockwork Orange”?

  20. Codzilla says:

    Wood chipper would be fine as long as they’re tossed in feet first.

  21. poopie says:

    it COULD be worse : they could both be $cientologists

  22. czarina says:

    geronimo; OK, the wood-chipper was inspired! Not only did you put the wood chipper-thing in my head…I then pictured those two arranging a whole photo-op around the wood chipper; wearing a tux and designer gown…smiling as the eased towards the wood-chipper…perhaps a small musical number…waving…
    Whenever anyone accuses ANY other celeb of being fake, these two have to be the standard that fake is judged by. I have never seen a sincere moment from either of these people. Talking about adopting as if it were the same as getting the latest handbag is pathetic!
    The only thing that saves me from absolute fury and disgust is the assurance that, however much they talk longingly of having a “clan”–these two are essentially too selfish and self-absorbed to even consider having a child in their midst.

  23. geronimo says:

    Ok. How’s about feet first and the woodchipper mechanism set to really, really slow. I’d put up with a saline-splattered face to see that. 😈

  24. cc says:

    Syko, too funny. Yeah, I am on the Speidi hate wagon…and I like my spot here.

  25. I choose me says:

    Going BRANDgelina is the new black! Brad and Angie should start charging everytime someone drops their name to get attention.

  26. Codzilla says:

    Geronimo: It’s a date.

  27. Syko says:

    No kidding, I choose me, first you have Roseanne with all her criticism, and now Speidi wanting to emulate them. Brad and Angie should license themselves! Sell franchises!

  28. Kaiser says:

    @Geronimo – It’s a deal.

  29. mamalama says:

    Compare themselves to Brangelina?! As if. There’s plenty of vapidity (is that a word?) in Hollywood, but these two really take the cake. Raise kids? They can barely take care of themselves, for God’s sake.

  30. alex says:

    Having only seen them on pics (The Hills don’t come in the UK and I have no enthusiasm to check the show on youtube), I doubt that they are actually together.
    Look at the way they kiss…never really touching each other.
    But as I said, I judge by pictures.

    Them two are as mock as Missy’s boobs and nose 😉

  31. javagirl1 says:

    “undeserved, flowing hair” LOL

  32. vdantev says:

    Because that’s what flaky, over-privileged children with too much money and no common sense need to do is to fucking raise a child. 👿

  33. princess says:

    Do they allow the “mentally challenged” to adopt?

  34. kate says:

    i think you have to have an IQ of at least 90 to adopt. i’m sure their combined 1Qs barely top 100, so orphans everywhere can breath a sigh of relief at not being subjected to being raised by these two dolts.

  35. reasonstobecheerfulpart2 says:

    @Daisy424 – thx, I think I finally figured out what to do.
    Yep, the pic were supposed to be flowers, but I like the new one better 🙂

    Edit: Did NOT figure out what to do, will continue to work on it 😉

    Before anybody asks, yes, I am blond…

  36. reasonstobecheerfulpart2 says:

    Last test – I hope Speidi will forgive me 😛

    CB/Jaybird: Could you just delete my tests? Would be very much appreciated.

  37. Bodhi says:

    I’m ALL ABOUT the woodchipper! Dooo it! 😆

  38. daisy424 says:

    Hey Bodhi, when is the wedding?

  39. Orangejulius says:

    No, music should not be punished – but, this is not music.

  40. Syko says:

    Hey, reasonstobe – it’s not just you, it’s the Gravatar thing. For some reason it takes a day or so for your new pic to show up after you change it. Even if you clear the cache, it seems like for a day or so it goes back and forth between the new and old. I found this when I wanted to change from the six-month-old Simon to the year-old Simon. The year-old one seems to be staying now, though.

  41. chonee says:

    WOW WOW Weee WOW…some people need to get their heads out of their asses once and awhile. Spencer and Heidi and the rest of the Hills Asses is what’s wrong with America’s youth…if this is all they have to look forward to then America…you are in BIG BIG HUGE MASSIVE trouble…

  42. Maritza says:

    These two are so shallow and conceited! How on earth can they possibly think about adopting!

  43. Shelby says:

    This is the worst news, To even compare themselves to brad and angie mind boggles me. They could never compete with them they ae actual celebrities.
    GOD HELP US ALL IF THEY ADOPT A KID. Spencer would be a horrible father. an Heidi would push plastic surgery and her horrible music on the poor kid

  44. hello says:

    @ Geronimo

    Even, better the RNC is in St. Paul. If they go back on their word (which I’m sure they will), the wood chipper moment can even be accurate…we just have to wait for snow. No snow in Minnesota in September. Usually. I’ll provide the ride up North!

  45. Carrie says:

    Anna, Cassie – I hope you laughed as hard as I did at Montag’s claim that she wants to go to Africa “not for a safari, but to help.” By “helping” I assume she means milking photo opportunities in some sort of cute safari wear.

    She’d last as long as it took for the first fingernail to break.

  46. Chamalla says:

    I love you guys.

    Woodchipper? Malibu Barbie and Malibu Beavis?

    Classic. I’m gonna be laughing until quitting time.

  47. dumdee says:

    heidi and spencer are so disgusting. well, their level of disgust is just on par with brangelina. ok ok, brangelina is a little better. maybe 1%?

  48. dorit hershtig says:

    if you keep posting about these two nut-jobs, i will stop checking out your website.

    im sick of them.

  49. Shay says:

    All I can say is…


  50. Mairead says:

    *ignores the vapid twits in the photo* *tickles one-year old Simon under the chin* ooooooh I love pudgy kittehs! :mrgreen:

  51. Trillion says:

    I was born and raised in Malibu. I hate that these two wastes of space have contributed to my hometown’s association with superficiality. But I gotta laugh at Malibu Barbie/Beavis.