The Real Housewives of Miami are coming – much too soon or bring ‘em on?

Bravo knows a good formula when they see one, and A new Real Housewives series is coming from Miami on February 22. Until the women from Beverly Hills hit the scene last year I never paid much attention to these Real Housewives shows. I honestly don’t know if I can take another set of ladies with their own infighting, drama and overspending at this point. I’m still recovering from the BH bitches and I doubt that I’ll watch this, as interesting as it seems. These shows are like eating really delicious cheesecake. Too much and you feel sick and bloated and never want to see another cheesecake again. Here’s a description from People of the castmembers:

Sunny news, Real Housewives fans: Make way for the Real Housewives of Miami – and soon.

Six ladies join the cast of the just-announced show, which will premiere Feb. 22 (10 p.m. ET), and they promise to supply plenty of heat this chilly winter. Though Bravo had initially announced that the Real Housewives of New York City would be premiering its fourth season in mid-February, the show is now expected to debut in the spring.

Who are these ladies that will be causing all the drama? Meet the cast of the Real Housewives of Miami:

Lea Black has a 9-year-old son with her lawyer husband. A strong supporter of President Obama, the Texas-born Housewife is invested in her own charitable endeavors.

Larsa Pippen is married to basketball star Scottie Pippen and was known as the “Hottest NBA wife.” A mother of four, Pippen boasts that she’s successful at everything she does.

Marysol Patton is a Miami native who runs her own PR firm, the Patton Group. A divorcee, Patton is known for throwing bashes around town and loves to spend time with her mother, Elsa, who considers herself a “seer” and offers spiritual guidance to people in town.

Alexia Echevarria is the executive editor of Venue magazine, where she covers fashion and celebrity culture. She lives on Miami Beach with her husband Herman and has two sons from a previous marriage.

Cristy Rice was recently divorced from NBA star Glen Rice. The show will follow her single life as she juggles business (she owns a clothing store) and being a single mom.

Adriana DeMoura-Sidi is fiery and flirtatious and … newly engaged. Her personality lands her in trouble and the subject of much gossip among the ladies.

[From People]

It’s just too draining to cover all the details in the stupid fights these women have. It’s the latest in the evolution of reality shows – get a bunch of superficial, materialistic, petty narcissistic twits together, have them argue and ensure that the arguments are constantly revisited, either by asking other castmembers to bring up past grievances or just getting them as drunk as possible and pitting them against each other. In ancient Rome entertainment involved watching prisoners fight to the death. Now we get to see Botoxed social climbers try to wound each other’s egos, sometimes resorting to physical violence when they frustrated. At least the women are still alive to shop another day at the end, even if their careers in the media are as short lived as the time it would take for a gladiator to kill his opponent.

That said, I love this crazy old broad with the super high eyebrows who croons “I’m a witch”:






Here are the Miami Real Housewives learning to make avocado salad. (Only plays for US visitors)

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58 Responses to “The Real Housewives of Miami are coming – much too soon or bring ‘em on?”

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  1. TeeTee says:

    no thanks to this fuckery.

  2. bunkins says:

    Ugh these shows should be called “the loudest, most obnoxious and annoying douchebag wives of wherever”. I refuse to watch but have seen numerous clips on the web. These people suck.

  3. Kimble says:

    They need a chef to teach them how to make an avocado salad? Clearly the only criteria for this show is an IQ in double digits!

    Of course I’ll be watching …

  4. mimi says:

    Did one of the Housewives in the picture above have a sex change? She’s looking rather masculine if not..

    Anyway, I’m tired of all the Real Housewives shows…Atl, DC, NY, BH,OC,NJ and now Miami?!! WTF!

  5. brin says:

    That woman with the crazy eyebrows is what Lindsay Lohan will look like in a few months.

  6. devilgirl says:

    The more, the merrier. : )

  7. Eve says:

    First two pictures…That’s Mumm-Ra, right?

  8. annaloo. says:

    What in God’s green earth was that thing in the header pic? ??! That thing looked like something from The Dark Crystal …

  9. ThirdChris says:

    Jesus. I was eating my breakfast when that header pic popped up. WTH happened to her face?

    That’s it. I am never touching my face. Evah.

  10. Maud says:

    Oh dear god in heaven. When will someone do a Real Housewives of Skokie? I would watch that!

  11. Jezi says:

    @annaloo OMG the Dark Crystal…that brings back memories.

    Yes, what is wrong with that woman’s face? I don’t understand why women do this to themselves? Do they think they look better?

  12. Alex says:

    If “I’m a Witch” is going to be a regular character, then hells yeah I’m watching!

  13. Arianna says:

    @ TeeTee

    pretty much

  14. Rose says:

    ‘It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again” Yesh, no thank you.

  15. Brittney says:

    “In ancient Rome entertainment involved watching prisoners fight to the death. Now we get to see Botoxed social climbers try to wound each other’s egos…”

    What astute insight into the cultural ubiquity of venomous reality shows like these. Bravo.

  16. mia girl says:

    I’m from Miami and can tell you these women are scandal plagued… famewhores and wannabes.

    If you are going to watch, then here is a drinking game for you. Drink every time one of the Miami HWs says the word “like”. That is Miami speak… as in “I was talking to her and she was LIKE “hey you better stop messing around with the Zumba teacher” and I was LIKE “whatever, I can’t help it if I’m super hot”. It really hurt my feelings, LIKE I felt she was too harsh”

  17. hey hey now!
    I happen to personally know Cristy and she is actually a very nice person. Even if you haven’t seen her in years, she will always ask you about your life, family, etc. She loves dancing salsa. I hope this shows portrays her well. It takes a lot to get Cristina Rice to dislike someone.

  18. Roma says:

    Scottie Pippen is broke. I wonder if they’re even going to mention that or make it seem like he’s still living like a baller?

  19. Jaana says:

    I bet one of those wives is wishing she never fucked with her face to start with. wtf did she come on camera?

  20. girlygirl says:

    The person in that header pic looks like Pete Burns!

  21. YAY says:

    ..I thought that was Pete Burns! Can’t wait for this show to start!

  22. carm says:

    @mia girl
    That is Miami speak… as in “I was talking to her and she was LIKE “hey you better stop messing around with the Zumba teacher” and I was LIKE “whatever, I can’t help it if I’m super hot”. It really hurt my feelings, LIKE I felt she was too harsh”

    Ah, so you have heard that story too my fellow Miamian? This town is so like, small.

  23. Yadira says:

    From that pic of that thing in red and pearls, I thought that was STEVEN TYLER! Geez, dude really looks like a lady, or the other way around

  24. RHONYC says:

    that lady (?) from the 2nd pic looks like james earl jones’ character ‘Thulsa Doom (the snake king) from Conan the Barbarian’!


  25. Heaven Bound says:

    @ girlygirly

    I think that’s Pete Burn’s mom, who new that the Brit was half latino.

  26. I Choose Me says:

    Jesus Kaiser. You gotta put a warning on header pics like that or something. I usually don’t comment on people’s unfortunate looks. You can’t help the features you were born with (without plastic surgery) but I’m pretty sure that lady ain’t human so I feel justified in saying WTF?!

    Edit @annaloo. OMG! I love that movie. She totally looks like a Skeksie. They creeped me the eff out when I first saw that movie. Esp., the one that would go hmmm, in this nasally, high-pitched voice.

  27. The Bobster says:

    I think we just found a couple of the beheaded Egyptian mummies.

  28. Franny says:

    don’t most people in all the cities in this country say “like”. the sentences you wrote sound pretty typical to me…

  29. the original bellaluna says:

    How about a RH of, oh, I don’t know, Buttcrack, Idaho; or BFE, Minnesota, or some other little podunk place? I’d sooner watch that than any of these vain, nasty, absolutely gross RH shows.

    EDIT: No offence to anyone residing in little podunk places. :D

  30. cici says:

    #15 with the buffal bill quote : LMAOOOO

    and scottie pippen is broke?? seriously??

  31. LT says:

    Uhg, I HATE Miami. Worst architecture and coloring ever…I guess you could say the same of the Housewives!

    That said, I’m still going to watch. RHO is like crack for me.

  32. LT says:

    @Franny – agreed, I think “like” is national. Especially amongst teenage girls!

  33. guesty says:

    How scary is that face! Gah.

  34. Chrissy says:

    I can’t wait!!! I say the more the merrier! If any show is getting tired to me, it’s New York … I don’t really see why they are following them around anymore.

  35. Isabel says:


    Seriously, what’s up with the zombie?

  36. Isabel says:

    OMG, I didn’t see the balding bleach blonde…this is too good. It’s like Golden Girls meets Night of the Living Dead.

  37. MPovich says:

    so, what, are there no African Americans in Miami?

  38. LT says:

    @Isabel – LOL! Too funny! (And true!)

  39. Bailey says:

    Her face has been pulled within an inch of its life. Anymore pulling, she’ll have a beard.

  40. original kate says:

    i so don’t want to see these plastic surgery disasters preparing food.

  41. FatJennyEatsCow says:

    This is just too much already. Bravo needs to know when to stop. It’s time to stop. Like seriously.

  42. Roma says:

    @cici: I follow gossip and sports. Pippen blew through $120 million, it’s pretty insane. I think he’s bounced back a little but right away I wondered if Larsa was doing it for the coin.

  43. gulfstreamgal says:

    Are they serious???? Fat Jenny is right. They are wearing the welcome mat thin. They are worse than in laws. Bravo PLEASE STOP!! There is nothing ‘real’ about any of them! Only a privelged few live like that and 4 out the whole franchise of these injected cretins have any money at all. THEY ARE STONE ASS BROKE!

  44. cherryberry says:

    @annaloo- Skesie from dark crystal is EXACTLY what I thought when I saw that pic. In fact that is the only reason I clicked on this story. @CB- I really don’t care how much cheesecake i eat, I will always want more. I appreciate the analogy but damn, CHEESECAKE IS SOOOO GOOD!

  45. Natalie says:

    these are not “real housewives” they are gold digging biatches that need to disappear!

  46. icantbelievethis says:

    STOP! I am sitting here reading the comments crying from laughing so hard.

    ‘OMG, I didn’t see the balding bleach blonde…this is too good. It’s like Golden Girls meets Night of the Living Dead.’

    killing me over here with this.

    I think I’ll pass on this one. There is only so much RH of anything you can handle, but the comments should be great.

  47. Kim says:

    I think they are going to burn people out with to many versions of this show. They should stop at the cities they have. They could get rid of Atlanta, Washington & Jersey as far as Im concerned. Whats next Real Housewives of Fargo? Not bagging on Fargo just making a point =)

  48. Kim says:

    They need to get real with the title of the show which should be “The real Ugly housewives with hideous plastic surgery of Miami”

  49. LuckyLilGem says:

    Miami women are so spicy! I can’t wait to see what happens on this show.

  50. My2Cents says:

    There are some scary faces in that lot. I’ll be watching.

  51. Chris says:

    I thought the woman in the header pic looked like the guy from TV’s Beauty and the Beast.

  52. Delusional says:

    Tales from the Crypt..
    After the 80′s, entertainers
    started to get uglier and
    more hideous by the day.
    Soon, it will be ran by
    TROLLS! Very soon..

  53. Cherry says:

    This is possibly the worst looking bunch…I’ll be watching.

  54. Lyla says:

    Before I clicked on this story, I just saw the picture of the woman at the top and I was like “Cool they’re allowing trannies on this show now!”

  55. thegorilla says:

    oh dear god that pic is frightening

  56. Sassygirl says:

    Seriously!another one! Same drama different city..more plastic surgery!gossip! Faking that they are friends..script bs. Tired of the RHO..

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