Guy who scopes out David Beckham at urinal says he’s well endowed

Do you know that Armani underwear ad in which David Beckham is laying on his back, legs spread in a V, just inviting us to… buy the briefs for our husbands? Of course you do, that image is pretty much iconic now. There was a lot of speculation that the bulge in Beckham’s tighty whiteys was digitally enhanced, but his wife Victoria swore that he’s as blessed down below as he is everywhere else. She crudely mentioned that his manhood is “like a tractor exhaust pipe” and said that she still has a “really good sex life” with her husband of nine years.

Now we have confirmation from another guy who scoped out the Goldenballs. A DJ from Australia claims to have been doing his business at a urinal next to Beckham and to have checked him out. He says the advertisements are legit and Beckham is as much a man as his wife claims:

Australian DJ KYLE SANDILANDS told listeners to his show: “I was in the toilet at Villa nightclub in LA and there’s only two urinals in there, it’s very small.

“Somebody comes in behind me, and I hear a soft voice say ‘Hello, how are you?’ I turned around and think: ‘Holy s***! It’s David Beckham!’

“I’m midway through and I think, I’ve got to slow this down. I couldn’t help myself, for the first time in my life, I glanced down to the left and had a look.”

Asked whether Becks was a big boy, Kyle replied: “There’s two types of penis.

“There’s the one that’s the same size all the time and the other one changes in size.

“Let’s just say he looks like he’s got it going on whether it’s happy or not.”

[From The Sun]

DJs talk a lot of crap, so who knows if this is true. I wonder what the backstory is and if the guy explained how he ended up peeing next to Beckham. Either way, I believe it.

Sales of Armani underwear increased significantly after Beckham’s ad campaign, with British department store Selfridges reporting a 50% increase in sales of white Armani briefs. You can only buy the skivvies, though, the body is damn near unattainable for most of us.

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36 Responses to “Guy who scopes out David Beckham at urinal says he’s well endowed”

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  1. lady garden says:

    am i the only woman in the world who would rather have the tractor exhaust? Methinks it would sound manlier

  2. heehee says:

    Well I dont want the exaust pipe but I certainly dont want Beckham!!
    Not. My. Taste.

  3. Syko says:

    It’s been my experience that tractor exhaust pipes can be slightly uncomfortable and I would much prefer, say, a nice kielbasa.

    He’s gorgeous, though.

  4. Megan says:

    It just looks like he’s got enormous balls in these pics, and a tiny willy.

  5. Kaiser says:

    “a nice kielbasa” :lol:

    Yeah, I bet he’s got it going on in the peen and the Goldenballs Dept.

  6. adam says:

    I’m surprised the writer didn’t somehow sneak a jab at Sarah Palin into this article….wouldn’t be the first time. :roll:

  7. Syko says:

    Oh for god’s sake. If this turns into a political fight, you started it, adam.

  8. geronimo says:

    I bet Sarah Palin wishes her husband was sporting a set like these.

  9. Kaiser says:

    Actually, Syko, the Nat’l Enquirer is reporting that Sarah Palin *and* Bristol Palin have seen David Beckham’s package. Both are quoted as saying, “It’s bigger than a moose’s!” :roll:

  10. vdantev says:

    he stuffs.

  11. breederina says:

    Never doubted Becks blessings for a minute. Having done a fair amount of anthropological field research in this area myself I have to go with length over girth.
    Of course mind blowing technique is always a deal breaker.

  12. Syko says:

    Kaiser, just wait til those nasty liberals get hold of that! Moosegate will forever tarnish the history of the 2008 presidential elections!

    Breederina, if I had to pick I’d go with girth first, but truly just a healthy average is just fine, I feel no need to be pulverized or have my cervix pushed into my lungs. With you on the mind (or whatever) blowing technique, though!

  13. Linda says:

    For the life of me, I do not get what people see in David Beckham!!! YUK!!!

    And the comparison to a tractor exhaust pipe – PLEASE – like Victoria would know what a tractor exhaust pipe looks like.

    These are 2 people that could fall off the face of the earth and not be missed.

  14. breederina says:

    Syko : :lol:

  15. daisy424 says:

    If he is a tractor pipe, what does that make her? 8O

  16. Kaiser says:

    Moosegate 2008… :lol: That rolls off the tongue. Like BeckhamBalls.

  17. Chamalla says:


    omg, y’all made my day.

    Do you think Becks would stand in the middle of my office for a day? We wouldn’t touch him or anything… unless he asked us nicely, of course.

    He’s so pretty. *giggles like 12 year old*

  18. Tracy says:

    Well I think he is gorgeous. All that matters to me is, “Can he USE IT” what good is being so sweetly endowed with no idea how to use it?? :roll:

  19. ema says:

    he is in croatia with england football team and he is damn hot in suit…..

  20. Codzilla says:

    Far too metro for me. And that girly Mike Tyson voice doesn’t help, either.

  21. daisy424 says:

    codzilla :-)
    I love the icon, at first glance, I thought it was a horse laughing. 8)

  22. Jeanne says:

    Of course he is, he’s bloody perfect!

  23. vdantev says:

    Not the size of the hammer that matters, it’s if the carpenter who knows how to use it.

  24. Mr. Obvious says:

    Everyone assumes the penis rumors are fact and that is fine, but no one here decides to question the fact that this DJ is supposedly peeing and David Beckham out of nowhere says hello and asks how the fella is doing?! Okay, if that wasn’t a request for manual relief I don’t know what is.

  25. me says:

    Thats just what we say to humour you guys Vdantev.

  26. DLR says:

    well, i’ve seen those pictures, and i’ve seen pictures of guys in the process of taking off their pants. guys with the same sort of, ahem, bulge as David are huge in both girth and length. By huge I mean at least 8 inches long and 6 inches around (think pop can). Look at the second picture, he has low-hanging balls and the tip of his penis is right at the bottom. So yeah, he’s a big laddie. :P

  27. Diva says:

    Daisy – I second your comment!!!! What DOES that say about Victoria??? lol

    I’ve never been able to understand why women say size matters… unless you have some cavernous chasm to fill, I would think average would be more than adequate!

    But Beckham is still pretty! And I’d still like to SEE!!!!

  28. frankie says:

    A few weeks ago, I read in a paper he was seen buying a dildo… Vic can’t be pleased with his natural features… Why would a well endowed guy need one of those. Can you imagine your boyfriend showing up with one… For me it would be …. dump time…

  29. enchantress says:

    If anybody out there has a link to any full frontal pictures of Mr. Tractor Pipe, please post a link for us…for research purposes only, of course 8)

  30. Syko says:

    Google it, Enchantress. There is one out there that’s supposedly him. Some site like “OMG (something)”.

  31. Codzilla says:

    Thanks Daisy! It took me forever to get it to work, which is admittedly pathetic. I keep meaning to ask you about your icon — one of your grandkids? What a darling little baby.

  32. vdantev says:

    Thats just what we say to humour you guys Vdantev.

    Spoken like a virgin. I can make you sweat in places you never knew existed.

  33. Trish says:

    Kyle Sandilands is a DICK!!!!

    Everyone in Australia hates him… what a tool – I cant believe the let that Z-List radio DJ in!!!!!

  34. daisy424 says:

    Codzilla, I know, it took me forever also. :-) Couldn’t get it centered right.
    That icon was me as a child, thanks. I like to change it around…back to Liz Montgomery for now.

  35. abby says:

    By what standard are you calling him “well endowed”? Are we talking 9 ins or more? but then again I don’t like the voice or look of the man so it doesn’t really matter.

  36. Phat girl says:

    Uh, Frankie, The use of sex toys, including dildo’s, between couples is awesome. The fact that he was the one doing the procureing makes it that much more exciting. What girl wouldn’t want the extra pleasure without the hassel of two men. I mean last I checked video games with two joysticks are more fun to play! And the fact that he was secure enough to buy one shows that he is well endowed enough not to worry about being compared to it, so yeah, I believe the bulge.