Olivier Martinez isn’t leaving Halle Berry anytime soon


An Open Letter to Olivier Martinez:

Look, dude. I get it. Halle Berry is hot. She’s beautiful and sexy and her body kicks ass. She’s also crazy. We know this. And I know guys always say crazy chicks are amazing in bed, but at some point, don’t you hit the wall, sexually?

Now, I know you’re not the brightest bulb. But I gave you credit for being smart enough to get out. Some tabloids even had you seriously reconsidering this whole relationship in the wake of this messy, tacky, and tragic custody battle with Gabriel Aubry. I hoped you are already on your way back to France. But no – here you are out with Halle last night. She took you to some pre-Oscar event, and she smiled smugly while you drove her away.

While you may know much more than I will ever know about crazy chicks and how they’re good in bed, here’s something I know: you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat their exes. You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat the father or mother of their children. And you can always go back to the cardinal rule of everything: if someone is trying this hard to convince you of something, you know the opposite is true.

Maybe you’re just sticking around through the awards season. God knows, you could probably use a leg up with some casting directors and producers, and Halle provides an entrance into that part of Hollywood that you weren’t getting before. Are you just screwing her for your career? Are you just holding on so it doesn’t look so obvious that you’re dumping her for being crazy? Are you just holding off because you know The Wrath of Halle will descend and suddenly you’ll find yourself, post-split, being called a racist and an abusive a–hole? Or are you in love? Ugh. I’m so disappointed in you.



Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

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49 Responses to “Olivier Martinez isn’t leaving Halle Berry anytime soon”

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  1. ThatBoyLuke says:

    He probably already tried and she cobbled him, Misery anyone?

    halle is one crazy bitch.

  2. emine says:

    i want to be a fly on the wall of these ppl’s bedroom

  3. TeeTee says:

    hmm, he nds to stay at least until he can get a good movie, *shrugs*

    I used to LOVE him!! but now, he looks like he has been washed in he washing machine one–too many times or something.

    he nds a haircut and some sun..

  4. Rita says:

    If crazy chicks equate to great sex, then Lohan, Rimes, and Berry could form their own flying vadge circus.

  5. brin says:

    Definitely not love for either of them. This just works for both of them now.

  6. Mshuffleupagus says:

    He’s French. Dating crazy bitches is all he knows.

  7. Quest says:

    I patiently await the drama that will unfold. Halle is like a mantis religiosa:

    Sexual cannibalism, in which it is necessary that the head be removed for the mating to be effective. So sorry for Oilvier

  8. Cha Cha Loca says:

    LOL @ Mshufflepagus. Too true girlfriend!

  9. DGO says:

    I don’t think they’re really sleeping together. PR PR PR

  10. DGO says:

    February 24th, 2011 at 2:02 pm If crazy chicks equate to great sex, then Lohan, Rimes, and Berry could form their own flying vadge circus.


    Rita, you owe me a new keyboard for that one! I just spewed Coke everywhere! LOL

  11. Your mama says:

    Applause to Rita! 😀

  12. Whatever says:

    I actually know someone who told his girlfriend to knock off the drama with the ex or he was out. She chilled for a while, but then it started again and he left. Maybe Olivier gave her a similar talk and that’s the real reason she’s making nice with Gabriel. Of course, it can’t be long before she brings the crazy again. Some guys need to find out the hard way! Just like women.

  13. serena says:

    Oh leave him alone. If he wants to date Halle then it’s his choice and eventually he’s happy with it.

  14. Johnny Depp's Girl says:

    Look its a bird, its a plane NOOO ITS FLYING VADGES AND THEY’RE EVERYWHERE!!!

    Look out for flying vadges..

    Run Olivier, Run!!

  15. lmao says:

    he doesn’t look good anymore. he was so hot back a few years ago

  16. Rita says:


    You’re aggrevating the hernia I just got from Kaiser’s finger banging…..holy crap, that didn’t sound right.

  17. seVen says:

    Dear CB and Kaiser, please Give Rita a place among your holy writers circle. Shes fuckin hilarious.

    Love, SeVen.

  18. Your mama says:

    Kaiser, I just read online that he’s dated Angelina Jolie & Michelle Rodriguez … Is that true and if it is – THAT Explains Everything! He likes ’em Crazy Crazy as opposed to slightly crazy. 😉

  19. Rita says:


    Bless you but I feel compelled to explain my last comment concerning Kaiser’s “finger banging”. It was in referrence to the Lutz thread where according to Kaiser he is pleasuring his hound (no his real hound ie, dog). I laughed so hard I got a hernia and it was to that I made referrence.

    Sorry if anyone was shocked, dismayed, or simply grossed out by my lack of clarification. Not there would be anything wrong with that sort of attention from Kaiser, but I’m not into that sort of thing, yet.

  20. seVen says:

    @Rita – The majority of your posts on any given subject are enough to make pepsi spew from my nostrils. there is no need to explain greatness!

  21. Maritza says:

    He was so handsome in “Unfaithful”, whatever happened to him? He has aged a lot since, these 9 yrs and all his smoking has taken its toll.

  22. dread pirate cuervo says:

    This dude is super fug. She has to be dating him to piss off pretty boy Gabriel. There is no other explanation. Unless Halle is going blind. He is hideous.

  23. mln76 says:

    He’s going to stick with her until at least the promotion of the film then worm his way out her life very slowly.

  24. Marjalane says:

    Euopean stereotypes notwithstanding, this guy looks like he smells; Like he has that “bathing is for the bourgeois” kind of stink. I bet Gabriel Aubrey never stank.

  25. Steph says:

    her p*ssy MUST be CRYPTONITE, cuz bish is craaaazy

  26. mmk says:

    Don’t like her anymore and always thought she was overrated. She’s cute, but I don’t get all the press fawning for years. She’s even a okay actress, not stellar.

    Oliver needs to get the f out there. Halle is just a selfish, selfconsumed, crazyazz woman when it comes to relationships.

  27. lilred says:

    Hurry, Hurry step right up and get your tickets here. It’s the flying vadge circus featuring all your favorite kinds of crazy.

    *Owners not responsible for any PTSD you may suffer.*

  28. LunaT says:

    I missed the story that proved Halle is crazy. I’m not saying there isn’t a possibility, but, as far as I can tell, she’s just being a total ass about this thing w/Gabriel. Someone clue me in, please, as to what the crazy stories are.

  29. Rita says:


    My hernia just ruptured.

  30. lacy says:

    If the sex scene with Billy Bob in Monster’s Ball isn’t proof enough of Halle being over the top — she won an Academy Award for it!

    She and Olivier should have babies and add some more crazy to their world!

  31. mike says:

    C’mon folks.
    I hate it when people take gossip for gospel, or in other words, there’s zero evidence that she’s kraaazy.

    Ok she’s said some nasty and inane things in her spat with Gabe. But you know what? A LOT of people say nasty things when kids and custody are involved. Doesn’t make them crazy, or if it did, there’d be a lot of crazy folks out there. Seriously. Check out some divorce/custody battles from just ordinary folks, not just celebs, and nasty is simply the tip of iceberg. When kids and/or money is involved, gloves come off and nothing is too low.

    And so what if Bossip (one of the most unreliable gossip sites even for a gossip site) ran a story about a disgruntled ex of Halle calling her crazy? We’re all of the sudden supposed to take either Bossip or an ex with beef seriously now? Really? Seriously? Seriously?!

  32. Lucy says:

    @Kaiser: best open letter ever! Can I sign it too?

    @Rita: your comments are awesome. In fact, I almost pi**ed in my pants.

  33. frewt says:

    Very good Kaiser, I reckon you’ve nailed it. However, I don’t give a shit about him, its her I’m really disappointed with….

  34. Jaye E says:

    Thank you, Mike! I’m no Halle Berry fan, in fact, I want the money I spent to see Catwoman back with interest! I just think it’s funny that a man that was being called a douchebag a couple months ago is suddenly being told to run for the hills because Halle is crazy. I just think the Halle Berry hate is over the top. Has she made a bit of an ass of herself regarding this custody issue? Perhaps, but no one posting here has a dime in that quarter, so I really don’t get the vitriol.

  35. GeekLuva says:

    Totally co-sign to Rita being a contributer to cb! I lol every.single.time she posts!

  36. DGO says:

    By Halle’s own admission, she was going to do herself in over a fight with an ex, and gas her dogs to death with her. This is not a normal person.

  37. GCR says:

    Some men are jealous, evil, controlling,
    abusive and sexist and they love to degrade women to boost their seld-esteem. And they never look in the mirror to see their flaws. If all you sorry people can do is trash Halle so be it. Gabriel Aubry is NOT pure and innocent. Peole NEED Halle to be whatever but this white man they
    know nothing about should NOT be put on a pedestal. If he in fact called his child’s mother racial slurs and the N word and became vindictive toward Halle then he NO wonder Halle had to take him to court. Aubry does NOT get a free pass. Perhaps he is one that turned crazy.

  38. Hate-Kills says:

    There seem to be a professional attack Halle Berry tag team system going on on this site.
    Question is how much money do you charge to destroy a woman who doesn’t even know or care that you exist.
    This Halle Berry hate obsession had become insipid and it shows the hate-mongers to be less than human.

  39. Faye says:

    Team Rita.

  40. Dea says:

    Let these two enjoy the moment. Halle has said she does not want to marry again. I remember when she was invited in Oprah she made it very clear that won’t marry again. Olivier is a womanizer, so I bet he thinks the same about marriage. So as long as they enjoy each-other company, who cares.

  41. gia says:

    Halle has earned the hate. Her pattern of making up stories over the years about those she’s either angry with or tired of, and then being proven as highly inaccurate by the others involved in the situation have made me dislike her, and deem her as crazy, all on my own. Aubry was the straw that broke the camel’s back; nothing more.

  42. Crash2GO2 says:

    I am sure she is quite persuasive…

  43. sunseeker says:

    This article on E ONLINE about Gabriel bein allowed to look after his daughter
    Friends close to Gabriel are super relieved…know why?
    “Because he’s a good guy, not a dog,” a source close to Gabriel tells us.
    It certainly seemed like he played a little dirty though, no?
    “I think he was shocked by how Halle came at him,” continues the friend, referring to the racist allegations and such. “He’s just not that way, [and] the whole thing really took him by surprise.”
    And why are some people accusing Gabriel of not working when he wants to looking after his daughter and Oliver Martinez is following Halle and not working either, apart from his last film with Halle when did he last work.

  44. emma says:

    What is with the “Halle Berry is crazy” schtick that has been going down on blogs and websites recently. Do you have any evidence to be smearing someone like that all the time. I really don’t get it.

  45. Mistress Mandy says:

    Nah Emma they dont have any proof… I tend to think that some are upset with the color of her skin and the color of the man she chose to have a child with. Me thinks a few are a little hot because she stole one of “yours” Now here it is she’s dating another white man? Boy the blood is boiling. None of the stuff that Halle “supposedly” said came directly from her. It came from other sources. And people who were looking for a reason to bash her, ran with it. Eric B said that he cheated and went to rehab for it, but somehow that makes her crazy? Wesley Snipes and Christopher Williams beat her and lemme guess… she deserved it because she’s crazy? Right…

  46. sunseeker says:


    TMZ are saying most of it and wording it bad, first it was he is not working, not he is not working at the moment, has work in progress. Now its “Halle is doing a play expects trouble from Gabriel”, how does she know. In the fall the paternity and eveything else might already be in place. This to me is not about colour, my husband is white and would fight to see his children, my son-in-law is black and would do the same. Whether you are black or white most father I know would do the same.Is she crazy, I don’t know, but she should not keep Gabriel from seeing his daughter. She brought colour into this for a reason and that is definitely wrong. I do not judge by colour but by the way people behave. I would never take away my husbands right to see his children.

  47. bitca says:

    Why the Crazy Train? Well…

    Halle B lit the “nuts” talk herself many years ago (one of you referred to this a while back): in ye olde pre-internet days, this woman confessed to a magazine interviewer that at a low pt in her life/career, she got into her car—w/her dogs—shut the garage door, & was about to commit suicide via carbon monoxide. She then had some sort of ‘moment’ I guess & changed her mind.

    What disturbs me most is that, neither at the time she related this tale—or since (to my knowledge)—has she EVER shown sufficient self-awareness or lack of narcissism to note that *maybe* the little doggies were quite ok & that they DIDN’T want to be offed with her. Perhaps she imagined they’d pine away if she died w/o them; I dunno. She didn’t regard it as being worth explaining. [if somebody has evidence of her backtracking on this event, I’d be delighted; nobody wd want this sort of thing to be true]

    But I can’t remember any of the media calling her on it.

    It is fair to set the tolerance bar a bit higher for actors & ego, but behavior like that isn’t even egotistical—it’s closer to narcissistic personality disorder, & you do not mess an NPD type. They are never wrong, & other humans—& dogs I guess—exist only to serve their wants & needs.

    Thus: hello to the Halle Crazy Train.

  48. kim says:

    I think she is a slut and I hate her in cat woman I think she is ugly