From the Desk of Clive Owen: Musings on Nicole Kidman’s wig



Darlings –

You didn’t expect to hear from me again so soon, did you? Well, once I spoke to you yesterday, I began to realize how horrible I was to leave you alone for so long. It was terrible of me. I apologize. Would you like a foot rub to make it all better? How about a mustache ride? There you go. See, I’m texting you right now with this dirty proposition.



Oh, and I lied to you yesterday. This is not my Ernest Hemingway costume, obviously. I just didn’t want you to know that I’m wandering around San Francisco in dirty clam-diggers, no socks and a North Face fleece, for no reason other than comfort. When I’m not in seduction-mode, I tend to dress down. When your biscuits come to Frisco, however, I will be naked. Or in an impeccable suit, of course. Are your biscuits getting warmer?

Anyway, why I wanted to write to you today: my costar. Nicole Kidman. What do you think of her? She’s playing Martha Gellhorn, the legendary war correspondent, and third wife of Ernest Hemingway, who I am playing. These are some photos of Nicole in character… this wig is quite fetching on Nicole, isn’t it? Would she be offended if I told her she should cut her hair like this? She would probably be offended, but she would forgive me if I offered her a mustache ride.




Photos courtesy of Fame.

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33 Responses to “From the Desk of Clive Owen: Musings on Nicole Kidman’s wig”

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  1. flourpot says:

    Do you think her face hurts? It looks like it hurts. I bet it hurts.

  2. brin says:

    I wish he would have stuck with the lie.

  3. MeMyself says:

    I could see Owen playing Papa if he gained some weight…

  4. the original bellaluna says:

    Ah, lucky me: I’m moving to the Bay area in 5 days. See you soon, lover!

  5. Kayla says:

    These (and HGF of course) are by far my favorite.

  6. Sumodo1 says:

    Her forehead! Zoinks!

  7. Cha Cha Loca says:

    @flourpot, I don’t think she has been able to feel her face for quite a while now.

  8. rkintn says:

    Wow, her face looks like a mask! and it does look like it hurts. Poor thing.

  9. 6 says:

    She is totally squinting but her forehead isn’t moving!! Just a little furrow by the brows. Strategically placed botox, I think.

  10. Camille says:

    Sigh, I <3 him. Clam diggers and all :lol: .

    Yes, Nicole should cut her hair that length. Looks good on her.

  11. Saskia says:

    Can we talk for a second about the dude getting all grabby with Clive’s cell phone? Because he’s a very pretty young thing. He doesn’t have a mustache, but I’m certain he could provide some other rides. He looks resourceful.

    I think maybe I’m just driven to unfaithfulness by Clive’s clamdiggers. Seriously, there’s no reason in the world good enough to excuse trousers like that. I don’t even want to discuss the shoes.

  12. JaneShirley says:

    He looks rather like Tom Selleck.

  13. Dea says:

    The length looks very good on her I think. But to what she claims that she does not do botox anymore? I am several years younger than her and everyone can see normal wrinkles on my forehead at any given time even if I don’t smile. Give me a break, Nicole!! If you stopped botox you are using restalyne or similar products, obviously.

  14. Brittney says:

    She looks exactly like her BFF Naomi Watts in that second picture.

    I’ve never thought they even looked similar, but somehow the wig and that expression turns her into a twin.

  15. Catherine says:

    God I love that man.

  16. TQB says:

    And there you have it: Nicole has transformed herself into a tall Rachel Zoe. They are practically identical.

  17. Dagny says:

    Nicole has the same coat as my mom! and the same hair too!

  18. Raven Sparrow says:

    Yeah, I’m not so sure about Clive and his p*ssytickler.
    Hope he doesn’t keep it for real, prefer him clean shaven.

  19. meg says:

    LOL “are your biscuits getting warmer?” I’m gonna laugh all night cos of that!

  20. azurea says:

    Oh, you sillies! Far from causing pain, Botox relaxes the muscles (or rather, paralyzes them.) I had Botox treatment for migraines for a few years, and was injected in the frown lines at the top of the nose, and in the forehead in a couple of spots. I could still lift my forehead somewhat, and could not really frown much, which in NO WAY hurt! In fact, it felt better. Even if I TRIED to frown, it did not hurt. It seems there is also some confusion out there about Botox vs. fillers. Botox is not a filler…it simply paralyzes the muscles. Lecture over! :)

  21. Mary Jane says:

    He looks like Kevin Kline with the ‘stache… totally NOT a bad thing!

  22. Bill Hick is God says:

    I didn’t recognize him at all. Thought somebody told Bill Murray about ‘Just For Men.’

    Kidman looks like a freshly pissed-on snowbank.

  23. original kate says:

    i love me some clive owen but that porn stache has got. to. go.

  24. ohduho says:

    Deasrest Clive,
    I am in San Francisco! I live here not too far from your movie set though technically I’m closer to Matt Damon’s set than yours.

    Darling do me and every other SFers a favor? DO NOT CALL THIS PLACE FRISCO. Only hipster or hick tourists call it that. There happens to actually already be a city called Frisco and it is not located here on this damned peninsula. Frisco is in Texas.

    Yours Truly,

  25. Desert Cat says:

    Weird, but those photos of Clive remind me of a younger Bill Murray.

  26. Andie says:

    Clive is yummy – but the mo has gotta go! NOT a good look for him. Nicole’s face is not hurting, she is just grimacing as her beautiful porcelain skin has briefly been exposed to some UV rays. Much like myself, she will burn bright red after three minutes standing out there. I like her hair like that.

  27. Violet says:

    i HEART from the desk of clive owen.

  28. marge says:

    IT moves!!!!
    the forehead can MOVE!!!!!

  29. Aqua says:

    Love him.but not the mo.

  30. LT says:

    “Would you like a foot rub to make it all better? How about a mustache ride?”

    BAAAHAHAHAHA. Thanks for that. :)

  31. Anti-icon says:

    This is funny. WTF is he wearing? Like you, I don’t care. I still love him; and you make ol’ Clive seem….so…..delightfully lecherous.

  32. REALIST says:

    Aren’t there like a million actresses who aren’t stick women who could pull off portraying Martha Gellhorn? Nicole looks awful-she does NOT exude the lush look of women back in the 40′s. She looks like a scrawny chick with a wig.

  33. DottieDot says:

    A cross between Tom Hanks and John Krasinski.