Tom Cruise’s Les Grossman comedy/horror film is definitely happening

UNIVERSAL CITY, CA - JUNE 06: Tom Cruise performs onstage at the 2010 MTV Movie Awards held at the Gibson Amphitheatre at Universal Studios on June 6, 2010 in Universal City, California. (Photo by Christopher Polk/Getty Images)

Just a few years ago, Tom Cruise and his big fat mouth landed his previously stellar box-office career in the bottom of the gutter. He needed some serious help and, thanks to Ben Stiller, found a bit of a reprieve through a very uncharacteristic cameo in 2008′s Tropic Thunder. Ever since then, we’ve been hearing rumors of a feature-length spinoff with an update last summer that Cruise would star within and produce the Official Les Grossman movie. Now, we’re hearing via MTV that there’s actually a script for this ill-fated mess:

The 2008 comedy smash Tropic Thunder spawned some memorable characters, to say the least. From Robert Downey Jr.’s very method actor Kirk Lazarus to Jack Black’s drug-fueled Jeff Portnoy, there could have been any number of characters from the film that earned their own spin-off movie.

Of course, since no one in the industry has quite the same pull as Tropic Thunder‘s sleazy, rap enthusiast movie honcho Les Grossman (played by a transformed Tom Cruise), there’s no surprise that it’s him.

When MTV News caught up with “Saturday Night Live” funny man Bill Hader at the first-ever Comedy Awards (which air Sunday, April 10 at 8p.m. on Comedy Central, VH1, Spike TV, Logo, CMT, TVLand, and online at thecomedyawards.com) he told us that the Les movie is written and is getting closer to arriving in theaters.

Hader, who appeared in a few Les Grossman skits in anticipation for the 2010 MTV Movie Awards, confirmed that his friend, actor/writer Michael Bacall (who previously penned Scott Pilgrim vs. the World and is currently working on the upcoming remake of Fright Night) “wrote it and he’s told me some really funny scenes from it.”

While Hader admitted he was vague on the details of what the plot for the movie based on Cruise’s loud, boorish exec would actually be about (“I just know the broad strokes. Michael just telling me, ‘I just wrote this scene where blah, blah, blah and I’m like, ‘Oh, that’s funny, man!’”) or when it would finally make it to theaters (Cruise will be busy with Rock of Ages soon) he was sure of one thing, “It’s gonna be great.”

[From MTV]

Admittedly, the very idea of Les Grossman as portrayed Tom Cruise was originally an amusing one because the cameo conveniently took place at a point when Cruise was best known for sticking his finger in Matt Lauer’s face and refusing to make fun of himself in any capacity. As Grossman, Cruise did the unthinkable by putting on a fat suit and showing off some disgustingly hilarious raunchy dance moves. Still, will anyone pay to watch the Grossman character for a full 90 minutes onscreen? After all, we’ve already witnessed Cruise losing a bit of his seriousness by aping his own persona in Knight and Day, and that wasn’t exactly the box-office smash it was expected to be.

Nonetheless, SlashFilm attempts to make the case that Cruise’s career doesn’t really need this spinoff movie like it did just a few years ago, but I’m not quite understanding the logic there. What has Tom Cruise done since Lions for Lambs (which lost many tens of millions), Valkyrie (which financially underperformed to a lesser degree), and Knight and Day (which did not return Cruise to the top of the pack either)? Nothing. He desperately needs a hit to keep building underground bunkers at his Telluride mountain estate and still allow Katie to continue poorly dressing herself in ridiculously expensive capri pants. Furthermore, Tom just needs to put a movie out there, like, now to would take the focus off the P-E-N-I-S Gummies. Luckily (or not), Cruise is gearing up to star in the film adaptation of Broadway’s Rock of Ages musical, which arrives with the following synopsis:

Rock of Ages is set in 1987 on the Sunset Strip, where a small town girl meets a big city rocker in L.A.’s most famous rock club. Their love story is told through the hits of Journey, Bon Jovi, Styx, Pat Benatar, Foreigner, Twisted Sister, Asia, Whitesnake and many more.

[From Broadway.com]

During its continuing Broadway run, the musical has enjoyed five Tony nominations and, from what I gathered last fall after being forced to cross the street to avoid a huge audience in waiting, is quite popular with New York City tourists. Again, do we really want to see Tom Cruise rocking out to Twisted Sister? It gets even weirder from there. While Russell Brand might have actually found his dream role (he’s been confirmed for the role of club owner Lonny, who reportedly performs a rendition of REO Speedwagon’s “Can’t Fight This Feeling,”), other possible but unconfirmed members of the cast include names like Taylor Swift and Gwyneth Paltrow. That’s the stuff of horror movies!

As a side note on the Les Grossman project and for those who aren’t familiar with Michael Bacall, he’s not only a screenwriter but an actor who played one of the (non-speaking) members of Brad Pitt’s crew in Inglourious Basterds and also had a small role in Quentin Tarantino’s Death Proof as well. I don’t doubt that he’s perfectly capable of putting together a “funny” script, but based upon the character of Les Grossman, more is usually less.

UNIVERSAL CITY, CA - JUNE 06: Tom Cruise performs onstage at the 2010 MTV Movie Awards held at the Gibson Amphitheatre at Universal Studios on June 6, 2010 in Universal City, California. (Photo by Christopher Polk/Getty Images)

UNIVERSAL CITY, CA - JUNE 06: Tom Cruise performs onstage at the 2010 MTV Movie Awards held at the Gibson Amphitheatre at Universal Studios on June 6, 2010 in Universal City, California. (Photo by Christopher Polk/Getty Images)

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32 Responses to “Tom Cruise’s Les Grossman comedy/horror film is definitely happening”

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  1. mia girl says:

    I’ll pay money to see it if in the movie, film mogul Grossman has to deal with the strange demands and actions of a Scientologist/A list actor.

    Now that would be funny.

  2. dorothy says:

    Just knowing that Tom Cruise is doing another movie scares the hell out of me.

  3. sapphire says:

    Will Russell do the couch jumping?

  4. Rita says:

    I enjoyed Cruise as Grossman only because I didn’t realize it was Cruise. The Grossman character was good for 15 min. but it soon went over the top. This whole concept has a little “Rocky Horror Show” smell to it. I couldn’t really make sense of that either although I know it’s a cult classic.

  5. Jenn WInd says:

    This movie is about the only movie I would see him in. The Les Grossman part was the best part of Tropic Thunder, and the only role that I find Cruise even remotley interesting in these days.

  6. mln76 says:

    What’s weird is Tom actually can sorta kinda act when he isn’t being a slave-driving-Katie-controlling-Xenu-freak (don’t believe me watch Magnolia). I’ve never been a Tom Cruise fan so I came to that realization really late. His personality ruined his brand and there is not anything he can do to about it, with that ego there is no way that he’ll retire though. I have a feeling the Len Grossman flick is going to be terrible but it’s his only hope.

  7. TXCinderella says:

    He is coloring his hair now, it is noticeably lighter. Is he wearing Katie’s sweater?

  8. silken_floss says:

    That wound on his left hand is skeeving me out >x<

  9. Jackson says:

    I think the movie will be a turd. But, Cruise is getting to the point where he better start thinking more about ‘character actor’ roles and less about ‘action hero/leading man’ roles. He definitely does not have the face to age into ‘suave, sexy older man’ roles either.

  10. Cuchulain says:

    I love his movies…what be believes is NONE OF MY BUSINESS OR CONCERN!

  11. clare says:

    Yowser! There’s definitely some fillers and botox going on in his face!
    Anything Tom Cruise is in, I don’t pay to see. I will not contribute to the Co$.

  12. mln76 says:

    @clare agreed the only Tom Cruise movie I have ever paid to see is Interview w/a Vamp so I’ve barely contributed to the Xenu monster.

  13. SistaSoFine says:

    I’d watch it, maybe not in the theater but definitely a bootleg or streaming video on my computer (I refuse to put any money in his pockets). He was hilarious in Tropic Thunder.

  14. Nanea says:

    I don’t get how people would associate themselves with anyone from that $ci cult, be it the people who are in talks to join the musical, or anyone who makes movies with Crazy Cruise.

    Ever since finding out about Tiny Tom’s involvement with that cult, I’ve stopped watching his movies, and I don’t support anyone whom I know to be a member.

    I wonder when the authorities will finally wake up and revoke the “Church” o$’s tax-exempt status. Germany and France don’t grant them any privileges, even if they masquerade as a “religion”.

  15. javagirl1 says:

    I don’t know what Miscavige is thinking having Cruise as his front man.
    If I were the Scientologists, I’d tell him, “you can be a part of our group, but just don’t tell anyone you know us.”
    He just makes that organization look worse than it already does.

    As far as the penis gummies, I’d have more sympathy for Katie if she didn’t have that stoned, brainwashed look on her face when the pictures were taken.

  16. mln76 says:

    CORRECTION @ Cuchulain (sorry Nanea) it goes beyond his religious beliefs you know that the CO$ is currently under investigation by the FBI for using slave labor to do work for Tom around the house right?
    http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2011/02/14/110214fa_fact_wright?currentPage=all

  17. Amanda G says:

    Ugh, it’s just like Tom and the rest of Hollywood to beat a joke to death.

  18. mia says:

    Whether you like Tom or not, a Les Grossman movie would be huge. He was hillarious in TT–even when just seeing these pictures here, I couldn’t help but break out in a great big smile. Casting Tom Cruise, and him accepting that original part of Les Grossman in TT, was a genius move that’s going to pay off for all involved, I think.

  19. DeeDee says:

    I don’t care how many levels of crazy he is, thanks Kaiser & CB for putting a picture of him up. When I am fantasizing about guys, I don’t fantasize about their real lives, because then that would usually include their spouses, f’d up cults, etc. I dream about them in character! And Maverick will always have a place in the tub with me :)

  20. benny says:

    It’s gonna bomb like most of the SNL skits that turn into full-length movies: what’s funny for 3 minutes is NOT funny for 2 hours – ESPECIALLY an obnoxious over-the-top charicature like Grossman. Just another example of how Hollywood is totally lacking in creative ideas, and is filled with butt-kissing sychophants. No wonder we’re subjected to so much of this kind of crap.

  21. KC says:

    Poor Lev Grossman with TIME magazine probably gets so much flack off this. I wonder if this roll was based on him.

  22. california angel says:

    “Their love story is told through the hits of Journey, Bon Jovi, Styx, Pat Benatar, Foreigner, Twisted Sister, Asia, Whitesnake and many more.”

    -Double barf! These are supposed to be Rock songs? This is a an accurately compiled list of my least favorite bands from the 80′s lol.

  23. Amelia says:

    DISGUSTING! I thought he was disgusting in Tropic Thunder and brought it down and I continue to think it’s disgusting. Another stupid movie I won’t have to see.

  24. orion70 says:

    His hair scares me and he’s starting to get that super plastic look about him.

  25. eva says:

    I can’t explain why, but I really enjoyed ‘knight and day’. Its funny and quick paced. It’s one of those movies you can watch with the older kids or your hubby.

    I’m not a Tom Cruise fan, but I would definitely watch it again.

  26. Confuzzle says:

    I continue to enjoy watching his career die a slow death.

  27. Solveig says:

    I think Cruise is a good actor, good enough to make me forget his screwed personality when I see him on the silver screen. I also loved Les Grossman.
    That being said, I don’t think that that character can lead a whole movie alone.

  28. truthzbetta says:

    It is a slow death though. Too slow.

  29. wow, Tommy looks kinda hot in that last pic

  30. MrsKrabapple says:

    In that last pic, if you put over-sized round glasses on him, he would look exactly like Tootsie.

    Edited: I had to look up the character’s name: Dorothy Michaels.
    http://tinyurl.com/5w5j4mr

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