Gwyneth Paltrow deigns to hang out with a “non-thin” person, Adele

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I don’t even want to talk about these photos, because something awful is happening in them. These are pics of Gwyneth Paltrow going into (or leaving) Beyonce’s “secret gig” in London last night. Guess who else was there, besides Beyonce and Jay-Z? ADELE. That’s right, bitches. Gwyneth got to hang out with ADELE. That makes me sick. You know Gwyneth is totally going to name-drop Adele from here on out too. “My very dear friend Adele just said to me over Yom Kippur that she thinks my juice fast is the very best.” You can hear it, can’t you? “My BFF Adele told me that she’d be honored to record a duet for my new album – but only if the Dalai Lama wrote the lyrics! So I called up DAH-LEE, which is my little joke name for him, and he was all ‘OMG, GWYN! Of course.’”

But here’s a funny little side note – Beyonce is tight with Adele. They’re becoming close, and Adele drops Bey’s name in interviews, and Bey asked Adele to open for her (Adele couldn’t, because of her throat), etc. So Bey and Adele are tight. Does this mean that Bey is trying to push out her BFF Gwyneth? Probably not. Gwyneth will not be pushed out! She will cling to Beyonce, and she’ll work this friendship with Adele HARD. If Gwyneth says one single goddamn thing about Adele’s weight though, I will fly to Goopland and lay the smack down. You know how Gwyneth hates the “non-thin”. That bitch would probably say something rude and condescending to Adele, I can just see that too.

By the way, in case you were wondering about Gwyneth’s outfit, the dress is Isabel Marant, and it was totally one of Gwyneth’s fashion “suggestions” for peasants in a Goop newsletter a few weeks ago. Basically, she’s wearing a tax write-off, I think.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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51 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow deigns to hang out with a “non-thin” person, Adele”

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  1. Amanda says:

    Goopie is no favorite of mine, but she looks cute here– more casual.

  2. francesca says:

    I hope her feet hurt her all night.

  3. Eve says:

    She probably thinks she can teach Adele a thing or two about singing.

  4. Lem says:

    Beyonce is pretty “non-thin” as well when you remove the industrial spnx. Expect to see a Goop devoted to overweight figure frocks and how to apply ointment from pygmy elephants to ensure proper curves in 3,2,
    The pig pink hair elastic is ‘so commoner’ ; how to fit in amongst the people perhaps?

  5. K-MAC says:

    this woman is thin, beautiful, wealthy, has a great wardrobe, travels, has a family, works at a job that she loves, so why does she often look so miserable?

  6. Oi says:

    I hope Adele punches her if she makes a remark about her weight.

  7. Rita says:

    When I saw the header to this thread, I knew there would be hell to pay.

    Please Gwyneth, hear me I pray. Be subservient to Adele in every way or we shall all pay the price.

  8. Sloane Wyatt says:

    Gwynney has anorexihair! Really, you can see the bald patches. She’s so sickly and drawn. You’d think massive premature bone disease would be her bottom and she’d get help for her lifelong eating disorder, but nooo.

    Beyonce is a tough cookie and can handle that bag of toxic bones if Paltrow ever gets out of line, but not you, fragile songbird.

    Run, Adele, run! Don’t let your talented gentle soul artist self near toxic Gwyn.

  9. phlyfiremama says:

    Ooh, if you need some help administering the GOOP smackdown-an alibi, whatever-just let me know! Don’t mess with Adele, GOOP!

  10. You don't say says:

    Hope she doesn’t show her a picture of herself and then shame her about being fat.

  11. Kristen says:

    Oh, I love that belt.

  12. Laura says:

    Gwynnie looks like Chelsea Handler here

  13. junk573r says:

    Love the dress, hate the shoes. I would never say it to Adele’s face but the girl could stand to loose a few. I haven’t really been paying attention to her but she seems larger than the last time I saw her. It’s gotta be hard on her heart.

  14. Bellatrix says:

    No surprise to see Goop endorse her dear friend Isabel Marant once more. She features this designer heavily in her Goopalicious clothing for commoner columns.
    Two stuck-up better-than-the-rest “ladies of the world”, as perfect a business friendship as it can be.

    Sigh.

    As long as Adele stays away from Tracy, all will be fine.

  15. arock says:

    i have that belt, i got it at marshalls about a month ago.
    so suck that, goopy.

  16. Rhiley says:

    Yeah, I am not saying this to sound like I am picking on goop (even though I love to pick on goop) but she really doesn’t look good here. I do think a lot of the time, she looks nice, especially in her casual, I-just-ran-into-fishmonger-in-the-cooler-and-he-f’ed-me-until-I-was-seeing-red-and-this-is-why-I-am-kind-of-rumpled look, but here goopy does look tired, drawn, and her hair and skin are a wreck. Maybe she hasn’t seen fishmonger in a couple of weeks and so she has lost some of her fishy glow. Fishmonger, please, if you are reading this, give Goopy one of your flying herrings, quick!

  17. Delta Juliet says:

    Of course she’s hanging around with Adele…..she’s a rising star and quite popular at the moment. That is just the kind of attention Gwynnie craves.

  18. kibbles says:

    Don’t be surprised if Adele loses weight if she hangs out with Goopy any longer. I have a co-worker like Goopy who is obsessed with weight and there are times when I just cannot be around her. She doesn’t even realize she is being offensive when she tells people that they used to be thinner – what happened – or that she has a big gut when she’s a size 6. Goopy is totally that person and anyone around her long enough will be affected by her weight obsession as well. Stay away, Adele!

  19. Belle Epoch says:

    So sick of the hype about the dangers of being plump. Adele looks HEALTHY, while skinny Gwynny looks sick as shit.

    “A new study concludes that being a five to 10 kilos overweight may not be as harmful to health as is commonly believed, and may actually confer some benefits when it comes to certain cancers and heart disease…

    “researchers from the U.S. Center for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta, Georgia found Americans who are overweight are less likely to die of heart disease and cancers – including those commonly associated with excess weight, such as breast, kidney, pancreatic and colon cancer…

    “Surprisingly, researchers also found that being overweight may be protective from other causes of death not commonly associated excess weight, such as tuberculosis and Alzheimer’s disease…”

    http://www.voanews.com/english/news/a-13-2007-11-07-voa63-66700067.html

  20. velourazure says:

    someone needs to tell goop that she is not so beautiful that she can run around without makeup.

  21. karena says:

    Adele is stunning. She shouldn’t change a thing. Gwyneth looks so washed out and plain in these pictures.

  22. MarenGermany says:

    If Gwyneth dares to say only ONE bad word to her, all of us here on celebitchy should together rent a bus and call it the “Gwyneth Slap Tour”
    UK, here we come!!

  23. marge says:

    the lenghts Goop goes just to continue to name drop celebs more important/interesting/talented/nice than her…

  24. NeverEver says:

    Run Adele Run. This bitch will kill all your confidence and do it with a smile. She is the eptimy of a frenemy. You know how they say if your ugly on the inside it will show. Anyone else think it’s starting to catch up with good ol’ Gwen. Excuse me miss your insides are showing.

  25. lucy2 says:

    Casual is good, but bad hair and no makeup not so good. Goop doesn’t have the coloring to go without eye makeup.
    Goop seems to enjoy hitching herself to someone else’s rising star (probably learned that from Madonna). She was probably foaming at the mouth at the idea of all the gossips mentioning her and Adele together. Hopefully Adele found her as insufferable as we all do and stays away!

  26. original kate says:

    goop will try and muscle in on the friendship with adele because she (adele – not goop!) is the next big thing in music. she will keep beyonce & jay-z around because they give her “street cred” – or so she thinks. goop always hangs on the trends, and right now it’s adele. also, i gotta agree with posters who said gwynnie looks rather sickly lately. girlfriend has a caloric intake of 700 and whatever nutrients she manages to consume she detoxes away. i’m betting she is slightly malnourished.

  27. melanie says:

    I want that dress….and that belt..and those shoes. *seethingwithjealousy.*

  28. Hellen says:

    Goop’s hair looks hellacious – and yeah, she’s past the age where no-makeup is a workable look. Her skin looks terrible. Adele, on the other hand, looks gorgeous.

  29. Caity says:

    Could you imagine Tracy Anderson training Adele?!?! Yikes!

  30. Rita says:

    @MarenGermany

    Co-sign on the crack-slap bus tour but got a problem here in the States, buses don’t float…need us a big ferry….or is it fairy?

  31. Anne de Vries says:

    No, no, Adele, honey, RUN! Get the fuck away from this poison lady!

  32. Angie says:

    Adele is gorgeous.
    Paltrow is a hag.

  33. AngelMay says:

    Dear Gwyneth, you need makeup to be pretty. There I said it.

    I’m more worried about Adele hanging out with Beyonce and Jay-Z. They’re like talent vampires. They’ll turn her music to crap.

  34. gabs says:

    I love Adele but I want her to stay one of the people, not hanging out with beyonce and gwyneth paltrow in exclusive clubs. That kind of kills the fantasy for me of Adele singing in smoky rundown bars and chillin with her childhood friends. I really hope she doesnt start losing weight now and become all glam and goopy.

  35. curiouser says:

    did anyone notice gwyneth is wearing her engagement ring? (or so it would appear.) any recent gossip about her relationship status? we never see her and her hubby together…

  36. ladybert62 says:

    That dress is ugly and her hair is a mess – overall, she is a 3 on a scale of 10. You can do better Gwennie – guess the wrong people were with you that night! ha ha

  37. Lee says:

    Does she EVER go out with her husband?!

  38. Missfit says:

    Oh my gosh…Adele is so awesome and she seems like such a sweet person…Gwyneth better not be a bitch to her, stupid hoe. :/

  39. Homer says:

    Ahh… it’s 9:30a.m and I’m about to eat a bowl full of pasta, might put a bit of cream cheese through that shit too. 😀

  40. Charlotte says:

    Adele has the most amazing voice – she can teach the Goopster a thing or two about singing. Like how to incorporate real emotion into your singing! Would love to hear them have a sing off with “Rolling in the Deep” just so GP would be completely mashed!

  41. gab says:

    @Angie: Well said. I have nothing to add.

  42. Kiska says:

    HANDS OFF ADELE!!!!!

    If Zombie G gets her bony claws on her she’ll make her only eat brown rice and lettuce leaves.

  43. Meanchick says:

    Never liked Goop. Condescending, vapid, plain and spoiled.

  44. Anonymous says:

    You’d think someone who always talks about how ‘healthy’ she is would take better care of her skin. She looks pretty burnt.

  45. skilo says:

    I love Adele so much, I really hope she stays away from the Goop and her ilk as much as possible. She’s not like them and they will corrupt her beautiful soul if she spends to much time under their influence. I really wish I could tell her how beautiful she is, and how much her voice moves me, how her songs speak to my soul. She is so much more talented, so much more real than anyone in music has been in years. I love that she doesn’t need manufacturing to be great, she just is. I hope she finds the inner strength she needs to tell anyone who tries to change her to f#*k off, and just stay who she is.

  46. Tara says:

    Hand over the shoes, Goop and no one gets hurt!

    A big fattening, yummy, peasant cheeseburger to the first person who can remember when Goop and hubby were last happily pap’d together…..I think Chris has flown the Goop…

  47. Fritzi Schniter says:

    Adele is so pretty. Fishsticks Paltrow is trying so hard to stay in the public eye by leeching onto other people because her personal life is a mess and her man doesn’t love her. Just look at her!

  48. WhiteNoise says:

    Adele has such luminously radiant skin. I love that she – even when wearing that godawful looking tied-dyed tent thing – still looks so utterly gorgeous and sexy and feminine, while poor Goopy, despite her ‘impeccable taste’, looks so insipid and bland.

    Money really can’t buy style.

  49. Gino says:

    Oh my God, please don’t tell me she pulled a Ross “get it together” on Adele.

  50. Tori says:

    OMG…get it together, Kaiser! Get over your hatred of Gwyneth. What she said to that guy was not rude and condescending to him, thus it shouldn’t be to you. You don’t know their relationship.

    So, don’t say she hates non-thin people. Just once and for all say that you hate her and stop writing about her!

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