GQ’s ‘Oral History of Michael Bay’ is epic in its blinding douchebaggery

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For whatever reason — and I’m thinking that Paramount must have paid handsomely for this service in light of the impending release of Transformers: Dark of the Moon — GQ has published a so-called complete “oral history” of Michael Bay. Kaiser already covered the Megan Fox stuff, but GQ has finally presented its audience with the entire eight-page almanac, which is positively epic in its sweeping vision of douchetasticness and purports to “reveal the secret genius behind a true Hollywood visionary.”

Within this article, more than sixty people chime in to lend their support to “the most underappreciated man in show business.” Included in this ass-kissing plethora are fellow directors, producers, actors, and Bay’s mommy, all of whom are engaged in a quasi-heroic effort to both mythologize and humanize Bay. Here are a few highlights:

On Bay’s Directing “Style”

Ben Affleck: I think Michael is actually an auteur in the true sense of the word. Every movie he makes reflects his personal creative vision. You may like it, you may not–but those movies are him without compromise. There’s something to be said for sticking to your guns.

Steven Spielberg: He has the best eye for multiple levels of pure visual adrenaline.

John Turturro: He likes blowing things up

George Lucas: Michael’s films are immediately identifiable.

Ehren Kruger (screenwriter): He’s like this cross between General Patton and Willy Wonka. He’s in command of a massive army, all in the effort to create the ultimate Everlasting Gobstopper.

Michael Bay: I’m, like, a true American.

A true American, really? That’s not even worth arguing over, so now let’s travel back to Bay’s (not so) humble beginnings:

On Bay’s Early Work Directing Music Videos:
Bay: This guy called me in from Capitol Records–he was a hard-ass marine, kinda scary in the meeting. He said, “If you can wrap this Donny Osmond video up for $165,000…” Meanwhile, I’m like two weeks out of school. The most I’ve ever spent is $5,000. I ended up getting paid $500. But I got to make my first thing.

Harriet Bay: I remember going out to watch him shoot it. It was in the Mojave desert, and there’s like 200 people. It’s this big deal. It was so exotic. It was the first time he got to use a helicopter. And he whispers in my ear, “Mom, can you believe I’m getting paid to do this?”

Fuller: The first time I saw Michael on a bigger set, he was doing a video, and there was the hottest blonde girl I’ve ever seen in my life, and she’s got a wind machine on her. She’s dancing, she looks hot, she’s wearing a short skirt. He’s shooting her from a low angle. And he looked at a few of us, and there was this look in his eyes, like he had reached nirvana. It was childlike wonderment.

Scott Gardenhour (producer): There was no question Michael would go on to do other things, and that they wouldn’t be small.

Bay: I had gotten movie offers and turned them down. I took my time. They sent me Saving Private Ryan, but I wouldn’t have known what to do with it.

Oh man, can you imagine what a sh-tstorm Saving Private Ryan would have been with Bay at the helm? Perish the thought.

On Why He Was The Go-To Director For Transformers

Adam Goodman (President, Paramount): Transformers are essentially cars that change into robots, and who better at shooting cars than Michael Bay?

Spielberg: I couldn’t think of a better director to turn a truck into a robot and make us believe it was really happening.

Bay: I thought it was a dumb idea.

Josh Duhamel: Michael poked his head [into a meeting] to say hello and started telling me about his next project, a movie called Transformers. And I go “Transformers? Like the cartoon from the ’80s?” and he’s like “Yeah, yeah,” and he’s all excited about it. And I was thinking, This is the worst idea ever.

Alex Kurtzman (screenwriter): It’s about a boy who’s really obsessed with getting a car. That’s when we saw Michael’s eyes light up like he was a 12-year-old again.

Shia LaBeouf: When I met Mike, I was a seventeen-year-old boy. He was my f&*#king god.

Finally, let us not forget that Bay is not just a directing machine but also flesh and blood.

On Michael Bay, Ladies Man

LaBeouf: I’ve only seen Mike with two women in the six years that I’ve known him. He wants a family and has the heart for it.

Roger Barton (editor): My wife tries to limit my outings with him.

Jon Voight: He has his girlfriends, all of that stuff. He’s an active guy with his gals.

Bay: Well, it was only two [blonds]. But that was two in a row. Normally I don’t go out with blonds.

Harriet Bay: I said, “Oh, Michael, I guess you’re going to be like Warren Beatty. He didn’t get married until he was fifty.” So Michael feels he’s got three more years to go.

Bay: It’s about finding a wife. I’ve had a lot of great girlfriends.

White: I just can’t see him with somebody over 35.

Bay: I’m a serious guy, but I don’t take myself so seriously. Some people are so serious. The persona comes from…I’m a frank guy.

John Malkovich: You know, it’s an incredible amount of pressure. And sure, somebody could say “He’s a junkie for that,” or “He likes the authority,” but I always think, God, that must be so lonely.

Shia LaBeouf: Mike is a vulnerable guy. He’s the guy who laughs at a joke, then asks you why it’s funny.

Scarlett Johansson: I ran into him leaving a party once and asked him if I could be the Easy-Bake Oven Transformer. He looked at me in all seriousness and said, “There isn’t one.”

[From GQ]

The article then goes on for several more miles of unbelievable buttkissing from all angles. While this may seem like a lot of excerpting, believe me when I say that it doesn’t even scratch the surface. If you have the stomach for it (not to mention an excess of free time), the rest of the article will figuratively “blow” your mind in its blatant disregard for any reality outside of explosions and slo-mo running sequences. There is, however, an interesting tidbit about why Bay feels that he really made Will Smith the movie star that he is today because of Bad Boys. While that may or may not be true, one thing is for certain: Michael Bay really is King of the Dipsh-ts. And he might very well be the guy with the pretty blonde dangling from his arm, but there’s no question to the fact that she was paid to be there.

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Photos courtesy of Fame Pictures

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76 Responses to “GQ’s ‘Oral History of Michael Bay’ is epic in its blinding douchebaggery”

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  1. rhiana says:

    Rosie-Huntington-whatever looks like a waxwork in that first pic!

  2. Heatheradair says:

    Did ScarJo *REALLY* say that? That Easy-Bake Oven bit? Girl deserved to get a shot at the Transformer Franchise, then – she’s dumb and unfunny and likes to talk about her hotness. Oh dear.

  3. Eve says:

    *BAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRFFS!*

    EDIT:

    There is, however, an interesting tidbit about why Bay feels that he really made Will Smith the movie star that he is today because of Bad Boys.

    Then he’s wrong once again. Will Smith became famous when he starred in Independence Day (by another director of horrible action movies: Roland Emmerich). And before that, he was already a famous TV star.

  4. kieslwoski says:

    Well the quote from Scarlett is an obvious dig.

  5. Kaiser says:

    Love the ScarJo story, but if you go and read the whole thing, the story about Bay filming Pearl Harbor is crazy. He almost blew up Hawaii.

  6. werty says:

    Scarlett Johansson: I ran into him leaving a party once and asked him if I could be the Easy-Bake Oven Transformer. He looked at me in all seriousness and said, “There isn’t one.”
    ________________________

    Ok that was funny.

  7. mia girl says:

    Some of these industry comments crack me up because they actually dont’s seem that positive:

    “Steven Spielberg: He has the best eye for multiple levels of pure visual adrenaline.” (In other words, he’s good at blowing things up)

    “John Turturro: He likes blowing things up” (In other words, I can’t think of anything nice to say)

    But my favorite is…
    “George Lucas: Michael’s films are immediately identifiable.” (In other words its like a piece of crap on the sidewalk, you immediately know what it is and walk around it.)

  8. TQB says:

    I like how they tried to toss in my beloved Malkovich for credibility, but his comment is really about how sad and pathetic Bay is.

  9. Kaboom says:

    He may be a douchebagel but he sure is honest about living his dream without hiding behind phony environmental activism or some other fig leaf to atone for his enjoyment of success.

  10. malia says:

    Michael Bay is HATED here in Hawaii, he made quite the reputation for being an entitled hollywood ahole who showed no regard or respect for the place he was working in. And all for what? The shittiest WW2 movie ever made.

    He’s horrible, by all accounts he’s a weird control freak with serious woman issues. Rose whateverher name is just explained her experience working with him on that Victoria’s Secret commercial-he played some weird mind and control game with her too, making her walk like a half of mile in heels just to eff around with her.

  11. Blue says:

    He looks so creepy staring at Rosie. Btw she looms like a wax figure or robot. Pretty but blank faced.

  12. malia says:

    and ps: look at Shia unplugged and un-Details photoshopped. Dude is getting that Leo Decaprio face bloat going pretty early on in the game, and that’s not a good thing.

  13. JuJuBee says:

    Ugh Rosie Whatsherface looks like a mannequin devoid of any soul. Scary! Michael Bay will have plenty of people up his ass as long as he is making some people in Hollywood very, very rich. Transformers has gotten horrid reviews and will probably bring in huge weekend numbers. As for those quotes you posted, they seemed very general and nothing that was actually praising him. Which speaks volumes of what people think of his work and personality.

  14. Hautie says:

    I read this article yesterday and came away with a different vibe.

    I read it and immediately thought, “what a delusional jackass!”. :)

    Seriously, it was as if everyone was desperate to find something positive to say, about his truly awful personal and work behavior.

    “Hodenfield: We blew up hundreds of bombs, multiple ships out in the (Pearl)harbor. I had to shut down two interstates. I was like, Oh, my God—people are gonna think the Japanese are attacking again, ’cause we were gonna blow this place sky high.”

    (well yea… he did try to blow the sh*t up out of Pearl Harbor again… but hey everyone lived this time!)

    “Shia LaBeouf (actor, Transformer series): It’s the casting. With a different cast, Pearl Harbor would be considered a masterpiece.”

    o.0

    Okkaayy…. no actually throwing Affleck under the bus for that mess is not appropriate.

    but then this gem gets dropped by Bay himself… speaking about Pearl Harbor… after it tanked. And the critics hated it.

    “Bay: I don’t change my style for anybody. Pussies do that.”

  15. sarahb says:

    bwahahah, Ladies man? More like guy who can get laid due to his credentials and bank statement. I love that megan fox said outside his little world on the set that he controls, he is socially retarded and has no game.

  16. mia girl says:

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again (until someone agrees even a little with me, ha ha!)… Maybe its the shape of her head and the placement of her eyes, but i swear in some shots, that Rosie girl kinda looks like Gollum (if Gollum had a 6 foot victoria secret model for a sister).

  17. lucy2 says:

    “He’s the guy who laughs at a joke, then asks you why it’s funny.” That says a lot, doesn’t it?

    LOL at the non-compliments of some of the quotes.

  18. original kate says:

    i couldn’t be bothered to read the GQ article but he certainly has douchebag hair.

  19. AngelMay says:

    Is this a parody?
    That Rosie H-W chick, yeah she’s a robot.

  20. Eve says:

    @ Lucy2:

    “He’s the guy who laughs at a joke, then asks you why it’s funny.”

    That says a lot, doesn’t it?

    Yup, it does.

  21. Sloane Wyatt says:

    Rosie looks like a scary Twilight Zone kewpie doll. She is frightening like a scary clown!

    Bay is a dickweed, and I feel really good that I have not seen any of his movies other than ‘Bad Boys’. No way will I give him any of my entertainment budget. Creep.

  22. jc126 says:

    I loved John Turturro’s backhanded slam at Bay! And the others.
    I hate Michael Bay movies. Awful crap.

  23. Rita says:

    Okay, so the best of the best made a real effort to enlighten us about Michael Bay so let’s sum up.

    Michael Bay:

    Likes to look up young girl’s skirts.
    Likes to blow up things but didn’t know what to do with “Saving Private Ryan”.
    Is a true American.
    Is the very best at shooting cars.
    Was seen “f&*#king god”
    Likes having sex with two women.
    Is serious about using the word serious.
    Doesn’t get Easy-Bake Oven jokes.

    If he drinks beer and farts in bed, he could be my husband.

    What a fascinating man!!! *Waves to brin*

  24. Sandra says:

    “Bay: I don’t change my style for anybody. Pussies do that.”

    Well what a f§cktard. Transformers is about to make 50 millions just in one day (Lainey).
    WTF?????

  25. ZenB says:

    [John Turturro: He likes blowing things up

    George Lucas: Michael’s films are immediately identifiable.]

    John Turturro made me laugh.

    Lucas is a bit of the pot calling the kettle black. As a grown woman who as a child made her mom take her to see Star Wars every month for the year it played at Mann’s Chinese – I.CANNOT.SIT.THROUGH.STAR.WARS.

    It’s more torture than my least favorite Bay Film: Armageddon (I’ve not seen them all). Heck, it’s almost Matthew McConnaughey Movie level bad for me. Oh and Indy 4. Of course Bay probably worships Lucas, all men seem to.

    Private Ryan with Bay… *I* would have preferred it, it would have been forgettable and I wouldn’t have been dragged to see it because no one would have thought it was “high art” and “must-see”

    I wish I could forget it. I didn’t technically dislike it but I’m not interested in the realities of war. I don’t like seeing guts splayed out. I’ve never seen Saw or Hostel or any of that stuff. I refuse.

  26. ZenB says:

    @Eve @ Lucy2:

    “He’s the guy who laughs at a joke, then asks you why it’s funny.”

    That says a lot, doesn’t it?

    Yup, it does.

    ~ Michael Bay as Commander Data LOL!(

    (gee, I hope that restored my nerd/geek cred after admitting I can no longer stomach Star Wars)

  27. Az says:

    I am in the camp that believes that this guy’s penis must be freakishly tiny.

  28. ZenB says:

    @sarahb “bwahahah, Ladies man? More like guy who can get laid due to his credentials and bank statement. I love that megan fox said outside his little world on the set that he controls, he is socially retarded and has no game.”

    I take anything Megan says with a grain of salt… sorry can’t like her… I just can’t.

    BUT I T.I.A – I’ve always assumed Bay’s persona was an act. He wants us to think he is the all-American frat boy (I went to USC. I *loathe* frat boys) but he is hiding his nerdiness behind a facade because he is lucky he is tall and *had* a nice head of sandy blond hair(note receeding hairline) Let’s be honest here, no one who is out playing sports or whatever it is boys do make movies as a child, let alone watch them ad nauseum (see Tarantino, Quentin)99% of huge film directors are nerds. I will not say 100% because there may be an exception or 2 but Michael Bay try as he might is not it. He doesn’t WANT to be. He’s obsessed but he knows what he is and that makes him uber-douchy.

    Did any of you see the interview he did along side James Cameron in the Reporter? Yes, I am a film geek shoot me… Cameron gets his ideas for action sequences while blasting music really loud. Bay gets them while doing stomach crunches. That is HILARIOUS… I can just hear Bay’s internal monologue… “must not look like Tarantino… must not look like Tarantino”

    In school, he had trouble focusing—what would probably now be diagnosed as ADD—but showed an early talent for physics, photography, the making of things.

    — I have an aptitude for nerdspotting – physics! LOL (yes, Michael that is funny, why because you just walked right into my stereotype)

  29. ZenB says:

    @Az – I thought that was a given.

  30. Jaded says:

    He’s clearly got a chip on his shoulder the size of the Empire State Building, and yes @Az, it’s likely because he has a tiny todger (referencing Keith Richards’ comment on the size of Mick Jagger’s penis)

  31. Trillion says:

    I absolutely cannot stand it when people use “pussy” as a euphemism for weakness. Hate it. Especially now that I’ve experienced birth. Pussy beats a limp dick any day.
    I knew someone who was a PA on his set for a few days (before he quit in disgust). His job was to procure coke and hookers for Bay.
    This may explain why he looks so much older than “47″.
    His movies are gigantic, shiny, crapfests so yay for the Southpark guys for putting that in song.

  32. ZenB says:

    Guys, read the GQ. It’s funny!!

    “It also doesn’t help his image that on his film sets he can be a notoriously domineering prick. Bay has flourished, though, not just because his eye-strafing event movies rake in so much money but also because—and let’s whisper here, lest the film snobs are listening—so many of them kick ass. Sure, the dialogue is often subliterate and his fast-cutting style can cause epilepsy.”

    Read More http://www.gq.com/entertainment/movies-and-tv/201107/michael-bay-oral-history#ixzz1Qgy8MwKb

    ~LMAO! epilepsy! HA! Sub-literate! ROTFL! Domineering prick! LOL! Do I need to explain to Commander Bayta why that is funny? Because I can’t. It just is!

  33. Dhavy says:

    I know I’m being dragged to watch this crap tomorrow and by the look of these pictures and the previews I’ll be stuck watching a fax figure trying to act in a movie that doesn’t require talent….I’ll be missing Fox

    This guy has money because he blows things…why are all these dumbasses kissing his chavounistic ass?

  34. Eve says:

    @ Az and ZenB:

    He must have dick issues for sure. His is probably not only tiny, but also thin and never fully erect.

    @ Trillion:

    Totally agree with you. Also “pussy” reminds me of cats that are extremely tough animals (that I love dearly).

  35. kira says:

    This is funny as heck, thanks for the laugh. This guy’s EGO is bigger than all of Texas.

  36. ZenB!tch says:

    @Trillon I haven’t given birth so my pet peeve is “throws like a girl” “that’s so girly”. I like being a girl and none of these guys have half the ovaries we do, balls are nothing.

    I would call Bay (and more Shia – he sets me off more for some reason) a limp-dicked cocksucker but Bay said that was rude and a lady is never rude, so I will compliment them…. PRICKS!

  37. Eve says:

    @ Trillion:

    By the way, I haven’t given birth (nor I plan to — ever) but any woman who can endure that is a hero in my opinion.

  38. ZenB!tch says:

    Last GQ quote:

    Kenny Bates (stunt coordinator, various Bay films): Michael Bay is not gonna tell a love story. It’s not because he doesn’t care; it’s because that’s not part of who he is. He’s not a terribly sensitive guy. But he’s a great filmmaker.
    —————————————-

    I realize that is meant to be an insult but for me that is a good thing. I hated Twilight so much vampires are ruined for me. I only made it to chapter 4 or something. The love story is why I hated Pearl Harbor (and of course Titanic). Bay should have been true to himself overall and turned it down instead of using pejoratives for the female anatomy. Doing it at all makes him a #%# #$%#$$%# @!#@!#@#$@# sell out.

    I’ll be avoiding “Larry Crowne” like the plague this weekend. Every time I see it I cringe. I’ll go see Cars 2, Super 8 and probably Transformers. There is something to be said for things going boom.

    Ironically, the one Bay movie I do genuinely like is “the Island” the one that tanked. I think there is some kind of love story in that.

  39. Des says:

    @Malia – I was JUST going to post a link to that story of EPIC douchebaggery:

    http://theblemish.com/2011/06/michael-bay-prefers-to-demean-women/

    Disgusting creep. I’ll never forgive him for making me so rabidly Team Fox. And of course! He’s Shia LaDouche’s role model. Who woulda guessed?

  40. Ally says:

    I would utterly loathe Michael Bay, except for the self-aware way he mocked his own hackery in this commercial:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXRCf9LbLM0

    The gicks sure do love him, though.

  41. Faye says:

    Rosie is so beautiful, but there is something that bothers me about her, and I just think I put my finger on it…she looks sort of dead in the eyes. Like no one’s home. Is that horrible to say or does anyone agree with me?

    Obviously, she could be a delightful and intelligent person and I could just be judging a book by the lovely cover, but that’s what I see.

  42. ADS says:

    Shia’s speech about leaving the Transformers Franchise?

    “I just don’t think right now there’s anywhere to take Sam,” he said. “I’ve learned a great deal from Michael, as a person, as an actor, as a person on set. And it’s not that I don’t enjoy working with Michael. I love working with Michael. I would do any movie Michael wants to do. I just don’t think there’s anywhere to take it with Sam.”

    My goodness could he of shoe-horned Bay’s name anymore?? For all of Shia’s bad ass rebel schtick there is no denying he is just another Hollywood bitch boy.

  43. Turtle Dove says:

    None of the stuff that people have said about him is positive. Had he looked at it critically, he would realize that he’s been critiqued negatively NOT praised. The sad part is that this dumb*ss didn’t get that before this manifesto went to print. Now it’s out there for the world to read and reference again and again…. and laugh and laugh and laugh.

    “cry-BAY-b” is one thing….. bully-BAY is a poor man’s James Cameron. He is. Cameron gives you sweeping plot and there’s an epic-ness to his tales. There’s also longevity. Bay does not have that. He makes films for the moment. No-one looks at his past work and sees it as significant and influential…. hell… no one looks at his CURRENT work and thinks that. Cameron’s work is important and touches people on a social and emotional level. HERE’S WHERE BAY FAILS. “cry-BAY-b” is not good at the social and making connections with people, as a consequence, his work will NEVER rival his contemporaries in importance.

    He knows this. Bay is overwrought with feelings of inadequacy. You can see it in the quotes people have about him and what he says. He’s inarticulate….. stunted socially….. and probably sexually inadequate as evidenced by his objectification of women. A man that doesn’t understand the conceptualization of a milk commercial THAT HE SHOT will never create indelible images…. ever.

    Bay: “The offer to do Got Milk? came to me and I’m like, “Milk? That’s embarrassing.” When I did it, I was like, “This is a terrible commercial. I don’t get it.” It won the Grand Prix Clio for Commercial of the Year. I think it’s an OK commercial.”

    …. (shakes head sadly) … and he’s being entrusted with impressing images upon an audience….. scary. It’s like a person with down’s syndrome teaching public education. And…. yeah…. I feel bad comparing sweet developmentally challenged individuals to this douche. They really don’t deserve the unfavorable association.

    Great posts today, everyone. I had a laugh reading them.

  44. bokchoi says:

    Rosie WhatsHerName looks absolutely vacant. Absolutley nothing, no “all spark” or what ever the hell it is that animates most of the robots in these films.

  45. tara says:

    From the interviews I’ve seen with him and others perceptions of him, he almost sounds like someone with autism or an idiot savant. I mean the Scarjo anecdote and the part about him laughing but not getting a joke is some straight up Dustin Hoffman “I’m an excellent driver” RAinman shit!

  46. Ashley says:

    I’ll give him brownie points for the no blondes thing (which is weird for a douche). No offense to blondes or anything but it always creeps me out when a guy is like “I only date blondes”. That’s a red flag for me (oh and only dating Asian chicks). They usually end up being over grown frat boys who also like huge [fake] tits.

    I like Rosie’s choice of dresses for the premieres but damn she “looka like a man”. Her face is all hard sharp angles.

    As for Transfomers, I expected to hate it but one day I was bored and had seen everything on HBO on Demand. The only thing left was Transformers so I reluctantly pressed play but was very impressed with the CGI. I HATE CGI, so it’s hard to impress me. They did a great job on it.

  47. ZenB!tch says:

    @tara I don’t think he is an idiot savant. I think he is good at more than one thing.

    I *do* think most of these guys are some type of autistic, likely high-functioning AspergersAsbergers. Tim Burton, Quentin Tarantino, they are all odd birds.

    They all seem to have talent (I see Bay’s talent more in spectacle and engineering than in cinema) but no social skills – not that SHIA is one to talk. He’s worse than all of them.

  48. ZenB!tch says:

    In case anyone is wondering about the high number of posts. Working in this industry peripherally and growing up in the town, the psychology of these guys fascinates me for some reason.

  49. ZenB!tch says:

    @Turtle Dove – Cameron has a plot? I see it as a different kind of pablum. I LOATHED Titanic. loved Aliens, no clue what I thought of Avatar since I was under an “its soooo preeeety”.
    I think it was some preachy crap about saving the planet and the white man rescuing the noble blue people.

    The one redeeming quality of Cameron’s is he likes women. Bay is afraid of us.

    I also see Cameron as more of an engineer than a film maker.

  50. ZenB!tch says:

    I’m so into trying to figure out the psychology of the Hollywood Super-Ego that I forgot poor Rosie.

    Picture 1: The silver dress is hot! I worship the ground that dress walks on but she is on something a lot stronger than Xanax or Ativan.

    Picture 2: Love the blue dress and MB’s suit – iffy on his tie – she’s not vacant there, she is aghast and she is trying to squirm away while not looking rude. Bay has his had on her tush. She’s not a (pretend) tart like Megan (yeah I had to get in my Megan bashing) and I hope she didn’t touch Shia like Megan and Isabel ALLEGEDLY did. ICK!

    Team ANYONEbutShia

  51. Mauibound says:

    @# 31. Amen sister!

  52. fannomore says:

    larry crowne…transformers….Lifetime wins oh snap

  53. Flan says:

    Rosie looks uncomfortable with him.

  54. Kim says:

    Hilarious – even the people interviewed have nothing great to say. They certainly arent talking about him like Scorcese or a REAL director who actually makes good movies! No comments about how he is a great director or he has so much talent which we would expect when talking about a movie director.

    George Lucas comment is brilliant. He blows things up and thats it – haha Any college film major could do any of his films and do it better.

    Does he realize he only has famous friends and get girls because he is a director and not because he has true talent? If so then Kudos for him – if not he really is in la la land.

    Luckily, his lack of talent means he probably wont be making movies in 10 years. or His ego will get to him and he’ll piss someone above him off

  55. MB says:

    This guy is your typical hollywood pig.
    The kind of guy who is so unattractive and awkward, and has such a low opinion of women in general, that he weaseled himself into hollywood so he could ‘have his pick’, all the while pretending to himself that women actually desire him for him because he is so great.

    Gros gross gross. I refuse to spend a single dollar to help facilitate this guys web of dellusion.

  56. Shay says:

    LMAO George Lucas is the king of diplomacy. Immediately identifiable can also be synonymous for ‘crap’, ‘bimbo actresses’, ‘douche-bag leading men (like Shia LaDouche)’, exploding objects/buildings/etc…it can go on.

    As for Ben Affleck’s comment. We all know that the true sense of ‘auteur’ is synonymous with egomaniacal wanker.

    If I see another picture of that vapid looking sex blow up doll (Rosie whatever) I’ll scream. Doesn’t she have any more animated facial expressions other than her vacant ‘my brain is on vacation’ look?

    This idiot, Michael Bay, was recruited by the Australian Commonwealth Bank to direct a tv commercial, that received so much backlash. Even an American ad agency criticised the advert.

  57. Mario says:

    Yes George Lucas they are immediately identifiable AS CRAP.

  58. Camille says:

    I have nothing really to add about Bay that hasn’t already been said, but I just wanted to comment that Rosie is apparently 5’9 and she has to be wearing heels in that pic with her, Bay and Shia LaDouche, which leads me to believe that Shia is under 5’9.
    No wonder he and Bay are dickheads- short man disease.

    @Trillion: Bay is 47?? That makes him the same age as Brad Pitt! And people (see: ‘haters’) have the nerve to say that Pitt ‘isn’t aging well’. LOL! Hilarious.

  59. Ilovemee says:

    The majority of those comments don’t sound like ass kissing to me. It’s sounds like people struggling to say something nice. He has shallow written all over his face.

  60. Emily says:

    In the pic with the sparkly dress, Rosie’s eyes are so asymmetrical she looks like a Picasso.

  61. caliluv says:

    dude, rosie looks like she’s trying to ignore his creepy old man “would you like a ride in my car, little girl” stare he’s giving her. lol

  62. Canuck says:

    This movie must be really terrible. They’ve been dragging Megan Fox into it constantly for the past couple of weeks, pretty much throwing her under a bus while using her name for “controversy”. Now they have to pull the director into the limelight for publicity? Can you spell “smells of desperation”?

    In addition, the guy is a douchey control freak, from all accounts.

  63. Turtle Dove says:

    Kim (54) & ZenB!tch (49), I wanted to compare him to someone who is on the same playing field. If I had to choose a great director then Scorsese would rank up there. He doesn’t make the same type of movies that ‘cry-BAY-b’ does, not even close. George Lucas is also ranks high on my list too.

    Hell, I’d even put Tarantino well above Bay. He too isn’t afraid to make women kick*ss. Anyone who makes a woman, Uma, his muse is right by me.

    tara (45) LOL

  64. DeeVine says:

    Ass-kissing article? I read it compeletely different. Many people took jibes at him without being too obvious.

  65. Callumna says:

    His teeth bend inward. Ew. So literally every time he breathes, he sucks.

    And he has to pay for time spent with, well anyone besides the mother.

  66. Tiffany says:

    Megan Fox’s rep calls her at home and tells her to read the GQ article. Some time passes as she reads itaher husband comes home and they have dinner. They are at the sink washing diashes and Megan excuses herself to the backyard, she stands in the grass and yells, ‘I was right bitches.’ The only difference between Fox and Bey is in 10 years Fox will move on with life and Bey will still be trying to preserve his moment by making Transformer 10: Really your still making these. Don’t mock, that can be a potential title.

  67. tapioca says:

    If you asked Michael Bay how he sleeps at night, he’d probably quote Rainier Wolfcastle’s, “On top of a pile of money with many beautiful ladies.”

    I really don’t think a guy surrounded by desperate starlets with low self-esteem & paid millions of dollars to blow sh*t up really cares if anyone thinks he’s a douchebag!

  68. Flan says:

    Haven’t disliked a celebrity as much as I dislike Bay and his minion Shia.

    What a puke-worthy duo.

    @Tapioca; he’s still not over how Megan Fox did not worship him. So if he knew people called him cry-BAY-b and the like, temper-tantrums of epic proportions would ensue.

  69. ElleGin says:

    Ew

  70. tooey says:

    Michael Bay is a woman-hating toddler and the full proof is on display in that horrific movie. I liked the first one (I have a son; I’m HAVE to go see these) though it was overlong. Second was meh, this was just pure torture. And for the life of me I can’t understand why Francis McDormand, John Malkovich and even that Asian guy from the Hangover movies would appear in this shit. And McDormand must have pissed Bay off on set because the harsh way she is lit in comparison to anyone else makes her look like a witchy crone. Which is what I imagine Bay thinks of any non-underwear model type over the age of 21….

    Oh, and Shia LaB is the best thing about these shit movies. He’s a good actor who deserves better and I hope he escapes the clutches of Bay-B and this franchise and gets to do more worthy things.

  71. tooey says:

    And I keep fantasizing that Jason Statham (who is dating RHW, right?) will run into Bay and kick his ass for treating RHW badly on set. Which I’m sure he did…

  72. bluhare says:

    Rosie does look vacant, but wouldn’t you all go to your happy place if you had to stand around with that guy?

    She’s probably in that place where you wonder why you wished for it now you finally have it.

  73. Chris says:

    I’ve noticed that a lot of the press about the new Transformers movie is about its box office numbers and not about the quality of the movie itself. I wonder why?

  74. ZenB!tch says:

    @Turtle Dove I love Tarantino – in spite of myself because I hated Reservoir Dogs. A movie with no women. Hrrmph! I worship the ground Shoshanna from Inglourious Basterds walks on. Even if I did want to shoot Pitt whenever he came on screen.

    Scorsese puts me to sleep. I try but I can’t make it.

    My fave current director is Chris Nolan and he can make things go boom too.

    Least favorite: Brett Ratner – wannabe Bay with even less talent.

    Remember, the article said Bay was adept at physics. I can totally see that. Physics and Chemistry make things go BOOM! I think Bay has a real gift with pyrotechnics.

    @Camille – I think Bay and Pitt are both aging badly. The difference is I don’t think Bay has had anything done. My derm said those spots can be lasered off (I have those without the wrinkles and dryness). Pitt has had all sorts of things done to no avail. I would suggest Bay look into it. If he wants to be that vain, then walk the walk.

  75. Turtle Dove says:

    Zenb!tch (74) I like Chis Nolan too. He makes what I call “intelligent thinkers.” He caught my eye with Memento 10 years ago. With the exception of Insomnia, I’ve liked all of his work. He’s a director that merges well crafted dialogue and the artistry of visuals together beautifully. Bay could learn a few things from him.

    Bay is good at physics…. he’s better with THINGS and not people. It’s too early in the day to start a tirade. :)

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