Kellan Lutz is single. Kellan Lutz is on the prowl. Kellan Lutz knows that every lady wants a piece of Kellan Lutz. Kellan Lutz would be happy to oblige, in his Kellan Lutz-y way, because every single non-Kellan Lutz person out there deserves a piece of The Kellan Lutz. But Kellan Lutz frets that Kellan Lutz is not enough Man to satisfy every lady. So in the rare case that Kellan Lutz isn’t up for giving a lady a piece of Kellan Lutz, Kellan Lutz will pose for a photo with a non-Kellan Lutz. This is what Kellan Lutz offered to a group of ladies at a restaurant in New York. Kellan Lutz was all, “Hi, I’m Kellan Lutz, you ladies look you could use some Kellan Lutz in your lives.” And the ladies were like “OMG, Kellan Lutz, you’re so Kellan Lutz-y!” And then tragedy struck:

Kellan Lutz and five friends asked to move their table at CO-OP at The Hotel on Rivington nearer to a gaggle of gorgeous women Wednesday night. The raucous females were drinking champagne and eating oysters when newly single “Twilight” star Lutz leaned in to chat them up.

A spy said that when they asked for a photo, Lutz was happy to oblige — but was stunned to learn the women actually just wanted him to take a photo of their group, but not with him. Lutz’s rep said, “None of this is true.”

[From Page Six]

Kellan Lutz is sad to find out that non-Kellan Lutzs do not want Kellan Lutz in their photos. Kellan Lutz was preparing Kellan Lutz’s finest serial killer smile and eye twinkle, because Kellan Lutz KNOWS how to pose for a photo, thank you. But then Kellan Lutz was sad to realize that these drunk ladies didn’t even want Kellan Lutz’s photo. This makes Kellan Lutz sad. Kellan Lutz called Kellan Lutz’s rep and ordered him to deny this terrible Kellan Lutz story. And then Kellan Lutz went home and cried Kellan Lutz-y tears.

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.