A few weeks ago, I used this poster for the new Nicole Kidman-Nicolas Cage movie, Trespass, for the lead link. I couldn’t get over what the studio did to poor Nicole’s face, while most of you were downright frightened by Cage, not Kidman. Anyway, Trespass has a brand new trailer, and woo doggie, is it a work of art. Sorry, I meant “a work of fart.” This film will go down as The Epic Battle Of Nic & Nic: Wiglet v. Rubber Lips. I don’t know where to look – it’s like my eyes have no place to settle. Do I stare uncomfortably at Cage’s crazy wiglet and his wild over-acting, or do I watch Kidman’s magically inflating and deflating rubber lips and her breathy “sexy-dramatic” acting?

Okay, I know the Kidman-loonies are going to yell at me, but I think Nicole is WORSE than Cage here. As actors, both of them had potential at one point. Hell, both of them were primed to be the best actors of their generation at one point. But Cage fell to earth and these kinds of dumb movies are basically all he does nowadays. He knows how to “act” in them. Meanwhile, Kidman was hoping for a new career track and THIS is what she gets? Trying to contort her frozen BotoxFace into something resembling fear, and she just ends up looking… odd. Constipated? Confused? Like she’s thinking, “Why did my agent think was a good idea again?”

As for the plot… er… it’s derivative of about a dozen different movies. Like, Firewall, Dead Calm, Hostage, Panic Room, and assorted B-rated also-rans.

Funny story: this film will be released in theaters on October 14. It comes to DVD two weeks later! *headdesk*

Photos courtesy of WENN.