Ashton Kutcher was on Ellen yesterday to promote Two and a Half Men, which premieres next Monday on CBS. I watched (scrolled through) the whole CBS fall preview show online to see if there were any clips from the upcoming season, but all they had were some promo videos that Ashton had recorded with the other two lead actors. (That’s at about 7:30 into this video.) They’re trying to keep the show under wraps, and are using shirtless Ashton to promote it.

In a promotional clip for his Ellen appearance (video above), Ashton stripped down to supposedly nothing and quipped that he was “going to do everything nude from now on” since the ad for Two and a Half Men, “Everything will be Revealed,” was supposedly getting a lot of attention. We couldn’t tell if Ashton was really showing his bits, since they were heavily pixelated. I’m sure he had on some flesh-toned underwear. The entire bit was kind of lame and underwhelming, and it made me grateful that I didn’t have to see Ashton’s junk. He’s superficially attractive, but the guy does not do it for me at all.

I was able to watch some clips from this interview online (they’re out of order, but you can see them here) The best part was when Ellen gave Ashton a candy-covered negligee and thong to give Demi for their sixth anniversary. (The sixth anniversary present is supposed to be candy.) Ashton tried to put them on and then started eating off the bust of the lingerie. He’s a goofball, and he’s the funniest when he’s acting like one and not trying to play it straight. As for the character and the plotline that he’ll be playing on Two and a Half Men, he was really vague and said he couldn’t reveal much.

“I think that there’s a lot of interest in what’s going to happen. I think that in a day and age when everything [is] shared all over the place all of the time, I think sometimes it’s really good to try and keep it a secret.

“I think there was a lot of drama about what was going to happen with Charlie and how they were going to introduce this new character. I can say that I’m playing an original character on the show. I’m not playing Charlie Harper… I think it’s been revealed that I am a billionaire Internet investor guy, but that’s all I can really say.”

TMZ pretty much already revealed how Charlie’s character is going to bite it, and we’ve heard that there’s a funeral for him and everything. It’s not like the news has been kept under wraps this whole time.

Ashton did bring a clip to show on Ellen, that’s at 5:00 into this video, but all you see is his naked back at the refrigerator and then he turns around and introduces himself as “Waldo.”

Then he joked that he’ll be nude a lot on the show.

“It feels so nice and breezy. I can’t be nude at my house, because my stepdaughters are there. So it’s like the only place I can be nude is at work and it’s great.”

They’re doing whatever they can to promote this show. I get it, and we’re repeating it so it’s working. I’ll watch the first episode, but if it’s the same as it was before it’s not like I’ll be watching it every week. It just was so hackneyed. I guess that’s perfect for Ashton.

Oh and Demi Moore, Ashton’s wife, recently tweeted a photo of her bare back. It may have been a homage to Ashton’s appearance on Two and a Half Men, or she may have been desperate for some attention and positive affirmation.