Jessica Biel flaunts her budget “baby bump” & she’s still with Justin Timberlake


These photos of Jessica Biel and her really cheap-looking fake bump are making me angry, and they’re cracking me up. It’s rage-laughter. Like when I’m writing a Linnocent story, there’s a lot of rage-laughter. Okay, first of all, Biel is filming scenes for New Year’s Eve, the sequel (-ish) to Valentine’s Day, in what will hopefully be a continuing theme of holiday romantic comedies until we get to Arbor Day, Grandparents’ Day, and of course, Flag Day. Biel has come back to her Valentine’s Day character, who is know knocked up, I guess. By Seth Meyers, it would seem. I guess Seth and Jessica got pulled in for some additional reshoots… I wonder why? Is it because Jessica is a terrible actress? No, I bet it was just the lighting or some technical issue. It was definitely not that the director took one look at his final cut and realized that his “star” gave an awful performance.

So, what’s so funny and rage-inducing about these photos? Look at how cheap her bump is! It’s basically just a pillow from Walmart. I don’t think Biel even strapped it on or anything. And it’s not like Biel is wearing padding anywhere else either, because who cares about authenticity or Method acting, I guess. It’s much easier to stick a bump on a chick and hope that the bump-hungry masses are appeased.

I will say this – the cheap bump goes along with the cheap outfit, which is the funny part. Biel is a lot like Jennifer Aniston – their publicists mandate to every media outlet that the words “beautiful” and “gorgeous” must appear in descriptions of their clients, as if mere repetition will make it so. It’s not that either Aniston or Biel are unattractive – both have strong features that can go from lovely to odd. But when you look at photos like this, something becomes clear: it’s suspiciously easy to make Jessica Biel look like hell. Once you strip away with makeup and the cute clothes and put her in some not-flattering lighting, you see that she just looks kind of average and uninteresting.

Speaking of average and uninteresting, Biel is still with Justin Timberlake, of course. Even after his alleged dong showed up on Mila Kunis’s hacked phone – I mean, he denies that it’s his dong, but whatever. Why doesn’t Biel let him go? I have no idea.





Photos courtesy of Fame.

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50 Responses to “Jessica Biel flaunts her budget “baby bump” & she’s still with Justin Timberlake”

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  1. the original bellaluna says:

    Could they not afford a more realistic-looking fake? Or even a sympathy belly? Cheap, cheap, cheap!

  2. Delta Juliet says:

    That looks like a disgusting beer gut. And I was pregnant twice and managed to never have my belly hanging out like that. It looks trashy!

  3. Joe's Mom says:

    That “bump”, if you want to call it that looks like a fat-butted 2 year old strapped under her shirt, butt-side out. I’ve had 4 kids, and my stomach never looked like that, with the “crack” and the droop. That looks more like a severely overweight stomach where the fat rolls down and has cellulite. When there’s a baby in there, it’s solid, no loose fat hanging. Geez. What a gross mess.

  4. bagladey says:

    She is “average and uninteresting”.

  5. Liz says:

    I saw a blind gossip, that most people thought was Biel, that said that Timberlake is actually her beard.

    Now, if true, there’s something depressing about the fact that (1) she feels she can’t come out and (2) she thinks she’s famous enough for someone to care.

    But it’s slightly less pathetic than thinking she stays with a cheating doucebag out of some pathetic inability to stand up for herself. At least with that rumour, there’s some point to her actions.

  6. Reece says:

    Ewww! That is actually turning my stomach.
    Glad I never wasted my time on that other movie definitely going to on this one.

  7. brin says:

    @Joe’s Mom….lol, I thought the same thing….look’s like a kid’s butt!

  8. Quest says:

    That’s one cheap ass fake looking bump she has on for her reprisal role…says alot for the show itself.

  9. Kim says:

    That is the worst fake baby bump ever. It just looks like a blob of fat.

  10. Firecracker says:

    That’s disgusting! At least pull the t-shirt over it, even though it’s fake!

    Yeah, Liz I read that too, JT being her beard. The thing that I don’t get is, why would JT want to do that? Maybe they are good friends and they have an agreement?

  11. Mew says:

    Looks like beer gut. Hilarious!

  12. Bonfire Beach says:

    @ Liz –
    I heard those rumors about her several years ago. There were also pictures of her kissing another girl. If she is a lesbian, why she needs to hide it is beyond me.

  13. Quack! says:

    Dammit, i don’t come on this site for a coupla days and you have like a thousand new posts.How am i meant to catch up!
    And that thing shes wearing looks nasty!

  14. DavidBowie says:

    DeNiro is in this drivel too!?!?!

  15. Coucou says:

    Birth control for Justin.

  16. Kimbob says:

    @Liz & @Firecracker, I’ve always wondered if that were the case (JT’s her beard). I say this because when they both first started going out, they were photographed (maybe a video, too) of standing somewhere at some event, both of them very near each other. And, this girl standing next to Jessica reached down to Jessica’s butt & like patted and/or squeezed it. In the photo, from where JT was standing, he didn’t “catch” this. I remember when I saw that, I thought to myself, hmmm…something’s really fishy here. There was something about that scene that really wreaked of homosexuality.

  17. silken_floss says:

    I had two pregnancies and never did my belly ever look like that. Try again Hollywood *smh*

  18. dahlia1947 says:

    It looks funny hanging out like that! I’m thinking of that blind item too.

  19. Tuppiv says:

    Hmm I’m wondering if it’s like you mentioned, the “belly” just isn’t strapped on. If you look at the picture where you can see the profile of her boobs, they are sagging WAY too low to be natural. Pretty sure it’s like a fake belly/boob combo and she’s just letting it hang.
    It does look really disgusting, even knowing it’s fake.

  20. Original Bee says:

    @kimbob I remember the photo of Jessica getting her butt squeezed by another woman. I’ve never understood why that story and photo didn’t get more attention. If Justin is her beard then their “relationship” would make perfect sense.

  21. Sara says:

    I just did some IMDB investigating… Kutcher and Biel were both in Valentine’s Day and they’re both in this… but as different characters! Lame.

    It seems that Lea Michele is this movie’s Taylor Swift though: the cute little girl that obviously only decided to be in the movie once they told her she’d get to sing.

  22. Tierra says:

    Im with the band wagon of ppl that think he’s her beard. If it is true she should just come out already, it might actually make her a little more interesting.

  23. serena says:

    I’m not a fan of Jessica but you’re just harsh and hateful. Even dressed up like hell and with that horrible fake bump she still is beautiful. She can’t act and that’s a fact but to me she came across as genuine, simple-dumb and beautiful.

  24. Cerulean says:

    I remember the butt photo. It seemed odd to me. I think the beard story is true. Maybe it allows him to have private relationships hidden under this one.

  25. ladybert62 says:

    In a word: GROSS!

  26. lucy2 says:

    Terrible fake bump! Funny.

    They’re STILL filming this movie? Good Lord, it probably took less time to do Gone with the Wind.

  27. Lucinda says:

    I dunno. I think she’s very pretty. Maybe even more so because of the girl-next-door thing. Although I’m not a huge fan of her plastic surgery. But, what celebrity doesnt have a bearding rumor going around about them? Of course she could be a lesbian but then what’s the point of the breaking up/getting back together? Publicity? Maybe, but I think there are much stronger contenders for that title.

  28. Happy21 says:

    I think the bump looks awful but from what I gather, she is in labour for some of the film so perhaps we don’t see much of said bump.

    I loved Valentine’s Day. It was such a cute movie. Not academy award material but filled with cute, romantic stories. I’m looking very forward to seeing this movie when it comes out.

    I’m not a Biel fan. Never have been but I’m not a hater either. I also believe she is average and uninteresting.

  29. normades says:

    Never seen “maternity” look worse. Def looks more like a beer gut!

  30. Long time fan of this site.

    I briefly went to college with Biel — she was at Tufts for a year. We were in the same extracurricular dance group. She is much better looking in person and her body is pretty ridiculous.

    Obviously that was a few years ago, but I don’t believe the beard rumor. One of her choreographers wanted her to kiss a girl during his routine to sex it up a bit and she was pissed. She didn’t want to do it.

  31. DB says:

    If you look at the pictures, it is pretty clear that most are shots taken while on the set but not being filmed. In the scene where she is in the carriage thing she has the shirt pulled down. People seem awfully harsh toward her. For one thing she doesn’t have control over her wardrobe, but yet many of you appear to be blaming her. I have a feeling that no matter what she wore or did some of you would not give her a break. No wonder so many young girls have issues about their bodies. Too many women are critical of other women, nitpicking everything.

  32. Firecracker says:

    DB, this is a gossip site. We are here having fun, lighten up!

  33. Jilliterate says:

    To me, that blind is as good as solved, now. When people were guessing Biel as the lesbian, I wasn’t convinced because I thought JT was with Mila Kunis. Now it fits, if he’s still sort-of bearding for Biel while shacking up with Kunis on the side.

  34. zesty says:

    “Once you strip away with makeup and the cute clothes and put her in some not-flattering lighting, you see that she just looks kind of average and uninteresting.”

    Um, that statement could probably describe a good portion of the overall population too.

  35. Dhavy says:

    I always thought she was fug, cute clothes or not (she’s all teeth)

  36. j says:

    Yeah the overall population doesn’t call themselves too pretty to get serious movie roles.

    She is with him because he keeps her relevant nobody gave two shits about her after they broke up. He can have all the chicks he wants on the side she is never gonna leave him.

  37. Firecracker says:

    Do any of you ever look at celebrities without makeup? I love those! Actually I think Jessica is one of the better looking ones without makeup.

  38. Jordan says:

    I don’t know what to think about these two. If JT is her beard (and if he is not gay), the only reason I see him doing that is if it was for family. Wasn’t it his lesbian cousin who grabbed Biel’s butt in that picture? Either way, I believe their break-up was for publicity for his movie and once over, back to bearding/miserable looking pictures of these two.

  39. anon1 says:

    Didn’t she and Chris Evans live together/have a relationship that lasted 2 years?

  40. Tiffany says:

    I don’t get all the Biel hate. She is GORGEOUS, first of all. She might not be the world’s greatest actress, but she is decent(which can’t be said about Alba, etc.). I think hating on her because her fake belly doesn’t look perfect in between takes is such a stretch that it is absurd. People must REALLY need a reason to hate on her if you are going to that length.

  41. Kath & Kim says:

    Beautiful woman; and the bump is probably covered up when they’re shut.

    Justin’s such a girl, pretty much all women are too beautiful for him.

  42. snackysnaxx says:

    Those boobs are below her elbows!

    What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

    If we don’t get some support soon, people will think we’re nuts!

  43. JaneWonderfalls says:

    Maybe Beyonce let her borrow her’s.

  44. bighotrod says:

    they could have used nicole kidman’s fake baby bump. the one she wore when she pretended to be pregnant with her first daughter (tuesday? thursday? whatever day she was named) by that gay australian country singer with the coke problem. aren’t they having a second baby (built)?

  45. silkworm says:

    I think she looks pretty here, despite the awful fake bump and casual clothing.

  46. smh says:

    what is that fake belly i can’t even

  47. Marianne says:

    That is the most outrageously bad belly ever. Unless somehow in the movie, it’s supposed to be fake.

  48. Mare says:

    @ Firecracker -DB, this is a gossip site. We are here having fun, lighten up!
    That is not excuse for horrible and mean comments. Just because this is gossip or celebitchy, doesn’t make it right to write mean comments about other people, because that is what they are, people, not some emotionless creatures. Can’t imagine being Jessica Biel and reading an article about myself (from someone who has never met me) and read how boring, average and uninteresting I am, how my boyfriend is cheating on me (with no proof), how desperate I am (from someone who knows nothing about my relationship), how my clothes are horrible (while I’m filming a movie!!), how I’m a horrible actress because my fake movie bump is bad and I don’t wear padding to look fatter. It’s ridiculous. And to label it “gossip” doesn’t make it right.

  49. Joe Shmoe says:

    OMG! Juno’s on steroids!

  50. Claire78 says:

    The whole Justin/Jessica relationship is a bit odd – but I thought his relationship with Cameron didn’t seem right either. Sorry not about Jessica – but yes Bigotrod – I always thought Nicole had faked the pregnancy and that there was something about Keith Urban – he loves his hair straightener way too much!