Michelle Monaghan has one of the worst cases of bangs trauma ever


Last night, some B-listers came out for the Whitney Museum Gala. The event isn’t really important, because no one could pay attention to anything other than Michelle Monaghan’s terrible bangs trauma. I know. I get it. Some of the (ig)noble bangs defenders are going to come in and start yelling that not all bangs are created equal and it’s unfair to paint all trauma with the same hate-filled brush. But seriously, can anyone defend Michelle’s hair at this point?

Remember when Michelle was supposed to “happen”? She got some significant parts and then… not much. This year she’s in Machine Gun Preacher with Gerard Butler, playing the “wife” role. That’s all she ever gets, really. I feel like I shouldn’t even know who she is. I’ve only made a mental note of her recently because she gave herself bangs for the publicity tour for MGP. And now it’s just getting worse and worse.


I should mention this – I had thick, overgrown bangs like this. When I was 9 years old. I’m still traumatized by the effort and time it took to grow them out, and how bad my hair looked while said bangs were being grown out. Do you bangs-happy ladies out there not think about that? Do you not think about how bad it’s going to look when you’re growing out your trauma?



I’m also including a photo of Bar Refaeli, who was also at the event. I just can’t get on the Bar bandwagon. She doesn’t have the face of a supermodel. She has the face of a Sears model. Bangin’ body, though. And I like that Marchesa dress on her.


Photos courtesy of WENN.

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26 Responses to “Michelle Monaghan has one of the worst cases of bangs trauma ever”

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  1. embertine says:

    I’m never growing my bangs out, because I look like an Amish gone bad without them – my forehead is just too high. But I agree that having bangs so long and thick that you risk pinkeye every time you blink is neither healthy nor attractive.

  2. brin says:

    Agreed…she could swiffer the floor with them! The dress is awful, too.

  3. weeble says:

    I don’t see the big deal about the bangs, particularly since I really don’t know who this woman is. She looks like a regular mom you see in line at Target. But since her hair is apparently an issue, those horrid tendrils on the side bring more trauma than her bangs.

  4. leaverill says:

    I’m not a fan of Michelle “monobrow”
    Monohan, eversince i watched the moview with McDreamy. I’ve pulled off bangs before, but grew tired of them briefly. She doesn’t have the face to pull them off.

  5. Passingby says:

    I really like it! It frames her face very well! She’s cute!

  6. lucy2 says:

    Awful hair, awful dress.

  7. francesca says:

    I think her bangs are perfectly fine! And as for growing them out, it’s no harder to grow out thicker bangs than lighter ones. She can pin them to the side, pin them back, and with them as long as that, she could very shortly tuck them behind her ears.

    I think your childhood bangs trauma has scarred you for life, Kaiser!

  8. aenflex says:

    call me crazy but i think they look good on her…

  9. LadyJane says:

    I like it.

  10. Carrie says:

    She’s so pretty without them…..Mission Impossible…4 was it? She looked awesome in that.

    I had a side sweepy fringe (UK bangs) and I loved it but it was a total ass in the wind, one day my hairdresser cut it into a total bangs trauma, I’ve since gone through the growing out stage and it was painful…never again!

  11. sasa says:

    I agree with Weeble. Those wisps to the side of her head are the real trauma here. Ack!

    The bangs are too long but other than that I don’t find anything worth discussing about them. She looks just like she usually does: a reasonably pretty, willowy woman. Not outstanding in any way but pleasant to look at.

  12. clare says:

    The bangs are just too heavy and thick for her face.
    Pretty woman, but I’m not a fan.

  13. Peta says:

    As someone with a fivehead and bad never-matching eyebrows (walked into a table at 6 and had stitches right through my left eyebrow forever ruining any hope of nice matching eyebrows) a fringe is something I have and need.
    However I will admit Michelle’s is a tad too long and little bit too strong.

  14. Kaboom says:

    Bad, bad bangs!

  15. k says:

    The dress is the real atrocity. So glad you agree with me about Bar. She’s so sub-par. I don’t even think her body is that great (for a supermodel).

  16. carrie says:

    worse than her hair,the real trouble is her dress (probably the worst i saw since a month)

  17. JulieM says:

    OK OK, I’m a bangs/fringe defender because I have to wear them, but these are a little on the heavy side.

  18. podzol says:

    The bang trauma is on par with Rose Byrne’s blunt cut circa X-Men 1st class premiere. Too harsh!

    And Bar’s dress is all kinds of hideous. I’m not surprised it was Marchesa, either. When will they stop making ice skater couture?! What a disservice to beautiful women.

  19. Sue says:

    SHe looks so much like Lara FLynn Boyle, it’s scary! I am that literally… LFB scares me. I can’t watch her.

  20. Amy says:

    The bangs are bad, but I’m honestly more horrified by her dress (and budget makeup). I like her a lot (even if she didn’t really “happen”). She’s just so personable and cute in movies…

  21. Mikki says:

    I think the dress is more heinous than the bangs – why wear a dress that makes you look like you’re sporting a baby bump under a dust ruffle??

  22. KLO says:

    She’s very pretty. But she’s still at her most prettiest with her normal brunette haircolor and with the hair out of her nice-looking face. I hope this too shall pass.

  23. newhouf says:

    She looks just like Laura Flynn Boyle! When I first saw the photos, that is who I thought you were talking about!!

  24. pinns says:

    To ask a silly question perhaps, but where does the American(?) word “bangs” come from? It’s such a strange word for a hairstyle….
    In the UK we call that a ‘fringe’, and you can kind of see how they arrived at calling it that, but how did “bangs” come about??
    Although it is quite descriptive when you look at Michelle here though….

  25. Cerulean says:

    These are bad. Really really bad.

    Never understood Bar. She’s so nothing to me. I don’t even recognize her she’s so blah.

  26. mamakowalska says:

    Not everyone has a forehead that is attractive. I personally have a giant scar down the middle of mine from a childhood accident. I LOVE MY BANGS!!! and I LOVE THEM ON OTHERS!!!!!!!Let us hide what we gotta hide in peace!!!