This is just a quick post before I head out. Ashton Kutcher posted a video to something called “Chime.In” which is probably some new internet thing that Ashton is heavily invested in and he’s now trying to make it “happen” by giving his exclusive, douchey statement on it so that a million new people will “join”. Because Ashton is such a maverick! Anyway, no one can figure out to embed the actual video, but here are some highlights from his little douche-soliloquy:
He says, in part:
“I just wanted to open up a little dialogue on the state of honesty. The state of truth. The status of truth as it pertains to literature and media… Publishers (once) held great scrutiny over what they were willing to print because their reputation was on the line. When the cost structure comes down on printing… the level of honesty of literature starts to plummet… I started thinking about that in relation to media and social media today where the threshold to actually have literature printed and distributed… is zero dollars… thereby there is no gatekeeper of the truth…”
“We are our own editors, we are our own publishers and we are our own printers. Therefore, people can b**tardise the truth in any way, shape or form that they want and spread that around the world… A lie can travel halfway around the world before the truth can leave someone’s lips…
“I was thinking that we really have to take it upon ourselves to instil a level of honesty… in the works in the media that we create and share with one another… and be certain that we are doing our own diligence that what we are saying is for the benefit of another.”
[From Starpulse]
Ashton is such a dumb bitch. Here’s the situation: he wants to be able to bitch and moan about all of the “lies” the tabloids spread, but he’s not ever going to sue any of the tabloids because all of the stories they’re printing are true (or “true enough” to withstand a lawsuit). Personally, I think this is part of his defense, his rationale to Demi Moore. “They’re lying about me! The media is so irresponsible! I can’t believe they’re accurately reporting my actions, and publishing photo evidence and interviews with the all of the 20-something skanks I boned! BAD MEDIA!!!” Here’s my message to Ashton: Sue the tabloids OR STFU and GTFO.
Photos courtesy of Fame.
Dude, you’re Charlie Sheen’s replacement, and a jackass. Don’t act like your some great crusader for all that’s good and true in the world, just because you got caught being a dog.
“Ashton is such a dumb bitch.” Yup.
Pathetic attempt at misdirection. This is a red herring, nothing more than an attempt to draw our attention from his wandering (unprotected) dong. JACK-ASS-HAT. Ugh. He’s such a douche.
IF I saw him I would wrinkle up my nose and walk in the opposite direction. How does he still have fans?!?!?!
The only thing he ever did was make trucker hats “happen”, which I could frankly do without.
Shut up Ashton.
I love the title of this post! LOL!
I wish he would just go away. Whiney little b!tch.
And it’s ironic that he’s crying about the press having no integrity when he has none himself. Assclown…
Ya – that BAD MEDIA! They are only reporting about two alleged affairs . . . when we know that’s just a fraction of the running total.
That’s just poor investigative journalism 😉 BAD MEDIA.
I like Ashton. If he is cheating on his wife that is between the two of them, and she doesn’t seem to mind at this point.
ITA, Kaiser. Thanks for a great day of posts…even if it ended with a wimp-er.
Is the hobo-Jesus look for the show or is it voluntary on his part?
Was he trying to come off…smart? I got the feeling he was wanting us to learn something from what he said. Ow, my head hurts just a little now.
He looks so much better with shorter hair and clean shaven.
I like Ashton. If you can like Angelina, I like Ashton! Both are cheaters and homewreckers….
The tabloids are right and the stories are true; kutcher is a douche bag forever. Case closed.
Kutcher’s whole tour de force rise in Hollywood was the show “Punk’d” where he was dishonest as the driving impetus of the show’s plot.
Hypocrisy anyone?
Funny how he doesn’t directly address any of the accusations against him and drones on like the pseudo intellectual that he is.
I was so hot for him in that Las Vegas movie with Camryn Diaz. In that movie he was so beautiful and his body, wow. He was a vision. But now I just find him a whoredog. Two dumbos in the span of a year. I wonder how many more.
Hope Demi divorces him, hope his t.v. show tanks hard, hope he disappears FOREVER.
The status of truth as it pertains to literature and media “but not as it pertains to me, because then I would have to come clean about what an asshole douche-nozzle I really am.”
That’s how the sentence should have ended.
“Douche-soliloquy” is GOLDEN!
He really is as dumb as Kelso, isn’t he? (Or did they make Kelso as dumb as him?)
Conundrum.
DOUCHE SOLILOQUY!!!!!
perfection.
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wish he’d get caught in pics with a cig in his hand. He’s a heavy smoker, and he hates getting caught. His hand in that first pic (dig the shirt) totally looks like it’s missing his ever-present butt.
When you ENGAGE the media like he does (wasn’t he in a contest with someone to see who could get more twitter followers?) you have to take the good with the bad.
STFU, douchebag.
Oh shut up, Kelso!
funny that they censored “bastardize.”
not a curse word, y’all.
13.whitedaisy:
October 21st, 2011 at 3:50 pm
Kutcher’s whole tour de force rise in Hollywood was the show “Punk’d” where he was dishonest as the driving impetus of the show’s plot.
Hypocrisy anyone?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was just going to bring that up. How is he attempting to take any high ground about media intrusiveness when Punk’d was all about preying on celebrity frailty and humiliating them. And this humiliation continues, thanks to syndication.
Meanwhile, he continues to wear his wedding ring and not sue the tabloids or the skanks. Punk’d wasn’t a one person operation, but him taking any kind of action, including starting divorce proceeding, is… so no BOOHOO for Ashton.
JaneWonderfalls, sorry, but no, Angelina is definitely not a cheater or a homewrecker. Unless you meant to say Aniston is a homewrecker? That we can agree on.
“I like Ashton. If you can like Angelina, I like Ashton! Both are cheaters and homewreckers…”
Janewonderfalls, WTF? This post has nothing to do with Angelina, so why don’t you STFU and stay on topic about Ashton Kutcher.
OK.. we know that tabloids lie week after week. We see it with many celebs. lies after lies and they don’t sue because they are lies and most of them just figure that when the tabloids scream pregnant, break up, or whatever and it NEVER happens then a thinking public should put two and two together
the thing with this Ashton cheating mini drama is there is an actual person to look at on the cover saying this is true. NOW it is one thing for and Unnamed source but to have the actual person. If that was the case and she was lying then I would sue her ass until the cows came home. But he and Demi are being quiet. Perhaps they are following the example of Fergie and Josh. They just kept on and the rumor died and people forgot. But Ashton was the one saying before that he was going to sue. Then nothing.
So I don’t understand the strategy. Maybe they have agreed to keep quiet. But they sure were tweeting like mad last time.
He needs to STFU and go on. He is making Charlie Sheen look like a WINNER.
The producers of “Two and a Half Men” must be wringing their hands with anxiety — they’ve managed to pick another winner with an increasingly messy personal life.
Ashton Kutcher is a complete and utter douche. Run, Demi, run!
Say it with me, “Winning!”
Just because i don’t live in the us? That’s some straight up BS!
I don’t think Josh cheated on Fergie Ferg. Shut up. Let me believe. Lourve him.
Ashton, shut up.
I would think that Demi Moore would be incredibly humiliated to be associated iwth him, and that was before the cheating! He is loathsome and moronic. I don’t know how or why she does it.
Ashton is such an idiot. He is obviously pissed that he got busted porking other women and if he could have hidden his infidelities, he would have. But it serves him right. He uses media when he wants to [twitter and twitter pic] to practically invite the world to gawk at his nerdy countenance and then complains.
STFU Ashton.
What this “noted douche” (love it!) doesn’t know about the history of publishing and journalism could fill volumes.
I regret calling him a douche bc I feel it besmirches the hard working vag, but seriously,this guy is a total asshole and should be kicked to the curb. Loser.
Jesus look alike alert!
Whenever a celebrity starts looking like Jesus they’re acting like the devil.
I’m just going to call it “going
Manson Lite” from now on.
He’s only pissed he got put on public blast.
(And don’t pick on JaneWonderfalls – she’s obviously a little daft. But aren’t we all?)
fdsffsdddddddddddddddddddddd
Like both of them but Ashton is really playing up and it is looking ridiculous.
Bring back Charlie Sheen! At least Sheen is intelligent and entertaining.
Ashton: Wow, such big words put together in big word sentences from someone who appears to only comprehend Dr. Suess…
“And Ashton, with his cheatin’ peen ice cold from the blow,
stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? Marriage came without directions. It came without explanations.
He came without intelligence, integrity, and lots of imperfections.
And he puzzled and puzzled ’till his “puzzler” was sore.
Then Ashton thought of something he hadn’t before.
What if marriage, he thought, doesn’t include a whore…?
What if marriage, perhaps, means a little bit more…”
It’s fascinating how the people who complain about the media are always the biggest famewhores.
Shut up & stop hurting Demi!
Somebody throw him a chunk of cheese to go with that stale whine.
TRANS: I am also boning Rupert Murdoch.
He sounds like some of my former drinking buddies who considered themselves self taught intellectuals too smart to go to college. They all tried to sound super intelligent and philosophical but usually just sounded like they were trying too hard.
Except the least pretentious guy, he was probably too smart for college because he ended up making a ton of money developing software. They rest of them are working for their parents or delivering pizzas. I could see Ashton doing that if he weren’t an actor.
You can see even from his Twitter bio that he thinks he’s this brilliant, profound guy with deep thoughts. What he’s blathering on about doesn’t even make any sense. As thesuperficial said, what he means is that he can’t believe that the media is paying the sluts he f*cked to take pictures and sell details.
On an intellectual level, he is actually absolutely right, particularly about the bastardization of truth in this new age of information. As entertaining as it all is, we have to be smart enough to know at least half of what we read about these people is completely fabricated to sell a paper, push a site, get clicks, and try to take it with a grain of salt until we know the absolute truth. Sometimes these fabricated lies are not only not to the benefit of another, but would shatter their livelihood. Which is awful, really.
It really is the only way to maintain any integrity in the media, anymore. It’s what I always try to do.
Well said, Ashton.
🙂
#41 – peachy: Loved it. Those lines should be superimposed in a cartoon caption above his head in that picture of him. He looks suitably un-intellectual and puzzled in that photo!
@Angel I agree Ashton has a point. But I think what matters more than *what* he’s saying is *why* he’s saying it. And that makes him look even more douchy.
@Peachy! Bravo!
Listen, Kelso – you can’t just pick and choose when you want the media to follow you. You can’t expect to court them for the projects you’re pushing, and them push them away. You should be thankful they’re interested in your dumb ass at all.
He really had a good thing with Demi – she is beautiful, supportive – you had the respect of her daughters (and more importantly, they looked to you as a parental figure). You threw it away for some random, meaningless sex. Thanks for treating those girls’ mom with respect and providing them with such a good example (rolls eyes).
He’s never gonna find anyone like Demi. I hope she kick his immature butt to the curb for good. She needs to find her an older, more mature man who KNOWS what a great catch she is and worships her.
Ashton is a stupid little boy. I hope Bruce Willis goes yippee-eye-ki-yea on his dumb butt.
PS – he’s always reminded me of a golden retriever – beautiful but dumb as a rock!
How is this clown still relevant? His 15 minutes should have been up when T70S was cancelled.
I know he has that long hair for his character right? But with that video and the hair he just looks so out of it and terrible.
I thought this was an interesting item in Fox News:
http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2011/10/21/ashton-kutcher-january-jones-mum-on-rumors-is-father-her-infant-child/
Wouldn’t that be something??
@the original bellaluna: I love “Douche-soliloquy”. Can I use it? It’s too good not to use.
His post is pseu-intellectual at best. We have always been our own watch dogs. You need to double check facts or face the chance you are being lied to. The ease of print has given everyone a voice which is a good thing unlike the days before where only the rich could afford it so they controlled the perception of reality. Is alot of shit being printed now? Sure, but no one believes anything in the enquirer anyway. He’s only making himself look guiltier with this kind of a post.
So, my theory is that this is a veiled response to the rumour that he’s January Jones’s baby daddy. The timing of this video’s appearance is right, given it’s a new rumour. Possibly that rumour is false, but if he denied that alone, he’d be confirming everything else by omission. So, he’s not specifically saying what’s a lie and hoping people will reach the conclusion he’s talking about more than he actually is.
Jay,
I concur.
His main problem is his image which he crafted and worked hard to establish himself as a good guy.
someone who will be a great husband, who would love and appreciate his wife and is a great family man.
All his movies he is doing his best to be the “good guy”.
In interviews he made it clear how devoted he is to Demi, how much he loves her and treats her and her daughters right.
He could have been a dog and people wouldn’t make such a big deal about, but he made sure his image is something completely different.
You can’t cheat on your girlfriend and wife for years, including Vegas professionals and then whine when the media exposes you.
I am possitive that that is what he is trying to get Demi to believe.
People liked him and he remained relevant, because he sold himself as someone more deep, that would fall in love with an older woman, and have this wonderful love story with her.
Especially, if she is Demi the icon who was much more famous and successful than him.
I guess he lied to her and it wasn’t quite the “open relationship” if that is his defense.
“If I say stuff about the media and stuff and be like whoa they’re totally shady, then people might be like, ‘yeah they so are’ and then they’ll forget I’ve been caught screwing around on my wife and that I suck majorly, in every possible way. God, I’m smart.” *long deep hit from the bong*
–This is how I visualize his little rant coming about. I agree with posters above that what he’s saying doesn’t lack some legitimacy, but the reason for why he’s saying it is transparent as glass and just makes him seem like a bigger dick.
Kutcher, your just an actor…not Gandhi! Also, here’s a novel idea…if you don’t want to be talked about, get out of show business! What a dumb _ss.
YOU tell em Kaiser!!!
I agree 100%!!!!
Their relationship has been so odd right from the start. Didn’t she that their love is so deep that they are beyond fighting? Ugh. Now, he’s acting like a jackass and she doesn’t know if she can “afford” to let him go.
I wonder if he is January Jones’ baby daddy haha I guess we will find out when the kid grows up and makes lame ass movies, punks people and whines about the media.
I happily posted ALL WEEKEND long on Ashton’s new (stupid) Chime.In account. Couldn’t resist after seeing his ridiculous puffy vlog regarding the state of honesty in the media. Today, logged in and the good folks at Chime.In deactivated my account. Can’t a woman speak her mind? It’s called CHIME IN for God’s sake! xo JC