Linnocent sees herself as a Hollywood player, still believes she’ll win an Oscar


This time last week, we were hearing about Linnocent and how she crashed her way into the post-premiere party for J. Edgar. According to Page Six’s report, Linnocent name-dropped everyone she ever thought of smoking crack with to get in the door, and once inside the party, she began acting “aggressive and random” and tried to get an audience with either Clint Eastwood or Leonardo DiCaprio. This week, The Enquirer has even more details about Linnocent’s party-crashing, and some new information on just how delusional The Cracken really is: she still believes she’s going to win an Oscar someday. Dumb Cracken.

An insider tells The Enquirer that Lindsay Lohan still believes she’s destined to win an Oscar: “Lindsay is clearly living on a different planet. Her life is in tatters and no one in Hollywood will even take her calls. But she still sees herself as a player, and she’s telling friends that her career is going better than ever. She’s even talking about finding a role that will make her dream of winning an Oscar come true!”

In a bid to pursue that dream, LL crashed the Nov. party for J. Edgar. “Lindsay tried to march up to Leo DiCaprio and Clint Eastwood to discuss collaborating with them on a future project,” the insider divulged. “Their team held Lindsay at bay, but everyone at the party was horrified at her behavior. At this point, the best gig she can get is a nude pictorial for Playboy – and she almost blew that!”

Hugh Hefner ordered Lindsay to do a reshoot for the pictorial after seeing her first photo shoot. “It’s a bad sign for your career when you can’t even do a nude layout right,” sniped the insider.

“But even with her numerous legal problems, her dwindling finances and her family issues, Lindsay is still telling friends that her best career days are ahead of her,” said the insider. “She just isn’t living in reality.”

[From The Enquirer, print edition]

Is it sad or funny? I choose to think it’s funny, just because I can’t find any sympathy or pity for Linnocent at this point – I save my sympathy for her past and future victims, and for Ali Lohan. The Cracken is a dumbass, she’s violent, she’s aggressive and she’s willfully delusional. Sure, her parents had something to do with it – but she’s an adult now, and has been for years. We’re past the point where she’s just a mixed up young woman who just needs to get on the right track. This is who she is – an arrogant crackhead who forces her way into parties and tries to cozy up to Clint Eastwood, for God’s sake.

Oh, and Linnocent’s lawsuit against Pitbull took a turn for the worse this week – Pitbull’s lawyers filed paperwork slamming Linnocent as a resident of California, which I guess means that her lawsuit – filed in New York – has no standing and needs to go federal. Linnocent messing with the feds? Ruh-roh!




Photos courtesy of WENN.

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134 Responses to “Linnocent sees herself as a Hollywood player, still believes she’ll win an Oscar”

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  1. NM9005 says:

    And the Oscar for Most Delusional goes to: Lindsay Lohan!

  2. Addie says:

    I know most of you are experts in all things Linnocent (I kind of dabble here and there)

    Is there any chance she can make a big comeback, I mean is it all delusions or is there even a slight possiblity?

    I really would like to know.

  3. Kit says:

    Is it still possible to find a flattering photo of this woman? She looks wrecked in every single one

  4. Matie says:

    You find the worst photos @celebitchy hahaha, lately she’s been looking better IMO.

  5. brin says:

    Well, Oscars are often awarded to actresses who play whores and drug addicts but Linnocent isn’t acting, that’s her.
    And I love that Pitbull is fighting back!!!

  6. Bedge says:

    Can’t …. Look …. At ….. Header … Picture …. Anymore. Or the punk furry jacket one. Pls, pls, stop.

  7. Bedge says:

    Pink! Not punk! Lol

  8. jen says:

    Bai Ling has a better chance of winning an Oscar at this point!

  9. Nanz says:

    Can not believe she’s 25.

  10. Kaboom says:

    @2 If someone manages to extract that giant bug from her a**. She does have talent. And Hollywood loves redemption stories, see RDJ or Mickey Rourke.

  11. Quest says:

    “locked up like Lindsey Lohan”….love, love, love that line and it is so on point.

    Linnocent brain is so fried typical delusions of grandeur

  12. Pyewacket says:

    Unless the Academy makes a new category”Best Cracked Out Performance by a Has-Been and Criminal”, LiLo’s chances of an Oscar are nil.

    Besides, that voice of hers, who could stand listening to it for two hours in a movie. It is worse than nails on a chalk board!

  13. Sadie says:

    It is Hollywood, weirder things have happend.

  14. mapdoe says:

    Ahh to dream…it’s ok, I’m still holding onto the dream that I will some day be the wife of an amazing loving rockstar this and/or winning a jackpot lotto over $200 million dollars. The millions won’t cheat or bring me home an std but damn you rockstars!!!!

    keep the dream alive crackie! lolz

  15. jamie says:

    Wow, that top pic. Just, wow. Never fails to shock me.

  16. Neelyo says:

    The closest she’ll get to the Oscars is the 2013 In Memoriam montage. And yes I know, 2013 is being optimistic.

  17. yt says:

    With her track record, it’s difficult to find a reason to feel sorry for her. Good for Pitbull for fighting her stupid lawsuit. It will bring her more bad publicity. Hmmm … when was the last time she had some good publicity that was not based on lies?

  18. margaritachum says:

    i never thought i’d be saying this but… go pitbull!

  19. BW says:

    She’s right. Her best years are ahead of her, but only if she pulls a Robert Downey, Jr. and gets herself sober and straight.

  20. Sue says:

    The 4th pic down is just too funny! Duck lips are cracking me up!

  21. Sue says:

    The 4th pic down is just too funny! Duck lips are cracking me up!

  22. RovingLass says:

    @10-Kaboom. I was thinking the same thing. She could make a comeback, if she doesn’t OD first. I still feel sorry for her. Hope she gets back on track soon.

  23. gee says:

    The reason she’s so delusional is because so many people say that she’s talented because she was in ONE funny movie.

    Also she’s a crackie.

  24. DetRiotgirl says:

    It’s shocking to me that Lindsay is a year younger than I am. She looks at least twenty years OLDER than me! What a terrifying PSA for why you shouldn’t do drugs… Smh

  25. grabbyhands says:

    Well, equally less deserving actors have gotten Oscars, so technically anything is possible.

    BUT-I don’t think so. In order to get the kind of role that could even put her in the running, she’ll need to do a major turnaround in her life and that just isn’t going to happen.

    People like to compare her to Robert Downey Jr in terms of the possibility of a comeback and I just never get that. They’re too different. RDJ Was aware of how much of a screw up he was the whole time. He also wasn’t a raging narcissist. Lindsay can’t even admit she’s a drunk and and addict without it being a soundbite to get her out of jail time. Sure, she’s surrounded by people that are telling her that she’s right and everyone else is wrong and jealous and out to get her. RDJ was too-any junkie with money and fame will have the same. But he had clarity about his life, even if it took a long time for him to conquer it for good. She doesn’t have even a glimpse of that and I doubt she ever will. And frankly, she’s just not that good of an actor, IMHO.

  26. Oreily says:

    Seriously, JHud has an Oscar, clearly they give those things out to anyone these days, so sure yeah why not give Lindsay one lol

  27. Seal Team 6 says:

    Just when I think no one is as delusional and as annoying as the Duggars and The Bieb, we have a Linnocent post, and everything is once again put into perspective.

    No SAG card, not insurable, ruined rep, criminal probation hanging over her head, oodles of outstanding civil lawsuits, looks ruined by drugs, a voice like a 50-year-old five pack a dayer…… her career is done.

  28. Seal Team 6 says:

    Jennifer Hudson absolutely deserved her Golden Globe and Oscar.

    I loathed her on AI, and she still annoys the eff out of me, but she earned those awards.

  29. Str8Shooter says:

    Man, all I can say is those airbrush people at Playboy have their hands full for this one. Yikes! She looks like a 40 year flight attendant from Newark.

  30. Courtney says:

    Lindsey is Delussional if she thinks she can win an oscar she wasted her talent on partying drinking and drugs. an Oscar used to actually mean a star was talented now it’s for the most part a vanity prize. compaire for example Joane Woodwards performance in The Three Faces Of Eve and Natalie Portmans in Black Swan you can’t go ape shit crazy in 25 minutes like Nina in BS supposedly does the Title Characeter in Three Faces Of Eve had a traumatic childhood which triggered her mental inballance

  31. Jade says:

    I’m sure she will be fine. She will get soon her dreamy role and will win Oscar. She deserve it. She is true survivor . Life was cruel for her but she is still around and doing great. She is young, beautiful and talented. And has the name which means a lot. It’s a brand that people simply desire. People need to give her chance. We can’t waste real talent like her. Love you LiLo be strong!

  32. Elizabeth says:

    Pitbull is starting to get more likeable all the time! And I am a 50 year old woman saying that. Like his music too!

  33. MarenGermany says:

    the moment she says she does not deserve an oscar is the moment we know she is a cured woman.

  34. Shelly says:

    She could only make a comeback if she gets clean and stays clean, gets a lot of therapy to help her stop being a jerk, learns some humility, and stops messing with her face. She can barely complete court requirements, so I highly doubt she can do any of these things. People aren’t just avoiding her because she’s a junkie. They are also avoiding her because she’s insane, not that nice, and people just don’t really like her.

  35. The Original Mia says:

    Delusional crackhead. It is funny because everyone, even my little 90 year old Granny, knows this chick has no career or shot at anything except a Razzie or the porn equivalent of a Razzie. Keep hope alive, Lindsay! Keep hope alive!

  36. Sillyone says:

    As for talent (not sure who said that to lazy to look back) what talent?? She was a child actress she got by on being a cute little freckled thing..Has she done anything I mean anything that shows us she has any acting talent as an adult? Nope not one thing, everything she has been in as an adult, “I Know Who Killed Me”, “Machete” etc. she absolutely sucked she has no acting talent..You didn’t see Meryl Streep, Helen Mirren or any of those classy ladies showing their lady bits in trashy magazines, why because they have talent!

    By the way she can’t even get by on the “cute little freckled thing” anymore? Her freckles now look like age spots and scabs (sun damage) and well hell just look at her yuck!

  37. wunder says:

    And the Crack Oscar goes to. . . .

  38. Boo says:

    Just once, I’d love to see a Linnocent post that doesn’t grudgingly acknowledge that her parents are shit and at least partially responsible for her behavior. At what point can the parents STOP being invoked as part of the reason for her problems? Can we just assume from here on out that we know she was raised by leeches, and stop blaming them? SHE still LOVES her LeechMother, so why do we excuse Lindsay for having a shit mother when Lindsay herself praises her? Drew Barrymore knew she had to ditch her own LeechMother in order to get better–she is a success story because she did the hard stuff necessary to get clean and healthy. Will we stop using the Bad Parents excuse for LL when she is 30? 40? 50? It’s enough already. She made herself who she is through her own choices. She can choose to be different, but she doesn’t. She has been legally an adult for SEVEN years. Most people her age have graduated from college (and many from grad school), found work, have real, honest to God relationships. She values nothing but attention, money, and fun, so unless she can get an Oscar for having fun and being photographed, praised, and paid, then it is not bloody likely to happen.

  39. Lindy says:

    So… A Crack Oscar. Is that a Croscar? Or an Oscrack?

  40. UnAttributableSpoon says:

    I just adore the header picture. It always makes me think that The Lohan is Sean Connery’s bastard daughter.

    Or she’s turned into some sort of erstaz-Connery look-alike!

    Wunder at #36: It’s the Crockster! Or the Crack-scar…maybe the Croscar? Hmm.

    Love it^.^

  41. ahoyhoy says:

    It’s sad she sees the Oscar as a way to fill the hole in her soul—what she uses the drugs for now.
    She wants acceptance & affirmation with that Oscar, but then what? She will still be herself, and an award can’t fill a hole that big for long!
    She needs SERIOUS in-patient rehab. Jebus!

    Btw, RDJ had already been nominated before he had to step away. He was/is a PHENOMENAL talent, and once he proved himself insurable, many wanted him in their films. LL just hasn’t ever proven herself as an adult actress (I mean as a non-child star; although I’m sure porn may be her next step).

  42. Dawning Red says:

    As it turns out, Lyndzie DOES have a job in the works which may indeed catapult her towards that Oscar she’s been craving. From the SyFy Network website:

    Through space and time, it’s Doctor Whore. Starring Lyndzie Lohan. Follow the adventures of a Meth Lord from Planet Gallif*ck as she explores the universe in her ship, the RETARDIS fighting the nastiest villains along the way with the help of her associates.

    Watch as Doctor Whore travels from planet to planet, sampling the best otherworldly sea jasper there is. Be amazed as the Doctor crashes multidimensional parties, doing lines with space aliens and then is thrown into interplanetary prisons every week, walking out of them seconds later armed only with her Sonic Vibrator. Be astonished as she searches for the galactic dealer known only as “Andrew” in male bathroom stalls across history.

    Cheer as Lyndzie scours the universe looking for new aliens to screw, and running into the Cybersexmen, the Sluteens, the Cosmic Dentists, the Universal Church of Scabies, the Process Servers of the Galaxy, The pan-dimensional Duck Callers, the Ice Lice, and her biggest enemies, the Dildoleks.

    Marvel as Doctor Whore travels far and wide with her associates with benefits, who include her sister Meth Lord Alley, with the amazing ability to slide under a door when trouble erupts, dealer to the stars “Vitamin” Chatwal, the Androgyne Samuel Ronsen, and the twelve-foot tall snail and former Rockette from planet Delusion, Deena, who leaves a trail of slime wherever she goes.

    Yes, it’s arrest warrents, drunk driving, rehabs, and lawsuits on a cosmic scale with Doctor Whore. Soon, you too will be yelling her catchphrase, “Move that planet! I’m Lyndzie Lohan!” On SyFy!

  43. OhMyMy says:

    Brava Boo. Spot on.

  44. Tuppiv says:

    Wait, she’s not even a SAG member anymore?? Wow.

    My favorite thing about LL posts, anywhere on the internet, is when she is introduced as, “Lindsay Lohan, star of Herbie Fully Loaded…”
    hahahah idk why, that just always cracks me up.

    Even if she got herself clean and on the right track, there is no way she’d ever get an Oscar. She doesn’t have a modicum of talent.

  45. Helena Bonham Handcart says:

    Dawning Red, you’re a genius.

  46. abbizmal says:

    Kaiser, you should feel honored, looks like Lindsey Crackhan reads your stories. See above. She was ONCE beautiful, before she efft up her face with drugs, alcohol and plastic surgery and ruined that gorgeous red hair. You can’t feel sorry for anyone with that inflated ego. I don’t.

  47. Lucky Charm says:

    HAha! The only oscar this crackhead could win is a coupon for a free Oscar Meyer hotdog at the local minor league baseball park!

    Edit: Dawning Red, YOU win the Oscar best screenplay!!! Love it.

  48. imabrat says:

    I used to think it so sad; her delusional view of herself. However, she’s been given adequate time to wake up and smell the roses….geez. What a moron. She was never a stellar actress to begin with.

  49. valleymiss says:

    I don’t know about an Oscar, but LL could make a comeback. She could be in romcoms or whatever. But she would need to:

    1. Go completely underground. Move back to Long Island (or anywhere that isn’t L.A.).

    2. Spend a year in intense therapy dealing with family issues, rampant narcissism, her shitty childhood.

    3. Do the aforementioned year of therapy while in rehab. And yes, I know a year seems crazy…but she needs it. She needs to attend therapy sessions, not go out and party. She needs to scrub toilets, have her cell phone taken away, etc. LL desperately needs humility.

    4. Fire Dina as her manager and hire a non-family member.

    5. Take acting lessons (and I’m not saying that to be snarky. I really enjoyed her in Parent Trap and Mean Girls. I think LL has natural talent). But she needs to make a good faith effort in showing she cares about her job. When a person wants a better job, they go get more training/schooling, right?

    6. Go back to the red hair. Not only is it 1000% more flattering on her, but it will also be seen as a psychological change (like when women get a new haircut after they dump their boyfriends).

    7. Do charity work (serve food at soup kitchens on Thanksgiving like Allysa Milano and J Love Hewitt do. Do charity walks for breast cancer. Etc. But do NOT call the paps for these things. Do them, and let word get around Hollywood gradually.

    8. Finally, go on 20/20 and that sort of thing and talk about her time away from the spotlight…what she learned, how she still loves her mom but she needed to cut business ties, how she loves her lowkey life now, how she doesn’t miss the nightclub at 3am scene, etc. How she realizes how spoiled she was, how that year or 2 away changed her perspective on life, etc. Cut to scene of LL wearing a sweater and jeansm walking with the interviewer down a wooded country path, as leaves gently fall from the trees. Hahah Spend a lot of the interview saying things like, “When I look back at my OLD life, I can’t believe what a mess I was. It seems like lifetimes ago. I’m healthy and ready to work, and I’m happy to start very small and work my way back. It took a long time to undo my career, and it’s going to take a long time to build it up again.”

    Then and only then could LL have a chance at regaining her prior career. Hollywood loves a comeback. Not that LL is in these folks’ league, and not like they have the same background/criminal record, necessarily, but look at Cher, Mickey Rourke, RDJ, etc.

    It CAN be done. Now, WILL it be done? No. Not a chance in hell is LL this smart/motivated. But if she was and she did all these things, she could absolutely have a comeback.

  50. Green_Eyes says:

    Damn! I have seen people in my City that are in their 50′s who have lived the ha life and look better than LILO in a top photo!!

    Only Gold statue I see in her future is if it’s chocolate wrapped in gold foil!!!!

  51. MIKE says:

    Celebitchy give me a break. Obviously Lindsay is a mess and needs help but stop only publishing the most unflattering pictures of her that exist. Pictures taken of her this week with a new hair cut show her to be quite attractive. She may be delusional but most guys I know still think she is a babe.

  52. OhMyMy says:

    @valleymiss: Great post. Way too much common sense for LL to follow though sadly.

    She’s stuck in movie star mode not serious actress. Not every movie has to be a blockbuster or an Oscar contender. She doesn’t get that.

    She needs to clean up the mess she’s made. She needs to go away and get therapy and figure out who she really is and become a real person not this fake she’s showing to the world now.

    Will she do it…who knows? But I see it 5-10 years down the road at least if she lasts that long.

  53. WillyNilly says:

    She really isn’t that talented. Have you SEEN Georgia Rule?! I mean, if Jane Fonda can’t coach her to decency, nobody can. I don’t know why everybody keeps saying ‘she was so talented when she was younger’. No. She was precocious as a kid and could deliver a line without staring directly at the camera. BFD. Otherwise, seriously?? SHE IS NOT A TALENTED ACTRESS. Mean Girls was a (non-intended) ensemble because so many others in the cast outshined her performance….

    Reality is your friend. Just not hers.

  54. Bess says:

    In addition to the raging narcissism, sense of entitlement, drug/alcohol addictions and mental health issues, LL also seems to be addicted to being in the spotlight, even if it’s for negative reasons. That’s why I can’t imagine she’d go totally underground for a year of therapy and rehab.

    Also, LL and her mother are totally co-dependent and feed off each other. Can’t see those two ever breaking business ties.

  55. rightgrrl says:

    i agree @valleymiss

    yes it can be done. but like you, i doubt that she has the emotional depth to ever realize her faults/issues enough to change them…

  56. Cathy says:

    @dawning red….you made me spit soda all over my computer desk lmao.

    That picture of her back showing in that long black dress is disgusting. She looks 90 years old, and it makes me want to vomit

  57. Lady D says:

    Dawning Red I am seriously torn. On behalf of Rose, Donna, the Dr., (DT) and the TARDIS, I am deeply offended. On the other hand, I am laughing my head off. Brilliant work.

  58. hillbilly in the corner says:

    sat down and watched that Herbie movie and I got to say …any high school drama student could have make that movie and done as well….What Talent ! she has no talent…other then what was a cute teen look which she has long ago outgrown and then ruined with botox,nose jobs,boob jobs and cheek inplants….now she looks like a 50 yr old porn star then a 25 yr old woman…as for winning a Oscar or having a Big Comeback…..only in her dreams only in her dream !!!!!

  59. Eleonor says:

    Yes, she is on her way to win an Oscar, as I am on one to win a Nobel.

  60. Alejandro says:

    Robert Downey Jr and Drew Barrymore always get brought up in Lindsay discussions as examples of successful comeback stories. The big difference is they have family and hollywood connections in the business. It doesn’t get any better than having Stephen Speilberg as your godfather. Therefore they always had those connections to help them get back on their feet no matter what. Lindsay has what connections? Her mom and dad are a couple of drifters, ex cons from Long Island. It’s silly to expect Lindsay’s chances are the same as Drew and RDJ.

  61. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Doesn’t Linnocent realise that to get an oscar you have to get a credible acting job…..

    The girl is whacked – too many drugs etc and she is off the planet!

    I do feel sad when I see the parent trap and look at her 11 year old self, but then I remember now she isn’t a child, just a hideous self entitled sociopathic washed up druggie with zilch future apart from p0rn

    All the same its terrifying how delusional she is

  62. OhMyMy says:

    I’m not going to waste any time watching Georgia Rule.

    I do find it interesting that the people that try to convince everyone what an amazing and Oscar-worthy actress she is always conveniently leave out some of her best work (tongue firmly in cheek).

    I’m talking about you “I Know Who Killed Me”, “Just My Luck” and “Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen”. Absolute dreck.

  63. Cherry Rose says:

    @MIKE – Most guys? Most guys I know wouldn’t want to touch Lindsay with a 50 foot pole.

    Anyway, I don’t think that Lindsay is redeemable at this point. Her antics and behaviour are too well known at this point. And not to mention that her looks are pretty much gone.

    Plus, there’s a whole crop of new actresses that have taken Lindsay’s place in Hollywood. And all are much more infinitely talented than Lindsay ever was.

  64. Criss says:

    I feel sorry for her. With all the work she’s done on her face she looks 50, she will get parts that are closer to her real life drama. She was even fired from Linda Lovelace, she is so lost and confused. I hope she takes time out to find that cute little freckle faced red head that we all used to love. She’s take the “all publicity is good publicity” way too far.

  65. Pyewacket says:

    Actually the reason RDJ had a comeback was because he not only has talent, but he wanted to turn his life around otherwise, as he said, he knew he was going to die.

    Lindsay has zero talent. Anything she has done as an adult actress has been shit, and she is no longer a cute pre-teen girl with stars in her eyes. She is nothing more than an escort now who doesn’t think she has a problem.

  66. e.non says:

    the drugs, the whoring, the law-breaking wouldn’t mean a rat’s ass to hollywood if she was still reliable. it’s the holding up production days upon days; and the little issue of no one willing to insure her that hollywood won’t chance. i recall during that film w/jane fonda there were some serious issues with her that even provoked fonda to comment on.

  67. Aly says:

    @ BW I can’t see that happening. She acts like an entitled brat. She’s alienated too many people. RDJ had a lot of people pulling for him.

  68. Smokey says:

    @ Dawning Red – Awesome! I bet you COULD get that financed as a porn series. Tell the Craken it’s a “serious work” and could get her an Oscar and she’ll be there (she was going to take the Inferno role, right?)

    @ The Original Mia: You know that if she won a Razzie she’d paint it gold put it on her mantel and both she and WO would tell everyone it was an Oscar. Eventually, the Cracken would actually believe she won one.

  69. Solaera says:

    And she is a thief. Don’t forget she is also dirty thief.

  70. Nikki Girl says:

    Silly Cracken- Oscars are for actors! And I wouldn’t even consider you an actor/actress at this point. Here’s the problem I have- I know a lot of you are saying she could turn it around if she went sober…but I don’t think the problem lies solely in her drug/alcohol abuse. I absolutely believe that’s a major part of the problem, but her attitude in general is just as responsible. She is entitled, irresponsible, egotistical, unrealistic, immature, lacks work ethic, and will not, under any circumstances, admit to fault whenever she does something wrong. Ever. And while I think that much of this is related to her drug/alcohol abuse, I also think she acquired many of these behaviors and traits even before she became an addict. So even “going sober” is not automatically going to get her back in good standing in the industry, much less in contention for an Oscar.

  71. Madisyn says:

    “Lindsay tried to march up to Leo DiCaprio and Clint Eastwood to discuss collaborating with them on a future project.”

    THAT is the funniest sentence I have seen all YEAR. It just doesn’t get any better than that. Compliments of Mother Crackhead.

  72. Madisyn says:

    Everything in parentheses is my spelling and puncuation corrections. The following in quotes below is from Poster 31 Jane.

    “I’m sure she will be fine. She will get soon (soon get, NOT get soon)her dreamy role and will win (an) (o)scar. She deserve(s) it. She is (a) true survivor . Life was cruel for her but she is still around and doing great. She is young, beautiful and talented. And has the name (recognition) which means a lot (alot). It’s (Its) a brand that people simply desire. People need to give her (a) chance. We can’t waste real talent like her (her’s). Love you LiLo(comma) be strong”!

    You see ALL those errors, THATS the prose of a FVCKIN LOHAN! Ali or Blohan herself, take your pick.

  73. Lee says:

    @ Addie – RDJ & Mickey Rourke are men. So making a comeback in their 30s-40s, and, in Rourke’s case, with a completely busted face, is an option. Lindsay is destroying her looks & not capitalizing on her youth. And for an actress, youth & beauty are as important as having talent.

    Incredibly gifted actresses who don’t have Lindsay’s drug problems or meth face find themselves getting put out to pasture in their late 30s. So, it’s not looking good for the moderately talented Lohan unless she straightens out within the next 5 years & can reverse whatever the hell she’s done to her face.

    Drew Barrymore is one of the few actresses to have managed the comeback from drug addiction to leading lady, but:

    a)she was Hollywood royalty & is loved by major players like her godfather Steven Spielberg, who could pull strings for her
    b) she was only 20 yrs old when she made her comeback
    c)people sympathized with her, a troubled 13-yr-old addict, in a way they don’t with an adult like Lohan.

  74. Rio says:

    @ Madisyn, “which means a lot (alot)”

    Nope, the original poster had it right. A lot is two words!

    I shall let Allie of Hyperbole and a Half explain it in full:

    (And for the record I’m just commenting on that because that’s one of my pet peeves. Let the snark continue!)

  75. Kimberly says:

    Until the day comes when she shaves her head and swings an umbrella, OR is taken to the mental ward strapped on a bed, it will always be funny.

    I mean she’s not gonna have a career EVER! Even if she cleaned up she has the permanent methhead face. She’s never going to look the same again, and it’s still funny.

  76. EscapedConvent says:

    Dawning Red, that is !@#$ing brilliant! You’ve drawn such a vivid picture of Lyndzie sailing across the universe in the RETARDIS, battling the Cybersexmen. This would make a fabulous sci-fi series for SyFy! (It kind of reminded me of “Lexx”, if anyone remembers that.) Bravo!

  77. GirlyGIrl says:

    I’m finding this all kind of heart breaking. The 4th pic in the car you can sort of see a sad little kid sitting there.

    I know this may be hard to believe but I think things are going to get a lot worse for her.

  78. IKnowItAll says:

    I don’t understand Kaiser’s unrelenting venom and jealousy where this poor girl is concerned, from the vicious personal commentary to the palatable delight at her every failing to the worst possible photos she can find to accompany the “articles”.

    Lohan has no doubt made terrible choices up until now, but she has almost exclusively only hurt herself, with minor collateral damage at best, and no one injured.

    RD, Jr. was saved because HE WENT TO PRISON, this one is getting kid-gloved into an early grave.

    Lohan has been abused, misused and misguided since she was a child, how does a person learn to be a responsible adult and member of society when she is neither taught how to or shown by example?

    PS I’d go with MIKE’s comment over Cherry Rose’s, since he is an actual guy with actual guy friends, not some chick with boys who want to impress her.

  79. Silk Spectre says:

    No honey! No Oscar for you. Not even when hell freezes over! Appreciate the Razzi you got^^

  80. says:


  81. LeeLoo says:

    She’ll win an Oscar…when they create the Best Actress Receiving Anal Sex in a Motion Picture category. Because the only acting The Cracken will be doing at this point is acting in porn films. She kissed any chances of having a legitimate film career goodbye a long time ago. The only person who didn’t get the memo is Crackie herself.

  82. Nan says:

    Good lord! She looks like she ready to say “I’m ready for my close up Mr. DeMill”. She’s got haggard look of 60 year old junky.

    I’ll admit I never ever got why people gave a wit about her but to each their own.

  83. guilty pleasures says:

    @ Madisyn, if you are going to attempt to correct grammar and spelling, for the love of dogs, don’t make so many errors yourself. Really, ‘alot?’ -as your correction? And ‘it’s’ is the correct usage for ‘it is.’
    I hold myself back from correcting people because it really is obnoxious, and since this is the world wide web I comfort myself by thinking they are writing English as their second language.

  84. Cherry Rose says:

    @IKnowItAll – This may be hard for you to comprehend, but I do have actual guy friends, and not just guys trying to impress me. A lot of them said she was hot back in the day, but now she’s just some used up has-been who looks to be 35 and not 25.

    And as a bisexual girl, I can honestly say Lindsay is not attractive, nor would I want to hit that. I’ll gladly take Amber Heard or Emma Stone over Linsday any day.

    And why would Kaiser or any of us be jealous of Lindsay? What’s to be jealous of?

    That she has no career? That’s she a known thief, liar, addict, and all around nasty person? Are we jealous of her terrible weave, complete with the standard bleach job? Are we jealous of her continous legal troubles?

    Or are we jealous of her horrible damaged skin, rotting teeth, and double chin?

    Please. And she’s no longer a girl. Lindsay is now a grown ass woman, who no longer lives with her mother, and makes her own decisions.

    And just because Lindsay has never learned anything worthwhile from her parents, doesn’t mean she couldn’t have learned it from the people around her. After getting in trouble for the same actions, you learn not to keep doing them, and that they’re wrong.

    Lindsay knows what she’s doing is wrong, but she simply doesn’t give a shit. She knew that stealing that necklace was wrong, but she did it anyway. She thinks she is above the law, and that the rules shouldn’t apply to her.

    But go ahead and keep on defending her, just like her other enablers. People like you are the ones sending her to an early grave.

  85. MorticiansDoItDeader says:

    Courtney strikes again with 6 degrees of Joanne Woodward LOL.

    @Criss, ” she will get parts that are closer to her real life drama.”

    I was thinking the same thing. She’ll make an excellent crackhead in her next film, and if she gets busted she can always claim she was “researching” her role.

    @cherry Rose, ” Most guys? Most guys I know wouldn’t want to touch Lindsay with a 50 foot pole.”

    Agreed! I had a nightmare my husband cheated on me with Blohan (probably because I’m always posting about her and her meth-mouth IS the stuff nightmares are made of) and I woke up an told him. His response “Ewww. Couldn’t you have a dream I was cheating with someone good looking?”

  86. Madisyn says:

    Cherry Rose and Morticians

    Lets just have a cracktini and forget all about the enablers. Shall we? Where the fvck is Belle? Any of you guys seen her?


    My ex-boyfriend, who was 25 yrs older than me,(and you know how old I am) wouldn’t be in the SAME ROOM with Blohan for fear of a communicable disease.

    Guilty Pleasures

    Feel free to call me ‘obnoxious’, I don’t mind. You’re probably right.


    Days of CS (12 req.)/PSYCHOtherapy Sessions(4 req.)

    DawningRed – 14/4
    shoeaddict – 19/6
    Ruby Red – 16/4
    Cathy – 16/4
    Smokey – 12/3

  87. IKnowItAll says:

    I hardly think calling for her to be sent to prison would qualify as “enabling her” on my part, Cherry Rose, and being bisexual doesn’t make you an authority on the tastes of all people, male or female.

    Guys talk differently with other guys than they do when they are with females. Most, if offered the opportunity, *would* hit it, as unappealing as you or I might find it.

  88. HannahF says:

    Good evening all!! I ran into my favorite criminal law attorney at an event this week and I asked him whether he thought that Lindsay was receiving special treatment from the judiciary or the Sheriff’s dept.

    He didn’t think so at all. In fact, he thought the Sheriff’s dept dragged their feet processing her through this last go-round or she would have been out in less than 4 hours. Fewer and fewer of his clients are seeing any significant jail time. The overcrowding problem is that serious.

    LA County Superior Court serves 9.75 million people in a 4000 mile area. That should answer some questions as to why things operate differently here.

  89. Smokey says:

    @ IKnowItAll:

    “Most, HOMELESS MEN if offered the opportunity, *would* hit it, as unappealing as you or I might find it.”

    Fixed it for you.

  90. Madisyn says:


    I think your moniker says it all. Please, don’t talk to my ‘daughter’ Cherry Rose like that. You said:

    “Cherry Rose, and being bisexual doesn’t make you an authority on the tastes of all people, male or female”.

    I don’t think Cherry CLAIMED ANYTHING! She merely stated that SHE wouldn’t ‘hit that’. I don’t see anywhere where she was claiming to speak for all men and women out there. Since my ‘daughter’ was only speaking for herself and speaking within her age group and peers, she has A LOT (thank you Rio and Guilty Pleasures for pointing out my inaccuracies) more in common and has a pulse on the zeitgeist than you! Probably. And if you are in your early twenties and your moniker is ‘IKnowItAll’, sweetie, you got a lot to learn. If you are not in your early 20′s, STFU about what people in their mid 20′s think.

    Speaking of monikers, read mine!

  91. Madisyn says:


    No worries about your ‘nightmare’, it was just that. At least you have someone who TRULY loves you. Can’t say the same about Blohan. Consider yourself lucky. No matter what, I could commit murder and my mother would love me. Not because I could support her financially and keep her booze and drugs, but ‘just because’. And that, we have something to be thankful for on Thanksgiving day and every other day. Know it, own it, live it, love it!


    Hey hey hey. I posted your update. I think you should change your 2nd part of the bet to 4. THAT part she can actually complete, the CS, umm not so sure.

  92. MorticiansDoItDeader says:

    @madisyn, ah! Thanks for that cracktini! Not sure where @the original Bella is….but we could use some of her insight. A Blohan thread isn’t any fun without you and @the original Bella. Love you ladies :)

  93. Madisyn says:


    I called Belle, finally! Her hubby said she’d ‘call me back’. Thanks. HannahF and I are in
    ‘chat’, wanna goin?

  94. JaneWonderfalls says:

    If Lindsay get’s her act together by going to rehab and seeking therapy for her mental condition and drug habit. She needs to fire her momanger, I know she can make a comeback, because as much as people love a train wreck they also love a comeback story. She has to work very hard and try and build those bridges she broke in Hollywood also. As much as I bad mouth her , I do secretly hope she get’s her shyte together.

  95. trh says:

    @Madisyn – yeah that poster does spell like a Lwhun… but they still score points with me for getting the contraction form of “it’s” right. Editing not your mutant super power maybe… Anyway cut a Cracken some slack maybe she’s posting from a mobile device and typing in a crack frenzy.

    Seriously though I am so sad to see her in this tailspin so young. It’s a damn shame. In what future is this trainwreck not a liability? But reality has never been all that plausible. So as implausible as it is to imagine a future Lwhun film project that is INSURABLE and isn’t pr0n, I guess her only hope is in the capacity of the universe to be extremely implausible.

  96. Syko says:

    One more tiny thing on the corrections of Madisyn’s corrections – “her’s” is also incorrect. The apostrophe is meant to indicate that some letters were left out, as in “it’s” meaning “it is” and “you’re” meaning “you are”. If you spell it “her’s” you are indicating what? “Her is”? I wouldn’t pick on these things, except you picked on someone else about their grammar. English is a second language to many of the commenters, and apparently to you too.

  97. skeptical says:

    heee for the hyperbole and a half reference.. love that blog.

    on topic— lilo is delusional as ever.
    I’m betting the closest to cognition she comes is realizing that a long jail stint means being away from the cameras long enough to be forgotten.
    And she’s terrified of that.

    Sadly her delusion sinks so deep that she doesn’t realize disappearing and being forgotten for a looong long time would be the beginning of her possible comeback.

    The thing about comebacks is… you have to go away first.

  98. Madisyn says:

    Thank you, I Lurve You, Bess, DawningRed and HannahF. Too bad the others didn’t join us in ‘chat’, their lose.

  99. ViloDeMenus says:

    Her hands always look filthy, what’s that all about? The Cracken bwhahahhahaha! Perfection!

  100. REDSLIP says:

    Considering how delusional and clearly mentally ill this girl is, I would seriously question spending time alone with any man that would openly admit to wanting to “hit that.” Creepy.

  101. MorticiansDoItDeader says:

    @madisyn, thanks for the chat invite, I would have been there if I had seen the invitation last night. Unfortunately, I didn’t check back in until this morning :( I’ll definitely be there next time!

  102. the original bellaluna says:

    Linnocent is maniacally insane. It’s a brilliant strategy, actually.

    (going to read the other comments now)

    Addie – NO. Not unless she pulls an RDJ out of her ass and REALLY makes an effort. (And that’s saying A LOT, since RDj has REAL TALENT and did his time in GP with genuine humility. Rather than skirting around and skating around the TRUE issue and relying on his “I’m an ACTOR entitlement.”)

  103. the original bellaluna says:

    Wow. Looks like it got nasty! And since this is a Linnocent post, that’s saying A LOT.

  104. Soxfan says:

    I think that the correction of “her’s” was meant to show possession, unfortunately, “hers” is already a possessive pronoun-you do not make it more possessive by adding an apostrophe. Not meaning to be snitty-just pointing out what I thought the original poster meant

  105. Bess says:

    Lohan was at an art exhibit last night. I think she got her hair colored again.

  106. Madisyn says:


    I was partaking in the ‘good stuff’ last night and I gave the wrong website. Its ‘’, NOT ‘dot com’, sorry. Anywhoodle, looking forward to you chatting with us.

  107. Madisyn says:


    This twit wouldn’t know ‘fine art’ if she was standing in the center of the Getty Museum or the Guggenheim.

    After reading the article, we now know the amount she’s suing for, $75 grand. Don’t you just love how Pitbull called her out about NOT being a resident of NY but of California? Any one with a TV or computer knows this idiot has resided in CA for years. She even rents a Venice, CA beach pad. Does she have a place in NY, no of course not. Listing ‘mommy’s’ house address doesn’t count. Of course many other posters, including myself knew this was WO’s brilliant plan, not Blohans. Love that Pitbull is not rolling over like those lame ass’ at E-Trade.

    Anywhoodle, should we ‘chat’ later tonight? All get together and discuss? DawningRed, HannahF, Bess, Belle, Morticians, and anyone else is more that welcome. The site address is posted on comment 106. Say 7pm PST? What say you all?

  108. Nibbi says:

    this is sooooooo horrid, just really horrible of me but um i feel like i hafta admit that i keep up with the lohan posts and even sort of appreciate them cuz checking out the spectacularly rapid aging and cosmetic effects of her bad personal choices damn near *always* motivates me to, like, take a shower take a vitamin use a good moisturizer go to bed early drink some mineral water. she’s many years younger than me but she just seems like a walking beauty cautionary tale, poor thing.

  109. Madisyn says:


    Blohan wouldn’t know ‘fine art’ if she was standing in the middle of the Getty Museum or the Guggenheim.

  110. marybeth18 says:

    Can Lindsay make a comeback?

    Probably not.

    Her issue isn’t really the drugs and the criminal record- people, many people, have comeback from those issues in Hollywood. Drug addiction and criminal activity aren’t a career killer in Hollywood.

    Lindsay’s real issue is her narcissistic, entitled, assh*le behavior. She’s a jerk. She’s torched any relationships she once had in the industry, and she’s failed to make any others. There aren’t any A-List actors, directors, producers, or studio heads who still think well of her, or would be willing to give her a shot if she could clean herself up. Even if she gets clean, finishes the community service, gets off probation- she couldn’t get meetings with anyone in Hollywood.

    All of those other actors people compare Lindsay to, people like Drew Barrymore, RDJ, even Johnny Depp (in his hotel room trashing stage), etc…they all expressed humility, regret, and maturity about their addictions and issues. They also had friendships with powerful people who actively helped them out.

  111. assistantrachel says:

    Bitch, please!
    My 9 year old son even said “Lindsey Lohan needs to go to jail. She is nothing but a crackhead!” I don’t think Oscar is calling your name, honey.

  112. MorticiansDoItDeader says:

    @Madisyn, It’ll be 10 PM east coast time and if the hubby isn’t hogging the laptop I’ll be there. I tried to log on with my smart phone (which is how I surf the web and post here) and I can’t because you can’t use flash player with an iPhone :(

  113. Madisyn says:


    I initally gave you the wrong site address. Did you see the correction? Its .ORG, not .COM. Was that the problem? Is 10 your time too late?

  114. Madisyn says:


    You didn’t give me a sec to respond. Bess and I are there now. Wha happened to you?

  115. Madisyn says:

    Thank you Bess for joining me.

  116. Leah says:

    What is with her hair in the first pic? Is that dirt or what? It’s disgusting looking. :-(

  117. Meanchick says:

    I hope I don’t look this bad when I’m 60.

  118. Annie says:

    Lindsay’s real issue is her narcissistic, entitled, assh*le behavior. She’s a jerk. She’s torched any relationships she once had in the industry, and she’s failed to make any others. There aren’t any A-List actors, directors, producers, or studio heads who still think well of her, or would be willing to give her a shot if she could clean herself up. Even if she gets clean, finishes the community service, gets off probation- she couldn’t get meetings with anyone in Hollywood.
    This. That’s the thing, she’s not a nice girl who happens to be struggling with drugs and impulse control, she’s a jerk who also happens to have a drug problem and a criminal record – those things are just the mouldy frosting on the rotten cake. I spent a long time feeling sorry for Lindsay, until I realized this year that she’s basically just a douche, like her Mom and Dad. When I think of people who have made unlikely comebacks in Hollywood like Drew Barrymore, Mickey Rourke and RDJ…yeah, being male may have helped the last two but most importantly these people are all *likeable* and non-sociopathic. Lindsay’s personality is more like a female Gary Coleman, and I don’t doubt that she’ll end up the same way.

  119. OhMyMy says:

    @Madisyn: Sorry. Didn’t see anyone there.

  120. Madisyn says:

    marybeth18 and Annie

    I COMPLETELY agree with you both.

  121. MorticiansDoItDeader says:

    @ohmymy, I didn’t see anyone there either.

    @madisyn, no silly! 10 isn’t too late, but sometimes my hubby gets on the laptop around then. Which is why I post from my phone, but I can’t access chat from my phone because it requires flashplayer and the iPhone isn’t compatable with it.

  122. Cherry Rose says:

    @Madisyn – Thanks ‘Mom’. =] *hugs*

    @IKnowItAll – And you are an enabler, even if you think Lindsay should go to prison. Look at what you typed:

    I don’t understand Kaiser’s unrelenting venom and jealousy where this poor girl is concerned, from the vicious personal commentary to the palatable delight at her every failing to the worst possible photos she can find to accompany the “articles”.

    Lohan has no doubt made terrible choices up until now, but she has almost exclusively only hurt herself, with minor collateral damage at best, and no one injured.

    RD, Jr. was saved because HE WENT TO PRISON, this one is getting kid-gloved into an early grave.

    Lohan has been abused, misused and misguided since she was a child, how does a person learn to be a responsible adult and member of society when she is neither taught how to or shown by example?

    And for your information, there were people in Hollywood that tried to guide Lindsay and give her advice, and even tough love. And Lindsay herself rejected all this, because she doesn’t think she was doing anything wrong and everyone is just out to get her and make her look bad.

    She even punched her own mother in the face when Dina suggested that Lindsay should go to rehab.

    And I would bet you that if Lindsay was abused in anyway as a child or teen, she would be going to any media outlet that would have her and give her sob story about it.

  123. Madisyn says:

    Cherry Rose

    *Hugs back*


    Bess, belle, DawningRed, and myself were all there, I assure you. Sorry you didn’t make it. Next time, for sure.

  124. MorticiansDoItDeader says:

    @madisyn, ok. Keep me posted as to when the next one is :)

  125. Madisyn says:


    How about now? I’m in the mood to chat. If I don’t respond immediately, please be patient, I’m just away from my computer for a minute, making a cracktail, probably. Its 3:30 p.m. PST.

  126. MorticiansDoItDeader says:

    @madisyn, I just got your message I’ll be there now

  127. CeeCee says:

    Lindsay needs to get her priorities right, her life and health need to get in order never mind the huge aspiration of winning an Oscar. I feel sorry for her, she doesn’t have a friend in the world.

  128. k says:

    Linds needs to keep doing what’s she’s doing. Only a gossip/tabloid fodder. No acting career, only credibility is being in some kind of news. Of Any Kind. Just waiting for the tragic headlines. And gossip/news sites are the only place Linds get any kind of press. Thanks Celibitchy for keeping the Linds current.

  129. Bambi says:

    If she survives the drug abuse, I could easily see Lindsay Lohan winning an oscar in ten years for her soul-stirring performance as Emma Stone’s alcoholic mother.

    I’m only half joking.

  130. skeptical says:

    did lilo cut her hair? it looks shorter..
    it not only looks shorter.. it now looks the same length as the hair of Ronson’s new girlfriend, Erin Foster.
    between this, and the porshe story mentioned earlier, and lilo’s tweeting about Zooey’s new show (Zooey shares a website with Sam’s friend Sophia) and then there was that teddy bear photo op story…and before that how lilo moved in right next door the day after getting out of betty ford..and on.. and on…

    still doing the Single White Female?

  131. Bess says:

    a “fan” sent LL a tweet last night and told her that she should be a contestant on Dancing with the Stars.

    Here’s her answer:

    @lindsaylohan: @r7908 i want my mom @dinalohan to do #dancingwiththestars next season…she is an incredible dancer and has been dancing for years… :)

  132. Thea says:

    Lindsay will never get her career back because unlike RDJ, she has no humility,has no talent and she will not face the realization that she has issues. Her arrogance has burned her many bridges in Hollywood. And some of them I dont think she can crawl back over.

  133. Madisyn says:


    Lets keep an eye out tomorrow for Milo’s cour date. ROL was reporting a week ago that last Wed. court date was moved the day before, to last Tuesday and now theres some kind of arraignment or bail hearing tomorrow. It said 1:30 p.m., I’m assuming it 1:30 EST, as they’re in FL. But keep your eyes peeled in case the time is not correct.

    As for her tweet, I’ve covered this more time than I have fingers and toes. Blohan does not have the patience, determination, drive, and dedication to do the month long practices leading up to the first live telecast, let alone an entire season. She’s pushing for Dina, because Dina DESPERATELY wants to be on DWTS. It feeds into WO’s delusion that she’s a ‘S T A R’!

    I don’t know about everyone else but I’m going through cranknanigan withdrawls.

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