Justin Timberlake would marry Jessica Biel if she threatened to leave him?

In last week’s Us Weekly issue, there was one of the most absurd items that I’ve ever read, and trust me, I read a lot of absurd tabloid items (and I believe some of them too). The fact that this story came from Us Weekly disturbed me – it’s one of the most obvious publicist-planted pieces I’ve ever seen, and normally you only see that kind of naked PR piece in In Touch Weekly or People Magazine. I expect something different from Us Weekly! Anyway, the claim is that Justin Timberlake is so “desperate” to hold on to Jessica Biel (suppress your laughter, I’m not finished) that JT would “marry” Biel if she threatened to leave him. NO JOKE. This is the claim.

When Justin Timberlake, 30, and Jessica Biel, 29, reconciled in July after a five-month split, friends assumed this time they’d marry. And a source says it’ll be Biel who decides: “Justin thinks marriage would hurt his career, but if Jessica threatened to leave, he’d do it.”

(His rep says he “separates his personal and professional lives.”)

Explains the pal of the couple of four years – “He doesn’t want to lose her.”

[From Us Weekly, print edition]

I’m beyond understanding Justin and Jessica’s dynamic as a couple, and I am literally clueless as to why they got back together over the summer, but I think it’s safe to say that this story comes from a crack-smoking publicist who is employed by someone whose name rhymes with “Chessica Seil”. If I’m being completely unkind, I think Biel and Timberlake’s dynamic is this: he gets more tail when he has a girlfriend. His game is off when he’s a single guy. And he and Jessica have some kind of “understanding” where he pretty much gets to do whatever and whoever he wants and Jessica gets to be “Justin Timberlake’s girlfriend.” If that dynamic was a bit more cut and dry, I wouldn’t have as big of a problem. But Biel is still trying to convince us that Justin will eventually be her husband? Good God.

Photos courtesy of Fame and WENN.

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34 Responses to “Justin Timberlake would marry Jessica Biel if she threatened to leave him?”

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  1. Jenn says:

    After reading the subject heading, I was expecting the first line of the post to read “April’s fool” except the date is all wrong.

    I wonder if Jessica has to pay Us Weekly to publish this crap?

    I’d believe Lindsay Lohan doesn’t have an addiction problem before I believe this.

  2. Skyler says:

    I fell sorry for her. I guess she is not pretty or talented enough to be somebody on her own in Hollywood. She always needs the support of more famous man. Without him she is nobody. Another c list actress.

  3. Anait says:

    Off topic: Am I the only one to think that she looks much older than Justin T.?
    By the way, who wants to marry a man who “thinks marriage would hurt his career”? What a poor, useless guy!

  4. Zay says:

    How sad is the story of this girl’s life? If it is to go with the He doesn’t love her cheater claims i think its the price she pays because she can’t live without the attention either

  5. Lady_Luck says:

    these two really are the most vomit-worthy couple in the celeb world.

    her: simpering, pathetic and needy
    him: total arrogant, overrated, self-obsessed douch-bag.

    the dynamics of this couple just make me want to scream.

    but yes, you do have a good point: J.T gets to chase and bed more tail when apparently ‘taken’.

  6. outofafrica says:

    I can’t stand them both..they both need to disappear..talentless twats

  7. normades says:

    She must have really low self esteem and he must be really codependent. There’s dem dynamics.

    If Mila or Amanda wanted to be with him he would have left Jessica for good. The only “celebrity” he could score is Olivia Munn which isn’t an upgrade by any standadrd.

  8. Jacq says:

    I always thought of her as, uh, going the other way? (nothing wrong with that, please don’t tell at me!!!) So… Marriage of convenience? Who’s bearding who?

  9. Flan says:

    She’s really pathetic.

    Before Justin she was the hot new actress, but now she’s just a nervous appendix.

  10. Marjalane says:

    Hmmmmmm. I think there are some layers here that complicate this little love story. I don’t always buy the beard/Mama’s boy, thing that surrounds these two, but if this is accurate, then I think his personal life is as lame and pathetic as his acting. That, or she has some awesome dirt on him.

  11. NM9005 says:

    She is willing to endure anything to get that ring. Quite sad. She would be infinitely more interesting to me if she:

    - dumps Timbertwat and dates a guy who actually loves her and not uses her.
    - enrolled in some acting classes and really work on her skills. Branch out a bit and give a performance that is critically acclaimed. Try some theater.
    - stops relying on her looks and subsequently complains about it to give an excuse why nobody gives her good parts.
    - stops relying on her looks and a high profile man to feel valuable.

    She holds her own future in her hands. If she doesn’t do something now, she’ll end up without a man, notable career and good looks pretty soon and being so hung up on those things, it will be devasting one day when she wakes up and realizes it.

  12. Ferocity says:

    Say what you will: that woman has amazing skin.

  13. jc126 says:

    Pathetic. I know people IRL who just HAD to marry that guy who didn’t want them, and it never turns out well.
    I always have liked the saying “that which is obtained by force, must be maintained by force”. He’ll cheat or dump her later if they get married.

  14. hottathanholywatta says:

    hahahahahaha…..pure work of fiction, does she consider having “control over her man” as letting him time and time again humilate her by constantly cheating on her? Talk about setting women back a few decades

  15. truthful says:

    if he wanted her so bad, he would have married her by now–why would she have to leave for him to marry her.

    what a stupid article, I’m noticing that
    US Weekly has really been kinda desperate lately, with a bunch of unbelievable stories.

  16. Dani says:

    Nothing against Jess, but I just want Justin and Mila together.

  17. ShanKat says:

    If that’s true, get to steppin, lady!

    She looks like a young Mother Timberlake.

    I still really have it bad for that gold-feather belt. SO fabulous.

  18. lol123 says:

    How much more pathetic can Jessica Biel get?

    Why is he still with her?

  19. Ranga says:

    The last article I read on her she admitted to going to dozens of auditions and not getting parts she wants. I’d rather watch her than him and I’m not convinced anyone other than now grown up InSync fangirls want to sleep with him :p

    They probably have an open relationship, free to do what it takes to further their career but there for each other when needed.

    I don’t know why I’m even speculating on this :D

  20. Jordan says:

    My theory is:
    a.)The March breakup was faked for publicity for the FWB movie and Biel had to go along with it b/c, well, what else is she going to do?
    b.)If it wasn’t faked, then he only broke up with Biel b/c Mila wouldn’t sleep with him until he did. He knew that once he was done, Biel would be right where he left her so he wasn’t really losing anything.
    Either way, she is a desperate doormat with no self worth.

  21. MAMAKOWALSKA says:

    I really don’t see why idiot women play this game with any guy…..If a man wants you for his own he will make you his own if he is a man….this guy will be chasing skirts until his water pump don’t work no more!!!!