‘Breaking Dawn – Part 2′ teaser: truly intriguing or too dumb for words?

Last Friday when my daughter and I headed to the theater to watch The Hunger Games, she secured the essential top-row seats while I stood in the very long line for popcorn. Once in the theater, she informed me that I’d missed the new teaser trailer for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 but that it was no big deal because she was “so over it already.” At first, I was a bit shocked by this statement since she’s firmly Team Edward and even has a cardboard cutout of His Sparkliness in her bedroom. Now I know what she’s talking about because this teaser trailer is really lame. Here it is, and we’ll discuss afterwards:

Okay, so CB and I both think the part where Bella is stalking that poor little deer is pretty damn funny, but I can’t grasp whether or not Summit Entertainment intends this to be funny or if they’re actually trying to make this movie seem scary. After all, the promotional strategy of Breaking Dawn – Part I was much sharper than the movie itself — and it was the trailer’s blatant hilarity of a busted headboard and Jacob ripping off his shirt and wolfing out that led to a $138 million opening weekend. In contrast, this teaser features more “romantic” glimpses of Bella’s wedding/engagement ring, Edward making another one of his silly “romantic” statements, and Taylor Lautner nipping out as Jacob. Maybe the next trailer will have more campiness to offer since this one fails miserably, but if you’ve read the books, you know as well as I do that nothing of great consequence will happen in this installment unless Summit starts adding sh-t to the story.

Although I do remain vaguely mused with the part where Bambi’s about to get it. Not that this will necessarily pull people into the theater.

Screenshots from YouTube

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78 Responses to “‘Breaking Dawn – Part 2′ teaser: truly intriguing or too dumb for words?”

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  1. Leikyn says:

    Too early to tell, although it’s “Twilight” so we already know what we’re going to get. The Bambi part IS funny.

    • WillyNilly says:

      Its hilarious. I mean, even when she’s a frackin’ VAMPIRE, she’s awkward and clumsy.

    • P says:

      Poor Bambi, it didn’t deserve to end up in this movie.

    • Molly says:

      It’s too bad she can’t turn evil and have to fight herself from killing the whole town, and Edward hates himself for turning her into a bloodthirsty monster. That would have been an awesome movie. Too bad Stephenie Meyers didn’t go that way with it.

      All the movies are so pretty visually. I’m apathetic about the storyline, other than I hope teen girls are more demanding of what they expect their romantic life to be like. I know a ton of women hate Twilight and think it encourages teenage girls to be passive and in abusive relationships, but that wasn’t my read of it. I listened to Ani Difranco in high school and thought getting involved with someone would be really painful emotionally, so I just hardened myself and got cynical.

      Could have done without the cynicism, I tell you. I certainly would have been more demanding in my first relationship instead of pretending to be aloof when I was hurting because i never asked for what I wanted.

  2. Psyren says:

    My god this girl cannot act. Never saw any of these movies and never will. I couldn’t even watch the whole 49 seconds of it. Stiff, expressionless and just ridiculous.

    • Leikyn says:

      You only see her hand, her hair, her nose on up, half a body behind a tree, and she does a voice over. Based on this teaser trailer ALONE it’s not a fair judgement of her acting skills. Plus you haven’t seen any of the movies.

    • Maguita says:

      Quite honestly, and yes, I am going to sound snarky here, but why do people criticize movies and books they have never watched or read?

      What did you think of Jewish faith leaders who had criticized The Passion of the Christ without seeing it?

      What did you think of Christianity followers who criticized Dan Brown’s Angels and Demons without reading it?

      What did you think of Rome who criticized The Da Vinci code without seeing it?

      What do you think of Islam followers who criticize any movie depicting 9/11 without seeing it?

      How about Jurassic Park, when every paleontologist, historian, and all-around grave digger had to put in their two cents?

      Yes, this trailer sucks, because of the outrageously big budget Summit had at its disposal to make these movies, yet still, it looks… cheaply done.

      The books were quite an ok read. I would rather see my 12 year-old girls reading these books, instead of chanting 50 Cent’s lyrics to the Candy Shop, and how about you suck on his lollipop!

      Notwithstanding the tremendous criticism of whatever secret Mormon message there was in these books, they are very thick well-written books, that got our children back to READING!! And besides, anything could be perceived as having some sort of religious or fanatically political and secretive messages to sway young formative minds. Yes, even The Little Mermaid is said to have deeply hidden Freemasonry messages.

      So please, stop fronting like ignorance is something to be touted as glowing pride. If you are not interested, just say so. Just don’t gloat on having never read or watched anything pertaining to these stories. It is absurd.

      And btw, Sparkles’ shine might be dim, but K-Stew rocked in The Runaways. Very nicely done! And SWATH looks very, very, promising.

      • Zelda says:

        God help us all if that is what passes for good writing, these days.

      • Lee says:

        If by well written you mean horrible appalling trash, I agree 100%.

        Seriously, from twilight to 50 cent? You don’t see any space in between there?

        I did happen to see the twilight movie, and it was BAD. Not even guilty pleasure bad. Just bad. Bad dialogue, bad acting, bad everything. There was not one redeeming quality in any scene. It’s not even a good love story. I cannot express enough how much I wish I had those hours of my life back.

      • Maguita says:

        I agree about the movies.

        But the books, you are forgetting that they are not meant for adults. And if you have ever read what is out there for tweens and teens, you would vomit. Especially at that Smith writer of the Vampire Diaries.

        So yes, compared to the trash that is out there for tweens and teens, The Twilight series is well-written. And what is more important, it’s the reading passion it brought back to kids. I had never seen so many kids reading; and those books are not illustrated, and really bible-thick. It started a whole new generation of reading again. And that is something to be thankful for. Kids learning that words beyond LMAO, and 4 U, exist. Heck, some are learning whole sentences!

      • flourpot says:

        Please introduce your 12 year old to better books. We all have our guilty pleasures but this is far too superficial content that even tho most mature 12 year old isn’t going to get. Instead, try To Kill a Mockingbird. Or perhaps Fantastic Mr. Fox. Or even The Phantom Tollbooth. Please, not this.

      • justez says:

        I have seen the first two movies of the Twilight series and don’t think they were great and thought most of the acting was just terrible, especially the main cast. But I have heard Kristen Stewart was great in The Runaways from good friends, so I’ll believe that.
        I did, however, read the books and they were just a fun, quick read in high school.
        But I have to disagree on this whole “it got our children reading again” as a positive consequence of the books, as if all reading= a good thing. Because not all reading is good, not all TV watching is bad. Watching The Hisotry channel is much better for one’s mind than say, reading Snooki’s book.

      • Maguita says:

        @flourpot, you do understand that today’s kids are NOT interested in reading, and shoving classic literature down their throats is a sure way to turn them off reading all together?

        That is why everyone was absolutely surprised at the success of those Twilight books: They turned kids ONTO reading. And once your kid is hooked, then you introduce the classics and broaden their horizon. And whether they start enjoying Jane Austen or Vince Flynn, they become much appreciative of reading, and learn to discern good from bad.

        And I absolutely agree with @justez, not all reading is good, however, I haven’t read any of “Snooki’s” books, not interested at all, so I really cannot comment if those books are well written. Some might surprise you, because obviously in certain “contemporary pop-culture” reads, the quality of editing, as well as ghost writers make a whole lotta of difference!

    • Eileen says:

      That -all of what you said. ***Edit-uhhh yeah my “That” was aimed at Pysren. I am not even sure the above poster is commenting on the same thread! lol Say whaaaaaa???****

      Ya know-the books weren’t half bad. Campy yes, but it kept me entertained. These movies are the WORST copy of a movie-ever. Worse than the movie version of Stephen King’s Tommyknockers…and that says A.LOT.

    • Tiffany says:

      I have only seen Kristen in a couple of things. I first saw her in Adventureland, and I thought she was really good. There were layers to her performance.

      I read the Twilight books and then watched most of the first 2 movies…and I think the movies are so awful because if you actually SEE what is in the books happen you realize how lame it is (books tell, movies show). In the books Bella DOES bite her lip, shiver, and sigh nearly every other paragraph. I don’t think Stewart should be blamed for how bad the movies suck. The source material is absurd. The final book is the big climax that NEVER HAPPENS.

  3. My Darling Pinkett says:

    Poor Bambi. And yes, lame teaser. Can’t wait for this pile of dung to be over!

  4. paola says:

    Yawn. please wake me up when all this will be finished, over, kaput, finito.

  5. elle says:

    When my class went to see the Hunger Games last Friday and this trailer came on, the whole theater was laughing at it; even the self-proclaimed twihards thought it looked awful

  6. Nanz says:

    I know virtually nothing about this series as I’ve only seen the first movie and haven’t read the books. I (inappropriately?) laughed when Edward said, “We’re the same temperature now.”

  7. Jaxx says:

    That is one part of the storyline that I did enjoy. When human she had been so clumsy and awkward, but once a vampire she is graceful and fully in charge of her body. Her red eyes look good against that white skin.

    I don’t want to see her take down bambi.

  8. mia girl says:

    That teaser trailer was pretty lame.

    I saw it in the theater before HG and while we can snark on the scene of Bella hunting the poor little deer (for its blood), it struck me a bit funny that not 5 minutes later – the first scene of Katniss hunting was a poor little deer (for its meat). It seemed like it was shot in the same forest!

    BTW Bedhead, I too have a teenage daughter firmly planted in Team Edward… I’ve read that they actually added a battle to BD2 (vs the lame-ass battle of strategy in the book). I think it is in the guise of a vision, but that you will see some vamps getting destroyed.

  9. Reece says:

    None of them were ever meant to be funny but they are.

  10. Cindy says:

    I was flipping through and one of them was on today, and it was the scene where Edward was talking about waiting until marriage for sex to save Bella’s “virtue” and “soul”. I’m not going to lie, I laughed. I don’t think teenagers should be unsafe and messing around with everyone, but I also think it’s more destructive to marry the first bossy “old-school” boy you meet because you’re horny.

  11. backwards says:

    Ugh there is a part 2? when will this

  12. Katie says:

    I saw this trailer when I went to go see the Hunger Games. The whole time I was thinking, “ohhh gawddd, Twilight. GO AWAY.”

    …and then, WHAM. Bella stalking Bambi. I about died laughing.

  13. Franny says:

    I also saw this before the Hunger Games. The whole theatre laughed. I think it really shows that the people who really enjoy the Hunger Games are not the people who enjoy Twilight.

  14. Gene Parmesan says:

    OMG . Theres another one? i thought they were done,…..Here we go again…

  15. Vis says:

    I’ve never watched a Twilight film and don’t plan to, but I’m super excited about Snow White and the Huntsman.

    I though KStew was good in The Runways, so I hope she’s good in that one too – her accent, at least, sounded fine in the trailer.

  16. Gia says:

    Always. So. Painfully. Awkward.

  17. angel says:

    they played this trailer before The Hunger Games movie this weekend. One third of the audience was lauging out loud, a third seems to snort derisively and the last third seemed dismissive.

  18. Agnes says:

    all the twilight stuff makes me want to stick rusty forks in my eyes.

  19. kay says:

    I like the movies and the books. I have no idea why, because everything everyone said above is the truth- they are perfectly horrid. The acting, the story. Bella is a terrible example for any young person- screaming nightmares because her boyfriend left her? Unable to function without a man? who wrote this sh-t?
    I let my daughter, who is 10, watch them and used them as an example of what NOT to be like in highschool.

    still, I like them. I cannot explain it.

    • DeltaJuliet says:

      Thank you! Me too. I co-sign everything you said. And yet….I still watch lol

      I can’t explain it.

    • Jen D says:

      I think it’s okay to like them. They’re nice little beach reads, and they’re entertaining. By discussing them with your daughter you’re teaching her to think critically about pop culture, and that’s great. I didn’t enjoy them, but I see the appeal.

    • Sophie says:

      I feel exactly the same way. The movies are so embarrassingly bad that I’m cringing for the actors half the time…and yet still I can’t get enough. I love this series no matter how hard I try not to.

    • Mich says:

      Pst! Over here. Shhhh! Come closer so I can whisper…(me tooooo – but don’t tell anyone!).

      Well, I liked the books at any rate. The movies truly suck.

      Of course, my liking the books might have had something to do with me being in a vulnerable state. I was stuck in bed for a few weeks with kidney stones and resulting problems.

    • Janet says:

      I have a list called “Crappy Movies You Can’t Stop Watching” and the Twilight movies, along with Avatar and a couple of others, figure prominently on it.

      The movies have a certain silly charm. The books, on the other hand are gaggingly awful. Meyer has no idea of plot development and even less of character development, and she writes like a seventh grader. (That could be a generous comparison.)

      I have to make one exception for the movies. The first three films were fun to watch. Part I of “Breaking Dawn” was so dreadful I have no wish whatever to subject myself to further torture by watching Part II.

  20. Jess says:

    People laughed at that preview and one guy shouted “Awesome!” And then everyone laughed! Yes, it’s seriously stupid!

  21. alibeebee says:

    the movies are pathetic.. every time i watch them i have the distinct feeling i wasted x amount of hours of my life that i will never get back. I will not read the books.. I can’t i tried and the prose and style of writing is so poor it’s insulting to my sensibilities. however i did succumb to pressure and did read all hunger games books and i liked them. the writing was smarter. k-stew is a terrible actress she always has the same expression so bad and R-Patz is not handsome .. talk about an oops on the casting dept. sorry will not see this until it is free on TV

  22. Jade says:

    I love twilight. Yeah there are some super cheesy parts but it can be romantic.
    Even though everyone is “over it”, I wish some outlets would stop been so misogynistic towards the fans.

  23. the original bellaluna says:

    What irritates the bejeebers out of me about this series is Bella’s chronic martyr syndrome.

    I’ve read all 4 books (I was on bed-rest during pregnancy) and her whiney “it’s always all my fault everything bad in the world is happening” thing GRATES ON MY NERVES.

    • Cindy says:

      I hate how Bella is just automatically The Most Important Person on Earth for no reason whatsoever. Edward, his whole family, all the wolves, stage major battles and escape plans to protect her, but they stood there and watched that poor little girl vampire get killed by the Dakota Fanning vampire clique. Then everyone went about their business and nothing else was said about it. I get that she wasn’t a main character, but still.

      Other series have had the whole “chosen one” bit, but there was a purpose to it. Harry Potter had to fight Voldemort, Buffy had to fight everyone, Bella just exists. Her entire life revolves around her obsession with Edward.

      • the original bellaluna says:

        I know, right? Like the whole freakin’ vampire/werewolf community exists to defend her twisted sense of honour. (I get it: her mind-block power is valuable. But STILL.)

        And of course, we’ve got to listen to her “oh, it’s all my fault” guilt-thought-processes, like she invented vampires and werewolves and their conflicts.

        I just CAN’T with the Twilight series.

        But I’ve read the Hunger Games series three times in less than the month I’ve owned it! Because (awful as the subject matter is) I ENJOY it. It inspires thought. I can visualise Katniss hunting and trading. I can SEE her mother being devastated by grief and unable to provide for her family. I can SEE the eldest stepping up to feed and care for the family. The subject matter is deep; the characters are well-developed; and it’s something I can see happening in our near(ish) future.

  24. Bobsta says:

    “You’re so beautiful. WE ARE THE SAME TEMPERATURE NOW” Damn. Those vampires sure know how to smooth talk.

  25. crtb says:

    Breaking Dawn part 1 was the worst of all of the Twilight movies. And Bella was the worst thing in the movie.

  26. Jaxx says:

    Oh come on everybody. You know you’ll have to watch Bella’s kid go from birth to walking and talking in 20 minutes. I wonder how many kids they’ll use to show her development.

    I did cringe through most of the last one and the wolves always make me laugh. But I did read all the books. I am a voracious reader and I had to know what happened next no matter how much they made me squirm. So I can’t wait to see the battle at the end.

    However, I don’t admit this to anyone but my family. If anyone from Celebitchy calls me on it I’ll deny I ever wrote this.

  27. aud says:

    whenever they make them “run”, I break down in laughter and can’t watch anymore.

    I’m expecting this to be horrible but I’ll go see it anyways, for the lulz

  28. Jenna says:

    Good gosh, I can’t wait for this series to be over.

  29. Shy says:

    Gosh what were they thinking? It’s one thing when in first movie those vampires went somewhere to hunt and killed some anonymous animals. No one cared. But this is freaking Bambi!!! And they put innocent little deer and then that Vampire Monster Bella is preparing to kill it.

    People didn’t felt too bad when zombies killed that Hershel’s family in Walking Dead finale. But EVERYONE feels bad for that poor deer. Such a bad promotion strategy. They thought fans will piss from happiness on this iconic image from the book. Like they did with those feathers. But I think that even twihards are freaked out in horror with that image. Everybody loves Bambi :)

  30. Katie says:

    Summit made a fatal mistake in making Breaking Dawn two movies. Their other mistake was waiting an entire year to release the last part. The twilight wave crested with eclipse.

  31. Diana says:

    I just love how everyone is so keen on hating Twilight and loving HG. I love them both because because both are COMPLETELY diferent stories! Of course Katniss is a badass and has no time for love; she lives in a postapocalyptic world where she can die any second whether from starvation or the games themselves. She has grown up around that and doesn’t have much space in her mind for much other than comming up with ways to survive. HG is a story about political oppresion and psychological damage as a way of control. Twilight on the other hand is a light love story that lays uppon supernatural circumstances. Bella is a bored teenager that finds herself in a set of extraordinary events and falls in love HARD for someone she shouldn’t want. I can relate to that and just because I can enjoy rommance and find epicness in it, that doesn’t make me weaker or dumber than anyone. that’s not saying that it has no flaws; Bella is a Mary sue character that whines way too much while HG can get unnecesarily boring in some parts and in terms of literary style I don’t find neither of them (not Twiligth not HG)too sofisticated, but I can find good things in both sagas and find both are great stories. at least to me. Enough with the ranting.

  32. kimberly says:

    Not gonna see the movie. While the 2nd half of the book was more interesting the final “battle” was a total let down since there was not a fight, but just a few people chit chatting real serious, you know that the crappy people doing the movie will just start making shit up to keep their target audience’s husbands and boyfriends entertained for a minute. The adaptations to the screen were just terrible. The acting, especially A. Greene, are just pathetic attempts that seem to make you roll your eyes and laugh at the actors.

    I guess I’d only see the movie if I got an illegal download and I was really bored and really high.

  33. Michelle says:

    Jesus. The first movie was awful, the second movie was boringly stale, the third movie was nothing but CGI effects, the first Breaking Dawn was just shitty sex scenes, so hell yeah the fifth movie is going to be awful. The bOoks were fine, but they got old. Don’t fight about religion on a teeny-bop movie blog. Come on people just get over it. Kristen Stuart can’t act and Robert Patinson is overestimated.