Redmond O’Neal to dad Ryan: quit talking about me to the press

Yesterday we saw Ryan O’Neal on The Today Show trying to get us all to feel sorry for him. He was promoting a memoir about his life with Farrah Fawcett, but somehow he made himself into a victim of Farrah’s moods and made her death all about him. When it came to talking about his kids, he admitted that he probably was a bad parent, but said that his children were all adults now and were responsible for their own lives. He barely remembered to mention his youngest child, Redmond, 27, with Farrah. He may have been joking when he said “Who’s the other one? Redmond.” Either way, it came across as cruel.

Ryan, 71, is suffering from prostate cancer and leukemia and to be frank he’s probably at the end of his life. That doesn’t give him a pass for the things he’s said and done though. I was familiar with how he was partying with Redmond and probably supplying him drugs prior to Redmond’s multiple arrests and stints in jail. Some of you mentioned that you’d read his daughter Tatum’s biography A Paper Life and that Tatum detailed the neglect and physical and emotional abuse she suffered as a child. Tatum wrote that a friend of her father’s molested her, and that at the age of 12 she was taken to an orgy by then 17 year-old Melanie Griffith, who was dating her father at the time. Ryan would have been 34.

Without getting into other known details of what a terrible father (and person) Ryan is, it’s just safe to assume that he’s treated his children awfully. He’s also continuing to use them to promote his book. On the Today Show yesterday, Ryan detailed a scene from his past with Farrah in which then 6 year-old Redmond held a butcher knife to his stomach in a very sad attempt to get his parents to stop fighting. Well Redmond is a private person, and according to sources quoted on Radar Online he’s telling his father to stop bringing him up in interviews. This book has got to hurt then. Here’s more:

As Ryan O’Neal continues his publicity tour to promote his memoir, Both of Us, My Life With Farrah, Redmond O’Neal, his son with the late Charlie’s Angels star, has begged his father to stop talking about him publicly, is exclusively reporting.

As we previously reported, the one-time Hollywood hunk came off as a broken man during an interview on Today on Tuesday morning, admitting his failure as a parent and his profound loneliness without longtime love Farrah.

During the interview, O’Neal was asked by Matt Lauer about an incident that the actor chronicled in his book in which a then six-year-old Redmond begged his parents to stop fighting and threatened to stab himself with a knife if they didn’t.

“Redmond talked to his father on the phone on Tuesday and asked his dad to stop talking about him during interviews,” a family source tells

“Redmond isn’t a public figure, he shuns the spotlight and is extremely shy, and just wants to keep his private life out of the public domain. Luckily, Redmond is in a safe place right now and can deal with his feelings in a healthy and controlled setting. Redmond’s complex relationship with his father is one of his triggers in his drug use. Redmond is going to need to come to grips with the fact that his father isn’t going to change and will need to set boundaries…”

As previously reported, Redmond and Tatum don’t think their father’s memoir is an honest account of their relationship with him.

“Redmond absolutely hates the press and just wants to live his life out of the spotlight,” the source says. “He is trying to stay sober and having his father out there talking about his life isn’t helping Redmond. He just wants Ryan to shut up about him,” the insider says.

[From Radar]

I missed this earlier story from Radar where Tatum and Redmond were slamming their father’s new book. In the book, Both Of Us, My Life With Farrah, Ryan claims that he got busted with meth in that 2008 raid because he took some of Redmond’s stash away and kept it in his own room for safekeeping. Just like the cocaine in Lindsay’s pants was someone else’s, right? A source close to Redmond counters that the drugs “were absolutely 100% his, and not Redmond’s.”

In regard to the story where Ryan hit on Tatum, his own daughter, at Farrah’s funeral, he tries to reframe that as well. Ryan admitted in Vanity Fair back then that he didn’t recognize Tatum. He said “I was just trying to be funny with a strange Swedish woman, and it’s my daughter. It’s so sick.” Only in his book Ryan tried to play it off like he was making a joke. He (or his ghost writer, to be accurate) wrote “Following Farrah’s death, one magazine suggested the unthinkable: that I actually had come on to Tatum. It was an innocent private joke between the two of us. Ever since she was a little girl, Tatum and I would play this game pretending we’d just met. It was silly and sweet.”

I can’t imagine having a father this neglectful and narcissistic. It must make it so much worse that he’s famous and is now dredging up past family pain and reframing it to make him sound innocent and misunderstood. I hope Ryan at least apologizes to his children at some point, although it sounds like he’s still pretty oblivious about the effect he had on them.

Redmond and Ryan are shown out together in January, 2010 outside a store and in June, 2010 visiting Farrah’s grave on the anniversary of her death. Credit: FameFlynet and PCNPhotos

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45 Responses to “Redmond O’Neal to dad Ryan: quit talking about me to the press”

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  1. Anon says:

    One cannot make amends to the dead, Ryan. But he still continues to try and throw his children under the bus and make himself the victim. Stop being a greedy fame-ho too.
    Clearly flucked up when a father is on national TV telling how his 6 year old was threatening to stab himself or how his son is a lost cause. Asshole.

  2. Maguita says:

    It sadly looks like his children will have to wait for that piece of megalomaniac shit to die for them, to finally get on with their lives, and bury their demons.

    • lucy2 says:

      Unfortunately I agree. It’s pretty amazing the amount of damage he inflicted on them. Not to excuse their behavior, but you can see how they got where they are.

      • Kimbob says:

        Yes, you are so right. Also, looking at the pics of Redmond, it does seem like he’s painfully shy and private. It doesn’t take a stretch of the imagination to realize Ryan probably runs roughshod over Redmond.

        I truly feel for ALL of Ryan’s offspring. Also, Redmond, from day ONE, probably never had a CHANCE. I truly wish for some serious healing for all of them (his children).

      • gg says:

        Probably the worst part about it is denials. They can’t even discuss the past with him not starting up again. Make you crazy!

    • Carolyn says:

      Ryan isn’t admitting what he’s done. If this continues to be a stumbling block in their recovery..even his death won’t help them put it behind them. Being told they are liars (by Ryan twisting words) would add to the pain. I hope they get a chance to confront him before he goes. He’s such a piece of you-know-what.

      • Marie Antoinette Jr. says:

        I think it’s time to fight fire with fire. The kids should confront him in the media. Go on a show like “TODAY” and refute what he says in his book. It might make them feel better to start publicly fighting back.

  3. brin says:

    What a piece of work he is.

  4. Kamille says:

    He is useless. STFU and die. Stop abuse your own children.

    • Jill says:

      I second that. O’Neal is like the villain in a film that can only be stopped by killing him. There are few people I truly feel this way about, but I think there is no redemption possible for him at this point. Sometimes, the things a person does just go beyond the point of forgiveness. His children now must just learn to live with it. I think forgiveness is simply asking too much.

  5. NYC_girl says:

    That first photo sums it up.

    • The Original Denise says:

      Exactly! Faux posing on Farrah’s grave. Awful, just awful and tragic. I loved her; she was a great part of my childhood tv.

  6. the original bellaluna says:

    I feel bad for his kids, even at their current ages. He needs to just stop talking. Just shut it, Ryan.

  7. Elizabeth says:

    @ Maquita :
    This kinda reminds me of my parents although they weren’t as bad. But my mother in particular had no idea of boundaries and had a major case of denial about her own role, so I had to establish the boundaries myself. Ryan’s kids have to do that now – no reason to wait until he is dead. They have the ability to be in control of this relationship now. And that may (likely) involve shutting their father out. If he dies during this time, there is nothing that they can do about it. Ryan is not looking at his own role in this and his kids (even as adults) need to be in an emotionally safe place.

    • Maguita says:

      No matter the boundaries his children have set, that piece of shit keeps on breaking those boundaries by not only publicly talking about his kids, but also recounting his children’s horrifying childhood, THE WAY HE SEES IT!!

      By his actions alone, no matter the boundaries he s not letting them heal.

      And I am truly sorry about your parents. I hope you find closure, peace of mind, and move on with your life.

  8. QQ says:

    I might get flamed but IDGAF: Cancer couldnt have happened to a better guy

    Kelly Osbourne was on Today doing the Professionals ( Dr Nancy, Boss as always, called him out for attention whoring with that bandaid on the nose, she was all; eh he shoulda rescheduled!) and they asked about comment on that shitbag being there yesterday, she said she went to school with Redmond and that without getting into too much for HIS sake etc that Ryan was at the very least cruel , she also spoke about how he was shirking his responsibility in fucking his kids up and how in her own struggle Ozzy blames himself even though she recognizes that no one was going to keep her away from drugs when she was doing em

  9. pwal says:

    Yeah… RON needs to wrap a taste on it. Farrah died the same day as MJ; MJ got a lot of the shine that day (under very unfortunate circumstances), which is not to say that the Farrah fans didn’t express their grief. But their grief will not translate into a third act for RON and he needs to stop trying to parlay one.

    And if these ‘sources’ account of Redmond’s stance about media is correct, then I have much more hope for Redmond’s recovery. Given how some people have used their drug dependencies to extend their 15 minutes (the late Jeff Conaway comes to mind), it’s nice to know that he’s avoiding that particular temptation.

    Good luck to him and to the rest of the O’Neal children.

  10. Amanda G says:

    What did Farrah ever see in him?

    • Jill says:

      I don’t know. But the more I learn about him, the more I question her. I know that’s harsh, but damn. I don’t want to speak ill of the dead, but good God, he is a monster.

      • Marie Antoinette Jr. says:

        I agree. If only half of what is said is true, she sat there for years and watched him abuse the fuck out of her son and the other kids.
        Farrah quit Charlie’s Angels because Lee Majors wanted her to stay home and be his little woman. Then she ends up with the POS Ryan O’neal? I think it’s pretty obvious she had some problems.

  11. Trek Girl says:

    I hope Redmond is able to get a better life for himself, and get out of the shadow of his father and his father’s life.

    Good luck to Redmond and the rest of his siblings.

    • pwal says:

      He really can get away from this situation, especially since he’s still young. He is around the age when young people leave home and try to establish roots elsewhere. Sure, he probably has to fulfill many requirements pertaining to his probation, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he has or will be guilt-tripped into staying in CA by Ryan.

      • Trek Girl says:

        Yes, there is plenty of time for Redmond to leave all of this crap in the dust. He doesn’t want his business out there for public consumption, and that’s a great sign. I think he can get past this, I really do.

  12. palermo says:

    He keeps changing what stage his cancer is, first it was four, now it’s two. I don’t really believe anything he says. I think he was a rotten father, a rotten partner, he cheated on Farrah while she was dying with her best friend, he stole the million dollar picture she had hanging in her house. He’s just scum.

  13. DeltaJuliet says:

    If he doesn’t realize it by now, at age 71, he isn’t going to.

    What a gross excuse for a father.

  14. DeltaJuliet says:

    He sounds like the male version of my husband’s mother. There are three kids in the family and they are all f’ed up to varying degrees. The only way to stop that cycle is cut them out completely. Easier said than done, and also I would imagine even harder when your dad is famous and won’t shut his hole.

  15. ol cranky says:

    I thought it was prostate cancer he has now, not pancreatic. . . was I wrong?

  16. Sara says:

    I watched their reality show on rerun a couple of months ago. I couldn’t believe how scared Tatum was to confront her father at times. I can’t believe that Melanie Griffith was doing crazy shit like that at 17 and thought it was okay to take a 12 year old to an orgy. She’s probably screwed up from Ryan too. Hollywierd I will never understand them.

  17. me says:

    Ewww, I can’t believe how destructive he is to his kids. They should cut him off completely, and seek family therapy. Toxic toxic toxic old man

  18. Ginger says:

    I had (and still sort of have) a complicated relationship with my father who is much like Ryan O’Neal. This is why I read Tatum’s books and watched their show as well. He reminds me so much of my own father it’s scary. Luckily, the extent of abuse that my brother and I endured while on the same plane as theirs wasn’t quite as severe. I have had to conquer my demons as well. It’s eerie, our father’s are even the same age. I look to Tatum as somewhat of an example of how to overcome my own complicated relationship with my father and my own sobriety. I feel so much for them all because they have to endure this publicly. At least my own battles are anonymous and certainly not in the media. My judgement of Ryan after watching he and Tatum’s show was that he outwardly projects himself to be so charming/good looking/etc. but behind closed doors he is a completely different person and is certainly in denial about all the damage he has inflicted. It’s all way too familiar. I just pray for Tatum, Redmond and Griffin. I hope they keep going on a positive path.

    • Original Lucy says:

      I don’t know if RON is in denial of what he did to those kids, or if its that he just doesn’t give a crap…I think its the latter…

  19. Anon says:

    I read that a judge gave Redmond some sound advice (when released from jail)… cut his father and/or family out of his life for his recovery if need be…as they are toxic to his life. Do it, Redmond!

  20. No Way says:

    Ryan really did mess with his kids, but none of these “kids” are kids anymore, Tatum and Griffin are almost in their 50’s, certainly older than most people posting here. Redmond is 27, should have moved out a long time ago. Sorry we don’t get to continually blame our parents forever, at some point it boils down to just you.

    Who knows with that logic, Ryan could maybe blame is father. They could have made their own lives and moved away from the toxic relationship, Patrick did and apparently he made it okay, and works for ESPN. He did have a different mother than any of the other 3 so maybe the Mom had something to do with it too. I still think by now it is them.

    • Boxy Lady says:

      Patrick is the only one Ryan didn’t have a hand in raising and Patrick is the only one (as far as I know) who didn’t have a drug problem. I don’t think it’s coincidence.

      On another note, I don’t know if anyone here watches the show Bones but I find it weird to watch when he comes on the show, knowing so much about his personal life and what kind a dad he is.

  21. Jackie says:

    i would love for all his kids to completely cut him out of their lives. maybe, then they can get better. he is one sick fuck.

  22. Aud says:

    It’s no surprise that Tatum and Redmond had the problems they did, when their parents (in the case of Tatum, step-parent) were so self-involved.
    Sure Farrah is no longer with us, but she was all for herself, despite the ideal media articles. How can you allow, as a parent, for your son to be exposed to such a toxic father?
    She didn’t notice it or she was so narcissistic that it didn’t really matter, or give Redmond a chance?
    Sure it’s too late to change the past, but these sorts of cases serve as examples.
    Don’t get me started on Melanie Griffith. Her morals aren’t any better, then again her parents allowed her to do whatever she wanted as a teenager, and she has perpetuated that; one of her teenage daughters smokes in front of her, etc.
    The shrinks of Hollywood can always rely on celebrities for their future income.

  23. ViloDeMenus says:

    Redmond has unsuccessfully lived off both of his parents for his entire life, so his father has every right to talk about the burden that is Redmond. Not that I like Ryan O’Neal in any way shape or form, he’s a total pig, but Redmond made is bed and too bad if he has to lie in it with all that money mommy and daddy provided him without lifting a finger, he squandered a privileged life himself – with his choices.

  24. Father says:

    Growing up in a culture like hollywood is not easy. Adults and children are exposed to a fast pace life style with an emphasis on business and high earnings. Drugs are found in all cultures , and children stop developing emotionally when they are taking drugs. Blaming anyone for family circumstances is not a solution to solving family problems. Ryan O’Neal’s children must look beyond their father to mend their lives. Blaming each other is a non-ending circular trap that many families fall into.

  25. skinanny says:

    He was a jerk in the 60’s, and he is just a bigger jerk now!!!